Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

IllinoisLady

Above all do not lose your desire to walk. Every day I walk myself into a state of well being and walk away from every illness. I have walked myself into my best thoughts and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it. But by sitting still, and the more one sits still, the closer one comes to feeling ill. . . if one keeps on walking everything will be alright. -Søren Kierkegaard

IllinoisLady

Good morning, and I hate to say it is a rainy morning. It will stop and I think the older kids ( some young with their parents to selected homes of friends ) will likely go on tonight. I'll be working. It is the one time I really don't like to go to work. Always a bit afraid of trick or treaters as they often walk in the street due to no sidewalks or just a real over-abundance of people in one area at the same time.

I think my employers ( due to the small dogs ) will likely put a big bowl of candy on the porch and just let people help themselves. For the most part ( in this tiny, tiny town ) that works fairly well. It is big enough here that people who usually come around are from the general neighborhood --- and for where I work --- you'd almost have to be since the house has outside lights all over --- and the front door can only be reached by walking down a really long drive-way and then you must actually walk around the house half-way. At least I will be leaving fairly late so should miss the BIG amts. of children.

Carole, I hope you can work something out for a cleaning person. My, I'd love that but an impossibility here. I think we'd be more inclined to find someone to help with the two acre yard and then I'd find house chores for Dh to make up for the yard work he would no longer do. He would need to stay busy at something since he is 76 and the only way to stay in good shape is to keep doing things.

Used the quote today because it is so true for me. If I'm able to walk long enough ( sometimes that is difficult ) I get something that I think may relate to the runners who run past their tiredness and can keep going. I just reach a stage where problems, negative emotions, and other things that tend to gnaw and cause distress or confusion peel away pretty much and even if a GOOD answer hasn't as yet appeared -- the worry and fretting is removed and I can work on things in an un-troubled fashion. So, I tend to try and walk at least two miles per day. Like to do more but time constraints make it difficult. Also it is one of the best exercises you can do for yourself -- especially since other things may have issues.

I missed walking during my chemo and rads although I did some walking with rads which sooo helped a couple of times when that drop you where you stand fatigue reared its head. It really saved me. My feet have never been the same since chemo, but I do feel so fortunate that it is only my feet.I never regained total sensation in them or my shin areas either, but over time I've just kept going and so far --- I can usually do quite a bit -- though sometimes my feet end up aching pretty much either from standing way too long -- or walking more than is comfortable. Since that is only occasionally I still feel so grateful that I pretty much ( even with my feet ) have nothing that stops me from what I want to do, or think I need to do.

Anne, I probably said it, and I bet more than once, so excuse the repeat if so, but my hair is thin and fine as well. I don't have really enough gray hair to bother with color, so I keep getting perms --- it installs body and as well --- on damp days it allows me to have a semblance of a hair-do. Right now I'm trying very little perm left but finally got that hair-cut yesterday and for me -- I'd have to say it doesn't look half bad, but I've never been able to learn a GREAT knack for doing my own hair. I can get by if there is a perm, but doing straight hair, well hmmm, not so good most of the time. So, I'll work on it this way, but may have her do a body perm in a couple of weeks if I can't seem to create the umph it needs for me to actually look as if I have some hair.

See you all later.

Blessings

Jackie

IllinoisLady

Take time to be quiet. This is something that we don't do enough in this busy world of ours. We rush, rush, rush, and we are constantly listening to noise all around us. The human heart was meant for times of quiet, to peer deep within. It is when we do this that our hearts are set free to soar and take flight on the wings of our own dreams! Schedule some quiet "dream time" this week. No other people. No cell phone. No computer. Just you, a pad, a pen, and your thoughts. -Jim Rohn

IllinoisLady

Wow !!! Sun is back today -- though it was hiding for awhile behind a whole lot of fog. Not super bright yet, but it's coming. Glad for that. Not a big fan of gray days heaven knows. Worked last night but Dh went down to watch the Halloween Parade that Centralia puts on. Usually quite a long one for the fact we are a pretty tiny town -- under 14,000 people. It can go for three hours or so. Last yr. I didn't get to go either but the Dr. I work for was the Grand Marshall of the parade. He had a lot of honors during the yr. He had been at the clinic that was especially built for him for 50 yrs. and though he has slowed down considerably --- he just can't totally retire. I know how that is. Anyway -- I'm glad our town gets into the spirit of so many things as they do.

