Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Thanks Bonnet,

Actually theylive right in your backyard, in Goshen. I will mention the tick to them, I sure hope the Dr's are aware of the increase in Anaplasmosis. Your message certainly offers an idea that we haven't considered. Most of the family are assuming that it was a stress reaction to hearing there is nothing more that can be done for my brother, her husband. But I don't think a stress reaction can do anything to your actual blood count. Curious thing is my brother has been fighting low blood counts for about two years, needing frequent transfusions. But his are supposedly due to the cancer and the treatments he has gone thru. I will mention this to them, including the fact that the tests can come back negative if if you have it.

Anne

I think there was a NYT “Think Like a Doctor” piece about a year ago in which the diagnosis was a tick-borne disease other than Lyme or Rocky Mt. Spotted Fever. The patient was living in the Northeast--CT, I believe. (There is also an increase in these diseases in south central WI, spreading across the state lines into NW IL and IA).

But this shows that hospice is not just for people in their final days of life--it provides needed respite care for those whose caregivers have suddenly become incapacitated. I’m hoping your SIL can be stabilized and discharged; and as soon as she’s able to resume caring for your brother he too can be discharged from inpatient to home hospice. Prayers for them and for you, Anne.

Anne, you are right. When it rains, it pours. Hope this is the last of the thunderstorms you've had in your family.

Sandra, Do you know anyone with a motor home who would loan it to you? My cousin had her BC treated at MD Anderson. They drove their motor home down from Tulsa and stayed at a park a little ways south of the medical center.

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do."

-- Edward Everett Hale

Just a quick update on my SIL. She was released from the hospital yesterday, but needs to go back to the Dr Tues for blood work. Their best guess right now is that she was taking too much Advil and hat is what caused the bleeding. Since they told my brother he would go home when she got out of the hospital, don't know how he reacted when she went to see him yesterday, because Norren has agreed to stay with hr daughter till she gets her strength back, and isn't sure she will ever be able to bring a Bill home because she knows she cannot take care f him 24/7 without help. He is ok with hospice staff bathing him etc, but will not allow anyone but Noreen to help him at home. I think a nurse comes by every other day to check his vitals, and an aide for a couple of hours each day, but other than that, Noreen is on her own. Her daughter helps every way she can, in fact the poor girl was running to her Mom at the hospital and her Dad at Hospice, trying to be with them both for each meal. They are not very good a accepting help, and since my sister and cousin have both offered many times, all they've been able to do so far is visit and bring lunch once. So I don't see the sense in me rushing up just to be just another person there. We will see how it goes.

Anne

Anne, I've also talked with others and let them know that by allowing people to do something it makes THEM feel better. I know it's hard; we all think it's imposing on others or we feel guilty, but even now, I'm trying to be better about letting others help as I realize it makes them feel like they are doing something in a situation where they really have no control.

Hi to all my oldies friends. I have been reading posts every few days and thinking responses. This morning I am taking time to slow down and relax after days of hurrying off to the nursing home to visit with my mother.

I arrived at New Orleans airport on Tuesday and have been "camping" in our house. No cable TV. Empty refrigerator and freezer. I rolled up the hurricane shutters on some of the windows so it isn't like living in a cave. There's an Anytime Fitness gym nearby so I have gone there a couple of times. Our YMCA membership is on hold for the summer and we use the AF gym in Park Rapid, MN. My sister Linda asked me on the phone last night how it felt to be home. I told her this doesn't feel like home with dh not here and my life not involved with usual activities like playing golf.

I am accomplishing my purpose of giving my youngest sister a break from being daily caregiver to my mother as she makes the difficult adjustment to living in a nursing home. Yesterday I took my mother to church where she got many hugs that she much enjoyed. Then we went to my mother's house and had lunch with some family members. There were seven of us. Unfortunate the subject of politics came up and I felt alienated as though I live in a different reality. That's all I will say about politics.

My mother is doing well and enjoys the social aspect of the nursing home.

Dh is keeping busy and we communicate often. On the 26th I will be catching a plane back to MN.

