metastatic breast cancer stage IV 3 bone mets

Lissalou,I am just now catching up on this thread, and just reading all the comments. I agree wholeheartedly with everything said, including the fact that it will get easier. I was Dx in July stage IV right out of the box, and I had ALL those feeling you are having. (Guilt, thinking I had somehow let my family down and have become a "burden". No point in buying anything for myself, it's a waste of money. Odd being in crowded places and feeling like I didn't belong anymore.) I have found that none of that is true! I belong here as much as any other human, I worked hard my whole life, I deserve to buy nice things or use whatever benefits I can get. I try not to go overboard with the extra bills coming in, but they will be there waiting for probably the rest of my life, so what's the point in stressing about it?

The exact thing can happen to anyone in my family through no fault of their own. 50's girl has said it so well. (So sorry 50"s to hear of your DH having to join this fight as well) But you wrote a very lovely statement about family and how we support and stick by each other. Who cares about gifts or money? It's all about family, friends and time spent together. I would go to the ends of the earth for my DH no matter what. He would do the same for me. Lissalou, You have to forget the 2.5 to 5 years thing! If you dwell on that as truth, when no one really knows in fact, you will rob yourself of ANY kind of life you have today right now.

Yes, I still have moments of sheer panic, sadness, regret blah, blah, blah.....But most days I work full time, cook for my family, just went to The Nutcracker! Your family needs you to be present as much as ever before regardless of your health. You have got to have faith that you will still will realize a ton of those dreams and hopes and wishes. Take one day at timeI

I gotta say Kaymic, that green bananas comment gave me the best laugh of the day!

I've been pretty quiet out here but have to speak up...I am 50, I was diagnosed on November 28 of '14 also have it in both breasts, but two different types, I have 5 mets. My Oncologist said 5 years as well. But now when I have my dark days she tells me that I have responded well to treatment and this is a good sign for a better prognosis. I am stable, my scan report went from a page and a half to less than a full page. Mets are gone or healing. I have 2 sons who are 16 and 14. I live for them. I retired and am learning to live with my new normal. When I was growing up cancer was a death sentence but not anymore, they treat it like a chronic condition. You can do this!

I had a bone biopsy, a CT guided needle one, which they did on my sternum, so I was laying there watching them with a big needle!! They used local anesthetic & while I was nervous, it didn't hurt & we left on a 2 week driving vacation immediately afterward. Because you don't have your diagnosis posted, I'm not sure whether you are stage IV out of the gate or whether this is a recurrence. But either way, they need to know what they are dealing with so they know how to treat it. I'm sure if you tell them that you are diabetic, they can adjust it so that you don't have to fast for 8 hours, I know our hospital has it right on the form that if you are diabetic to call them to discuss.

Of course it's worth it. 4 Children & a good husband, you're worth it! It's very hard at first, but trust me it does get better. When I was told I was stage IV, I thought I was going to die immediately, but then I thought, how can that be when I feel so dang good? The first few months were difficult, but I have gotten over that & decided that I am living my life without cancer stealing one day more than it will. If the best you can do for now is one foot in front of the other, then take that till it gets better & it will. ((hugs)) GG

I'm sorry that you are having a hard time getting some competent answers to your questions. I guess because I have always been treated so well that I just expect that everyone else will be too. I hope that getting mad will get you some answers. If I can help with any other info about a bone biopsy, please don't hesitate to send me a PM or post here. GG

Hi, I think you would not have a great chance of winning a malpractice case. You would have to prove that the delay ( which was only 4 months) caused you harm. It is hard to prove that you became stage 4 during that time. You may have already have been stage 4 in may and the 4 month delay didn't make a difference.

I really do feel for you! I'm so sorry. I'm surprised they said 5 years survival. I was diagnosed in 2011. Been on many different drugs due to them not working or not strong enough. When diagnosed I was already at Stage IV breast cancer and had matasctized to the bones. Been with the same doctor for 5 years and she is very involved in research for breast cancer at our hospital. IHad surgeries to remove ovaries and tubes, thyroid, left breast and tumor removed from spine and now have rods and pins holding spine intact. Currently on tamoxifen and Afinitor daily and every three weeks a 1/2 hour fusion of Herceptin. Luckily I have good insurance and savings. I would never complain about my situation or feel sorry for myself since I know there are others out there fighting even harder than me. They are my heroes! I concentrate on others and other things so I don't think of myself. I'm not strong but I do what I can when I can! I'm terminal and until I feel "terminal" I'm keeping on keeping on. I definitely don't dwell on what the future holds. I have a grandbaby, 3 adult loving kids and a doting and caregiving husband. That's all I need.

Lissalou, I sent you a PM

lissa, I admire your desire to right a wrong. And you're are so right that you did not simply jump from being cancer free to a stage iv diagnosis in a few short months. It's just that I'm am so cynical in believing that a hospital would agree to changing their protocol without a great deal of resistance on their part, and of course, never any admission of error. Is that something you want to devote your energy to? If women had been successful in suing a medical establishment over this type of misdiagnosis, I think we'd hear of it.

Certainly, if you pursue the matter, I hope your efforts bring about change.

Stefajoy, it is great to hear, and I would be interested in learning more about how you successfully sued over a misdiagnosis of breast cancer if you are willing to share.

Reading lissa's posts, she seems to be riding a roller coaster of emotions. That's why I ask about how she wants to spend her energy. Is it worth it her time and effort to file a lawsuit? She must decide for herself.

Lissa, Fwiw, I've just rounded the corner of living with mbc for five, now going into the sixth year dealing with it. I've had a stretch of stability and live a reasonably normal life. No one could say when I was diagnosed how well or poorly I would do with treatment. You simply should not blindly believe the predictions medical professionals give you.

it's kind of a long story, of course. My gyn sent me to an imaging dept. at a hospital when she felt a lump. They did a mammogram and an ultrasound. The mammo was normal and showed nothing (I had dense breasts). The ultrasound showed a little something. The radiologist felt it and told me it was nothng.he actually DiScouraged me from getting a biopsy. Told me we would watch it for six months. Six months later I returned for a follow up ultra sound. Second radiologist said no change from 6 months prior, therefore it is nothing to worry about and I should go back to my yearly mammogram. Six months later I had a mammo, which came back normal. Three months later I felt a second lump.gyn sent me to a breast surgeon, who did an ultrasound and found two large tumors in my breast. So the first guy didn't biopsy, the second guy didn't biopsy AND said it no longer even needed to be observed. The mammo proved fruitless since it never showed anything in the first place. So, my cancer grew and spread for almost a year and a half. , while I thought I was being diligently watched. Major lymph node involvement and bone mets from the get go, a shortened life span and a forever changed quality of life. All it would have taken was a biopsy early on and it most likely would be a different story.

It was never about the money

Stef, my gosh, it makes my heart sink to read about what you went thru, how grossly negligent your case was handled. I can only imagine how you feel about it and it's understandable that you wanted/needed to take steps to: first, expose the negligence and second, do what you could so another woman did not suffer the same situation as you. Do you mind if I ask if it was a lengthy process and how you dealt with it emotionally while going thru it? Tho your life was forever changed with a stage iv dx, I am glad that you won your case.