Already hating having to deal with the clocks again. It will get dark far too early now and for some reason the time change always makes coolness or cold feel more so to me. Today the leaves ( lots and lots ) are good and dry so maybe Dh will get outside and work on them.

We need to go to Mt. Vernon for a bit and will likely go to Steak & Shake. Well, no point in saying what I'm having --- my big rave of course.

Hope Sunday is wonderful for all.

Blessings,

Jackie

p.s. I reset my computer so I can have the font I want and the size. The last BC. Org update --- I don't have a toolbar, so can't do a lot of things. If I go in and un-check my accessibility boxes.....my tool-bar comes back but it changes the font entirely and it is so harsh and hard to read.....that I decided though a giant pain, that I will go in when I'm reading and typing and change the thing.

lindab142

Jackie, you crack me up - I'm also a round shape. I dislike the time change too. It wreaks havoc with my system. It's already dark when I leave for work and it'll be worse coming home.

I am focusing more, doing 1 task at a time until it's complete, so thanks for the advice. Since I'm dealing with the emotional aspects of bc, I will next deal with nutrition and exercise. I've asked my surgeon to OK me to start yoga (small steps). I like walking, but I recently started getting pains on my right leg and hip when I walk, so I'm not sure what's up with that besides arthritis and I also have osteoporosis.

Puffin, no offense taken.

I'm grateful that my onocotype report says I don't need chemo. Next up is the visit to the radiation guy to see what we think about doing it. I know many of you have had it, but I'm not sure about the burning and (more) fatigue.

For Halloween, we had less than 12 trick or treat kids because of the rain. I went out to get meds for dh, he has virus and an ear infection, and he's achy all over. Dr. gave him antibiotics and he sees an ear guy Monday. I'm glad he's resting and taking care of himself for a change. Also, got some more kitty dry food for our kitty boys. Since Buddy has diabetes, he has to eat high fiber food and it's so much more expensive for a small bag. $30 and on sale; it's crazy.

I was supposed to visit a friend who has leukemia yesterday. Haven't seen her in a long time and I wanted to bring her a belated October birthday present. But, my bronchitis was acting up and I'm not physically 100% right now, and I don't want to expose her to whatever John has. She's already weak, so we visited on the phone for over an hour, which was great.

Today's my 61st birthday. I thought we might go out last night, but dh is not feeling up to it, and I'm kind of off too. Today is a beautiful sunny day. Since I did errands yesterday, I'm paying bills and need to finish up pricing and setting up some jewelry items for my craft show next Saturday.

But, first I'll take a break from the computer. I might even take a short nap.

Hope you all have a great day! Happy November!

Linda

Wren44

Happy Birthday Linda! After 60 you can celebrate for a week, so just do something a little later. DH's birthday is tomorrow, so DD is taking us out tonight for dinner.

We had about 40 trick or treaters last night. More than ever before. Really cute little kids.

bonnets

Have a good birthday! Hope you all are feeling better and can have a belated celebration. Jean

sandra4611

Happy Birthday Linda. Since we've been discussing hair lately, this is appropriate.

sandra4611

The sun is out and I've enjoyed watching some little birds feast on a cup of seed I tossed onto a dry area on the back porch. We've had quite the bad luck with flooding in the San Antonio area off and on all week. It's been bad all over Texas. Folks just north of us in New Braunels and Austin have had such a tough time. You may have seen the photo of a wrecked truck on top of a roof...that was four hours north of us, near Dallas. We've had some tornadoes in our area too, which is unusual. An RV park north of here was hit badly by floods and the news showed several rigs floating down an overflowing river. In another story, the driver took a phone video while he and his car were being carried away. We live in the highest point in San Antonio so don't have any danger as long as we stay home. Don't understand why some people think rain is an opportunity to load up the family and take a drive. Every time we get a lot of rain in a short period, high water rescues happen.

