STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

keepsake · August 2016

Meow -

"Cancer hates healthy bodies."

Yeah, cancer hates healthy bodies so much that it attacked my (previously) healthy body. They had best work harder to find a cure in order to prevent "hateful" cancer from attacking more healthy bodies.

That doctor's office should add that to their poster!

Meow13 · August 2016

It is all about the misconception that it is the breast cancer victims fault they drank, smoked, didn't eat right or exercise. Making people believe they can avoid cancer by healthy lifestyle. This burns me to no end, whoever pedals that crap should get a big kick in the rear. Healthy lifestyle yes, it prevents cancer NO!

keepsake · August 2016

I agree with you, Meow13. Probably, I should have added <sarcasm> to my above post about the poster to communicate my tone.

pupmom · August 2016

Most of us know people who did all that "bad" stuff and died at 90 of old age, never having been diagnosed with cancer. It is really a case of blame the (cancer) victim.

leftduetostupidmods · August 2016

I still remember my oncologist saying that "besides the whole cancer thing, I was the healthiest patient he ever had". Grrr.

My paternal grandmother's eldest brother, started smoking since he was 11, smoked all his life home made cigarettes from home-grown tobacco and newspaper paper, ate all fatty stuff, drank vodka like crazy, died at the age of 107.

Oakmoss · August 2016

Yorkiemom, there were people like that in my family, hard-living types who died of old age in their 80s and 90s, never sick a day in their lives. When I had genetic counseling in July, we were going over my relatives, and I mentioned that one of my grandmothers had lived into her 80s on nicotine and bitterness, and was never sick. The good doctor laughed. I liked him, he was an intelligent and compassionate man.

Optimist52 · August 2016

My grandmother died a few years ago at age 100. My aunts and uncles have all lived until mostly 80s and 90s. I was only 40 when first diagnosed with BC and had breastfed both my kids for many years (supposed to be protective against BC). As my BS said, I "drew the short straw".

Meow13 · August 2016

keepsake, I know just like you I was so healthy and bang cancer.

sas-schatzi · August 2016

Lita, I agree, modern medicine knows allot, but then problems are found. I never let them give me the dx of fibromyalgia until it was convenient when the AI's that took my usual lifelong post polio pain to new heights. I too wondered about Fibro & post polio. The timing for the early recognition of fibro was concurrent to the research of post polio. But know one made a connection.

Since few knew that only 1:100 had weakness or paralysis, that 99:100 had flu like symptoms only, and almost 20 years since the last epidemic, docs had lost allot of understanding of polio. Plus, the Epstien Barr virus had just been identified and was associated with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. But EBV wasn't present in all CFS patients. It was a pretty bad decade in the sense that strange illness which were predominantly in women were appearing. The doc community was predominantly male. There was and still is allot of sexism in the medical community.

Another concurrent thing happened in the Endocrinology community. The TSH as a measurement of Thyroid Stimulating Hormone was discovered. It became the gold standard for measuring whether the thyroid was normal. Prior to this, for a hundred years, patients were treated by symptoms with disscicated(sic) pig thyroid hormone. Once the docs got glued to the TSH, they stopped listening to the patients. Previously, treated symptoms were now looked at as Psychosomatic.

All this happened mid 70's to the 80's. It wasn't a good time. But these problems linger even until today. For all these problems.

Now a new stupid, stupid. stupid, irresponsible study has come out. I just went on a rant in several pages. I was spitting nails over a couple of countries. I'll link it.

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/136/topics/839123?page=5#idx_141

Hence, my question to you, did your docs blow you off with early complaints?

keepsake · August 2016

Meow13, When I had my port placed, before the procedure, the PA asked me questions about my health status. I said "except for having cancer, I'm healthy" and then quickly added how strange that sounded. She said "You'd be surprised how many times I hear that!" To me, that says it all!

Lita57 · August 2016

Sas, yes my PCP blew it all off and thought I had just pulled or strained something. Then she thought it was either arthritis or sciatica. This went on for months until the pain was so intolerable that I ended up in emergency, and an MRI later, bingo, Cancer.

phbr66 · August 2016

I just had the nurse say that to me the day after my mastectomy. Really helpful, wish I'd eaten more ice cream and chocolate and not worried so much about how I looked. My husband is back in anger faze the last two days and has had a few drinks. Why does this piss me off so much? I'm angry too, but it's not very helpful. I'm sick of having to babysit everybody elses' feelings when it is me that has to go through it. I feel burdened enough without two ladies saying, "I think mammograms cause cancer." Wow. It is ugly out there.

