April 2015 Chemo Crew... Starting in April? Please join us!

I'm glad he could get you in today and turn around the ultrasound quickly. Consider using enough Ativan to take the edge off, then use those cognitive skills as Addie suggests! Key words: "Scar tissue." If you have access to either Barbarella or Reform School Girls, they might be good for your psyche.

I bet Netflix will bring them to me, Ksusan. Slowly start rebuilding my badass persona- fake it till you make it, right? The gap between true courage and just fronting is wide and deep, with me. Yes. Breathing. Taking Ativan. Finding things to laugh about. Working. Exercising. Praying for the healing of the world. Watching Barbarella and Reform School Girls Tonight! Listening to a lot of 3 days grace. Someday, ladies, someday---we will be drinking from joy, not from fear and sorrow!!!!!!!!!! After all, its the water of life, not death! I told my MO that I needed 2 ativan and a shot of whiskey to calm down- he didn't seem concerned. Guess I need to be clearer---I WANT SOMETHING STRONGER!!!!!! yrrrf. typical man. Two more hours until Ativan time! I feel you holding me together, sisters. Thank you.

Wow, Mamajen- you win the prize for the most hair!!!!!!!!!! I hear you on wanting to be better RIGHT NOW. And not scared anymore either. I'll be joining you with the Ativan tonight- I'll raise a toast to good results for you!

just keep in mind LBF, and all my other sisters here, that it takes bravery to admit fear and shortcomings. Nuff said.

In the chair for the last time.

Got a quick meeting with the S.O....but still need to meet with P.S. in 3 weeks. In the beginning, I was 100% BMX with tissue reconstruction. In the Middle, I was so tired I just wanted BMX with no reconstruction. Here at he end of treatment, I find myself less emotional and starting to really figure out the best choice for the long haul that isn't completely based on a knee jerk emotional reaction. So where do I find myself? NO FREAKING CLUE? P.S. is going to start precertification with insurance as a BMX. I am also worried about the possibility of them (insurance) denying the contralateral side...and having to cover half? of a BMX.

Anybody else have insurance that says in the benefit book that contralateral side isn't covered, but is covered if they are pressed by the S.O.?

Jen, some info from my consult in case it makes you feel better. She said that with the contralateral bmx, all but 2-5% is removed. So only that 2-5% remaining breast tissue could form a new tumor AND even with triple negative, our overall rate for a new, seperate tumor is the same as any other woman out there. 1 in 8 for any type, and then 10-20% of those are triple neg. So it seems like the odds of a new tumor on the contralateral side hae got to be so so small...obviously not impossible, but so very small. Plus, you just finished chemo. I hope the extra info makes it that much easier to relax tonight.

just a thought... I was also worried about insurance denial. I made sure in my consult with the surgeon that I had two EXTREMELY concerning issues about only having a umx. I never mentioned insurance, just made sure he knew I have had serious back and neck pain/issues during the course of my life, and since my breasts were very large I felt such weight imbalance after a uni would exacerbate those problems. Second, anxiety and mental health issues would cripple me if I had to endure the additional level of scans, scrutiny, biopsies (and I was told my breast tissue was dense so likely anything weird would be biopsied) on the remaining breast.

He documented everything. I checked, it's in my patient portal. Insurance paid. There was never even a discussion.

Addie- my MO doesn't do tumor markers either, at least not in my case, and in the absence of other clinical data. They do watch liver enzymes and all the other regular stuff, in case something, or some combination of things start to look funny. At this point they will also just want to see your bodily functions are returning to "normal " Hah! After chemo.

I, and think a lot if women in our situation find it a bit unnerving, after all of the treatment, that they really don't have much to do or say after tx is done. Feels weird. But stay calm. Breathe deep. Write down questions you have about follow up in the future, what to expect, etc. I asked for an appt with a nurse navigator to talk about a "survivorship plan". As much as I dislike the word survivor I am curious and hopeful that there may be some benefit to this, and also upgrade my visibility on their radar, which has dropped precipitously since final chemo. Or at least that's how it feels.

Glad you got a next day U/S Jen. This time tomorrow you will be able to pocket away this experience and talk me down someday when I am worried. 😨

Forgot to mention :

1) Got gabapentin for neuropathy pain.

2) MO said I could skip neulasta since it's my last infusion. So now I will know how much pain came from the neulasta vs the taxotere.

Okay, back to icing. 1 hr 10 minutes to go!

that what I was thinking also. They just want to make sure my body is recovering from all those lovely toxins. I feel sorta lost. I don't need rads so that's it I'm done. I do nothing. Blah blah blah.

I have a little more than three weeks of rads, and then I'm done (except for port removal and Arimidex). But done with the constant office visits. I don't think my doctor will be doing a lot of testing. My PET scan was negative before I ever had chemo, so I think just blood work to make sure I'm getting back to normal. I don't think I'm going to miss it at all, but I might be wrong.

No naked man butts at radiation today. Just curious birds. I thought he was going to come inside but he decided against it.

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Dizzparkmom- Congratulations on finishing chemo! Ringing the bell for you.

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congrats dizzoark mom!! I'm jealous of you guys who has an oncologist who checks tumor markers nine says no I just don't understand if they aren't reliable on but at least it's something to monitor me with

Yay, Dizz!

Gkodad--handsome fellow! Sandhill crane?

GingerChi- I am very interested in what your PS says. I also have terrible dog ears and two little bizarre mounds of tissue right in front, about an inch apart, in the middle of my chest. I made an appt with a PS also, hoping it can be repaired/improved without too much pain. In fact I have been told it could possibly reduce some if the post- mastectomy pain I still have 9 months later. I still take pain meds. I need to stop but I can't just muscle through the level of I pain I have.

Also, I know insurance has to pay for reconstruction. But I have heard "scar revision" is debatable as to coverage. I guess it falls to medically necessary. Do you know any guidelines for removing the dog ears?

Thanks. I'm sorry I've been butting into this group a lot lately. We have a lot in common, har.