My son Ryan, who has severe depression, anxiety, and is bi-polar, was doing so well but once again he has fallen into a virtual black hole. He's been at his new job 6 months which is a record. He usually has an episode long before this and then can't work for three or four months as he works through the suicidal stage and the crushing depression that follows. He called in to work for the first time ever yesterday and today. We're hoping he can get a leave of absence rather than lose this job. He was just over here Friday night and seemed happy but I learned from my daughter that he had been keeping a lot from us. Fortunately Ryan recognized the onset of suicidal thoughts late Friday night and called Allison (in Chicago) Since she's had similar problems, she's been able to help him. He is torn up over his father's illness. We all understand...we are too, but he, particularly, can't handle upset. Assuring him that his dad is doing great, responding to treatment, and may have a good quality of life for months, Ryan knows even with the bone marrow transplant, chances are the MDS will be fatal within a year. Ryan has taken Zantac for anxiety attacks, but this has gone further into a dark place like it so often has done since he was a little boy. Bless him. He's nearly 31 and all he wants is a peaceful life, a job he likes, and someday a wife. My husband is no help today. He usually can be, but he's feeling down too and doesn't have anything to give. Sometimes Mike can't keep up the artificial positive attitude and lets the weight of his illness overtake him, so I understand. I've had a cold with a lingering cough that has meant I haven't slept for more than 1/2 hour at a time for nearly a week. So consequently, I'm not in the best emotional shape these days. Isn't it amazing what lack of sleep can do? My son and his other sister suffer greatly with insomnia as well and neither of them can make a rational decision when they are tired. I'm going to take one of Mike's prescription sleep meds over to Ryan's apartment today. Getting some sleep can't hurt.

I made plane reservations to come back to Chicago in December. So many of you live close. Maybe I can meet some of you for coffee. I'll be there Dec 20-30 and can always rent a Zip car if the trains don't go to your suburb or city. Mike will be staying in San Antonio for Christmas. We've come up with this idea in order to keep stress off of him by having all three adult children home at the same time. Stephanie and Allison are not speaking to each other (I don't want to know why) so having them here together was causing Mike a lot of stress just thinking about it. I'll go to Chicago so Allison won't be alone. Since she changed jobs, Stephanie is able to travel during the holidays for the first time in over ten years so I want her to be able to come home. Of course we don't know what the situation will be with Ryan in six or seven weeks either so the possibility of a unstable environment has to be considered for him too. His birthday is Dec. 23rd. He likes to say it's no big deal, but it is. He gets very emotional around that time of the year like many people do. The ideal would be to take Ryan with me to Chicago for a change, to see the sites and the German Christmas market. If he is ok, but not working again, I might be able to do that.

On one hand I'd like to be able to tell them all to grow up and get along for their father's sake. But on the other, I can't count on it so it's better this way. Nobody has to fake it or walk around on eggshells. Mike doesn't care about decorating. He says he'd enjoy some quiet time and never has been all that wrapped up in the whole Christmas thing, so I don't feel bad about leaving then.

Well, for heaven's sake. I didn't mean to write a short novel. Sorry.

Wren44

Sandra, Good to hear from you. That sounds like a practical way to deal with Christmas. I hope Ryan doesn't sink any further and is feeling better soon. I have recurrent major depression and have worked in the field, so I have some idea of how difficult a time this is for everyone. Thank God he reached out to his sister. I can just imagine the flooding. DH was telling me how much rain Houston got and we could almost predict the amount of flooding. When DD was in 5th grade, she called me at work to say they were canoeing in front of the house. Luckily we were on the higher side of the street. Once the ground gets super dry, it just can't absorb rain the way it should.

(((((((Sandra, Mike, and family)))))

IllinoisLady

Happy Birthday Linda -- even if late, enjoy big time.

May you have many, many more and each more delightful.

