Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

IllinoisLady

Good morning,

Great morning here -- a little catch but I'm not actually minding. It is warm with great sunshine and weatherman says 75 today. This has in the past come in Februarys past. Later, it might help usher in some night time rain, but how can I care with such a glorious day --- our BIG, big taste of Spring.

I didn't chime in for Wren since I'm not much of a decorator either. My style is -- doesn't much matter if I can afford it. That said, I do think getting the extra chair in green is likely what I'd do. I do feel like some contrast that pulls in with the other 'like' room pieces would be nice. I watch HGTV and always wish the Property Brothers would find their way to my house and just "do it all over" the right way. Keep look out the window but no ones shows.

Got to run for now and do kitties, but hopefully will get back here.

Jackie

carolehalston

Good morning, all. I think the best rule for decoration is to pick out colors and designs that you can live with. I might enjoy looking at a room with dramatic reds and blacks and whites but I know I wouldn't want a room like that in my home. I tend to like sea colors, greens and blues and aquas but I also like earth colors. Two houses ago I worked with a decorator when we were building our dream house and I learned some things from her. She advised choosing neutrals for permanent things like bathroom fixtures and flooring and getting in the color and design with things that can be changed like paint and wall paper, which was "in" at that time. Wall paper goes "in" and "out."

I want to re-paint our master bathroom when I work up the initiative. It's cranberry red and I will probably go with a blue-green sea color. The fixtures and floor tile are pearl gray so the walls need some color. I wish I had gone with ivory fixtures in this house when we were renovating 20 plus years ago but I was fixated on pearl gray. At least I didn't pick a dark color like my SIL did when they were building their house. She picked hunter green and they eventually had all those fixtures replaced when they were sick of the color.

Back to work cleaning house. :-(

Happy Saturday to all.

IllinoisLady

Wildest Dreams (Taylor Swift) - A cover by Nathan & Eva These young people are a link I have and I so enjoyed listening to them Refreshing after some of hat we hear and see the younger crowd doing.

Jackie

MinusTwo

Nice music duo Jackie.

ritajean

Welcome back Teacher. I am so sorry to hear about your health issues but am glad that you are recovering.

It's good to hear that Illinois is getting some warm temps...even if you have to cope with the acccompanying winds.

We had a great day today. We took the boat over to Cayo Costa island and went shelling on a part of the beach that is more isolated. We found a lot of shells and then sat for awhile with the waves coming in from the Gulf and just read. We tried some saltwater fishing on the way back in. Dave caught a couple of hammerhead sharks and I caught a grouper but we threw them back in. We love grouper but this one wasn't quite large enough to keep and I think they are out of season here. We need to do a little more research about that before we go out again on the Gulf.

Carole...I love the blue-green colors also when decorating. They are so peaceful and calming.

We have kept busy with the socials, golfing, fishing and our boating excursions. It is hard to believe that we are on the downward slide of our Florida stay.

Hope everyone is doing well!

sandra4611

I vote for the first one, the turquoise. I would do the sofa in a solid color but two nice club chairs in the print. Too much of a solid color looks dated. But what do I know? I'm not a decorator and even when I watch the shows on TV, I have a hard time appreciating some of the choices made by the professional decorators.

IllinoisLady

Miracles are instantaneous, they cannot be summoned, but come of themeselves, usually at unlikely moments and to those who least expect them.
- Katherine Anne Porter

