April 2015 Chemo Crew... Starting in April? Please join us!

Jackbirdie

The only Irish whiskey I'll drink is Middleton's. Reminds me of a trip I took to the auld sod with my dear old Pop (Hi Daddy!)

We had one together every afternoon. Never forget it. It's not cheap either. But back in those days I made big money. But Jen, I'll bring a bottle if we ever meet in person. Now try to breathe. It will be over tomorrow. Hugs to all here.

ksusan

I'm glad he could get you in today and turn around the ultrasound quickly. Consider using enough Ativan to take the edge off, then use those cognitive skills as Addie suggests! Key words: "Scar tissue." If you have access to either Barbarella or Reform School Girls, they might be good for your psyche.

KBeee

It sure has all of the characteristics of scar tissue from what you describe. Glad he is being thorough. Keep us posted.

littleblueflowers

I bet Netflix will bring them to me, Ksusan. Slowly start rebuilding my badass persona- fake it till you make it, right? The gap between true courage and just fronting is wide and deep, with me. Yes. Breathing. Taking Ativan. Finding things to laugh about. Working. Exercising. Praying for the healing of the world. Watching Barbarella and Reform School Girls Tonight! Listening to a lot of 3 days grace. Someday, ladies, someday---we will be drinking from joy, not from fear and sorrow!!!!!!!!!! After all, its the water of life, not death! I told my MO that I needed 2 ativan and a shot of whiskey to calm down- he didn't seem concerned. Guess I need to be clearer---I WANT SOMETHING STRONGER!!!!!! yrrrf. typical man. Two more hours until Ativan time! I feel you holding me together, sisters. Thank you.

mamajencoz

Im in the same boat when it comes to bumps and pains. Since my last taxol ive had foot pain and lower back pain. I asked the nurses today when I went in for my Herceptin and they said it was normal and could be the norm for 3 months. Oh my! One nurse said look chickie.. you've had crap pushed through your veins for months its not going to dissappear over night....kinda like when you have a baby.. your not going to be a size 6 a week or so afterwards just because the baby is out. It takes time. Such wisdom. .. but i want to be done and better now (stomping foot)

I get my 6 month followup mammogram tomorrow morning. I'm nervous since the last one didnt turn out so well.... ive tried to convinced myself the chemo wouldn't let anything grow. Plus I'm getting the new 3D one. That ought to be cool to look at right? I am wondering how they are going to squish it with my port on that side... ativan and wine for me tonight or ill be up all night. Im going to miss my solid night sleeps when thats all gone. Sorry.. just being real

How about my hair... in the last week ive seen growth to now it sticks out over my sunglasses. Lol and as far as color?!? Ive got black, brown, blond, AND grey. What the ...

littleblueflowers

Wow, Mamajen- you win the prize for the most hair!!!!!!!!!! I hear you on wanting to be better RIGHT NOW. And not scared anymore either. I'll be joining you with the Ativan tonight- I'll raise a toast to good results for you!

mamajencoz

cheers littleblue... thanks

Jackbirdie

just keep in mind LBF, and all my other sisters here, that it takes bravery to admit fear and shortcomings. Nuff said.

Addie29

mamajen I have had back back since I started chemo and neulasta. It started about a week into chemo. My doctor and nurses pretty much said the same thing yours did. They also told me if the pain is tolerable and more like a muscle acheyness it's usually nothing to worry about. I know mine is muscular because I keep getting spasms down my right side and when I bend that direction is pulls horribly. I keep nursing my back with baths, do terra deep blue run and massages. It seems to help. Try to do the same and see if it helps. I hope the pain subsides. And I hope Jenn can have some clear happy thoughts.

DizzParkMom

In the chair for the last time.

Got a quick meeting with the S.O....but still need to meet with P.S. in 3 weeks. In the beginning, I was 100% BMX with tissue reconstruction. In the Middle, I was so tired I just wanted BMX with no reconstruction. Here at he end of treatment, I find myself less emotional and starting to really figure out the best choice for the long haul that isn't completely based on a knee jerk emotional reaction. So where do I find myself? NO FREAKING CLUE? P.S. is going to start precertification with insurance as a BMX. I am also worried about the possibility of them (insurance) denying the contralateral side...and having to cover half? of a BMX.

Anybody else have insurance that says in the benefit book that contralateral side isn't covered, but is covered if they are pressed by the S.O.?

Jen, some info from my consult in case it makes you feel better. She said that with the contralateral bmx, all but 2-5% is removed. So only that 2-5% remaining breast tissue could form a new tumor AND even with triple negative, our overall rate for a new, seperate tumor is the same as any other woman out there. 1 in 8 for any type, and then 10-20% of those are triple neg. So it seems like the odds of a new tumor on the contralateral side hae got to be so so small...obviously not impossible, but so very small. Plus, you just finished chemo. I hope the extra info makes it that much easier to relax tonight.

KBeee

Dizz park, Congratulations on finishing chemo!!!!! So happy for you! I have never heard of insurance denying contra lateral side.

Jackbirdie

just a thought... I was also worried about insurance denial. I made sure in my consult with the surgeon that I had two EXTREMELY concerning issues about only having a umx. I never mentioned insurance, just made sure he knew I have had serious back and neck pain/issues during the course of my life, and since my breasts were very large I felt such weight imbalance after a uni would exacerbate those problems. Second, anxiety and mental health issues would cripple me if I had to endure the additional level of scans, scrutiny, biopsies (and I was told my breast tissue was dense so likely anything weird would be biopsied) on the remaining breast.

He documented everything. I checked, it's in my patient portal. Insurance paid. There was never even a discussion.

