Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

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Sjacobs146
Sjacobs146 Member Posts: 770
edited June 2016 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

I just learned that someone I know has been diagnosed with a recurrance, only a year after completing treatment. I feel like there is a cloud over my head, and that a recurrance is inevitable. I am actually starting to wish that the docs find something, just so I can get past it. This is completely crazy thinking, I know. I certainly don't want to go through surgery, chemo and rads again. Why am I feeling this way?

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  • BarredOwl
    BarredOwl Member Posts: 2,433
    edited May 2016

    Hi Sjacobs146:

    I am sorry you are struggling with recurrence fears. I find the fears wax and wane. Even with relatively favorable odds, just reading on here about recurrence in a person with similar stats/treatment to me can push my fear factor way up. Dealing with fears and uncertainty is a major challenge we face. Although one person's experience is anecdotal in nature, it uncomfortably illustrates to me that population-based statistics do not predict individual outcomes. The safety blanket of favorable odds is unceremoniously ripped off for a time, throwing me back into the pool of uncertainty and fear of the shoe--at least for a time. Actually knowing a person who has just suffered a recurrence makes the possibility very real and more personal to you. Hopefully your "crazy thinking" will subside with the shock of this news.

    Best,

    BarredOwl

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  • Sjacobs146
    Sjacobs146 Member Posts: 770
    edited June 2016

    thanks for your wise words BarredOwl. I hope that as the years pass I think of it less and less.

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  • Unbreakable01
    Unbreakable01 Member Posts: 153
    edited June 2016

    I can empathize with you. I celebrated my one year since diagnosis at the end of may. Then on a support group I'm in somebody with a similar diagnosis 5 years out has a recurrence.

    The stats are in my favor, however they were supposed to be before I got diagnosed. I thought the same thing, let it recur so I get it out of the way, but I don't want to go through it again.

    A few days ago I found two tiny lumps near my old tumor. I pray it's nothing.

    The emotional and mental part of this disease is difficult. I don't want to expend my energy worrying so I just have to be positive, pray, and keep the faith.

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited June 2016

    Unbreakable .................and see your doc about the two tiny little lumps?.... :)

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  • Unbreakable01
    Unbreakable01 Member Posts: 153
    edited June 2016

    Sas I have an appointment on the 14th, that's the earliest appointment.

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  • BarredOwl
    BarredOwl Member Posts: 2,433
    edited June 2016

    Unbreakable:

    Sorry to hear this. Hoping for some benign fat necrosis.

    BarredOwl

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited June 2016

    Good undbreakable, I will call you Arcoroc :)

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