Toscaxoxo · August 2016

A poem that describes my life right now:

&&*^%

$%^$##

&^^%$

^^%%$

$#@(

Is that a haiku? I can't tell.

Thank you!

MoreShoes · August 2016

Went to work before the summer vacation, had a long talk with a colleague. She had an operation for DCIS and we had a lengthy discsussion about her choosing not to do rads. I said I had finished with all the other treatments and the next week I'd start with a month of rads (this is the third time I'm dealing with BC). I just got a card from her saying: I hope you manage coping with the chemo.

If you are not listening why do you even bother?!?!?! My psychologist claims that I have to believe that everyone means well. Maybe but I can also choose to ignore stupidity.

tangandchris · August 2016

The Haiku cracked me up!!!!

I'm still struggling emotionally....yes still. It's not as bad as before, it is different and just a part of my day to day life. At first it was a shock all this cancer shit, now it's just the "new normal". Feeling like crap, joints hurting, being fat, fatigued, fuzzy thinking....absolutely no sex drive what so ever. Now I"m having trouble at work, manager thinks I'm not handling my work well. Had my yearly review 2 weeks ago and busted out crying when she started criticizing me. I still think she's being nit picky, but maybe I really can't handle things anymore? I cried during my review, I didn't even do that while going thru chemo and surgeries. wtf??

The struggle is real

((hugs))

pajim · August 2016

Ladies, don't ever let anyone tell you that receiving a breast cancer diagnosis is anything but bad luck. We won (or lost?) the lottery.

Meow13 · September 2016

tangandchris, sorry you had a bad interaction with your supervisor. It is hard to believe the nit picking people can do about total BS. I remember looking at my supervisor in the face after breast cancer treatment and my review said something about meeting schedule for a task but not meeting a satisfactory timeline. The work was done all was good it was just delayed by my treatment. There are jerks out there everywhere who dont get it. I didn't go on vacation. I remember feeling like less of a person and less of a useful employee because of this disease. People should be ashamed for making us feel that way.

Lita57 · September 2016

My heart goes out to all of you who have to work during this miserable disease and its aftermath, and deal w/insensitive performance evals.

With my extensive mets, I can't work anymore - not even part time. I tried it for almost a month when I was first Dx'd, using a pillow and a large heating pad, Salon Pas patches, Topricin cream, etc. It's very hard now for me to sit at a desk for hours, and my job requires me to lift heavy boxes from time to time, and with five spinal compression fractures and three rib fractures, the MO thought I should just go out on disability. The fear w/spinal mets is that a vertebrae could collapse or shatter, seriously compressing the spinal cord, and then you're paralyzed on top of having cancer. (I've known of more than a couple of women to whom that has actually happened...very scary thought that it could happen to me, too.)

Disability doesn't pay what I'm used to netting after taxes, so I'm having to dip into retirement savings. That's ok because I'm only expected to live another 2-3 years, so what I've saved should last that long. I'm a frugal person now that I don't have to update my wardrobe and accessories for work anymore. I'm also spending less on gas since I don't have to commute anymore.

ShetlandPony · September 2016

No, a haiku has three lines, Toscaxoxo. But nice poem, nevertheless.

april485 · September 2016

FU to BC! My contribution for today. A very good friend that I grew up with just died. She was diagnosed 5 months ago - 5 short F'ing months ago and this morning I received an email from her husband that she passed last night. Her lungs were damaged too far to respond to treatment.

It was BC. She never had/found a lump and this is more common than you think. It is called an "occult tumor." They found that it was BC when they biopsied her lungs. I am sick about this. She leaves her husband, 3 grown kids and her 4 grandbabies, all under 5. She was 56.

Wicked · September 2016

April, I am so sorry about your friend. That sucks!

