Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Sandra, I will be sending positive health vibes to you and Mike. I cannot imagine how frightening what lies ahead is for both of you, especially Mike. I know a woman who has survived two bone marrow transplants and has extended her life quite a few years. She is now enjoying their only daughter's two young children.

Anne, the new little grand daughters will be coming into a world with a loving grandmother. That's a given.

I played golf this morning, went grocery shopping at Walmart, and then went shoe shopping at Sports Academy. I brought home two pairs of athletic shoes. My intention is to put each pair on and walk around to check for comfort. Right now, though, my "crippled" left foot hurts too much for more walking around. The New Balance shoes I've been wearing as golf shoes are about worn out.

My golf game was better today. I'm feeling encouraged.

Greetings to everyone.

So glad to hear, my "surgery buddy". Nice to see you on the boards again. Sorry you went through some concerns it sounds like! Hugs!

Sandra - holding you both in my thoughts. Keep in touch when you can.

Sandra, Praying for the best of outcomes for you and Mike.

Sandra - think of you and Mike.

Enjoyevrymoment - glad you are on. Is all well with you.

Weather is supposed to be nice this weekend so it will be time for me to begin weeding beds. This year I'm determined to do it without getting into any poison ivy. Last year I was especially watchful and ended up with it anyway. I will be on high alert.

Just watched news that said Astronaut Kelly has come back taller. I guess that is the only way I would be able to get taller. Not happening

Reading posts of those with stages I-VI going through the hell of chemo. I have felt guilt since I found out mine is only DCIS with no nodes involved. Is that kind of likesurvivor's guilt?

Cactus Pearl, welcome, although I'm sorry you find yourself a member of the 'club' Jackie said it so well. The dx of BC at any stage is traumatic and frightening. I hope you don't continue to feel guilty. You were caught early and I am happy for you. We are all 'caught' at different stages, and some of us have a tougher row to hoe than others. This forum is a place where we can offer each other empathy, compassion, support and encouragement. Here is where we can share our fears and experience and form friendships with wonderful, strong women who are living the best life possible in difficult times. Hugs

My whole attitude to life is spiritual--a feeling of
identification with all nature, all mankind, all life,
the whole of the past, the whole of the future.

Fenner Brockway

Hi Cactus

Welcome. I imagine what you are feeling is somewhat like survivors guilt, which is also misplaced guilt. We have no control over who survives a wreck or crash, and we have no control over who gets cancer, what type or stage it is when diagnosed and no crystal ball to tell us what to do or how to handle it. I was stage IIIb and had Her2+. If tha wasn't enough, I had triple the amount per cell than most people had. But, by the grace of God, I had excellent care and have been cancer free since Jan 2014. My amazing Dr's chose to do chemo before surgery, so I was actually cancer-free for my mastectomy and radiation.

That said, I agree with Jackie and Stella- a caNcer diagnosis is one of the scariest things you will ever face. And having been part of this group for two years now, I've learned that while the actual diagnosis might differ, the emotions and fears don't. It is not so much the accurate diagnosis as much as it is the word Cancer. I took my son, daughter and son-in-law to my first Dr's visit because I already knew it was cancer, aNd knew I wouldn't hear or retain anything the Dr said. She was nice enough to draw pictures which days later, my daughter explained them to me.

We are a group that supports each other, whatever way needed, whenever it is needed. You are part of this group, not because of , again, what your specific diagnosis is, but because you have joined us on the cancer planet. If you hang around, you will find cancer is the glue that stuck us together, but it is the genuine caring for each other that makes that glue stick. We talk about cancer when needed,but we also talk about families ( good or bad), traveling, gardening, golf, birdwatching, crafts, cooking, the weather, and sometimes what's on the news. We try to stay away from politics and religion, although both come up occassionally, but more as interesting topics rather than personal beliefs.

Just to get you started feeling like you know us, I am a 66 yr old widow in Ft Lauderdale. I lost my husband of 42 years in Aug 2012 to complications of long term diabetes. I have 5 children, three biological and two adopted. More importantly I am the grandmother of six at the moment, the oldest is 17, the youngest will be three in June and just got a big girl bed two nights ago. Sometime this month my seventh grandchild will make her appearance and sometime in June, another little girl is arriving. My oldest daughter lives near Atlanta with my two oldest grandsons, my oldest son lives in SC with my youngest granddaughter. My other 3 kids live in Ft Laud, one lives with me and her 13 yr old son. So I travel frequently between here and Atlanta with road trips to my son from Atlanta. I travel so often that when friends or family call me on my cell, their first question always is : where are you?

