Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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Glad to have you with us, Emmiejohns.
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What you put out comes back.
The more you sincerely appreciate
life from the heart, the more the
magnetic energy of appreciation
attracts fulfilling life experiences
to you, both personally and
professionally. Learning how to
appreciate more consistently
offers many benefits and
applications. Appreciation is an
easy heart frequency to activate
and it can help shift your
perspectives quickly. Learning how
to appreciate both pleasant and even
seemingly unpleasant experiences is
a key to increased fulfillment.Doc Childre and Sara Paddision
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welcome Emmiejohns
I'm a year out from my lumpectomy, chemo and radiation. 64, retired RN. hobbies: birdwatching, genealogy, volunteer photographer for findagrave.com - I've taken over 26,000 tombstone photos, go into withdrawal if any of my electronics are out of commission, thank goodness my partner is a computer nerd and gets them fixed quickly when I have problems
looking forward to getting to know you
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Was doing fine, now I haven't gotten any posts since the 11th. Hope they can fix me again!
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Welcome, Emmiejohns. Good luck with completing your treatment and getting on with your life. We talk about a lot of subjects except for religion and politics. People tend to be sensitive about those subjects so we tiptoe around them!
It's a gorgeous day here in south Louisiana today, sunny and cool. What will I do with this gorgeous day? Undecided. So far I've had some cups of coffee and am not dressed. So I'd better GET WITH doing something!
Hope everyone has a good day.
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Only the wise person draws from life, and from every stage of it, its true savour, because only he or she feels the beauty, the dignity, and the value of life. The flowers of youth may fade, but the summer, the autumn, and even the winter of human existence, have their majestic grandeur, which the wise person recognizes and glorifies. -Amiel
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Good morning. Many prayers for the people of Paris. Sad times ahead for many there.
It is pretty here with the sun, but we started very cool. It won't get too warm today --- maybe high 50's or very low 60's, but I do think Dh can get outside and blow leaves. I made chili last night to celebrate our cooler weather. Will cook some macaroni later to stir into the left-overs. Probably sounds terrible here ( not real fantastic for the waist either ) but we often slightly crush some corn chips and put a little cheese and taco sauce on top the chili mac. Always calls for extra walking at the gym for us. If we won't watch out we will end up walking half a day for some of our excesses.
Bonnets, I hope you are able to find a solid fix for your computer woes. Dh and I, since we seem to go through periods of problems just buy a service from Microsoft ( don't much trust anyone else ) for $149.00 per yr. Any time we have an issue or just want them to check for potential ( virus or malware lurking and waiting for the right moment ) trouble we call them up and they take charge of our computers and make sure we are ok. We did have to make sure though that it was truly Microsoft. There are others ( some even alluding to being Microsoft ) that will do the same kind of work for you -- but having tried ( foolishly I might add ) a couple we don't feel they even come close to the standards of Microsoft. Just an idea for you.
I hope you all have a great Saturday. I am going to work later tonight.
Blessings
Jackie
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Thank you. I am overwhelmed by the people in these posts. Every one of you has a "story" and lives, good and bad stuff, just human stuff.
The horrible attacks in Paris are all over the news. I am saddened by the violence and hate, and pray that there is a way past all of this. It seems to get worse and worse, and who knows, could be coming to a neighborhood near any one of us.
This is my first weekend break of Radiation Therapy, and I am feeling blessed that I do not have to go there, today. I could not believe how tired I was last night. I had blood tests today. It seems way too early for this fatigue to be a result of the RADS. Maybe something else is going on.
A friend is coming to see me today from a few hours away and will stay the night, and I have to get this place cleaned up. She's a good friend, and she won't see it, but I have to have it right for my own peace of mind. Instead, maybe I'll just make cookies.
All of my animals wanted to cuddle last night. We have too many - 4 cats [2 of them unintentional], two dogs [one of them inherited from a friend who passed away last year], and two horses. The horses get me up and out every day to feed [or groom, on a good day]. Still waiting for that wonderful day when I will ride again. Not up to it, yet.
