Book Club: A Man Called Ove, response questions

Thanks, Fitz. I guess I'll go first.

I didn't finish A Man Called Ove. I only got about 2/3rds of the way through the book before giving up. I didn't like the book, found nothing "hilarious" about it. Typically I find if a book is described as hilarious or laugh-out-loud funny I never find that to be true.

What I didn't like about the story was that Ove is a widower. He spends his days thinking about his late wife, living inside his head and repeatedly trying to commit suicide.

As a Stage IV breast cancer patient all I could think was is this how my husband will be after I'm gone? Disengaged from the world and always looking for a way out of this life?

As a 65 year old woman I was also stunned that the author considered Ove, a man in his 50s, as an old curmudgeon! From my prospective someone who is considered a curmudgeon is probably in their 80s!

Obviously this is an opinion from someone with a terminal illness and who, in her mid-60s, doesn't think 50s is curmudgeon territory.

I love the idea of being part of a book club though. This first book just didn't float my boat.

Kessala

Love the book club idea! Thank you for setting it up.

• I thought the book was well written and it drew you into the story. I wanted to believe that Ove could change, but it was not something I've seen so it seemed like a "Hope Springs Eternal" plot. (I have known men like Ove in my life and in my experience the only thing they change is their underwear and sometimes not even that.) I couldn't really believe that he responded to Parveneh or the other new people in his life. If he hated his best friend for years because of a Volvo purchase, I didn't think he would allow new neighbors to damage his property and somehow get over it, much less become friends. Others who are less jaded might well enjoy the hopefulness of the story.
• His dedication to suicide and the descriptions about how he would try to get the job done were hard to read. For someone who is depressed, this could be a "how to guide" and that stuck with me.
• I liked the young man who had been a student of Ove's wife...it was nice to read about his success after a rough start in school. I really liked his wife's character although she is just in memories. I think a book about her would be good to read.It is true that Life refused to give up Ove and it's true in life that people step in to our lives at the most random times and become our lifesavers. Glad it worked out for him.

• Ove's neighbors were interesting...It was nice to remember how neighbors have been at different points in the past...those wonderful friends you make when young do turn out to be the most cherished friends of all. It showed how hard it is to make new friends and stay connected to the community when you don't have children or do have handicaps. It also showed how difficult it is to keep friends when a husband has such rigid opinions without consideration for his wife. I really liked that his wife had such great friends at work and how she kept up her spirits and stayed engaged in the community despite Ove's approach to life.
• Pets evidently do have the ability to help lonely people stay connected and it's a gift. Still can't picture Ove ever giving in to CAT.
• The ending was a nice way to close it out. 59 was young, but heart disease can do that as can a broken heart or a lifetime of bitterness. I have heard stories of cantankerous people who isolated themselves from the world and never spent a dime while alive leaving behind large estates. That part seemed probable. Happy endings are nice...even though they seem rare.
• I would recommend it to others who have lived with a curmudgeon as there are parts that are very recognizable and funny, but painfully so. It reminded me of the Accidental Tourist in that way. Because it seemed unlikely to me that a man like Ove could actually change, I didn't enjoy it as much as I would have otherwise.
• As far as recommendations for future books, I recently read The Alchemist and Maude and enjoyed them. One of my all time favorites is Farther than Any Man- The story of James Cook, by Martin Dugard.

Interesting thoughts, 50sgirl. I see what you mean about all those failed suicide attempts where Ove rather purposely didn't carry through. It's the fact he obviously thought about, planned and partially completed repeated attempts to kill himself that bothered me. All right already, either die or quit trying.

And all the while I transferred my thoughts to my future widower husband and I simply didn't like or care about Ove anymore.

Kessala

I also read the book. The writing was sweet and pretty simple. Many of the chapters felt like repeats of the story that we had already read, too much the same, so I got kind of bored with it. However, it was easy enough to get through. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it. It was okay. I would probably not recommend it.

I like the message that life wouldn't give up on him, and eventually he found is way back. For some reason I missed his age reference, and for the entire book I pictured him in his 70s or 80s. I'm glad i did, I don't think I could have pictured him younger. One thing I enjoyed and related to were his quirks. My son has Aspergers, and it was kind of nice to see a strange guy, with strange ways, get a nice girl and have a lovely life with her. THAT was my favorite part of the book. I don't think Ove was so much a curmudgeon as a guy with a "different" way of viewing how things should be in the world. Ove was totally an Aspie, not a carmudgeon. I think the writer was mistaken in using that word to define him.

Stefanie

Hi, everyone. What happened to our book club? I have to admit that I forgot to come back here to suggest books for next time. I know that other people had made some suggestions, and there were still some from Fitztwins original post. Some of my friends suggested The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin and The Girl from Everywhere by Heidi Helig. I have to admit that I know nothing about them. I am open to anything because I love to read.

How about everyone else? Do you want to do this again?

Fitztwins, what do you think?

Lynne

A Thousand Splendid Suns sounds good to me

Hello All,

I just finished the book, I'm a little behind. I really loved it immensely. What a wonderful loving man that you wouldn't never guess if you judged him by his gruff manner. As for books, I'm open to anything. "the storied life...." sounds good. Here are some of my favorites:

The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls

Behind the Beautiful Forevers: Life, Death and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity by Katherine Boo

Happy reading!

Kim

Spoilers follow!

Waited to read this topic until I'd read the book...a few thoughts that haven't been voiced -

The story is told third-person, but we're privy to Ove's thoughts and feelings and only witness the actions and words of others.

Point-of-view - I think POV is a weird amalgamation of Ove and Sonia...when he meets new people, he can assigns them to his categories. But when he sees them through Sonia's eyes, he gets a broader perspective. His relationship with cat changes as he integrates Sonia's perspective into his own... kindness and caring emerge.

But, was he really a curmudgeon? His wife called him the "strangest superhero I ever heard about"...she saw potential in him that love unlocked - whether it was their shared martial love, love shared with neighbors or even the photo of the family in a water fight.

We know from the scene in the computer store, that though he changed,his basic approach to others didn't.

Did you find it ironic that he whinges on about "white shirts", yet there's a throw away line that he worked for the "housing authority". He was a white shirt, a paid authority, not just a self-proclaimed or neighborhood authority. He's rule bound, yet rages against rules. An authority who rages against authority.

Did anyone notice or care that the 7-year old never gets a name? Did it bother you too?

Has cinematography so affected our culture that books read like films? Does the author really see life this way? Or did he hope his book would become a film?

Here's the trailer -

Ove being an orphan surely affected him and I think that Sonia was one too. Both Ove and Sonia were motherless children. She healed by channeling it into her work - becoming more like the "good mother". He became his own version of his own "good father". Both valued reliability. And he provided a safe container for her to blossom and grow. He tended her so she could tend her garden of children and plants. Then he tended her pink flowers - against all odds and advice.

And the good mother Parvaneh was able to pull him out when no one else could.

Ove was a superhero who thrived against all odds.

I'm with other readers in our group. I know many of his age and few have so hardened in their ways. Yet, I don't think the suicidal death wish is antithetical to the survival instinct we so identify with. There are good reasons are hearts are here and different reasons they're tugged onward.

Okay, enough noodling! ~ best, Stephanie