April 2015 Chemo Crew... Starting in April? Please join us!

Addie is back! How are you feeling?

Positive, such beautiful leaves! Here it's all grey and green..

I could look into the ooph and I will, but really I was just hoping for an easy thing to blame...ugh.

Oh--and my stylist used this as the shampoo: http://www.amazon.com/Kevin-Murphy-Stimulate-Me-Wa... No parabens! To me it smells pretty cedar-y, so culturally it's a man-shampoo since men own the wood scents, I guess. I think it's a little like the gerbil cage, but not in a bad way.

89.00 for that shampoo, Holy Gerbil Cage that's rich. For that price it must be made with the essential oil of giant redwoods.

Ja, it's shampoo I can't afford, perniciously applied to my head in a craven attempt to make me go back for another haircut.

Or...my option: Just don't wash my hair except maybe once a week. And rub lots of coconut oil in it. Does it work? No clue. But it seems to look the same weather I wash it or just rinse and oil. And I've trimmed it three times, but mostly just my neck and around my ears. Because I'm super lazy, kind of dirty, and generally a hippie. Also, I work a job where those three characteristics are kind of expected, which exacerbates all three..On the other hand- that shampoo sounds like it smells Fantastic!

Oh my God. I have to vent. Cancer treatment is hard!! No I don't want you to go hunting and leave me with the puppy which I didn't even want for two nights! She gets up 3 times a night it takes me an hour to fal, back to sleep each time, and I go to work at 7. I also don't want to host a craft party on Sunday, because my house is a mess and I'm destroyed from entertaining the devil puppy. And I don't want to socialize at night on week nights, because, damn. I work 10 hr days and work out hard. DH pulled the PTSD from my cancer card, has laid himself off work, and stopped going to therapy and just played video games all day. He has the nerve to tell me he's going hunting and leaving his puppy with me! I'm to tired to go to work today because of the Damn dog, so that's more leave I have to take, u less I go in on Saturday after he gets home. I'm sick of puss footing around him because HE'S SO traumatized from me having cancer. Um, what about me? Am I not traumatized, let alone still tired from treatment? But, somehow, I manage to pull up my big girl panties and go to work, clean my house, and fucking FUNCTION. Motherfucker. Being tired makes me grumpy. And kind of incoherent. Sorry guys. Rant over. Also. How come he's a whiney little bitch and I'm the bread winner and the dinner maker right now??? And he has the nerve to suggest we don't need a house cleaner once every 2 weeks, which I pay for? Because it inconveniences him to leave the house for a few hrs while they work? And...he's gone to hunt ducks, which we don't even like, rather than elk, which we NEED. And my mom's comming tonight. And the house is a mess and I get to clean it. He's home all Damn day, how hard is it to load the dishwasher? And I can't say any of this to anyone because he has PTSD. Gotta provide a clqm, loving envi4onment. Ok, over for real now.

Oh littleblue! I'd have exploded by now!! I wish we could all sit and have a girls happy hour to support each other in real life! It would be so nice if we could pop in and help you!

Addie! Great news! In your face, BRCA!

Thanks for letting me vent, guys. I know I sound like an insane bitch. Hugs to everyone!

I'm not sure you're the one in your story who sounds like an insane bitch. (Not a professional opinion.)

Ksusan, thanks for the sympathy. Sometimes it really helps to hear That everything will be ok. I called a friend and am going hiking in a half hour. You are the best! (How long do you think I can play chicken with my signature line lol)

littleblue, it is easy to lose sight of the fact that most of us will be fine. Reading about horror stories, which are the minority, constantly activates fear. At least it does for me. I block all scary forums, so I can't go there because I don't see them. I basically stay on our March forum, the exercise one, steam room for anger, lumpectomy lounge, a couple of the alternative forums, and crazy town. The rest all just seem to scare the shit out of me.

Jen...about the tnbc trial. Remember, it's only phase 2 of the trial. There isn't a lot of time yet built up since phase 1 even started, so we don't have any conclusions yet about whether or not it's working. They 'think' it's promissing and isn't killing people when they take it. Only time will tell if it is preventing recurrence.

You had surgery, nuked the crap out of yourself with chemo and then radiated the area for good measure. YOU are cancer free and you're going to be around for a really long time to keep us laughing with tales on how you try NOT to strangle the lump on the couch! Got that!!!

Hi Ladies, saw my MO yesterday for the last time for a year unless something comes up to worry me. I'll see a PA in six months. We talked about how I am doing, she prescribed gabapentin for nerve pain, she said it would help with hot flashes from the tamoxifen if I get them too. She prescribed the tamoxifen, I'll start both tonight. We really didn't talk about much else, no "survirorship" here - she mentioned that sometimes after treatment, some patients need to talk to someone. I felt dumb because I know I have questions, but I didn't write them down or bring them, and I couldn't remember them. They had taken blood, and my levels were back to normal. She examined me. She said to have my mammogram in January (RO said wait 6 months after rads, but MO says she's not concerned about treated breast, so go have it done, so I guess I will). She said that it can take a year from end of treatment to feel back to normal.

Got my 2nd part of pneumonia vaccine (dang it hurts today), but no flu shot, I refused.

Her nurse called me today and said my vit. D levels are low (21), so she prescribed me a 50,000u pill to take 1x a week for 4 weeks, then I have to take OTC 2000u. I've been taking a sublingual supplement for a couple weeks now, so I guess that hasn't worked yet. I asked the nurse if the supplement should have Vit. k in it (which I read is necessary for absorption), but she didn't know. She said that the low Vit. D could be contributing to my stiffness/creakiness. I hope so - I mean, I hope that by getting the levels up, I'll feel better. I won't be tested again until my 6 month check.

I guess I have to get a pill container thingy. I'll have my Prilosec, Oxybutinin, Tamoxifen, vit. D, and gabapentin! Yikes.

Lynne