Grateful for this community, where people seem to really care, about me, a stranger.
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Emmiejohns, You are not a stranger! You are part of our family!
I, too, am thankful for this community. I am also an animal lover, and have rescued many animals over the years. I am down to one cat right now, but have had as many as 5 with a dog. I am moving in a couple of months, but once settled, I want to adopt a dog or two....maybe older, maybe not so cute, but needs a home. I tend to feel sorry for those left behind.
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Welcome Emmijohns,
Please let me add to your welcome. Do not ever think for one moment that any of us does not care about you. I have been part of this group for almost two years. I found a group of women that understand me, wherever I am at any particular moment. Now, I consider them friends that share in my crazy life. I bounce from my home for 38 years in Ft. Lauderdale, Fl, to my oldest daughter's home near Atlanta, with side trips to So. Carolina to my son and NY to see my siblings. I have 5 children and 6 grandchildren, with two more on the way, one from my youngest daughter, due at the end of March, and the other from my son in SC, due in June, 11days after my youngest son's marriage. That is just the beginning of my stories, which is to say my life is not boring. But that's stories for another day.
I read on Facebook last night that the wife of one of the teachers I used to work with has been diagnosed with breast cancer. I told them my story, and that I would be glad to talk to them if they want, but also suggested she join us here on BCO, telling her that if not this particular thread, I am sure there is one she will feel comfortable in. They moved back up north after Hurricane Wilma 10 years ago. It is not in my comfort zone to reach out to people I don't know that well, especially to talk about myself. (I have no problem talking about my kids or grandkids). Without knowing her details, I could certainly relate to that awful time between the diagnosis and the start of treatment. Gus responded that they really appreciated my openess and will contact me when they are ready. Guess it is time to pay it forward.
Anne
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Anne, I think for many of us we want to "pay it forward". I know I do and feel it it is part of God's plan for me. We have to be here for each other!
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It is always nice when someone new joins us here...it gives perspective about the grand diversity of the ladies here. It is so true that we can talk about such happy times with our famiies, and then share grave difficulties....all the while accepting the fact that it is perfectly OK to post about pets, or food, or the daily tasks in life.
There is life after BC diagnosis...and we should not spend a lot of time "waiting" for things to get better. There is something to be learned in every day.
Jackie, I love reading about your kitties and how they have their own "circle of life"....how wonderful that you are there to help them out there in the world, especially as it gets into the winter season.
Yes, Teka, the day before TG should be for prepping and travel....but for some reason, my employer has chosen to ignore that. We will have very few students and faculty attend that day so it is kind of a waste of effort.
In this crazy awful but wonderful world we live in, I hope and pray that each of us can find beauty and peace in each day. More often than not, I have to turn off the news and just focus on my smaller world and the tasks and blessings that are there.
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I spent 5 hours yesterday helping the Boy Scout do his Eagle Scout project of cleaning up cemetery stones, photographing the stones and posting them on Findagrave. I was very surprised to learn that he could not personally do ANY of the work, that it was a leadership project he was being evaluated on. He's not even going to be adding the photos to findagrave, he got one of the other findagrave volunteers to do that. He asked me, I told him no, I had 2000 of my own pictures to add.Good thing it was a nice day, no snow, and about 40 people showed up to help. We got half the cemetery done, 2 of us did the photographs and the rest cut away the grass and cleaned the stones. The other findagrave volunteer is going back this morning to finish photographing the last few rows, the light just wasn't good any more even though it was 2 pm. His goal was to do 1000 graves, have no idea whether we met that or not but he was pleased at finishing what we did.
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It is the common, everyday blessings of our common everyday lives
for which we should be particularly grateful.
They are the things that fill our lives with comfort and our hearts with gladness --
just the pure air to breathe and the strength to breath it;
just warmth and shelter and home folks;
just plain food that gives us strength; bright sunshine on a cold day;
and a cool breeze when the day is warm.
