Unexpected silver linings and breast cancer

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  • Shayne
    Shayne Member Posts: 1,500
    edited June 2013

    wow - great story - im sure it was there for a reason  :)

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2013

    Ckmoss, now that's totally amazing! Hoping its a premonition of only good things to come! You might not have noticed otherwise! You'll see lots of little and big things like that, people you would have not otherwise met, opportunities to make choices you wouldn't have before (like some little things just don't matter because there's so much to be grateful for). Be mindful of the world around and most importantly yourself.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2013

    I'm learning to make my own silver linings. I had a horrible experience last week with a new PT office. That was my second appt, the first being an eval and being put on a TENS machine (which wasn't pleasant for me). At the first appt, I specified clearly that I only wanted to be seen by females (this place is mainly for sports injuries and staffed by a lot of men). I don't think that's being picky or unreasonable but I don't feel comfortable explaining, let alone allowing myself to be touched by a man who isn't medically qualified (yes, I know they're certified, but for me, there's a big difference). This time, the appt was scheduled with a female again but the owner of the company, a man, saw me. Tried to explain politely of my preference, but he preceded to lecture me how qualifed he is (but that's not the point). Worst part was when he wanted to "see my scars", I declined as he said it was written I needed shoulder work and he didn't provide a gown for me to change into! What did he expect, me to lift my top and flash my chest? I don't think so! The rest of the 10 minutes (it was a 30-minute session but he was 20 minutes late so he cut the session short) he basically spent lecturing me how I didn't really about my medical condition (such as why I thought I have lympedema - duh, I've had it on the delayed side for 16 years, and my previous PT did measurements and said I also have it on my new mx side). I refused to pay because he didn't provide me any therapy, exercise, or treatment and really, for a fraction of my assigned time?

    BUT, this made me realize how wonderfully and compassionately my PS and her staff have been treating me. I brought in an orchid plant to the office yesterday as well as a card with a letter detailing how much I appreciated all the kindness, compassion and respect I've been receiving from them all since I began going there in October. Even included some shout-outs of expressions of specific kindness shown me.  My PS was speechless for a bit, even had tears in her eyes, said no one had ever done that before (I had a copy in the card and gave her a separate copy). She laughed at some of the funny things I had written (like how one of her nurses always makes me laugh no matter how I'm feeling). I'm sure I made the office happy yesterday and in turn, that made me feel really good.  

    This was also the same PS I gave a "thank you" card to when she was prepping me for exchange surgery. A little kindness on my part goes a very long way.......

  • Shayne
    Shayne Member Posts: 1,500
    edited June 2013

    I have had similar experiences.....and now I know, when someone comes in the room that I am not expecting to see (or if they are late) - I walk out.  No big drama scene is necessary.  I refuse to waste my time and energy and MONEY.  Whenever I have grinned and beared it, it always ends up not going well for me, and on top of it having to pay for it?  Nope.  Not anymore.  I agree, these experiences make me so grateful for quality care.  And those people SHOULD be rewarded and recognized, whether its a doctor, nurse, receptionist, waitress, whatever.....

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2013

    Hi all! Guess this thread needed a bump.

    Whole lot going on for me since last post (6 or so weeks ago?). Another silver lining I have found has been the timing of this cancer dx. Since last post, have had another surgery (revision to implants), seemed minor but turns out anything but. Being home has allowed me to orchestrate (with help from a brother) my parents' move next week from 250 miles away to a lot more local for me (around 30-35 miles). Have already made 3 trips to their home this year to help them weed through 40+ years of my mom's clothes, clean closets, rooms and stuff amassed in this house for 20 years. It's amazing what technology allows now since my last move in 1998. My parents have not actually seen the exact home in person they're moving into (they did see one which a very similar floor plan, also in the renovation progcess) so I have gone and taken many photos and videos both pre- and post-renovation (and it's a major renovation too). 

    Would I have wanted cancer AGAIN? NO!!!! But by far, the best thing that has come out of this most recent journey is the wonderful people I've met along the way! Thanks, in part, to BCO!

  • lovewins
    lovewins Member Posts: 881
    edited August 2013

    ckmoss that is sooo cool!

