Stupid comments ....

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  • rosesrx
    rosesrx Member Posts: 458
    edited September 2015

    Rusk a when I first read your post I thought it was your MO that said the stupid remark. Sending you down that dark road without offering you other causes for the pain... like chemo, Neulasta, post surgical pain and then offering a solution such as pain meds, PT, massage etc. But I don't like to be told how to act or present myself especially by a stranger. Hugs to you as you wait for scans and results.

  • LAstar
    LAstar Member Posts: 1,574
    edited September 2015

    I don't know if GIFs work here, but I like how the gals from Broad City deal with someone who tells them to smile.

    http://giphy.com/gifs/broad-city-ilana-glazer-abbi...


  • lulud471
    lulud471 Member Posts: 89
    edited September 2015

    LA Star that GIF is incredibly funny!

  • rosesrx
    rosesrx Member Posts: 458
    edited September 2015

    great gif I think I could do that for a select few.

  • tjh
    tjh Member Posts: 469
    edited September 2015

    I was at a large fair yesterday, waiting in line for a popover...A 30 something women said..."I am so glad you are getting out, when my mother had breast cancer she really tried to get out as much as possible" I said "I am done with treatment and just getting strength and hair back, so I feel great". Then she said..."That's good my Mom's hair never came back". I let my daughter stand in line to wait, what I didnot say back was Fu** You, Bit**. I am very proud of my restraint.

  • Ruska
    Ruska Member Posts: 69
    edited September 2015

    Tjh,

    I'm proud of you too! I were you I would definetaly speak up my mind!!!! Why people are like that?! 

  • bride
    bride Member Posts: 382
    edited September 2015

    Ruska,

    I'd happily slap that "smile" ass for you. I've had a spot on my spine my MO is watching but it isn't growing and is all of 1mm big. But today I got a call from my MO's nurse telling me I now also have a lung nodule. She ended the conversation by telling me to have a great day. No, we're not crazy, but the world is doing its damnedest (or damndest, if you prefer) to make us nuts. The clueless are everywhere. Damn them!

    bride

  • bride
    bride Member Posts: 382
    edited September 2015

    tjh,

    You should be proud of you self-restraint. When I was bald and still had my JP drains in, a woman pursued me into the bathroom saying, "sir, sir, you're in the wrong restroom." I was wearing a scoop neck top with lace on it. I asked if there was a special restroom for women with cancer. I have no idea why baldness is taken as an invitation to make stupid, nasty, condescending remarks, but it is. Some days, even now that I have hair, I can't match your restraint. I'm impressed!

    bride

  • bride
    bride Member Posts: 382
    edited September 2015

    LA Star,

    Loved the gif!

  • BigSister-2015
    BigSister-2015 Member Posts: 342
    edited September 2015

    the most stupid thing I heard was the morning after my BMX with recon using TEs.

    My nurse, who had been a hairdresser before nursing school, commented, "Isn't it amazing that there is no pain after a mastectomy?"

    I couldn't even respond. All I could think was that sheshould go back to hairdressing!

    There is very little pain when all you get is a mastectomy, but recon is a whole different ballgame.

  • tjh
    tjh Member Posts: 469
    edited September 2015

    No pain because of the good drugs...

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited September 2015

    LaStar hope you don't mind that I brought the gif here :)

    television animated GIF


  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited September 2015

    So I had a slash from under my arm down to my breastbone and had no pain???????

    Um, no.

    Leah

  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited September 2015

    There is very little pain when all you get is a mastectomy, but recon is a whole different ballgame

    That is really incorrect. Yes, recon is painful,, but having a mastectomy w/o recon is not a walk in the park either. Interesting that you posted under Stupid Comments, cuz you certainly made one yourself. Thanks for telling all of us who didn't have recon, that we really didn't have pain.

  • Beachbum1023
    Beachbum1023 Member Posts: 1,417
    edited September 2015

    Hmmm....I had zero pain after surgery but trying to get dressed and stay dressed all day is painful! And annoying. Makes that whole recon issue a probable no. I can't imagine how bad that could suck for the rest of my life when being without recon is no walk in the park. Oh the things they never tell you.............

