Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Brrrrr, it's 24 here this morning!

Termite hope this is a false alarm. The waiting is the worst .

Judy , i'm still numb in parts of my shoulder and underarm from my lumpectomy. Guess mine won't go away. hope yours does. I'd love to have the eye lift, but your experience convinced me I won't. The younger shure sounds good , but the rest isn't worth it.

Hi to the Chicago gals, I grew u there. Last time I was back was my 50th, 5 years ago. They are having the 55th this weekend, but didn't go. Hope everyone has a good day. Jean

It's brrr here too this morning.  Our days warm to tolerable level to pretty low 70's so it is ok for Fall, but ooh those nights and early mornings.  Haven't seen any real frost as yet, but one of these days the nights will zip down too fast and make the leaves ( if enough left ) nice and red and totally beautiful. 

ChiSandy -- hey Illinois is great, eh !!!  I was born right where I am now, but did grow up four miles away.  I had the absolute pleasure ( didn't always appreciate it though ) of growing up in a town of 200.  Back then ANY adult was for all intents and purposes your parent.  If they had to correct you they always shared the situation with your parent --- so it ended up sort of idealic.  Of course, couldn't get away with all that much, but what seems horrid during the young yrs. sure pays off well later.  I'm deeply appreciative now of how things were then.  All of that has mainly disappeared now.  The relative comfort and  safety of our growing up era  isn't easily found anymore.   I will say this ( although we sometimes have the thought we hope we realize if things are changing ) I've lived in the house we have now for 13 yrs. and we have never once locked the doors.  We've gone away for a couple of days at a time too.  It is just not something we have to do.  Frankly, I don't know if I have a key or not.  If I do I don't know which one it is --- or if it is still on my key-ring.  We do however, not live in town and live by a lake in a heavily wooded area a fair distance from town.  We have neighbors ( not too close, mind you ) but the neighbors in front of us usually can't see much of us due to trees and foliage and we have one neighbor to each side of us -- and they too can't see us well.   We are happy tucked away just a tiny bit from most civilization -- yet still a fairly active part of it. 

Still enjoying the picture of your gk's Judy.  My 45 yr. old son had hair the color of your gs when he was very young too -- maybe that is why I keep going back and looking.  If he'd have realized just how many girls envied him his hair he might have appreciated it more.  Sigh !!!!

Hope you all have a super Sunday.  I'm sure going to work on it.

Blessings

Jackie

Thanks ladies for all your prayers and good thoughts. I am anxious to find out what it is.

Judy, your grandchildren are adorable

Jackie, that is how our neighborhood was and still is even though most the kids are now at the other end of the subdivision ( a horseshoe subdivision with one entrance to enter or leave it)Neighbors are not close but we can see each others houses by us. Kids were always welcome and the neighbors were there if needed. When we had our basement blow out from a 100 yr. flood we never cooked a meal for over two weeks. Neighbors opened their homes to take our kids in (we were not suppose to live here during the renovation) and for us to use their showers whenever necessary. The guys from dh work came every night and helped clean out the debris and fix the basement (which we put into a four foot all cemented crawl space since insurance would not help finance any of the repairs.) Neighbors and friends are great!

suersis, I was on the femara for five years. Not many se except hot flashes that seemed different than the ones with menopause. Went off it in May.

Hopefully the cubbies do better tonight than last night.

I had an insanely easy menopause at 55, but for the night sweats (I just clip my hair up at night to keep it from getting wet and drying frizzy) and the slower metabolism. I don't think I've ever had an actual hot flash. Ten years on, I'm not looking forward to having something in common with my still-middle-aged sisters, but if that's what it takes to keep the cancer at bay I'll cope. Tamoxifen is also not an option for me: my family medical history is a cardiovascular disaster area (both parents, three of four grandparents and a maternal uncle--at 49--died of either heart attacks or strokes, and only two of them were over 75). I'm also on Wellbutrin (had p.p. depression and my dad had lifelong depression) and Dexilant for GERD and an “ulcerette" caused by the NSAIDs I took after my knee replacement surgeries, and both drugs interfere with the enzyme pathway that allows Tamox. to block tumors' estrogen receptors.

