April 2015 Chemo Crew... Starting in April? Please join us!

Jen: Very happy that you're getting positive news from all the docs! ) Hope you're resting easier since seeing the BS!

Addie, lookin good even with all the bandages!

Renee: Hope the skin issues improve quickly! Also hope your week is going well...I can only imagine the anxiety that came with returning to work, and at a different job no less! If its too much, do you have the option of taking more time off? I had 2 part time jobs at that I haven't worked at since BMX. I really should get back to one of them before long..depending on if I have to do rads. I was a "floater" in an office environment in one of the jobs, which I enjoyed at the time..I helped out whichever department needed me, so I had no set duties. I don't know if I could handle learning new tasks often at this point... I may give that one up.

Andrea: Congrats on the movie, how neat!! Wish we could see! Its not on youtube anywhere? lol Hope rads speed by for you and your soreness improves. Those danged headaches...glad they're not as bad as before, but they are never fun!!

Positive Spirit: YES, I'm still doing chemo...3 more Taxol to go! I'm set to finish on October 6th.

This group has been such a Godsend for me. I feel like my friends get tired of hearing nothing but medical talk, but its almost like what else is there to talk about? I've been very blessed in that my close friends have stuck by me, and I get out with some of the girls a couple of times a week. I'm going to an Initial Outfitters party tonite....lucky me, some of my family members have gotten involved with this company, so every couple of weeks there is a party to go to. Good thing I'm into earrings these days. lol

The weekend is almost here...YAY!

Hi ladies, I have a question for you, actually two - one medical, and one emotional/psych.

Are we supposed to still be extra careful about infections and such? Or should our immune system be back to normal - I mean, I'm 7 weeks PFC, so I assume that hand washing my daughter's dirty underwear is not going to put me at risk?

The emotional question is longer. I feel like I've handled this BC thing pretty well emotionally. I've gone through the stages of grief, and I've had the occasional worry moments, but overall I've been ok. I try to be positive, but what are you all doing about thoughts of the future and having an asterisk or disclaimer in your head of "if I'm here"?

For example, we had our house painted this summer, and I was talking to my mom about how it was done the last time compared to this time, and I said how it's supposed to last for 10 years, but I guess we'll see. Then in my head, I think "if I'm here to see it". Or when my youngest ran in to me excited to tell me that when she has 4 children (two girls and two boys :-) what she is going to name them - and I responded to her that I can't wait to see that, but in my head I wonder if I will. Do you guys do that? Is that negative thinking? If so, how do you stop it? How can you replace those thoughts? I remind myself that none of us knows if we are going to be here tomorrow, but we don't go around thinking that with every future thought (What should I make for dinner tommorrow? If I'm here to make it . . . "). So, why can't I just focus on a future?

On a somewhat related subject - I haven't had too many awkward social moments or friends acting weird (thank goodness!), but I have had a few. Earlier this week I was talking to a mom that gives my daughter a ride to school when I cannot, and she was asking how I was doing, blah blah the usual, and she asked if I was talking to anyone (counseling), and I said no, and she said that she knows someone who went through this and found a good place, and she would get me the contact info. Then she repeated it. I didn't know what to say - just said thank you. But that is weird, right? She still hasn't sent it to me either. Anyway, it makes me realize that my outlet/counseling has been this group, and I also want to voice my appreciation for you all. This group really has been more than any counselor or group could be.

Lynne

Thanks again you guys for being here though the good times and the bad. I did get a little peace of mind from my surgeon- mostly along the lines of " well, when I had cancer, he knew right away, so if he thinks its 95% scar tissue/sutures/granuloma/ then he's probably right.". So, I am doing my best to let it go until my next appointment.

Lynne, on Rads- I never heard corn starch- just lotion, lotion, lotion. I'm a little over half way, and my hide is holding up, for what its worth. Also, I am in the same dark place as you, I think. I'm going to meet with my Onc. here in a week or so to talk antidepressants, and start seeing my therapist again. Seems pretty normal.

Addie-LMFAO the BloodHound Gang. YES! I think my DH still has one of their CDs rolling around in his truck somewhere. Good stuff. Bet you never thought you'd be getting so many requests from women on the internet to see the girls LOL!

Also, Oh my god, I wonder how we can all get in on that vaccine study! It would be a mirical...

Ginger! So Close!!!!!!!! Way to go lady!!!!!

10 days post I would think you would be okay. Just take it easy and don't over use your arms. wear something loose fitting. That's what I would have done if I had a wedding to go to after my surgery. Good luck and I will be sending healing vibes your way.

Jen- that is great! You don't need this hanging over your head for a month. Proud of ya for pulling this to get things done the way YOU WANT. luvya gf

In the interest of full disclosure I unceremoniously riooed this off from Sula, on the pinktober revolution thread. I am getting more pissed off every day as we near 10/1.

Hi ladies,

I'm in the Sept group, well possibly Oct with a possible hiccup with insurance. Anyway, how often did you guys have to see you MO in person, not including emergencies? I'm getting AC every 2 weeks for 8 weeks and Taxol weekly for 12 weeks. I'm trying to do the math with $s and would appreciate getting an idea in general of how often one actually has to see an MO during chemo. Thanks and best wishes!

