Starting Chemo March 2015

Options
1…323324326328329…390

Comments

  • eheinrich
    eheinrich Member Posts: 792
    edited December 2015

    Neverthought, that must have been so painful. I'm so sorry about your son.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    I don't want to contradict what people are saying about their own experiences.

    Mine is somewhat different. I usually have hair this short, so the difference now is that it's curly. (And a year ago it was a festive mohawk--I'm used to changing it up.) This may be the genderqueer part of me talking, but although I liked my breasts and miss them, I'm also pretty curious about how my body is settling out without them. I don't like the extra varicosities on my calves or my still-cruddy toenails, and I'm not wild about the rather concave mastectomy scars, but in the grand scheme of things I sort of don't care. I'm really in touch with how glad I am to have had it caught relatively early and to be alive. That's where I am right now, so if I saw you with short hair (which I find very attractive) or saw your scars I'd be genuinely interested and complimentary. YMMV though, and I'm not trying to say you should feel otherwise.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited December 2015

    ok, that's it. I'm switching teams.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • rleepac
    rleepac Member Posts: 755
    edited December 2015

    Neverthought...my best friend is also a PA (we went to Med school together) and I had lunch with her the other day. She says 'you know you can't really call yourself cancer free for five years right?'

    I just looked at her, speechless...

    She's one of those frank, lay-all-your-cards-on-the-table kind of gals so it shouldn't have surprised me but it really did!

    After a few minutes of stunned silence I told her that I believe there is a reason she works in surgery on people who aren't awake. We had a good laugh at that but her words still stung a little. I know what she was trying to say, but it sure came out wrong.

    Bekah

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • shaz101
    shaz101 Member Posts: 718
    edited December 2015

    ksusan I'm happy that you feel that way. I used to love having really short hair when I was young. But now I don't think it suits me. I had only just started to like myself when this cancer hit. I was in a terrible marriage for 20 years. And I didn't have any self esteem. And my hair was a big part of my growth. Maybe I should try and get it styled. Atm it's all one length.

    I FOUND MY CAR 😀

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited December 2015

    ummm. Yeah.. She needs to do her talking to sleeping or dead people. Just because someone feels the need to be factual does not give license to unkindness. That was unkind. But POW!!!! What a comeback. I'm proud of you for that, Bekah.

    My own brother, (who texted me first to catch up) after hearing an update on the liver problem and upcoming bone scan said these exact words: " I'm sorry to hear of your problems. There seems to be no end to them." My own brother. Yes, it probably is accurate that my problems seem endless. He may not have meant to be, but he was unkind. I am somehow choosing to ignore it. I may need to ignore him inorder to do that. But I don't need the negativity. This was not the brother I'm closest to, but we were once close. Sad.


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • SueH58
    SueH58 Member Posts: 632
    edited December 2015

    Shaz - by now it's Monday morning in Australia and I'm thinking of you and your Dr's apptmt. Please let us know how it goes. We are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited December 2015

    Sharon- so glad you found your car and made some nice additions to your wardrobe!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Italychick
    Italychick Member Posts: 2,343
    edited December 2015

    It's just hard. You all can say anything to me, because you are walking this road with me. Other people have no idea. Having said that, I guess everybody has their own personal issues, diseases, etc. to deal with. But it's kind of like, even with people surrounding me, I still feel I walk this road alone. Although that comment minimizes what my husband and children are feeling, and makes me feel selfish somehow. What a complicated thought process. Maybe I should just drink whiskey!

    The hair comment may have been unwarranted lol, because I do actually like my hair short. Thanks for reminding me ksusan! I guess what I was trying to say is that when one of you say it, the comment feels genuine and different than having strangers say it. If that makes any sense. Although one guy did say I am so sorry, all that luxurious hair gone. And surprisingly, that comment made me feel odd somehow. I had no words. I wasn't even emotional about it, as my hair came out I just shrugged my shoulders and threw it in the trash. When the time came to buzz it, I had my husband do it and then we just moved on and cooked dinner, no tears, etc

    Katy, maybe underneath his comment was the thought that he wishes he could make it go away. Brothers don't always know how to say stuff. Like my little brother, when I talk about trying to lose chemo weight, he says don't lose weight man, you might need it if this stuff comes back, you don't want to get all skinny and everything and have no reserves to fight with. Haha, if all it takes to fight cancer is excess body weight, I've got that totally covered!

