My Surgery is Tomorrow afternoon

KammyMN · April 2016

Hi - I'm feeling so overwhelmed and frightened right now. Tomorrow, I'm having a bilateral mastectomy. The unknowns are the hardest thing - I have anxiety anyway, so this is just crazy difficult. I'm still learning the acronyms and all that jazz, but thus far I know I have 2 tumors - 1 is IDC and 1 is called microinvasive mammary carcinoma. Because of the location of the two different tumors, lumpectomy was not an option. Because of my anxiety - I've elected to go the route of bilateral with tissue expanders. My nodes will be tested as well. Life has been more than a little crazy around here lately - we have 3 children - 2 of whom are on the autism spectrum, and it's been so challenging for them to deal with this and for any type of change in their routines/life. Then, my husband fell off a ladder on Sunday and broke his leg. Now, my surgery tomorrow. I turned 49 on Monday, and now I have horrible anxiety about this beast spreading or being everywhere. Does anyone else have experience with these awful feelings? Is there any advice from those that have walked this path about how to deal with some of this? Many thanks - I'm grateful for this group and for the opportunity to learn from and with you all!

rainnyc · April 2016

Kammy, deep breaths. And remember that once you show up at the hospital, other people take over, and all you have to do is be there. Who is staying with your children? Do you have family? Friends? And who will be there for you tomorrow? It's a long surgery: will someone be there all day?

I have no wisdom except to say that it takes a while to process all of this, and it won't happen by tomorrow. You'll be okay. Your job now is to take care of yourself. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

AmyQ · April 2016

Dear Kammy,

You have every right to be anxious and scared. This is a life-changing event. I am sorry you have to go through this, but once surgery is behind you and you learn more about the properties of the tumor(s) your oncologist and you can make an informed decision on your next treatment. The uncertainty is one of the most difficult parts of the entire experience. If throughout your next several weeks/months you receive a recommendation that sounds questionable, question it. Get a second or third opinion if needed.

Just after my BMX my onc asked if I thought I was depressed or anxious. My first reaction was no, but my DH jumped in and said yes, rightfully so, therefore I was given Lorazepam which I have taken and has helped me cope through many many difficult days and nights. Please do not be afraid to express your anxiety, worries, doubts, etc. Your care team is there to treat all of you, not just the cancer part.

Prayers for you tonight...try to sleep if you can. PM me if you have any questions about anything. I assume you live in MN which is where I am, so I can even simply offer support or a shoulder, I will.

Amy

KammyMN · April 2016

Thank you for your words of encouragement. Yes, my mom is staying with us for the week, and caring for our children. My husband will be with me tomorrow, and we have extended family willing to come and help out beyond that as needed. Just trying to prepare as best I can - emotionally this is a tough one.

Paxton29 · April 2016

Hi--I had my BMX in December. Having always been healthy, I was afraid of surgery, but mostly the anesthesia part. Luckily all went well. Right now is the scary, overwhelming time--you won't know exactly what you're dealing with until you get your surgical pathology report. And yeah, it's not fun adjusting to the reality of a permanent change to your body, but you will. I too am on the young side for BC so I know how you feel about that too!

You and your family have a lot on your plate right now. How awful that your husband is suffering and out of commission too! I hope you will have some help at home. I definitely needed my husband to help me out of bed for a while, monitor my meds, etc.

Best of luck to you tomorrow--keep us posted! It helps me always when I'm scared to remember there are a lot of brave ladies who've been through everything you're going through, and you and I can do it too.

Edit--I see you will have family help--that's great!

Kawigirl1260 · April 2016

Kammy, as others have said, take those deep breaths. And focus on yourself. My surgery is in May and that's going to be the hardest thing for me to do. You sound like a very caring and giving person, so take this time to care for yourself. Others will want to help. Let them. It will help them as much as it helps you.

And, remember, you're not alone in this. You are part of a team. Take everything one step at a time. I know that the unknown can cause your thoughts to run wild and create all kinds of "what if" scenarios. When that happens, remember to breathe. It has helped me to write down my questions so I won't have to remember them when I talk with my medical team. In fact, my surgeon has started to ask me, "so, what questions do you have today?"