(Time out to cuss--the Bears are getting killed by the zebras, a clear interception was ruled a Lions TD. The “Real Bears Fans Wear Pink" T-shirt has clearly lost its magic, as did my Cubs tee last night).

I hear you about the lung spot. Back in May, my husband went in for a routine colonoscopy and came out with a perforated colon (at least the polyps they found were benign). After two hospitalizations during which they tried to medically manage it, he ended up having a hemicolectomy (no ostomy, thank goodness). In his first discharge summary they noted on his first CT scan a tiny lung lesion which they advise he should follow up in November. We're hoping it's an “incidentaloma," especially since it didn't show up on the scan and X-ray after the second hospitalization before surgery. Two weeks after his surgery his hernia became incarcerated and had to be repaired. We decided to stop & smell the roses--he's cutting back his hours and preparing to sell his cardiology practice to either another cardiologist (his partner is just an internist) or Advocate--and so we booked a Mediterranean cruise (Rome to Barcelona) on the Viking Star for the week before Christmas (with 2 days on our own in Rome). He says we're keeping our reservations unless either something goes blooey with me or his lung lesion has grown appreciably--and even then, a month's delay before biopsy would not make a difference. My care team has moved heaven & earth--securing an early surgery date (my surgeon originally didn't have an opening till Oct. 9, so she traded for Sep. 23; and confirming I can have the much shorter partial-breast radiation protocol--to make sure we can go on that cruise, because if my husband turns out to have lung cancer a postponement might be permanent). Until mid-August, we never dreamed I might be ill too. Funny how on May 7 we were both in perfect health; but by Jan. 1 we might both be dealing with cancer. “Menschen placht, und Gott lacht," as the Yiddish saying goes (“Man plans, and G-d laughs").

We live in a “good" neighborhood, but like so many in Chicago it abuts two “problem" ones (Rogers Park and the “Corridor"). So we lock our doors and set alarms. When I was a kid in the Brownsville section of Brooklyn, we never locked our apartment door except at night (and there was no vestibule buzzer). We stayed out to play until dinnertime (and in summer, again till dark), and walked to our friends' homes and to school and the library. By age ten we were allowed to ride the subway alone to the main library, museum, Botanic Garden and even into Manhattan. But to put things into perspective, sometimes I go downstate to my engineer's studio on his farm near Sparta to record (no distractions, and he “gets" my style of music). Even so far out of town that it's hard to get cell signal (and he has satellite TV because the cable companies won't come out that far), he still uses alarm systems on his home, studio, garage and even the gate to the farm. It really is a different world these days.

Good morning,

A mild breeze and cool, but we will get into the low 70's today.  A GOOD Fall day.  Later going to meet cousin Mary at the Rec Center and walk.  I think we may end up buying a month's pass.  Thought we'd walk around our neighborhood, but seems daily things get in the way.  If we have to 'pick' a time to meet at the Rec Center, we make THAT happen.  Hmmm, I have obviously been thinking I have more control than I do.  Well, there are so many projects here and it is easy to get started and not want to quit till I reach a certain plateau --- and all else goes out the window and no walks.  So, off to the Center later. 

ChiSandy -- you and Dh are so right.  The time to live is now with a cruise in a few months if possible.  Sometimes we get on that little Ferris wheel of work and there is no good exit showing.  Guess we all have to CHOOSE special dates in life --- when to quit work and retire, go somewhere special, do something we have never done and then do all you must to make it take place.  There is probably not a totally innocent one among us.  I am still working though my life plans got intermixed with the slight care and daily feeding of feral cat areas as well as keeping my menagerie at home -- so there are things I won't likely ever do for that reason.  I did a lot of travel when I was a lot younger so that is my contribution to myself.  Of course, my appreciation level for those things have changed a lot ( so many things I know I didn't quite notice when younger ) so when I feel the need to 'travel' now there is the Internet, National Geographic and listening to those who have gone on a trip, cruise, or just spent the hot summer away from La and in Mn.  Thank you Carole --- I did enjoy it. 