sandra4611

Several friends that we haven't seen in years have suddenly found a reason to come to San Antonio. Of course Mike knows the real reason is they are coming to see him because he could die soon, but we are enjoying the reunions just the same. Yesterday we had a visit from a delightful young couple we met on a cruise a few years ago. Even though they are younger than our kids, we just "clicked." They live about 6 hours away in the Dallas area, so even though this IS Texas and we are used to driving long distances, it's a little too far for a quick visit. We've settled for frequent contact with Sarah and Brandon via Facebook mostly and enjoyed watching their two boys grow. It was great to see them again in person! My heart was overflowing and I realized they are more like family now. They understand grief in ways most people never do. After years of infertility, they had Abby. When she was a toddler they hired a babysitter and went to dinner, only to come home and find the babysitter asleep and Abby floating face down in the pool. How can you survive such a horrible tragedy? Infertility prevented another pregnancy. After several years they were thrilled to adopt Aaron. Five years later they were shocked to discover Sarah was pregnant with Quentin...a red haired ball of fire! Late last year Sarah got pregnant again but it was a complicated, dangerous high risk pregnancy due to a rare blood incompatibility that prevented nutrients from getting to the baby and the fact that the placenta was directly on her cervix. The docs gave Sarah no chance of delivering and urged them to abort. They looked far and wide to find a high risk OB who would accept Sarah as a patient and give her the daily injections required to give the baby a chance. Finally they found one in Houston, traveled there, began the medication, made plans to move to Houston and found out they were having a baby girl. So bittersweet after losing their little Abby. Just as things were coming together, two weeks ago Sarah miscarried in her fourth month. Such pain in their hearts! But somehow they have survived another tragedy and are still a strong couple. We had a long talk about faith - my lack of it and how their journey through grief changed them. I learned it's ok to be angry with God and perfectly understandable. They've found their way back ...it took a long time, but it happened. I don't know if I'll be that lucky. I'm already so MAD at what we've already gone through the last three and a half years, and overwhelmed by the fact that although I fought through three life-threatening diagnoses, my never-been-sick-before husband is now the target of some weird vendetta. (yes, that's what it feels like) Guess I'll have to wait and see how the bone marrow transplant goes. Eleven days to go. God, if you are there, this is your last chance. I'm not as good a person as Sarah or Brandon.

IllinoisLady

Sandra, hearing you speak about your friends was so touching, so REAL. I'll be praying that the equilibrium they seem to have will continue to grace them. It seems they were "placed" in your life to fill a need. People come into our lives for so many reasons. Maybe, just maybe to help us realize that in our lifetimes we may be asked to carry some really heavy burdens. We can be mad, full of grief, beat up or beat down. But do we keep going???? The desert of pain, fear, anger, depressions, helplessness is huge and majorly un-comfortable. Somewhere in our future is a door -- the way out back into the light. Everyone has their desert periods, but I think it is true. What doesn't kill us eventually makes us stronger. I think ( though I haven't seen it for a long time now ) I had a quote that said something like: I didn't say it would be easy, I said it would be worth it !!!! So, while angry frustration and a sense of why me interspersed with some futility lurks around and seems to want to park next to you forever, little by little, and with and by grace, cracks of light at some point will appear and when they do they will turn into he widest expanse you've ever seen.

I sympathize totally with you in the desert and I am willing to wait with you so I can hear you rejoice when the light returns. Tough times don't last, tough people do.

Jackie

Teacher64

Our previous house had a sea foam green bathroom. I loved it. There was a huge window that left in lots of light, so every morning felt cheerful. Now we have white walls and multi hued neutral range tiles. It is kind of blah and needs some color.

Today was my stepson's birthday. The grandgirls were allowed to ride with Nana and Papa to the restaurant and we enjoyed the non-stop 7 year old conversation, which continued through lunch. They are so,amusing

DeltaLady

I feel your pain and anger, Sandra. My husband has been fighting pancreatic cancer with liver mets for 2 years. A year ago I got breast cancer. It has taken me the full year to "accept" my "new normal." A week ago My husband was taken off treatment because despite chemo, his pancreatic mass has grown and there's a new one in his liver. Although expected eventually, it's a blow when they tell you that's it; no more they can do. Hope all goes well for your husband.

ritajean

Sandra...Keeping you and Mike in my thoughts and prayers! Please keep us updated.

So sorry about all the tragedy that your friends have had to deal with. Wow! I can't imagine losing a child. Our faith is often shaken and tested with situations that just don't seem a bit fair.

IllinoisLady

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

- Scott Adams -

ChiSandy

Sandra & DeltaLady, keeping you and your husbands in my thoughts & prayers.