Do what the surgical team tells you so that you'll heal well. And, if you're not sure about something, ask questions. And do remember the options for second opinions.

One thing that has helped for me to keep in mind is that thousands of women go through this very situation every year. So, you're in good company. Talk with other women. Visit this website and it's discussion boards. Some wonderful, caring, knowledgeable women hang out here.

Peace to you and good luck with your surgery. Keep breathing......................

KammyMN · April 2016

Than you all for the support and wisdom. Surgery is complete and sadly, we know at least one node tested positive, and tomorrow we'll learn more when the full pathology report comes back. I'm so very sad - obviously having hoped the the nodes had tested clean. I'm a bit of a wreck - just waiting to hear "what else". My bad news just seems to keep coming and coming . . .

AmyQ · April 2016

Hi Kammy,

Well, I don't know what to say about the node but I will keep my fingers crossed it was the only one. I'm happy too that your surgery is behind you. Where did you have it done, if you don't mind me asking. I'm in Minnesota too so it's always nice to hear the good and the bad.

Take care and relax, do what you can, when you feel you can and pray for the best.

Amy

KammyMN · April 2016

my surgery was at United with Dr. Bretzke & Dr. Migliori was my plastic surgeon. I'm being discharged today, and she said she would call me with the pathology results this afternoon. Dr. Zander will be my oncologist at Abbott. I'm just so sad about this lymph node spread and what that will entail. Hoping it's just the one but at this point my luck isn't playing in my favor much at all

Jacklin · April 2016

Hi KammyMN, I am sorry I didn't see this post until now, well past your surgery day. You've had a lot of your plate this last week with your husband breaking his leg. You sound like a loving wife and mother, know that your Mom will do her very best while she's with you - I am so glad that she can be there for you. As many others have said, take those deep breaths, especially when you get the pathology report this afternoon. I'll be thinking of you, lots. Gentle hugs for you. Be strong and know that we're all here, wanting to support you as much as possible.

AmyQ · April 2016

Kammy,

Dr Migliori is the BEST!!! He ended up being my last PS after firing my first "Dr. McDreamy" - he was handsome and he knew it and I always felt this got in the way of his being a good PS - instead he was good at BS.

Anyway, so happy you had a great team. Now heal up and get back to living. Btw, I will keep praying you do get good news...one node and that's it.

You have a family waiting for you.

Amy

KammyMN · April 2016

Hi Amy - I just adore Dr. Migliori too! He's a bright spot in this murky journey to be sure. Sadly, my news has been anything but positive, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all as I struggle to make sense of what's happening in my life, new acronyms, etc. In a nutshell, my pathology results came back, and the 2 smallish tumors they thought I had was actually one huge 10 cm tumor. Between that, and the fact that 2 of 16 nodes tested positive, I am now officially stage 3. The tumor again tested Estrogen/Progesterone positive and HER2 negative, and my surgeon shared with me without a doubt I will be facing a long road of chemotherapy and then radiation. Also, she explained that this means I will also need a PET scan this week to rule out other major spread, and that now has me very anxious as my luck haven't been especially great of late. I've been referred to a well respected oncologist in our area - Dr. Zander - and will be meeting with him next week after the PET results come in to discuss next steps. Any words of wisdom or advice at this challenging time are most welcome. I'm grateful for the support I've already received and that this resource exists as I feel so overwhelmed and deeply saddened with all I have learned thus far.

AmyQ · April 2016

Kammy

I'm terribly sorry the news continues to be bad but hopefully the PET will finally provide positive news.

I don't know Dr Zander but Minnesota has a lot of great physicians so I'm pretty sure you'll be in very good hands. You're right about new terminology and procedures you're not familiar with but if you trust your care team, then you're world will start to make sense again. I'll continue to pray for you and your family and hope that the treatment you receive is effective.

Please stay in touch and let me know if you have any questions.

Amy

msphil · April 2016

my prayers go out to u sweetie n im sending u HUGS!!!!!!! it maybe hard to sleeo but know we are praying n pulling for u. msphil. idc stage2 and0\3 nodes Lmast chemo and rads n 5yrs on tamoxifen.