My daughter just diagnosed with IDC

Good afternoon,

My 50 year-old daughter has just been diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma & I am so relieved to find this site. I am an RN. I have been reading here & found so much information.

My daughter is divorced, lives with her fiancé & has a 12 year-old son. There is no close family. We have a good, loving mother-daughter relationship. My daughter is intelligent & independent. Last week she called me to tell me she had "lesions" on both breasts & was going for biopsies. She was calm & talked "matter-of-fact," like this was no big deal. I wanted to go with her to be supportive & in case she did not feel well after the biopsies. She said, "No." She wanted to go alone & would be fine. One breast had cysts, non-cancer, were drained. The other breast had 3 small lesions, she had to wait 2 days for the biopsy results. When she got home after the biopsy, she was very tired. I presume the tension of it all. She called me right when she got home to tell me all went well.

The biopsy of one breast came back Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. She called me right when she found out. She said the radiologist was optimistic, as her cancer was "estrogen receptor positive & good for hormone therapy." The radiologist also told her to not go looking on the internet…but I did. However, I do realize that one can become overwhelmed by researching the internet BEFORE seeing the doctors.

My daughter will have an MRI next week. She did not know why she was having the MRI or in what location. Again, she is calm, stating the facts.

At the end of next week she has an appointment with the surgeon, oncologist, radiologist...meeting with them at the same time, as a group. When I heard this, I told my daughter I really wanted to go with her to this appointment. To not say, "No." She said "No." That she would be fine. I explained she would be receiving a lot of information from 3 doctors in a short amount of time. That it is always helpful to have another person there to listen. Nope. She wanted to go alone. She would bring a notebook. I further discussed that most people have another accompany them to doctor visits & procedures.

I have remained calm & supportive with my daughter. I have no idea of the extent of the surgery. I presume that during the surgery, the surgeon will be doing more testing…lymph nodes, etc. Who knows how extensive the surgery will be, or not?

I have helped my daughter through life crises before. She always calls when it gets too much for her. This time? Presently, she wants to go it alone. I would say she is in denial…shock. This is healthy too. Protective. I need to wait until it all becomes reality for her. As for me, I have been going through the gamut of emotions, scenarios. And I admit, it would be helpful to me too, to be included in her treatment, from day 1. Basically, my daughter only has me. Thank you.