Blessings,

Jackie

IllinoisLady

Wren, a big Happy Birthday to your Dh. Hope you enjoy that dinner tonight big time. Wow !!!! 40 trick or treaters. Of course out here in the woods, we don't get any. I'm glad that we don't. Our dogs would be so hoarse from barking and getting excited. Well, it is usually super-dark out here too. Most of us have dusk to dawn lights, but with our big yard, the placement is for the yard out away from the house --- where we often park our cars. The house outdoor lights are not enough to reach all the out there --- so we have lots and lots of really dark areas where we live.

Feel for people who much cope with depression in their lives -- either their own or someone they really love. So much of life is difficult, but carrying the weight of the world around with you as you try to survive has got to add so much more challenge.

I hope some of this weather settles soon. It has been 'wild' in so many places.

See you all tomorrow.

Jackie

IllinoisLady

I hope whatever you do and whenever you do it, you have the happiest time ever.

Blessings,

Jackie

Brutersmom

lindab142 I took a piece of fabric about 7 inches by 5. Stitch Velcro along the long edge and wrapped it around the seat belt near the buckle holding the two pieces together. The seat belt went right over my right breast when driving and it hurt. This has worked really well for me. Denim is a good choice. I tried a piece of ultra suede That stretched. My most successful attempt was denim lined with ultra suede.

carolehalston

Happy Birthday, Linda!

Sandra, I hope your son can keep his job and climb up out of the dark hole of depression. The trip to Chicago for Christmas may be good for you as well as for your daughter. Holidays can be difficult for a lot of people. I like the idea of taking an unconventional approach and not trying to force your family to conform to the ideal notion of what Christmas should be. Life isn't a Hallmark card.

We had a rainy day but it was pleasant. DH and I took food for noon dinner to my mother's house where my younger sister and her dh joined us for the meal. Then we watched the Saints game.

I have finished two crocheted hats/caps and am working on a third. I'm enjoying making them. It's a pleasure working with pretty yarn.

Hope everyone rests well tonight.

Luvmaui

I'm peddling away on my bicycle at the gym and catching up with all of you. Jackie, I've never been a walker, unless I'm shopping, or jogger but love bicycling. I always feel better after these workouts but sometimes it's hard to get out and do it especially on the rainy blustery mornings.

Sandie, I like your plan for Christmas. Sounds like it'll be good for you and your DH. It's so painful to see your kids in pain.....physical or emotional. I always feel somewhat helpless to make things better so I just let them know I'm here for them and bring homemade soup. It's very good that your son recognized when the dark thoughts creep in and he reached out to his sister. I hope his work will be understanding and hold his job for him.

We only had 4 trick or treaters as a huge wind and rain storm began in early evening lasting all night, so now we have a big bag of candy that I'll try to stay away from......riiiiight! When our kids were little our hill was filled with families but now all of the kids are grown and just us old folks are still here,lol.

Linda, happy belated birthday! I hope you'll seriously consider having radiation. I didn't have any problems with it except a little fatigue and a tanned boob.

Well time to move on to lifting weights. Have a good week everyone!

carolehalston

Judy, the upright bike is one of my choices for cardiac exercise at the gym. This morning I walked 30 min. on a treadmill and did a series of strength exericises on some of the machines. Then this afternoon I went to Sam's Club so there was more walking involved there.

Aside from the trip to the gym and to Sam's, it has been an at home day doing some kitchen chores. Hope everyone is enjoying this Monday.

lindab142

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes. DH found out one of his ear nerves is infected, so he's on a 2nd medication. Doc said it's really serious and he shouldn't be driving.

Sandra, love the BIG hair.

Jackie, how'd you know I love purple - hope that cake is chocolate.

Sandra, I'm about 50 miles from Chicago - I'd love the meet for coffee and cake or something. I'll give you my phone number when time gets closer. Sorry to hear about your son, depression and bipolar are tough to live with. I'm hoping he is under a dr and taking meds. There's a support group I go to "Emotions Anonymous" and it's helped me tremendously. Look up www.emotionsanonymous.org to find a meeting he can go to. There are 12 steps based on Alcoholics Anonymous, but adapted for emotions. I hope your cold gets better and that you can get some rest.