Obviously, family is every thing to me, and my personal commitment is to be with each grandchild on their birthday. I am very blessed that each of my children and their spouses welcome me whenever I can be there, for as long as I want.

Other than family, my favorite thing to do is reading - I read all the time and have since I was in fourth grade. My newest passion is coloring. I thought, as did my other kids, that a coloring book and 12 colored pencils was a crazy gift from my daughter-in-law for Christmas, especially when I heard her mother got jewelry. I thought it would be a gift that ended up on my closet shelf, but one day I opened it up. I now color every night, have at least twelve books, and have gotten my 10 and 7 year old grandchildren involved as well.

I can say that as a group, we are sorry you have cause to join us, but we welcome you with open arms and will be here when you need it. By the way, venting your anger, or fear, or frustration that you don't feel comfortable giving voice to with your family or friends is totally acceptable here. We will listen, we will confirm throughour own stories that you are not alone, and we will not judge.

Wow - I got thru that with no hesitations on my keypad! Maybe my computer fixed itself. Yay!

Anne

Lew and I had planned on driving to Minneapolis this weekend to visit my dad and attend the annual Marscon Convention. Instead we're staying home and nursing colds, thanks to the young man who rode with us to Roseau last weekend and coughed and sneezed and blew his nose in our car the entire trip. I sent him an email this morning and told him in the future to remember that his actions have consequences for others.

Without forgiveness, we remain tethered to the person who harmed us.
We are bound with chains of bitterness, tied together, trapped.
Until we can forgive the person who harmed us,
that person will hold the keys to our happiness; that person will be our jailor.
When we forgive, we take back control of our own fate and our feelings.
We become our own liberators.
Forgiveness, in other words, is the best form of self-interest.
This is true both spiritually and scientifically.
We don't forgive to help the other person.
We don't forgive for others.
We forgive for ourselves.

Desmond Tutu

Success

They have achieved success
who have lived well,
laughed often, and loved much;
who have enjoyed the trust of
pure men and women,
the respect of intelligent people and
the love of little children;
who have filled their niche and accomplished their tasks;
who have left the world better than they found it
whether by an improved poppy,
a perfect poem or a rescued soul;
who have never lacked appreciation of Earth's beauty
or failed to express it;
who have always looked for the best in others and
given them the best they had;
whose lives were an inspiration;
whose memory a benediction.

--Bessie Anderson Stanley, 1904

Election day here in Louisiana. I went by the polling place after I got all sweaty at the gym with my hair in wet strings! As usual there wasn't a line for my precinct though there was a line for the other precinct. This state has closed primaries so if you're a registered Democrat, you get to vote for a Democratic presidential candidate. If you're Republican, you vote for a Republican candidate. If you Independent, you don't vote.

It's a pretty, sunny day. DH is at the golf course and I have a peaceful house to myself. I plan to spend some time in the kitchen, starting tomorrow's dinner at my mother's house. I'm making beef stew with veggies. Today I'll cook the beef until it's almost tender. Tomorrow I'll add small potatoes, carrots and onion quarters. I'll also make cauliflower mash and a tossed salad tomorrow. My mother will cook rice in her rice cooker.

Today I also plan to make a batch of stuffed colored bell peppers with ground turkey, brown rice and other ingredients. I'll freeze the extras for future meals. My WW eating plan is going well. I consider getting my weight back under control a birthday present to myself. Another present will be a vacuuming robot called a Rumba. My birthday is next Tues., March 8th.

Happy Saturday to all.

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experiences of trial and suffering
can the soul be strengthened,
vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.
- Helen Keller

Fourth day of Mike's pre-transplant heavy chemo regimen and he hasn't had one moment of nausea or any other side effect. He is half way through. They are giving him 2 kinds of chemo plus 8 other meds. So far, so good. He will get the bone marrow stem cells on Thursday. It's a wonderful facility...only 8 patients currently for 10 rooms. There's always 10 nurses on duty plus various medical assistants and 3 doctors. Mike has a good appetite and goes to the in-unit gym every morning. The nurses say next week he won't be so chipper but marvel at his good attitude and absence of complaints.