Carole, before you settle on a bathroom color scheme, check websites for Target, Bed Bath & Beyond and The Company Store for what colors in towels and rugs are available. Years ago, we redid our bathroom in white, pink (so we didn't have to replace or resurface the tub) and seafoam--had no problems coordinating towels & accessories. But over the years--in ALL stores and on ALL sites--pink and seafoam have given way to darker colors like fuschia or maroon and a deeper yellowier celery-or-leaf green--both of which look slightly “off" with our tub & wallpaper (the green not as glaringly as the fuschia). We've been relying increasingly on white towels. We've faced the same dilemma in our bedroom (dusty rose & seafoam) except that sheetmakers seem to be putting out brighter or pale pink and celadon (more bluish) green instead--so that our duvets and linens clash (not merely “don't coordinate"). It's truly a PITA to repaint and repaper, not to mention look for a new tub.

Wren44

Chi Sandy, I know what you mean. But colors last about 7 years, so no matter what you choose it's not going to stay in style. We've gone to white bath towels. I think the thing to do is get duplicate sets when you first decorate so you already have replacements. Sometimes the clear colors are available from LL Bean. Expensive though, but last well.

IllinoisLady

Choose Inner Peace.
Nothing is worth losing your inner peace.
Take action as circumstances require,
but never surrender your inner peace.
Stop. Breathe deeply.
Close your eyes and breathe deeply again.
Then, and only then, take action -
from a peaceful heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anneb1149

Hi everyone

I am reading your posts every day, but for some reason, cannot respond. This is my eighth try in the past week, 4th attempt today. I am going to post this, then try again, so you will know I have not forgotten you- my computers have gone wacky

Anne

bonnets

Annie, A while back I had this problem several times and had to complain, also wasn"t

getting the posts. They finally ironed it out. SO there is hope!

Anneb1149

Thanks for the encouragement Bonnets, but I just lost it again. Too frustrated to try again at this point.

Anne

sandra4611

DeltaLady, oh my, I actually HURT for you! How awful. Tell us more about your dear husband. How has he dealt with his illness? Men do seem to need to do it "their way".

Jackie, you have a gift. You seem to always be able to choose words that will comfort, support, lead, and inspire us. Your comments, especially the one that said you would wait with me while I'm in this desert, were so thoughtful and dearly appreciated.

Anneb1149

Here I am, trying again. Sandra and Delta, I understand what you are going through. I remember sitting in my husband's room, listening to his side of a phone conversation, which was" okay, unhuh, could you repeat that?" And then he said, I am so sorry to ask this but could you repeat everything to my wife? Basically, there was nothing more they could do, so go home and enjoy the time you have left. I think we had about 6 weeks. He hAd such a large goiter in his throat, they couldn't get a breathing tube down to replace the infection damaged aortic valve in his heart, but his heart couldn't survive the surgery to remove the goiter. His health been declining pretty rapidly and although the news was devastating, it was not a complete surprise. Other than my DD coming down for a weekend, allowing us to get one last family picture, we pretty much lived in denial, never talking about it until one night he took my hand and said, "Honey, I am so tired" and I said," I know you aRe". After a very restless night, he paSsed the next morning. I know your situations are very different from mine aNd pray you have a better outcome, Myonly advice is that you each say everything you need to say. Because one day- and I hope it is years away,you will not have the chance to say it at all.

Well that took me 56 minutes to type. I will try to get back on later- my intention was not to be so gloomy. But my keyboard took control again and I just don't have the time or patience to do anymore.

carolehalston

Hi, oldies friends. Jackie must have started her week at work. The rest of us will have to take up the slack and carry on the communication!

DH and I went to a potluck lunch today. All the cardiac rehab "graduates" gather for this event once a year. I took a chicken salad. There was lots of food, a good variety. We enjoyed conversation with the two people who sat closest to us. One was a pretty young woman who has been through rehab twice. Her 2nd cardiac problem surfaced shortly after she gave birth to her third child. She is only 41 years old.