  • lovewins
    lovewins Member Posts: 881
    edited August 2013

    I have been thinking about this a lot lately and I really wanted to write about it in a safe place where I think it would be understood.  It has only been a short time since I was dx with bc and don't get me wrong I was devastated when I found out, but I am also more aware of my blessings than ever before.  I remember before bc I used to have to give thought to my blessings so as I could thank the Lord.  Now these past few weeks I have received so many blessings and felt so deeply grateful for them. 

    My boyfriend has really stepped up to the plate...even one of the nurses asked me when I came out of surgery who he was and she told me he really cares about you, which he is pretty stoic with his feelings and it surprised me.

    My Mom and I have always been close but I live 200 miles away so on Mother's Day I told her let's keep intouch everyday even if it is to just say hi in an email and we stuck to it way before I found out I had breast cancer,  At the time I was doing it for her because I thought she might be lonely...little did I know how much I would need her in a few months and our bond has become so much closer.

    I have very good health insurance and 4 months worth of short term disability.  Which the timing of my chemo ends just about the time of the new year and it will roll over again...if this would of hit in Jan. I would be really hurting.

    My brother and my SIL have become closer....before bc we hardly ever talked except Holidays.  My SIL has been stellar and we chat several times a week on fb and my Brother and I have a two long talks.  One time I was having a very hard time (sobbing) because I received a coaching at work (because of performance do to lack of focus because of newly DX) and the second I logged onto my PC he chimmed in to chat.

    I quit smoking after 30 years....never thought I could and I am going on 9 days smoke free & hardly even have a desire now.  Praise God!

    Many of these things are thing I prayed about for a long time and I it is so weird that at this time God has chosen to answer my prayers.   Thanks for giving me a place to express my gratefulness.  I pray for everyone going through this journey to see their silver linings.  God Bless...M

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited August 2013

    It's always such a pleasure to read this thread, and to be reminded of the little and big things that are the silver linings in all our lives. Thank you all.

    • The Mods

  • fredntan
    fredntan Member Posts: 1,821
    edited August 2013

    sure as hell made me a better nurse. nothing like being able to tell another pt about to start chemo, etc-yeah I did that, I survived and so can you. when I got done with treatment. I fell apart. I put in resignation. didn't think I could be a nurse anymore. I couldn't quit. my nurse manager never turned in my resignation. Now I am back , stronger and tougher. nothing like been there done that

  • lovewins
    lovewins Member Posts: 881
    edited August 2013

    fredntan...your story is so wonderful.  It takes a very special person to be a nurse...so exceptional that your manager never turned in your resignation...that truely is a sign you are in the right place. 

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2013

    Fran, I agree with lovewins, you are such a wonderful example to other patients since you've traveled this road before. Nothing beats experience, strength and hope for other people.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2013

    I know I've posted about the silver of BC for my 1st BC dx. Trying to find the silver lining for this 2nd time and I've been so very busy I didn't see it. My Mom has had Alzheimer's for years, Dad has been doing his very best to be her sole care-taker. It's gotten to a point he can no longer do that alone, and they were just too far away (250 miles) for me to be of any real hands-on help. Because of the timing of my recent dx/recon ( I "officially" began this a year ago tomorrow at my annual mammo when something wasn't quite right and I required a biopsy on the spot), my brother and I have down-sized my parents and moved them to only 35 miles from me to a wonderful community that specializes in dementia - all since April! Yay! They officially moved in one month ago today and I've already been out several times to help organize and settle them in. And their old home wasn't on the market 2 days before great offers came in, they should escrow by the end of the week! BC allowed me the time to accomplish this. 

  • GrammyR
    GrammyR Member Posts: 702
    edited August 2013

    2nd timearound I think making that decision to move your parents was a wonderful one and they will be blessed to have you closer to them and visa versa. I moved across country one year ago to be closer to my son and grandkids ( I knew the chances fo them moving my way was not going to happen in the near future) Well a month ago I was diagnosed w/return and am going thry daily Rads right now. Thanks heaven I moved when I did. I had no idea that after 6 clean years this would happen.