    Sharon, glad you found your car, hopefully before your wallet was empty! And I hope you got cute stuff!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited December 2015

    People are doorknobs sometimes. I'm gonna spout more questionable science and say I read somewhere that everyone has cancer cells circulating in their body. If that's true, the term "cancer free" is just a matter of degree for anyone, it seems. So ours landed. Well, why not us, right? The reverse of that is true too. Why not them? Why not anyone? This axe hangs over eceryone, it's just that we know our enemy now. We have stared the monster in the face and spit in its eye. Just my random thoughts.

    Also, body image is weird. I keep wondering how I look to others. My gut feeling is I just look kind of undefinably unfinished, not disgusting or obviously mutilated. But who knows? No one is going to answer that question honestly lol. Mostly I'm just like "eff anyone who cares, sometimes life is ugly and shocking". Cheerio!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    A cautionary tale! Death by Coconut (not cancer-related).

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited December 2015

    very interesting. Some things never change.And I had no idea GP swirled coconut oil around in her mouth!


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    I was thinking coconut oil could have been good for his coconut-oil-malnutrition leg ulcers!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited December 2015

    it seems mono anything needs to be approached with a stink eye.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Carrie37
    Carrie37 Member Posts: 331
    edited December 2015

    1/4 poodle!!!! 😂😂😂😂 LMFAO!!! I'm totally using that!! I avoid mirrors and when I do see myself...I think YUCK.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited December 2015

    Carrie- haha, I know, right? And you know, poodles are VERY smart!

    And we have a birthday girl tomorrow!!!!

    Happy Birthday Leigh!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎉🎉🎂🍨🎂🍨🎂🍨🍰🍰🎂🎂🎂🍰🍨🎂🎂🎂

    I hope the day is wonderful for you, and you can carry thegood feelings through the week, month, the holidays, and all of 2016!!!!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited December 2015

    I also wanted to thank everyone for the good thoughts and vibes you've been sending. I feel better today. It is day 3 off the Tamoxifen, and I would be surprised to feel a result so soon, but there it is. I think all of your support in the air has reached me. I really appreciate it.

    I am also on day 3 of my liver cleanse. Of course I am terrified of what being off endocrine therapy could mean, but honestly, I cannot continue to live like that. Hopefully I'll be able to sort out an AI that I can take without having an ooph, but I am now (also with your kind words, especially PBs) ready to do it if I have to.

    Tutti has a new trick to entertain me. She's figured out how to get on the roof. She comes over above my bedroom and mewls at me like she wants me to get her down. I figured her out pretty quick. I ignore her and go back in the house. Five minutes later she's at the door. A quick check for birds and rodents, and if she's clean, she's in. Hahaha

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    Show that cat who's (theoretically) boss!

    Reading BCO, it would seem that for some people, some tamoxifen generics are better than others.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • shaz101
    shaz101 Member Posts: 718
    edited December 2015

    tutti is very entertaining. I'm so glad you're feeling a bit better katy. Fingers crossed that it continues for you.

    Happy birthday leigh. Let's hope that this next year gets better and better for you.

    My appointment is in 2 hours time. Argh I'm so stressed. I'm still camping. So I need to pack everything up. Hopefully that'll keep me busy. It's so frigging hot...and windy.


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • eheinrich
    eheinrich Member Posts: 792
    edited December 2015

    Then there's this....

    https://www.facebook.com/stopcancerstartpraying/


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    Couldn't hurt, though as an atheist, I'm also not convinced it can help.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • eheinrich
    eheinrich Member Posts: 792
    edited December 2015

    I thought it was silly. Also an atheist, and I am not one to get annoyed when people say they are praying for me - that's their version of sending good thoughts. But a fb page devoted to praying for the end of cancer seems odd....