Today started out cold but warmed up. I have the ceiling fan on high speed and the kitchen door is open.

Hope everyone is having a good Thursday.

termite

Hi Ladies,

DeltaLady and Sandra, keeping both of you and your husbands in my thoughts and prayer.

Carole, your potluck sounded like a nice way for people to get to meet. 41 years old is seems so young for cardiac problems but I guess age doesn't matter with that disease either.

Today is cold and windy but at least we did not get the snow storm that was predicted.

DH and I both had dentist appts today. Mouth is sore but only have to go back for a cleaning in March unless we have problems. We received a picture of our house yesterday. The outside has been painted, roof is on, drywall is up and tile is laid.Bath tub is in the extra bathroom and cabinets were to be hung this week along with driveway and sidewalks being put in. We ordered our furniture. hopefully it is want I pictured when doing this.

Hope everyone is having a good day.

ritajean

Oh termite! How exciting! It sounds like your house is "moving right along."

I missed Jackie's quotes on the Illinois ladies site and was hoping that she was OK and just working some longer hours. I don't get on everyday here, depending on what is on our schedule. Yesterday was a very windy day that did not lend itself to boating, fishing, or golfing, so we drove up to the Port Charlotte area and explored Stump Pass Beach State Park, Gasparillo Island, and Boca Grande. We had never been there so it was interesting. Dave took his metal detector that I bought him for Christmas. He had a ball on the beach. He found 43 cents, a fish hook, a padlock, beer cans, and many beer tabs. Maybe in a couple of years he will have found enough of value to pay for the batteries!

Today is a fishing day on the causeway at Sanibel. We are moving rather slowly this morning!

I hope everyone is having a good day!

Rita

IllinoisLady

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with our old nonsense."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

IllinoisLady

Well hi everyone. It is nice to be back on. I was so confident about having my computer here but only just got it a few minutes ago. I was told where the router was here but I couldn't find it. So Dh came over to look but he had trouble too --- and later thought he had it. Turns out he was wrong so the next time I talked to Dr. B he told me the exact place. In plain sight had anyone thought to go into the special utility room. So, today I was finally able to get things going. Sure feels good to talk to every one again. The withdrawals were getting miserable.

Anne you sound like you don't have withdrawal syndrome quite so bad as I, but still frustrating --- just as much I imagine to "expect" to use a device that should function fully and it doesn't. I sure hope you are able to 'find' and fix the issues. I dealt with so many odd things and then finally gave up and bought a subscription from Microsoft and any time any little upset shows its very unattractive face I call them and some nice person fixes it all for me.

I can't go back but hope I gave you a warm welcome hello Delta Lady.

Termite, your house sounds like it is taking shape really nicely. I'd be sort of excited, but then most of the time I see changes like you are making as a great adventure.

It is 80 degrees in Puerto Rico -- oooh sounds nice. Tuesday ( when my employers left ) it was pretty nice here. The next day the wind was blowing ( gusting up to 55 mph. ) and snowing like everything. Despite the fact it snowed all day --- I think a lot of it got blown elsewhere as we didn't get that much on the ground. It is staying between 35 and 39 so will slowly melt -- what little came down which ended up more slush than anything. I'll be glad when its gone though. I was ready not to have anymore.

Anyway, lots of mail to deal with so I'll see you all later.

Blessings and hugs,

Jackie

carolehalston

Jackie, it's good to have you check in. We were experiencing "Jackie Withdrawal"!!!

ritajean

So glad you checked in, Jackie! We missed you!

stellamaris

Hello everyone from Vancouver. Dx at 65, so I will join you if I may. Bless you.

IllinoisLady

Welcome STELLAMARIS. Our door is open always. Wish you really didn't need us -- ugg, but we welcome all here. It is a home away from home where all the good ladies understand the journey of a cancer dx. We are good hand holders and listeners. Tend to talk about everything here, but we have formed friendships and see each other through lots of different life events no matter what brought us here. Please come often. Usually someone is here on a daily or almost daily basis. Hoping to see you again soon.

Blessings,

Jackie