- Laura Ingalls Wilder -
Beautiful sunny day outside this morning. I'm so happy. we are due for three days of rain and windy weather starting tomorrow -- so good old Mr. Sun is going to be a very appreciated fellow by me today. I dread rain ( though we need it from time to time ) but mainly for the gloomy outdoor countenance. Too much gray and I am sort of moaning and groaning and having a hard time remembering all the wonderful things like hope and inspiration. I will get by ( thank goodness I have sunshine lamps ) but just hearing about the prediction of three days starts the feeling of dread.
This is and I think always will be a special place for me. It helped me be whole when I felt anything but that. Sharing a dx., ( a very frightening one ) with others soothed ( took awhile for a lot of the anxiety to fade well ) my total sense of being ripped out of my life and deposited in the strange nether-land of maybe your going to leave this Earth now. I can't tell you exactly when my sense of perspective came back, but I do think it was a lot sooner than it might have had I not been able to come here and find out how much company I REALLY had.
So much of it all had to do with the fact that we are so much alike -- same hopes and dreams and for so many of us here reaching an older age before dx. the thought of starting the process of a much less hectic life and a much more relaxed style. Sigh !!!! Well, that has come, but I would have never dreamed with the twists and turns that came along. I do indeed feel relaxed, but as much as anything it is due to the constant connection of the just like me group that is right here. In coming here, and staying here I feel an interweaving of life that I did not totally have before. That is why I stay.
So, more yard work needs to get done, but wondering if we will get all the way through. I wanted Dh to not buy another back-pack blower. I don't know why but they just don't seem to last around here and they are expensive. I've had an old electric one and it just keeps going and going. I know he finds it awkward since you do have to attach a really long ( 100 ft. ) cord to it -- but I've used it since before we moved out here to the woods, which means over 16 yrs. and it just keeps going. I can't recall how many back packs -- maybe five. Well, I may have to take my blower out and work on the yard.
Anyway, I'm going to have a good day and enjoy that sunshine. Still by the way strongly thinking ( with the rain coming for sure ) of bringing Mr. Gray ( not even sure it is a Mr. ) home with me. Ms. Pushover is hating the fact that there will be so much rain and wind too and that Mr. Gray, who I might add didn't seem to go anywhere the last storm a couple of days previous, will have to be out there. I got used to my Orange & White friend living in the thicket for so long -- he was there yrs. before I took over his care and feeding, but I don't have the same feeling about Mr. Gray.
See you all later.
Blessings
Jackie
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Morning all,
Sorry to say that Sunny Florida is gray and gloomy. I have a lamp on at 11:30am.
Jackie, every time you mention your sunshine lamps, I think of my daughter and her kids in that windowless warehouse. The good news is they spend more time out of it than in it, and the majority of the time in it is spent sleeping. Thank God they moved into it at the start of the school year, so the kids are out of it at least five days a week. I know both my daughter and her husband are unhappy there, so hope they will start looking for a rental soon. On the good side, she and I found out the new baby is a girl on Fri. She told her husband, of course, but I am under a complete gag order except for my sister, until next Sat, when her friend is hosting a "reveal" party. Meanwhile, I told her I would make shirts for her other two kids, telling them it is a girl. I told her I am not even going to mention her name for the next week, much less talk about the baby in any way.
I don't think I have hidden the fact that I do not like her husband at all, and with good reason. I do my best to keep those feelings to myself when I am with her, but they were brought up again when he didn't come to the sonogram to find out the sex of his new baby. He "gets bored" at Dr's offices. He is the one that wanted the baby, but has no interest in the pregnancy or child until it is walking and talking. When his oldest daughter was born, he left the hospital within an hour and then came by for a half hour many hours later. With their son, he did the same thing, and when he came back 14 hrs later, he had cut off the hospital band identifying him as Dad. I asked if he knew he needed that baNd to go with the baby for various tests and especially the circumcision. He said he had seen his first son circumcised, so he didn't really need to see it again. He offered the band to me and I gladly took it. Not only did it let me go wth my DGS for testing, I also didn't have to show ID every time I visited, and I got 1/2 off on any food bought in the cafeteria. I was at the hospital all day, my DD who now lives in Atlanta stayed overnight each night. Daddy dropped by each day for a half hour at most each day.