  • Keys-Plez
    Keys-Plez Member Posts: 304
    edited September 2015

    Hey glennie...BigSis was quoting her stupid nurse.

  • DianeMS1
    DianeMS1 Member Posts: 10
    edited September 2015

    When I told my boss I was diagnosed and would be taking time off, altho I had no idea what treatment to expect and was scared to death, his response was oh, my aunt just had a double mastectomy and she's doing great. When anyone visited and my sister was present, they would ask about my cancer, and before I could say anything, my sister would say oh, she was stage 1 and they caught it early, so she's fine. It's been two years, and I still have anxiety, but a lot of people think you should just get over it and move on.

  • Keys-Plez
    Keys-Plez Member Posts: 304
    edited September 2015

    Dang Diane!! I wish there was a LIKE button. Or an "im so sorry you have to endure such stupidity" button.

    MODERATORS Are you listening?

  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited September 2015

    I did not get the impression that she was quoting her nurse,, as the nurse's comments were actually in quotes. However, my apologies if I misunderstood.

  • Keys-Plez
    Keys-Plez Member Posts: 304
    edited September 2015

    Hug

    I love to hear you stand up for yourself. Lord knows we need it.

    You're like the rest of us. We're sick and tired of stupid. Go get'em, Bulldog.

    Heart


  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited September 2015
  • BigSister-2015
    BigSister-2015 Member Posts: 342
    edited September 2015

    glennie19--I stand corrected. Funny how I just didn't think myself! Lol

    I suppose I was thinking of my dad who traveled this breast cancer journey just a couple years before me. He was in his 80s and told me how surprised he was at the lack of pain after his mastectomy. Silly me. He did have much less surgery than we did!

    He gets to go for yearly mammo on the remaining breast. I can't imagine how they get it under the machine. :)

  • Keys-Plez
    Keys-Plez Member Posts: 304
    edited September 2015

    Big Sis/Glennie...Well I'm confused which is normal. And appatrntky stuck my foot on my mouth agsin. Apologies to both you ladies.

  • Jillybee
    Jillybee Member Posts: 32
    edited September 2015

    just found this thread...has made me smile...Thankyou everyone!

    I have have had "oh,you are a nurse so you should know"

    How are YOU....looking at your boobs.

    "I could never have all that"or "I would want to remain flat",after I decided on a DIEP

    OR...."yes,you are so lucky to get rid of your tummy,wish I could have the same"

    Fact is,op has not been entirely successful,have chronic seroma,and will probably remain with a big tummy for ever....that is another story.

    Oh yes,am NOT BRAVE,nor is it a BATTLE😊 rant over.....X

  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited September 2015

    Jillybee: did you have Paget's in both breasts?

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited September 2015

    Jilly, my seroma took about a year there abouts. time will tell hang in there :)

  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited September 2015

    My PS finally went back in and excised the capsule that had formed around the sloshy abdominal seroma. Problem solved.

  • Cheesequake
    Cheesequake Member Posts: 264
    edited October 2015

    "you look so great with no hair! I think you should keep that look!"

    Not having hair has been extremely stressful on my marriage. Keeping this look would probably end it. Of course, this person has no way of knowing that, and stating an opinion isn't stupid, but I really wish they'd kept this opinion to themselves.

  • SummerAngel
    SummerAngel Member Posts: 1,006
    edited October 2015

    I'm not sure this is a stupid comment, but it's most definitely an insensitive one: I was talking to my (body-image obsessed, even at 76) mother the other day, telling her that reconstruction was going well and next on the to-do list is fake nipples. Her response was, "Well, the next time you're dating someone that will be a good test of his unconditional love. He would have to love you unconditionally." Thanks mom!

  • LAstar
    LAstar Member Posts: 1,574
    edited October 2015

    Your mom is a gem! She sounds like the true test of unconditional love herself. She will be rather surprised at good reconstructed nipples look too.

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