I'm just exhausted today. I worked and then heard dh's news from the Dr. I'm trying to think positive about everything, but it takes me a lot of work and affirmations.

I have to mail out a set of dreidel earrings I sold, so I'm doing that and then going offline and going to bed early.

So far, I have 2 sales proceeds to go to this organization. A local restaurant is having a fundraiser this week, but I bought myself a new pair of boots and am not sure I can take us out to dinner to support breastcancer.org, so maybe just the sales proceeds will be enough. Every little bit helps.

Linda

IllinoisLady

Genuine compassion is based on the recognition that others have the right to happiness just like yourself, and therefore even your enemy is a human being with the same wish for happiness as you, and the same right to happiness as you. A sense of concern developed on this basis is what we call compassion; it extends to everyone, irrespective of whether the person's attitude toward you is hostile or friendly. -the Dalai Lama

gardengumby

Linda, Happy Birthday!!!

We had really heavy rain and wind over the weekend. We weren't home for any trick or treaters, as our twin grandson's birthday party was on Halloween. (It's their Dad's favorite holiday so he's really happy they were born so close to the "day" Though we did leave a box of candy on the front porch for any possible die-hards.

I'm hoping for a little sunshine today and tomorrow, as I'd like to get out in the yard and get a few things taken care of!! I've got some plants that need to get into the soil and trimming and pulling before winter.

Sandy, so sorry to hear about the troubles with your son. We have experience with severe depression in my husband's family. It's no small thing!! You are such a trooper and manage to stay so "up" despite everything that's been going on with you and Mike. We think of you and Mike often. My husband asks how he's doing, and wanted me to express his concern to both of you.

Life in my world has been calming down I think I mentioned that I was diagnosed with anemia again, so I've been receiving iron infusions. My MO wanted me to go through the whole colonoscopy, endoscopy and camera thing (again) and sent me off to a Gastro doc. However, he disagreed. He said that the testing 8 months ago all came back fine and he saw no reason to repeat it. Asked me if I'd seen any blood and upon receiving a "no" answer, he said that I needed to have the iron infusion and then see if I became anemic again. (Needless to say, I like this guy's responses, as I did NOT want to go through all that testing again (nor pay for my portion of it, either...)

On the cancer side, I think I mentioned that I stopped the anti-hormonals a couple months early. It makes me a little nervous, but I just couldn't take all the side-effects anymore, and I didn't think that stopping 3 or 4 months early was going to make or break me. I had lost too much quality of life and felt like I was dying slowly. Now we're trying to get my blood thinning medicine working right. My body does NOT like medication. Warfarin gave me asthma, Eliquis caused extreme fatigue and too much bleeding, Xarelto caused terrible joint pain, stomach issues and anxiety. Now I'm on enoxaparin shots. When I was on these before I was also on letrozole, so if there were side-effects, they could have been masked by the side-effects of the letrozole. But I'm hopeful that this will work.

OK... time for me to do things. I'll "see" you all again, later.

Puffin2014

I saw my oncologist today for my 1 year post treatment visit. She say I'm doing fine, I still need to go in every 4 months but in March I'll start seeing the physician's assistant. I saw her part of the time I was in chemo so at least it's someone I know and trust.

mysunshine48

How many of you get tumor marker blood tests every 3 - 4 months after treatment ends as part of checkups? If so, which ones? My MO does 27/29 and CEA.

ohiofan

Puffin, glad you got good news ! That is always nice !! The NP gave me a schedule of appointments for the next few years, however, neither DH nor I remember what she said and we cannot read her writing! Guess It will be a surprise ! LOL

Sunshine, I don't think I have had any tumor marker tests. Maybe before or just after surgery?? Should I ask about them??