BTW, when their daughter was less than a year old, he kidnapped his son from his first marriage, across state lines. The police came to his door with the mother and grandparents to get the kid back. He claimed it was a "misunderstanding" and got away with it. He has had no contact with his son since then - I think that was probably his "stay out of jail" card. Anyway, I hate hispompous arrogance and cannot see what hold he has on my daughter. These incidents are just the tip of the iceberg. But, I can't say anything negative about him, because he would think nothing of taking his family somewhere and I would never hear from them again. So , I will happily go to every Dr appt she has, and will be with her at the hospital. The only reason he is present at the births is because he fancies himself as an expert in everything and wants to make sure the Dr is doing things properly and there is no reason to sue. Although cameras are forbidden during the actual birth, he set his video camera up in the bathroom and left the door opened, taping the whole birth when his daughter was born. Even my DD didn't know he was doing it.
Enough of my rant. Hope you all have a great day.
Anne
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Yea, Jackie! I hope you have Mr. Gray home with you by the time you read this. The thought of little animals being out in stormy weather. You are a good person!
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Hi,
I wrote this earlier, but didn't hit submit.It was a cool but nice day here. After church I accompanied DH on a long ride to Montauk (the end of Long Island) where he is buying a boat. He has to bring it to a ramp to have it taken out of the water and brought to our storage place. Dh wanted to see the ramp before he attempted navigate with a boat he's never driven. He has friends going with him Tuesday and I will be spared the stress.
Next project: continue to empty closets once and for all. My life is busy now, and I just don't need to store 3 closets full of clothes. I am putting my summery things into a vacuum storage bag to store somewhere dry. I have a few things (a lot of things) to try and sell on consignment but they too need a place. The rest goes out...this week.
It looks like my Thanksgiving turkey size is growing....my grandson who I raised asked if he could bring his girlfriend and her mother from Ohio who I never met. I did not mention to DH....he may feel uncomfortable. OUr house is in "renovation-ready" stage and has a lot undone. But I think we can manage.
Anne, I know your stories are true because you "couldn't write this stuff!" Good for you that you get to spend more time with DD and be her support. One of my dearest friends has a sister who had UMX for lobular BC. The sister has a boyfriend who used to be a NYC cop and he had to run every aspect of her dx and treatment and always be right and keep the sisters apart....the difference was he was always there so my friend never had a moment along with her sister. It is a very extreme personality disorder, in my opinion, that some people have to control situations and people, as you describe, Anne....and it all centers around the controlling person's needs.
You seem to have been given the role of bringing moderation and normalcy to these situations. -
Studies of volunteers have shown there is a benefit to performing acts
of love for other people. The irony is that it is actually in your best interest
to be selfless. The things you do for the benefit of others not only
make you feel fulfilled, they increase your chances of living a long and happy life.
Remember that an act of love always benefits at least two people.
Bernie Siegel -
these are the shirts I designed for the gender reveal party- sorry I couldn't make them smaller- I've been trying for over an hour
Anne
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I have no idea why only one went thru. Here's the other
Anne
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Very cute!
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I like them both a lot Anne.
Hugs & blessings
Jackie
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Those shirts are cute, Anne.
DH and I worked in the yard this morning. I did pruning and he operated the wheel barrow, picking up the piles I built. He also picked up a lot of limbs. It was still (no wind) enough for him to burn the accumulation.
This afternoon I worked on a birthday present for my younger sister, place mats with a horse theme. The fabric is very pretty. I bought it in MN at a quilt shop this summer. I got all the cutting and prep done and am ready to do the actual stitching.