Hope you are all going to have a merry Monday.  I'll be back later on.

Blessings,

Jackie

I believe Zyban and bupropion are the same thing.

Zyban is exactly the same as Wellbutrin....except for the color of the pill and Zyban’s higher price! I take generic bupropion, which is even cheaper.

Even if your efforts seem for years to be producing no results, one day a light that is in exact proportion to them will flood your soul.

Simone Weil

Today has whizzed by. I played golf and then rushed to pick up my mother for a 1 pm appointment with her PCP. I didn't even change clothes. It was a routine 6 mo. visit that her dr. insists upon. Now my mother should have her prescriptions for another 6 months.

Now I'm sitting in my chair and resting. Gone are the days when I would have come home and gotten something done in the several hours remaining before "sit down" time.

I have started crocheting again and am making a cute hat for which I have no use. But I learned yesterday that I can take crocheted or knitted hats to the Mary Bird Perkins cancer center where a lot of women have their chemo. The hats are displayed on a counter and women can pick out any hat they would like to wear. I really like this idea so that is what I will do if my hats come out "wearable." I've never crocheted hats before. The yarn I bought is very nice.

Here's hoping the Cubs win their game tonight.

What wonderful things to read --- hats ( if nice ) for cancer patients and our wonderful vets.  I wonder how many Vets have never been to Washington D.C. ?

So hope the hats are wonderful ( and I bet they will be ) and to giving the U.S. Vets a special thank you for their long ago service.  For some things feeling deep emotions is a wonderful enriching.  Thanks to your local TV station Puff. 

Jackie

Hi Linda,

Sorry to hear the BIL is still a major pain and huge frustration for you.  I'm always happy when my 'crosses' are no worse than they are, but this is on-going and though there could always be something worse I suppose ---  this is in your face right now.  Nov 10th. sounds a long way off to me.  Seems almost as though he could get a bit too comfy waiting that long --- but hoping by saying that I don't make things worse. 

You are right --- anger and resentment only take a toll on us.  Others mainly either don't even know or bother to care if they do.  I don't know if it would work for you, but when I went through some of my desert periods ( nothing right - everything wrong with no answers ) I often visualized the outcome I wanted but that does take some time.   No instant fixes -- but while I was getting through my desert it helped and who knows, maybe in the end maybe made things not only come out right but a little faster.  Just saying though that I had to put up the good pictures for some time before I noticed feeling more in charge and more peace.  Never quite know how to effect the things that turn out to be what you need. 

So -- thinking about you and your situation with lots of hope and positive energies.

Jackie

Hi ladies. We got back from Montana a few days ago. Went to visit my hubby's cousin who has stage four lung cancer. I'd never met any of his cousins and they all got together a few times while we were there. Really nice people. Right before we went to Montana I was diagnosed (again) with severe anemia. I think they're probably going to want to do a colonoscopy and camera endoscopy again as they haven't been able to figure out the cause. My MO agreed before we left that I could stop letrozole in February, as that would be 5 years of adjuvant therapy - 8 mos of tamoxifen and 4 years 4 months of letrozole. While we were gone, though, hubby and I started discussing how terrible I have been feeling and I decided to stop letrozole - four months shy of five years. I'm telling myself that this is a "break" from the drug. But I'm seriously doubtful that I'm going to start taking it again. I feel much better. The joint pain is almost completely gone. My hands, feet and hips don't feel like they are breaking whenever I move them. My mobility has returned. I can walk up and down stairs without the extreme pain I was having. The constant diarrhea I've had for the last year is gone. On Monday I also received an iron infusion, and now I feel almost like my old self. I have ENERGY!!!! The only still downside is that my asthma isn't under control. We're thinking that it's possible that I'm allergic to warfarin, so I'm going to move to Xarelto to see if I do any better on that.

Anyway, that's what's been going on with me. I'll try to be on a little bit more, as I miss all of you, but was just so down in the dumps I didn't feel like posting anything. Four more iron infusions over the next two months. I've got to say that I had no IDEA how much the anemia was affecting me. I hope they can figure out the cause and fix it without surgery.