  • lovewins
    lovewins Member Posts: 881
    edited August 2013

    Hello 2nd time...I love your quote...so true.  Very true for me.  Sorry you have to go thru this again.  Sometimes those silver linings hit you with a flash long after they have happened.  Wishing you all the best.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2013

    So sorry to hear GrammyR. See, you made the best choice, too and so grateful the timing of yours allowed it to happen that you got settled and had some time before you'll be involved in recovery. Wishing you all the best! So glad your loved ones are close!

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2013

    Thank you lovewins! Have to try to make the best of all of this

  • GrammyR
    GrammyR Member Posts: 702
    edited September 2013

    FrednTan - so happy to read of your nursing story.No doubt your manager recognised really good work and on top of that had a heart. I worked with a big health insurance company and had a coveted M-F job.My manager also was super and even moved my cubicle for more privacy as I wore a scarf to hide my chemo head. I took as much time off as I needed and could leave early anytime .My coworkers brought in more pretty scarves for me all the time too.



    2nd time around- I bought my new home sight unseen as my son and daughter in law took video and many pics for me. I had seen the neighbourhood before and they knew my primary wants.I was pleasantly surprised to find sky lights in my family room. I have been slowly upgrading this 1980s decor. Have had to put a hold on it until I get done w,/Rads now but it does give me a lot to look fowrd to hopefully later this year. I am an avid gardener too and have enjoyed seeing so many perennials

    blooming this year.

  • HopeFaithCourage
    HopeFaithCourage Member Posts: 156
    edited October 2015

    Silver lining? Are you kidding? So many of us are dying!!!!! All experiences have the ability to make us wiser but I'm stage 4. No silver lining.

    No fake pretty boobs. Lol thats the first thing my coworkers said. Oh at least you get fake boobs free. And a long vacation. Wrong. And try getting that job back after FMLA runs out.

    Loss of independence. Scars. Pain. Constant scans. Chemo.again. Financial ruin. My children don't want their mom to die. There is no end to my treatment until death. For many women the battle is won....life goes on. Imagine no end to your treatment. So many of our sisters are dying! No cure. Silver lining! Fear! Where next my brain? lungs?

    I was voted the most optimistic in nursing school. I've worked hard battle after battle. With a smile and a grateful heart.

    I love the Lord but I did before too. I pray. I love. I smile. And I suffer.

  • HopeFaithCourage
    HopeFaithCourage Member Posts: 156
    edited October 2015

    I'm sorry I'm so grouchy this morning. I need to rant. The breast cancer awareness stuff upsets me lately it's not raw enough. It's leaves out the truth of the earth and destruction caused by cancer. We need a cure!!!! Thanks for listening.

  • lisa-e
    lisa-e Member Posts: 819
    edited October 2015
    Rant away, HopeFaithCourage. It is good for everyone to hear the other side of SFBC.
  • HopeFaithCourage
    HopeFaithCourage Member Posts: 156
    edited October 2015

    Silver lining is there. I've developed a greater ability to love and be loved :)

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited October 2015

    Many here have donated . Thank you !........Wandering around and cheerleading again :)


    Donate today, make a difference directly in all our lives. By supporting BCO, we support each other. Thanks and Hugs :)

    image

    https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/110/topic/834331?page=1

    Link to the mainboard donation page

    https://secure3.convio.net/bco/site/Donation2?df_i...

  • Pbrain
    Pbrain Member Posts: 863
    edited April 2016

    I am not married and am an East Coaster in the midwest. When I got my diagnosis, I was thinking "wow, you have to do this alone. Your family and friends are just too far away." WRONG! I have the most wonderful friends here and I found so many BC sisters were there to help me, acquaintances I didn't even know had BC . My cancer team was amazing, caring, kind and are now friends.

    I lost some friends, sure, but they weren't good friends now that I look back. My issues scared them I guess. So now I'm left with two amazing teachings--believe that others love you and will help you, and trust in yourself. I did a-ok on my own, and when I needed people, they were there.

  • Jamiev
    Jamiev Member Posts: 1
    edited September 2016

    I was diagnosed while I was still breastfeeding my 8 month old. I went 8+months of never sleeping more than 4 hours at a time.

    I cried when I had to stop BFing, but silver lining: my baby started sleeping through the night on formula. And I no longer haveto pump at work.

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited September 2016

    Jamie-

    More sleep is always a good thing! We love to hear how our members have found little positives among the negatives. Thank you for sharing!

    The Mods

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