Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Sjacobs146

I just learned that someone I know has been diagnosed with a recurrance, only a year after completing treatment. I feel like there is a cloud over my head, and that a recurrance is inevitable. I am actually starting to wish that the docs find something, just so I can get past it. This is completely crazy thinking, I know. I certainly don't want to go through surgery, chemo and rads again. Why am I feeling this way?

BarredOwl

Hi Sjacobs146:

I am sorry you are struggling with recurrence fears. I find the fears wax and wane. Even with relatively favorable odds, just reading on here about recurrence in a person with similar stats/treatment to me can push my fear factor way up. Dealing with fears and uncertainty is a major challenge we face. Although one person's experience is anecdotal in nature, it uncomfortably illustrates to me that population-based statistics do not predict individual outcomes. The safety blanket of favorable odds is unceremoniously ripped off for a time, throwing me back into the pool of uncertainty and fear of the shoe--at least for a time. Actually knowing a person who has just suffered a recurrence makes the possibility very real and more personal to you. Hopefully your "crazy thinking" will subside with the shock of this news.

Best,

BarredOwl

Sjacobs146

thanks for your wise words BarredOwl. I hope that as the years pass I think of it less and less.

Unbreakable01

I can empathize with you. I celebrated my one year since diagnosis at the end of may. Then on a support group I'm in somebody with a similar diagnosis 5 years out has a recurrence.

The stats are in my favor, however they were supposed to be before I got diagnosed. I thought the same thing, let it recur so I get it out of the way, but I don't want to go through it again.

A few days ago I found two tiny lumps near my old tumor. I pray it's nothing.

The emotional and mental part of this disease is difficult. I don't want to expend my energy worrying so I just have to be positive, pray, and keep the faith.

sas-schatzi

Unbreakable .................and see your doc about the two tiny little lumps?....

Unbreakable01

Sas I have an appointment on the 14th, that's the earliest appointment.

BarredOwl

Unbreakable:

Sorry to hear this. Hoping for some benign fat necrosis.

BarredOwl

sas-schatzi

Good undbreakable, I will call you Arcoroc