We can choose to gather to our hearts the thorns of disappointment, failure, loneliness, and dismay in our present situation.  Or we can gather the flowers of God's grace, boundless love, abiding presence, and unmatched joy.  I choose to gather the flowers.  -Barbara Johnson

I am feeling very "crappy" with sinus congestion accompanied by sneezing and much nose blowing. We badly need rain to clear the air of all the pollen from rag weed and other fall blossoming weeds. Yesterday I closed up the house and ran the a/c. DH has been suffering from the same symptoms.

Hello to everyone. Good to hear from you, GG.

Carole, I wish you success with your weight loss. And I am rooting for the Cubs too. It's sad that the Mets are ahead 6-1 right now. It's great that you're making crocheted hats to donate. Please post pics when you can.

Puffin, the event for the veterans sounds lovely and good to be a part of. Whenever I see an ad for Wounded warriors, it breaks my heart that the current vets and soldiers get zip. I feel my first donation has to be to cancer and then I'll have to check finances. I don't know about any of the bills yet. Hoping my insurance takes care of a big chunk.

ChiSandy, you'll go on that beautiful cruise and enjoy it. It's a great idea. Live now!

Garden, hi and welcome back. Sorry your trip was for cancer reasons. Glad you stopped the drug that was taxing you and that you feel better.

Jackie, thanks for your suggestions about visualization. I am going to work on that and just get back to my positive affirmations.

Warning: rant is next ...

Today, I went off on BIL and told him that what he's doing is not good enough and he's got to do better to stay with us. That I'm supporting him financially and he's under our roof and it's not going to last much longer. He said he's applying to jobs online. I said there are jobs posted in businesses all over and he's got to get out and apply himself. He said, "it's the best I can do," and I said, "I heard that before and you better make a plan for do better, cause it's NOT good enough. On Monday I want a report on what he's done in the house and jobwise. That it's time that he took responsibility for his life and not stuck his hand out for help because help from us is not continuing. It's coming to an end... that he's got to start living our way and doing what and how I ask him to do stuff because the way he's doing it is not working."

I had to stay seated because I was shaking all over and he didn't come closer to me than 6 feet. He kept saying, "I don't have the money" and "it's the best I can do" and I said, "you better pick up your game because it's not good enough. Your way ended 4 months ago and things have changed for us for the worse since you've been here. You haven't honored anything you promised to do or pay and I'm not the government; I won't stand for it, so you better figure something out fast."

He said he was going to a friend's house to work on a resume and I told him to ask his friend if he can move in there and store some stuff. I think he knows I'm serious.

I told DH about what I did and he thinks it's good. Since dh and I both work days and the idiot works at 5pm, it's hard for us to make time to talk to him when we're not sleepy. And, he dances around the truth like it's poison. So, we have to be alert and catch his bs. DH said he's going to talk to him and tell him that he can't control me anymore. That I have cancer and can't live like this. And give him options for performance within 30 days. Said he's kind of glad I said what I said. So, he knows the tack to take it from here. The other day he was telling me we have to be "reasonable" and I said no, reasonable is over.

I think what's happening is that I'm angry at him AND at cancer. I don't want cancer, to worry about radiation and recurrence and my breast swelling and turning red. I don't want to ask my boss if I can work from home because I'm so exhausted after 3 days and my bones ache too. I'm not even on any of those drugs mentioned, but my joints and hip bone hurts after walking from the parking lot to the car. I've got to figure this out so I can feel better and live. It's time to not just work ... I want to enjoy life.

Before BIL came, I started saving for a trip to Israel with the synagogue. Well now, I don't want to be with those people, but I do want to go there. I haven't been able to save as much. DH brought that up and said, "save for any trip and Israel; we'll go.

I am having weakness in my attitude and my body right now. I choose to believe that this will pass; that G-d will restore me to health and that dh and I deserve to do fun things and go on vacation.

Before I got on, I found my book of affirmations. I'll work on that a little tonight.

Thanks for letting me vent. I think I'm going to call a counselor at the cancer center I went to on Monday. This is just a lot to handle right now.

Linda