Thanks little blue--- ..even before Taxol, before every infusion? I don't have any medical concerns and it seems therefore they'd be monitoring the lab work all of us need to have done routinely so I'm hoping there's a way it could be less. The 12 x before Taxol would set me back financially for cash. It's either I get to stay with the infusion center I really like and all my providers are and have been from there but MOs around here don't take my insurance or I go with the 1 that does take my insurance here but is a crappy MO just to get the infusion center I really like. Where my MO is while she is great, the center looks like a dump. This one near me where I've had everything done at is very classy and modern. So getting treatment where my MO is out over there. I'm trying to see if my MO can send the order to the MO that is at the site here and she can write that order and send it to the infusion center. My MO doesn't have privileges to send orders to the hospital here. So I'm trying to figure a loop hole, or can her and pay cash to the MO here, which is why I'm trying to get an idea of how much I would be paying for the MO here. Thanks-

Hi all -

Littleblue, good for you, getting the "thing" removed...if it gives you piece of mind it is worth it.

Jackbirdie, I love the cancer card! I play it at every opportunity. People tell me it's getting old, but I reply that there has to be some concessions to going through all this.

Lynne, my RO has never said anything about cornstarch...she just talks about moisturizing. I do have a bottle of baby powder which contains cornstarch and have used it a few times under my arm where it's quite sore...but the area needs moisture too so if I add lotion as well I end up with paste. So I am trying not to use the powder unless I wash it off before applying lotion.

Re the little film I was in - apparently it will be on YouTube or something like that "soon". I will let you all know when it is.

So I am nearing the home stretch - only 5 more rads to go! I had a bit of a meltdown today when I saw the RO. I didn't intend to, but I told her about my headaches and started crying and couldn't stop. I think everything is just hitting me all at once. I have been strong up till now but honestly, I don't know how much a person is supposed to take. Colon cancer followed by surgery and chemo, then bilateral breast cancer followed by double mastectomy, chemo and radiation. Then excruciating migraines, followed by near constant tension headaches. All this within the space of two years. I am also getting anxious about finishing treatment...I see my MO on Tuesday but then I will be cut loose and on my own without the safety net of the cancer clinic. I know I will be followed closely from here on, but it's still scary.

And my Ativan is at home (I'm at my mom's). I have one that the RO gave me to take tonight though. Getting tired of being dependent on pills though.

Andrea

Andrea- you have had way more than your share. I'd look into getting a gross of those cards printed. I'm so sorry. I could feel the pain and frustration in your words. Sending a hug. Wish I could do more.

Congratulations on the new foobs, Addie. Good, safe ones that won't try to kill you.

Andrea, my neighbor was going through a divorce when she had breast cancer and her husband had dumped her off the insurance while they battled it out in court, and she couldn't afford the COBRA. She talked to the financial aid office and they got her into a program that helped pay her costs.

Lynn, when do you stop adding the "if I'm here" mental statement. I don't know exactly when but you do stop. I'm doing it again on occasion, and it does annoy me. But my approach is to take it one day at a time - when I get up in the morning, I know life is uncertain and lots of things could kill me...the garbage truck may run over me, I may slip on the wet lawn and break my neck, I could choke on a chicken nugget, etc, etc but I don't spend any time worrying about things I don't know about. Since I know for sure I won't die of breast cancer tomorrow [or Saturday or Sunday.], I give myself permission to not worry about that either. Just save it for another day when there might be something I should worry about . I call it the "Scarlett O'Hara" approach, which is really not as frivolous as it sounds; giving yourself permission not to worry is quite a powerful affirmation.

Should have had rad 18 today but a thunderstorm knocked out power and they sent everyone home. Fortunately not getting radiation at the time, which would have been freaky. Of course, it would have been a good addition to my cancer adventure novel, or my breast cancer board game (still to be invented). So I'm on #17 and no one has mentioned cornstarch. I agree that cornstarch with all the lotion would be like being wrapped in pancake batter.

Artista, I did dose dense at a small hospital, so yep, every time. Sounds like it's different for everyone.

Yay for safe boobs addie! I know. We have to advocate so hard, because doing it in the first place is what saved our lives!

weird question, is it possible that a suture would not show up on an ultrasound? Because the end of my scar where the proverbial lump is is blue under the skin....as if there were something black like suture lodged under there. Sorry to keep obsessing on this. Ugh. I have a meeting that competes with my excision on monday. A very important meeting. Sometimes I hate my life.

Big hugs to everyone. Someday this will all be a bad dream!

Artista: I saw my MO before each AC, then weekly for the first several Taxol's....then she changed to seeing me her every 2 weeks. She gives me a physical exam when I see her, discusses any SE I'm having, along with reviewing my labs. Research co-pay assistance programs if the MO's office doesn't have anyone to help you do that. Hope everything works out for you!

Steph, hoping all goes well for you on Monday!! Let us know how are you are when you can...how long will you be in the hospital?

Good for you littleblue, glad you'll have answers soon...waiting a month made no sense! Did you have to reschedule your proceedure?

Lynne, most of the time I feel like I will beat this, but wonder how the SE of chemo will affect me as years go on. Other times I get scared by my HER2+ status and wonder some of the same things you mentioned. Mostly right now, I'm like gko...I do a great Scarlett O'Hara! WOW, busy days ahead for you...good luck!!

Andrea, you've been through alot....I can only imagine how tired you must be of all of this. I had migraines after my hyster years ago, and it was totally draining. I know the headaches are only one part of what you're dealing with now...I hope they resolve so you can start feeling better!! Congrats on being so close to DONE with rads!

Glad you've had a good day Addie! Keep it up over the weekend!

Jackbirdie, I want one of those cards too!