Addie29

ugh got my first blood work/check up scheduled. Isn't until October and I'm already nervous. What will they check for? Usual blood draws? Like calcium, bilirubin and all that stuff they monitored during chemo? And possibly a tumor marker test? I know my MO said he doesn't always like them because they aren't always accurate

Jackbirdie

Addie- my MO doesn't do tumor markers either, at least not in my case, and in the absence of other clinical data. They do watch liver enzymes and all the other regular stuff, in case something, or some combination of things start to look funny. At this point they will also just want to see your bodily functions are returning to "normal " Hah! After chemo.

I, and think a lot if women in our situation find it a bit unnerving, after all of the treatment, that they really don't have much to do or say after tx is done. Feels weird. But stay calm. Breathe deep. Write down questions you have about follow up in the future, what to expect, etc. I asked for an appt with a nurse navigator to talk about a "survivorship plan". As much as I dislike the word survivor I am curious and hopeful that there may be some benefit to this, and also upgrade my visibility on their radar, which has dropped precipitously since final chemo. Or at least that's how it feels.

littleblueflowers

Congrats Dizzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yayyyyyy for last chemo! Last chemo for Dizz!!!

It is helpful to hear those statistics. My MO even said it was scar tissue, but he said he could see I was freaking out and would feel better with an ultrasound, so that's why he offered it to me. Sometimes I need to get patted on the head by the patriarchy. Just gotta hang on until I get ultrasounded tomorrow!!!!! Oh, Ativan, How I do love thee...

Addie, that sounds about right. They also checked my Vit. D levels. My MO does do tumor markers. He says they show trends, as in if they spike once or twice it doesn't mean anything, but if they go up and up over the course of a year, they might indicate a problem. He also says they show inflamation, not cancer. So, if you were sitting by a smokey camp fire the night before they will be elevated the next day. Basically, at this point they just want to make sure you are recovering from all the horrors they have put us through...

DizzParkMom

Glad you got a next day U/S Jen. This time tomorrow you will be able to pocket away this experience and talk me down someday when I am worried. 😨

Forgot to mention :

1) Got gabapentin for neuropathy pain.

2) MO said I could skip neulasta since it's my last infusion. So now I will know how much pain came from the neulasta vs the taxotere.

Okay, back to icing. 1 hr 10 minutes to go!

DizzParkMom

Addie29

that what I was thinking also. They just want to make sure my body is recovering from all those lovely toxins. I feel sorta lost. I don't need rads so that's it I'm done. I do nothing. Blah blah blah.

Addie29

congrats dizzparkmom!!! 👍🏻🎉🎊🎈

gkodad

I have a little more than three weeks of rads, and then I'm done (except for port removal and Arimidex). But done with the constant office visits. I don't think my doctor will be doing a lot of testing. My PET scan was negative before I ever had chemo, so I think just blood work to make sure I'm getting back to normal. I don't think I'm going to miss it at all, but I might be wrong.

No naked man butts at radiation today. Just curious birds. I thought he was going to come inside but he decided against it.

.

Rpayton

congrats dizzparkmom!!! Hooray!

Jen, hang in there. All will be good!!! Make future plans, sweet dreams.

Starting to turn funky color pink and lumpy areas. Eeerrrghhh.

Jackbirdie

Dizzparkmom- Congratulations on finishing chemo! Ringing the bell for you.

🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🔔🔔🔔🔔🎉🎉🔔🔔🎉🎈🎈🎈

Alibeths

congrats dizz🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Stephmoen

congrats dizzoark mom!! I'm jealous of you guys who has an oncologist who checks tumor markers nine says no I just don't understand if they aren't reliable on but at least it's something to monitor me with

littleblueflowers

Gko is that a sandhill crane? Trying to hang in there...whiskey and 2 ativan. I'm not as brave as I used to be 😢

ksusan

Yay, Dizz!

Gkodad--handsome fellow! Sandhill crane?

melb44

congrats dizzpark!!!! So happy for you!

KBeee

Congratd Dizz!!!!!!!!

Jen, Answers tomorrow ... Thinking all good thoughts for you.

GKO, I would walk the other way if I were him too. Radiation would not be kind to him

GingerChi

Congrats Dizzparkmom!! YAY!!!!! You did it! :):) Love the pic, you look so happy!!

Littleblue, sorry you're going through this stress and worry.......so glad you get your test tomorrow so you can rest easy!!!!

Renee: Glad your return to work is going well. Hope the new department works out and you really enjoy it! Sorry about the skin issues! That all sounds painful!

Positive: Your picture is soo good! Love all that hair. Glad the meds are working well together.....Hope you're feeling great!

mamajen: your hair looks fab too, wow!!!!

Gko: I love your adventures!!!! Happy today was an improvement after last week's scenery. LOL

I got felt up today too, by my breast surgeon at my 6 month checkup. Have to see her again in 6 months, she is suggesting reconstruction.... as in implants. I told her the only recon I want are these dog ear flaps removed. I guess she'll refer me to a plastic surgeon when I'm ready for that.

Tomorrow is family Doc appt, then chemo. Wednesday is heart echo. I'll be glad to have some days where I don't have to walk into a hosptial or Dr's office.

Hope you all have a restful night....for those of you doing rads, hope its going well!

Jackbirdie

GingerChi- I am very interested in what your PS says. I also have terrible dog ears and two little bizarre mounds of tissue right in front, about an inch apart, in the middle of my chest. I made an appt with a PS also, hoping it can be repaired/improved without too much pain. In fact I have been told it could possibly reduce some if the post- mastectomy pain I still have 9 months later. I still take pain meds. I need to stop but I can't just muscle through the level of I pain I have.

Also, I know insurance has to pay for reconstruction. But I have heard "scar revision" is debatable as to coverage. I guess it falls to medically necessary. Do you know any guidelines for removing the dog ears?

Thanks. I'm sorry I've been butting into this group a lot lately. We have a lot in common, har.