Seq, what you wrote about being the only who has to live with your diagnosis really resonated with me. One thing I noticed as I was being wheeled down the hall to go to the OR was that it was just me. All those people who are standing with me (and I am grateful for them, honestly) cannot be there and do this with me. Ultimately it has to be done alone. I don't think people who are not dealing with this understand how lonely it can be.

seq24 · September 2016

Wicked--OMG! You got that exactly right! We have so many around us supporting us, but this is essentially ALL ON US to deal with alone. All the side effects, all the time it takes, all the heartache and fear and even the joys are ours and ours alone to deal with. No matter how much anyone tries to help, it all comes down to one person! Thank you for understanding!!! I've felt that since the beginning, every time someone says we are going to do this with you. Right!

sas-schatzi · September 2016

April, sorry for your loss, it's just so heart wrenching.

Tang, sorry for the chitty boss. I know you are in a high power job. It may be time to consider a job change. Generally, I have found over 40 some years either with myself or others, once the boss starts that type of criticism, they flip to criticizing more and more. It is so often related to a life changing event either personally or with a family member that requires care i.e. a parent or child. It, also, may be time to consider disability. On disability they have a "ticket to work" thing that allows for so much work time and still maintain your disability coverage. Plus, once enrolled in the program they help in finding a job that suits your disabled abilities. There is a gal here that has some skill re: understanding how disability works. I'll Pm her name. She's open to mentoring folks in the process, but I haven't asked if I could post her name in public.

Lita, I kinda guessed that. I've heard that story to often here, that folks are blown off re symptoms, then get an advanced stage dx. Which may have been different, if they had been diagnosed more timely. Sucks, just sucks.

Tosca good one

sas-schatzi · September 2016

Here's a link to the page on that research article that I raised the dickens about the other day. The Mods did a name change on the article, and there was input from some here(thank you, Meow & Shetland). I think it's important that more add their thoughts as we need tp prevent this from happening again.

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/73/topics/847566?page=1#idx_27

april485 · September 2016

Sas, I read that article on STAT news and also thought it was hokey. I know how crappy the AI makes me feel (and I am on my second one) and so I don't put much credence in that study. I know my own body and I was very hopeful I would not have problems or they would be minimal. Did not get lucky. Sitting here hurting like crazy right now. Damp day which exacerbates the joint pain. Ugh!

Anonymous · September 2016

April ~ So sorry your friend passed. Cancer is so damn sneaky......

Wicked ~ Your words are perfect. Sad but true.

Toscaxoxo ~ Your poem is quite possibly the most beautiful thing I have ever read. Even after several readings, I find myself with tears in my eyes. You my dear, truly have a gift.

"Haiku poems typically consist of 3 lines. The first and last lines of a Haiku have 5 syllables and the middle line has 7 syllables."

Your interpretation of the Haiku is perfect in its originality and truly conveys the emotions so many of us feel. Please continue to share your works with us!

sas-schatzi · September 2016

April, when you read the thread you will see the importance. That study was hockum, but the danger is it's now out in the domain. Docs will be quoting it, Oncologists, church members, relatives. It's a piece of chit, but no sense rewriting all the stuff here. Please, give it a read. Thanks

april485 · September 2016

I did read it. I agree with you. I initially thought it was interesting but lacked any credibility due to size being too small but truly, it is a flawed study period. I know how crappy I feel from this drug and I highly doubt it is the 'nocebo' effect they cite. Tell that to my horrible knee pain that is so crippling, I have to use a cane much of the time. And, what is worse, it did not go away much during my "planned vacation with onc approval) which tells me some of the damage from the AI can be permanent or exacerbate already crippling arthritis which I have. ugh! Thanks again. We don't need docs believing that chit!

sas-schatzi · September 2016

April, thanks for reading and posting The story isn't finished yet. I suggest that you cut and paste your above post or incorporate in your original post.

I requested that DrW come and peruse the thread. I think it could be an eye opener for him. I would guess not many patients would talk to him as frankly as we have.

leftduetostupidmods · September 2016

Those hokeys are welcome to come have a chat with my severe advancing cervical osteoarthritis that did not exist before me taking AIs. And also they can come with the solution of reversal, because, it stands to logic, if your brain makes you have all those problems, then your brain should be able to reverse them.

Cheers.

STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

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