Now I'm settled in my chair and wishing I didn't have to cook dinner. DH is still out in his work shop. He has more going power than I do. I wish he would come inside, take his shower and make us a drink! I so look forward to my cocktail at this time of late afternoon/early evening.
Hope everyone had a good Monday.
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Spiritual energy brings compassion into the real world. With compassion,
we see benevolently our own human condition and the condition
of our fellow beings. We drop prejudice. We withhold judgment.Christina Baldwin
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When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother
would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people
who are helping." To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember
my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there
are still so many helpers--so many caring people in this world.
Fred Rogers -
In the rush of daily living it's easy to forget all the remarkable people, real or fictional, who have been a part of your life.But if you just imagine they are near for a moment, you will realize that anyone who ever touched your heart is always with you, patiently waiting to emanate warmth and support whenever you remember to think of them. -Barbara Sher
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Welcome Emmiejohns. Glad you found this terrific support group where it's safe to share your feelings and get some encouragement. I've been away for a few weeks and missed everyone.
Thanks for the birthday wishes and beautiful pictures.
I haven't been on because I did my 2 craft shows for the holidays. I didn't make as much as I'd hoped at either, but I did sell some older pieces. And, I have a new wholesale account in Skokie. So, that's really exciting.
Thanks for the info. on Vitamin K; it is definitely something I need to be eating more of - no cumadin for me.
BIL is still here. DH has had it too with all the lies and empty promises and how selfish he is. We just have to talk about how to handle it, but we want him gone by the end of the year. DH wants to talk to him, but I'm not sure how "solid" he'll be on the deadline. And we have to decide consequences, is changing the locks and throwing his stuff to the curb enough? Do we need a typed agreement for a "renter" who has defaulted? There's a lawyer in here, right? Would appreciate input on that.
Since we're talking depression and bipolar, it's a topic I'm too familiar with, unfortunately. Add breast cancer to that mix and it can be bad. I haven't been keeping up with my positive readings and affirmations very well and that makes a difference. Since the time change and the rain and darkness, I've been a little grumpy and tired (again, the need for the affirmations).
I went to hear a speaker/coach today about changing your thoughts and being victorious instead of a victim. It was very good and I feel that I have a lot of tools to use to keep myself sane. My goal is to live with more joy somehow in this crazy world. I'm very sad (and angry) about France. I just don't understand why this group can't be taken out (sorry if this offends anyone, so I'll stop now.)
Cats are another favorite topic of mine: we have 4, all adopted from shelters and our youngest, Tommy, who's 3 now, from a family who was being evicted. We were supposed to keep him for only 30 days. Then they didn't ask about him at all and of course, I fell in love with him.
Buddy, who's diabetic and maybe 14.
Fritz, 4 years
Sammy, 4 years
Tommy, 3 years
Since Buddy gets insulin 2x a day, we had to upgrade his food to more protein and more money. I tried to feed him only the expensive food, but it was really hard to monitor all of them and keep them away from him and he refused to eat separately. SO now they all eat the high-protein expensive food, wet and dry. The extra expense from this food and from the utilities my BIL is using and not paying for is getting pricey. Thank G-d I sold items at the shows and online.
Add to that, dh was sick with an infection in a nerve in his ear and was off work for 2 weeks and he doesn't get paid unless he works. That's helping him realize what a burden his brother is on us, financially. Plus, it's been the 2 of us mostly for 41 years and now, it's like our whole routines have been changed. It's aggravating and we don't need it at this stage of our lives.
It's almost time for bed. I'm working from home tomorrow and I have to finish up a few things online.
Oh, I was able to make a donation to this great organization with the help of my customers' purchases in October. I feel good that I kept my word.
Will be in touch.
One day at a time,
Linda
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Great to hear from you, Linda, and mazel tov on that new account. Your little furkids are adorable!
