Emotional After Effects

KellyAnne13 - You are not alone. There are many articles out there that talk about PTSD and breast cancer and really just cancer in general. I believe I had it. Certain events or situations would trigger it. I would just start crying around my girlfriends. I would go to the oncologists office for check ups and just shake and cry. Dr said it is something similar to PTSD, and I believe that. Its very hard to go through what all us women have gone through and try to accept the fact that this is our "new norm". Always wondering about recurrence is what haunts me, but over the past year it has really gotten better, I think about it less and less and just live in the moment, at least try. It never ends, but you have to force yourself to move forward and enjoy your time, don't let cancer win! If you can't do it on your own I would recommend medication to help you through on a short term basis. Hang in there and good luck!

Hi Kelly - looking at your signature I can see some signs that might make your recovery even tougher. The dx of course, the chemo, but on top of that the ooph. I was three years in when I had an ooph and that put me in another tailspin. Some days I felt (feel) like I'm already dead, or I might as well be. We are emotionally beautiful, hormonally beautiful beings and when that gets overturned it is hard to find the new normal. Have you had a chance to speak to a counselor or mentor about all you are feeling? I met with a lady from my church who also happened to be a social worker. She had no solutions for me but she was a welcome outlet for all my thoughts and feelings. This gave my poor husband a break as well.

Kelly - anything you think or feel is "normal". That old Kelly is gone, she is not coming back, the veil has been torn, however the new Kelly is just waiting to struggle out of her cocoon and show the world her wings. Hmmm, definitely an Easter theme going here. You ARE going to get back to a place of inner peace, joy, and happiness. I promise. It takes time. That time is different for all of us.

Meds do help. I take 75 mg of Effexor and it seems to balance out the rough patches. Maybe try to do something each day that makes you feel good. As much as I loathe getting on the treadmill most days, I always feel invigorated when I'm done. Working out those old endorphins are good for the body and the soul.

Hey Kelly - I'm a different person too. I pretty much do what I want these days. If I want to read a little longer I do, all that other "noise" can wait. And I have amassed a barn yard of nonjudgmental, always crazy, always loving pets. That makes me happy. Look inside yourself and see what makes you happy.

BIG hug. PM me anytime.

kelly, as others have said, it is "normal" and affects us all at different levels, just like the SE's of TX. It's too bad this isn't addressed close to the end of our TX or at least acknowledged by our medical teams. I think the surprise of the emotional SE's is hard in itself to deal with; I expected to be going my merry little way and put BC on the back burner after TX was over....NOT. It took me about a year and a half after DX to finally feel like the dark cloud was gone and I could move on. .Hang in there. You've been through a lot.... And, if you need counseling or meds to get there, consider them. Journaling also helped me...and, this forum for sure!

Hi Kell -

Thank you SO MUCH for starting this thread and sharing what's going on. I have really been struggling the last few weeks after finishing rads - I can't think or focus very well and I'm an emotional train wreck. I can go from "fine" to major anxiety to dark depression to anger and then bounce around among all of them, all within the space of an hour. I feel like I'm losing - correction - have lost my mind and it's never coming back. And then I just want to give up. I am so tired of fighting and dealing and feeling so incapable of living. I am on a break until mid-April when ovarian shut down and AI start (oh goody). So right now I'm not on any meds at all, and my last chemo was Dec 21, so all these things I'm feeling can't be due to current treatment.

Amidst all of this, it is very very reassuring to know that I am not alone and that lots of BC peeps seem to go through something like this after treatment ends. So, you are not alone either - right this minute, I am literally right there with you.

For the rest of you who posted and who seem to be further along the recovery road, thanks for the encouraging words and hope for things to be better.

Kim

Hi all, I appreciate this thread, because I have been miserable! I hate to be a downer with my fam and friends, so I have been isolating

I'm 2-1/2 years out from the end of treatment and am sad that I still am not functioning well. I am on an aromatase inhibitor and antidepressants. I regularly see a therapist and a psychiatrist. I am fatigued and nothing seems to help the depression and anxiety. I was just diagnosed with lymphedema. My joint pain from estrogen suppression is constant. It's hard to walk my dog, and I miss that so much