sandra4611

Things are better today. I took Ryan to see his general practive doctor, whom he loves, and stopped for lunch. He is doing better today. He describes himself as an alcoholic suicidal depressive and his condition as having cancer of the soul. How awful for him. He's been dealing with crushing depression for over twenty years. He's so sorry that he finds himself at nearly 31 as a person with a limited future. He wishes he had been healthy enough to go to college but understands that really wasn't a reasonable goal at the time. Alcohol makes him feel better in the short term but of course he knows it's bad in the long run. He's not willing to give up on it, however, and we all know no one can make another person give up alcohol, or cigarettes, etc. The person has to be ready to do it before they can accept help. All we can do is support him day by day. He takes Xanax for anxiety but that's all and won't see a psychiatrist. He did that for many years and was on lots of different drugs but nothing helped so he will not repeat that. Hopefully he will feel good enough to go to work tomorrow. His doctor gave him a note to take to his boss, so his job shouldn't be in danger.

Mike is quite depressed. His voice sounds like an old man today, soft and hoarse. It's like he's given up. We're having lunch with some friends tomorrow and that usually cheers him up. He has agreed to speak to his oncologist and seems ready to accept any help that the behavioral health professionals can give, although he has no faith in it. "It's just talk," he says. I'm sure his feelings are common to people who've been given a fatal diagnosis. I found out he had been reading posts on the Graft vs. Host page. That's the illness that many people who've received bone marrow transplants suffer with for the rest of their often short lives. No wonder he's depressed. The stories are horrible.

Thanks for listening. I'll try to be more positive next time.

mysunshine48

ohiofan, I don't know. All I know is that my MO did a 27/29 and. CEA tumor marker test after chemo. 27/29 was fine. CEA was elevated a little. She had me have CT scans of brain, bone, chest, abdomen and pelvis. All clear, but VERY stressful and anxiety producing! So, next visit, another bloodtest. Still a little elevated. So, I had a colonoscopy and an endocopy. Clear. She keeps wanting me to do these bloodtests. I am so stressed out! That is why Inwanted to know if any of your MO's do this. I think about this so all the time. I feel fine....trying to go on with my life.

Please post what your MO's do.

Sandra, you are in my prayers tonight. Sometimes it helps to vent!

Puffin2014

mysunshine: my onc does not do any blood markers. She does a complete physical every 4 months: looks in my eyes, mouth, ears, checks my neck, listens to heart and lungs, does a breast exam.

mysunshine48

Puffin, do you feel comfortable with thst?

carolehalston

I go for checkups to my bc dr. who did the BMX. Usually see her NP, which is fine with me. I like Heather a lot. She does an ultrasound of my underarms and chest. I have had blood work for the markers. The first three years I went for a checkup every 6 months. Now it's annual. Can't remember whether I was tested for the markers last year. I've heard that some drs. don't put a lot of stock in them because the results can be misleading.

My gynecologist orders the test for the marker that indicates ovarian cancer because of my family history. My dad's mother died of ovarian cancer.

Sandra, when life is causing a lot of stress because of serious problems our loved ones are facing, we can't always be Polyanna. No apologies necessary. I really feel for Mike and for your son, too. Bad things happen to good people through no fault of their own. Hugs to you and to both of them.

Wren44

I have never had blood markers done - or any scans. I'm 75, so perhaps they think I'll die of something else even if it should come back. I see the MO every 6 months until I'm off anastrazole. My PCP does breast exam at my yearly visit. I'm not a worrier. My mother did all the worrying for the whole family, so I never learned. A blessing, I think.

Sandra, Hugs for you and the rest of your family. I think Mike would do well with someone to talk to besides family and friends. Sort of like on here, he can be completely honest without worrying about feelings others may have.

bonnets

Another beautiful day here. We just got home from another Paddlewheel cruise , from Chattanooga to NAshville. Had rain half the trip, but we cud still watch the river out our window! Still been catching up on stuff at home, bills, groceries , etc.

Wren your post op sounds like mine, no scans, or markers, dr. visits while on anastrazole etc. And my Mom was like yours, worried before there was anything to worry about.

Sandra, I saw a new/old thing on the news yesterday for depression, you give yourself a little shock , when feeling depressed. Seems to work for some people. Just an idea.

Hope you all have a good day. Jean