No Support system

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LibbyD
LibbyD Member Posts: 25
edited July 2016 in Just Diagnosed

I don't have family, my friends, well, one friend is letting me stay with her because she is a lot closer to where I am being treated, but her husband is rude to me. Other friends don't really talk about it and everyone is busy working. I feel as if I am not important "enough" to anyone. I have to go into a nursing home after surgery because I have nobody that is willing or able to help me afterwards.


I feel very alone and am beginning to wonder why I'm even bothering with treatment.

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  • damaxx
    damaxx Member Posts: 7
    edited June 2016

    I am sorry you are feeling alone. Have you checked around for cancer support groups? Maybe visit a church along the lines of your beliefs? We are all in an unfortunate position and can relate to your feeling down. Some days are better than others Best wishes to you!

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  • ElaineTherese
    ElaineTherese Member Posts: 3,328
    edited June 2016

    Hi!

    I'm sorry that you feel like there is no one out there to help you. Does your cancer center have a nurse navigator? At my center, my nurse navigator (who is a breast cancer patient herself) helps patients with all sorts of things -- finding financial support, getting rides to treatment, straightening out insurance problems, etc.. She also runs the Breast Cancer Support Group, a yoga class, and writes a monthly newsletter. If your center has one, I'm sure she'd try to find you some support so you don't feel so alone. If nothing else, she might be able to refer you to a support group or a counselor, giving you someone to talk to who has been through exactly what you're going through. ((Hugs!))

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  • dtad
    dtad Member Posts: 2,323
    edited June 2016

    LibbyD...Im so sorry you feel so alone. Please feel free to private message me if you would like to talk. This disease is hard enough without feeling alone. Hang in there. We are all here for you. Also it would be a good idea to fallout your stats so we can better understand you.

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  • flaviarose
    flaviarose Member Posts: 442
    edited June 2016

    Hello Libby,

    Your last comment, about wondering why you are bothering with treatment, says to me that this cancer diagnosis has been a wake-up call to you and made you look at your life - and to see that you don't have a support system is depressing. The thing that I want to tell you is that if you are depressed and wondering why you are bothering to try and treat your cancer is that the depression can change. And your life can change. It is hard to see when you are in the midst of things - that something better might be ahead, but it can be, if you are open to finding it. Good luck to you.

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  • Denise-G
    Denise-G Member Posts: 1,777
    edited June 2016

    I'm very sorry you are going through this...it is challenging with tons of support. Many people walk away from cancer patients. It is normal but awful behavior. There are tons of stories like that on these boards! But is it depressing and you want to give up? Absolutely!

    I want to give you a little tip that helped me tremendously. Myself, my mom, and sister were all diagnosed with breast cancer within 3 years. I felt overwhelmed as I practically lived at the cancer center which was 60 miles away for those 3 years. Entering that cancer center, the feelings of "why me" "why us" and "I don't think I can do this" would hit me. I made up my mind that I had to turn it around.

    So my goal was to engage someone in conversation at the cancer center and learn their story. Well, this was the turning point for me as self pity vanished. You would not believe the miracle stories I heard and continue to hear! Many people had no family, but the bonds they formed during cancer treatment changed them in a positive way.

    So PLEASE, I beg you, your life can be good and worth living! Look for those cancer support groups, contact that nurse navigator, and engage strangers in conversation. You won't be sorry!!

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  • 70charger
    70charger Member Posts: 963
    edited June 2016

    stay close to the computer, log in here & u will never be alone. You will get all the support u will need from the ladies on here. I had no support, not one ph call to ask how I was doing. I did have a friend that called every 3 months. He was genuine in caring how I was. People that I knew for 30 yrs never called. For day to day & dark times support I got it all from here. The ladies on this board truly know how u r feeling & their advice is genuine. Don't leave us & we will band together & get u through it! Huggers Fran

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  • keepsake
    keepsake Member Posts: 59
    edited February 2018

    Hi LibbyD,

    First, I'm sorry you have breast cancer and don't have much support, but happy you found this site. There are many kind, knowledgable women here to help you deal with your fears and offer suggestions on how to cope with and get through your upcoming treatment as many have done in situations similar to yours. You are not alone in having a limited support system during this time and definitely worth all your efforts to regain your health. Please feel free to private-message (PM) me to talk. You'll be in my thoughts

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  • 786tex
    786tex Member Posts: 42
    edited June 2016

    Hi Libby - my heart goes out to you as so many times in my life I have felt alone with no one to help. I am not usually a sharing person and tend not to tell people what is going on in my life......may be the reason I have no friends....but I did discover that sharing my diagnosis with people I knew (co-workers, hairdresser, etc.) brought out the best in people and people I never would have expected offered to help with what they could. I think the idea about the oncology nurse and seeking out a support group are great ideas but also know that you can find support online here as well. I joined the March 2016 chemo group and it has been such a great experience and way to share the frustration we are all going through in this process. Please feel free to send me a private message if you need someone to chat with. I would be happy to help out in any way I can.

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  • msphil
    msphil Member Posts: 1,536
    edited June 2016

    we are here for u sweetie continue to be apart of us here.msphil idc stafe 2 0\3 nodes Lmast chemo rads 5yrs on tamoxifen.

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  • bethanygb1
    bethanygb1 Member Posts: 31
    edited July 2016

    We need a private FB group for just diagnosed. Anyone up for it? I am afraid to tell anyone but my sister. I just called her and now wondering what do I do next.

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