Blessings to everyone.

Carole, once you get back to MN we'll have to make plans to get together, either here in Fargo or meeting at Detroit Lakes again.

I got my cardiac echo results back, heart function is normal. Guess I'm just getting old and need to slow down and rest more.

Glad your heart is behaving, Puffin. It's always a worry when we go in for those check ups, no matter what it is for. Just occurred to me that I haven't followed up with my surgeon in a long time...way over a year. I was supposed to see him at least once a year but have been so wrapped up in Mike, I forgot.

Good idea about the RV, Wren. I have a friend with a 5th wheel but they hardly ever use it. I might need to figure out how to tow one behind Mike's truck. Can't count on Mike being strong enough.

Minus, I took your advice and got on the waiting list for the church apartments. A VERY nice lady helped me over the phone. Every day I'm calling more places and getting on their waiting lists. Something will turn up...or I'll call my friend about the RV.

People do love to help. You are right, it makes us feel better to help someone else. A friend brought us dinner the other night. It's not like I'm laid up and can't cook, but we had such a busy day, it was wonderful to know that a nice hot meal was waiting. Another friend who lives in Chicago is a big shot with lots of travel miles due to business. She surprised us by making a reservation for the Hampton Inn Medical Center for 6 nights - her treat. What a load off my mind! It's only a mile and a half away from M. D. Anderson Cancer Center and they have a shuttle service so we don't have to worry about paying for parking downtown every day. We are going to Houston this Sunday so we can be sure to be on time at the hospital Monday morning at 7:30 a.m. Mike has three appointments that day and will continue for the next few days with more tests. By the end of the week the doctor will check all the reports and make his recommendation. Mike may be admitted right away or we might be given the weekend off before being admitted the next week. The doctor also could tell us that Mike doesn't qualify for any trial in which case, we'll be heading back to San Antonio. Mike will go into our hospital for about a month so they can "throw the kitchen sink" at him to try to keep him going. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

My son Ryan was doing pretty good but has had another bad suicidal depression episode. He called me Monday while I was at our hospital with Mike while he got a blood transfusion. Ryan wanted me to come home and take him to the psych hospital. What a dilemma! I had to keep Ryan on the phone while I calmed him down and convinced him to take a nap until we got home. By the time he woke up, he was feeling better, sober, and decided to wait until today. He's been asleep all day so I may need to take him tonight. I hate it that he'll be an inpatient while we are gone. The detox takes about 5 days. Neither of my daughters can afford to come right now so I'll find a friend to go get Ryan once he gets released. I feel awful. I should be here to support him and make sure he gets back for outpatient therapy each day. BUT, I have to be in Houston with Mike.

I've been frantically trying to get all my ducks in a row but a friend suggested I settle for getting all my ducks in the same pond and worry about what order they are in later.

Sandra - if you haven't yet, see about getting on the list for the Rotary House. You have to be an MDA patient but it's lovely, w/piano music in the lobby every afternoon and a covered, overhead walkway to the hospital so you can do a wheel chair from your room to the hospital. I know it's hard to get reservations, but you could walk over there one day when Mike is having tests.

My cousin did stay at that Hampton Inn with her daughter last year and said it was fine. I've stayed at the Wyndham Medical Center and they too have a shuttle.

Sorry to hear about Ryan. Maybe it's better if he stays in the psych hospital for an extra week while you determine the plan for Mike? That way you'll know he's safe.

If civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relationships -- the ability of all peoples, of all kinds, to live together, in the world at peace.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Sandra, I'm speechless. I'm glad Mike's Dr. was candid with you. Anyone can hope and pray for a really big miracle -- they are not un-heard of, but at least you have solid preparation in case the miracle is not supposed to be. I think you are very level-headed and likely in your heart you could sense that the path has many difficulties. We are with you here, every minute full of hope, care, and prayers for needed strength.

Jackie

Sandra - I'll be out of town this weekend but please feel free to call if I can do anything next week. Even if it's just kidnapping you for a quick lunch while Mike is having tests.