Apropos of this thread (about being over 60), I got some very sobering news today about one of my best friends. No, she doesn’t have breast cancer--that would have been more manageable. She just turned 68, and as long as I’ve known her (25 yrs) has been a brittle Type 2 diabetic. And until last year she was a smoker. Also, though, until a couple of years ago she loved to go out and shop, travel, and work out with a personal trainer. In her youth she was both an equestrian and professional symphony violinist. About 20 years ago she discovered mixed martial arts (and became friends with the guys who wore the sensors for choreographing the Mortal Kombat games and movies) and had been practicing kickboxing. She also had a black belt in conversation. Her husband and mine are colleagues at two hospitals; and our sons have been classmates and BFFs since the summer before first grade (even though her son moved first to NYC and now lives in L.A., the boys are still close).
But starting about 2 years ago she began to develop COPD and lost quite a bit of weight. She finally was able to quit smoking, but too late. Last year she had to go on supplemental oxygen, and began getting forgetful. (Not Alzheimer’s, but cognitive changes from hypoxia). Two years ago, she began falling whenever the streets were icy and last year she finally had to give up driving. She’d had several recent hospitalizations for leg injuries and emphysema. Two weeks ago her emphysema progressed to cor pulmonale (lung-induced heart failure) and pulmonary hypertension, and her cognition declined rapidly--to the point where I could hardly understand her and when I could make out what she was saying it made no sense--she kept asking her husband when I was coming to pick her up to take her back home. Her son flew in from L.A. to be with her (she’s at NWM, about as good a hospital as it gets here in Chicago). The psych team evaluated her and decided she was no longer competent to make her own medical decisions, so her son has power of attorney (her husband felt that his son would be more levelheaded about such matters). Until a few days ago she was on heavy diuretics for the heart failure and 30L hi-volume oxygen. It became apparent that there was no way she could go home again--it would take round-the-clock nursing care and heavy equipment. But there was no long-term acute care facility, much less assisted living, that would be willing to deal with her respiratory needs. Eventually, she was able to be weaned down to 6L oxygen, and was moved to NWM’s long-term-acute-care wing to prepare her to move to a nearby luxury assisted-living building, where her dogs could even come visit.
But her first day in LTAC, she insisted on getting out of bed and refused to ring for the nurse. She fell and fractured her wrist and more seriously, her femur. It would need open-reduction/internal fixation surgery (the break is too extensive to reduce by manipulation and immobilize with external hardware). But the doctors have concluded that she is not likely to survive the long & brutal surgery, and even if she did survive she’d have to be intubated on a ventilator permanently. So they are increasing her pain meds as much as they can without suppressing her breathing, and will be moving her to hospice this weekend. I will be seeing her tomorrow after radiation---her son warns me that she is incoherent, angry, in & out of consciousness and might not even recognize me. But it’s my last chance to say goodbye without saying it, and her husband & son would like me there (as much for them as for her). They still wish to host us for Thanksgiving dinner regardless of what happens--they need to be among friends.
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ChiSandy, what a sad story about your friend. I'm so sorry for everyone involved, including you, her long-time friend. The only small plus is that there are concerned family looking out for her.
Today is my "little" sister's birthday. I remember her so well as an adorable little girl. She is turning 56! I just can't believe my kid siblings are getting so "mature." Yesterday my mother and I took her and her dh out to lunch and Michelle splurged by having high carb food that she has been avoiding in a weight loss program.
Today is another lovely day. I plan to take my mother shopping for a warm jacket. It takes a lot of energy because the stores do not have the electric shopping carts like the supermarkets have. I'll have to bring my mother's wheel chair and push her from the parking lot. She's quite heavy, over 200 lbs, so I'll get my work out. We'll go to Kohl's first. It has a nice dept. for large women and the prices are reasonable. The next store will be Belk's, in another shopping area. These are not indoor malls.
DH went back to the dr. again yesterday. We wanted to make sure he's not developing pneumonia. He has developed bronchitis. The coughing makes it difficult for him to get a good night's sleep.
Happy Friday for everyone.
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