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited December 2015

    I have been on both the Mylan and Teva (more recently) brands. I just don't know.

    The 30 day lab re-test will be enlightening. Actually, the good news would be if it'sTamoxifen's fault. Otherwise unexplained liver issues. I guess I'd rather have a reason

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Italychick
    Italychick Member Posts: 2,343
    edited December 2015

    Ksusan, what a dumbass that guy was. The coconut oil on the gums is really helpful though, helped me get through chemo. I like food too much to ever only eat coconut products

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    I'm pretty sure too that a coconut looking like a human is sympathetic magic rather than a scientific organizing principle.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • DavisD
    DavisD Member Posts: 338
    edited December 2015

    Sharon-I understand what you're saying about not wanting attention called to your body, hair, etc. I kind of outed myself with pics of Thanksgiving...I just posted like every year not really thinking about it until I looked and felt ugly even though I should feel grateful I have some hair. Oddly enough it felt bad to read the kind comments about my"beautiful smile" because you couldn't really say I looked "good."
    My daughter gets mad when I make self deprecating remarks so I'm trying hard to just say the hell with it. I am who I am right now and I've been through a shitload of stuff this past year and try to love myself for enduring it. I hope you can admire your own strength, I know how much you've been through:)

    I found that at work when I talk w/people in the community some feel obligated to ask about my hair or lack there of. I've had some supportive comments but over the weekend my husband and I ran into people he knows from his volunteer work at a local theater. I may be paranoid but two women we met seemed to have a difficult time making eye contact with me. I don't know about you all but I think the thought that I had C makes people uncomfortable. It sucks because I'm living my life and trying to be "normal." I can't wait until my hair just looks like I cut it intentionally. Didn't mean to unload but Sharon's comment struck a chord with me.


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • DavisD
    DavisD Member Posts: 338
    edited December 2015

    Ok I posted before reading the most recent thread. I'm a little behind but wanted to say I agree with your lists Theresa and Katy! Yes to all of the stupid things people say because they don't know what to say. I am sick of them as well.

    Katy-I hope you start feeling much better, this really sucks that you're struggling so much. As for the remark from your brother, hurtful for sure...my brother sent me a text "how long did the doctor say you would live?" yes really.. I do have to say my brother is severely hearing impaired and has a very concrete thought process so this isn't a totally shocking remark.

    Happy Birthday Leigh!

    Sharon-I'm glad you're treating yourself to some new clothes and found your car:) I bought a new dress this weekend even though I struggled with finding anything that I felt "pretty" in...I came close.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • shaz101
    shaz101 Member Posts: 718
    edited December 2015

    Hi all, I've had an ultrasound. Just waiting to see the Dr again. But it's looking good. They think it is scaring and muscle separation. Will post an update soon.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • eheinrich
    eheinrich Member Posts: 792
    edited December 2015

    Yay Sharon! Keep us up to date.

    I understand Diane about finding things to feel pretty in. I tend to be a sundress kind of gal - since I lost my hairs I feel like I'm not femm enough to pull off dresses. This is stupid for many reasons - foremost being that I had short hair for a very long time. Maybe now it's compacted w/ being in my late 40s. idk. I want to feel pretty.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Italychick
    Italychick Member Posts: 2,343
    edited December 2015

    Cheryl just forwarded me a Garth Brooks link which I think I posted on our secret Facebook group. That man is amazing. I think it is from last year, but big hugs for him for being supportive. He lost his mother and sister to cancer I think.

    Sharon, fingers crossed! Waiting anxiously to hear.

    Eileen, you are beautiful with short hair, sincerely. Your smile is so warm and genuine, put on that sundress and rock it sister. And your eyes are so vibrant and alive.

    And happy birthday Leogh! I had a mimosa today for you


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories