April 2015 Chemo Crew... Starting in April? Please join us!

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  • Alibeths
    Alibeths Member Posts: 656
    edited September 2015

    coconut oil as a vaginal lube?!!!!

  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited September 2015

    allibeths...yup! As long as yr sure you aren't allergic!

  • Positive_spirit
    Positive_spirit Member Posts: 218
    edited September 2015

    back on tamoxifen, along w Ativan and an antidepressant. So far, so good. image

  • AndreaC
    AndreaC Member Posts: 220
    edited September 2015

    Hi all!

    Addie, great idea re the card exchange!

    Re the cost of cancer treatment...in countries such as mine with socialized medicine, there is no deductible and the cost of hospitalization, procedures etc. is covered. The only thing that may not be covered is medication. We have programs for people who do not have extended medical insurance which does cover the cost of many (but not all) medications. I have extended medical coverage through my work and have only had to pay once for a medication - ondansetron (Zofran) - because my oncologist messed up and did not fill out a form to get the cost waived. Even the cost of the Neulasta was totally covered ($2500 per injection). Thank goodness for insurance! It is actually illegal to be without basic medical insurance in British Columbia.

    Gingeel, my last chemo was by far the worst. I was sick for a couple of weeks afterwards, with diarrhea, weakness, fatigue, fevers etc. I ended up in hospital with a very low potassium level. So glad I only had to have four cycles! Rads are a breeze compared to that.

    Re depression post treatment - it is a very real thing, I went through that a little last year after chemo for my colon cancer. I called it "doctor withdrawal" but it was really lack of attention. I had been so used to doctor appointments every three weeks for six months. I felt cast adrift when it was all over! I did feel better after my colonoscopy in November which was clear.

    My rads are going well...only a couple of weeks to go! My skin is a bit pink and my underarm is sore and chafed but aside from that, all is well.

    hope you are all having a good weekend!

    Andrea



  • Scarlett152
    Scarlett152 Member Posts: 175
    edited September 2015

    positive spirit - first off, Great Picture! I just wanted to pass on that even though I had been on an antidepressant and occasional ativan pre-diagnosis, the first few days of tamoxifen were still a little rough. Mostly I was just really cranky, short tempered and emotional. HOWEVER, that all seemed to settle down after about 7-10 days. I'm on my second month now and emotions seem to be fine. Now weight and hot flashes are another story...although Gabapentin and magnesium have helped with the hot flashes. I also get monthly zolodex injections so hot flashes are also from that. 😡

    Anyone else have really severe foot pain in the morning and after sitting for while? I have not found anything to help with that. I'll try anything! Seeing my MO Thursday.

  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited September 2015

    Found what feels like a new lump under the scar next to my sternum on the prophylactic side. Ugh. Freaking out.

  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited September 2015

    Okay, deep breaths, my friend. First, remember that your scars are still changing shape as they heal. Second, remember that you've increased your range of exercises and activities, which both can cause shifting of fluids and tissues. Third, poking it isn't going to do anything but make it swell. Today or in the morning, you're going to call your MO to ask for an evaluation. You're going to try to respond to your emotions with deep breaths because all your fear does right now is wipe you out. To the extent that you can, you're going to tell yourself that everything is okay rather than exploring other possibilities.






    And stop poking it, damn it! Love you.

  • Rpayton
    Rpayton Member Posts: 235
    edited September 2015

    littleblue so sorry bad thoughts are getting you. Everything is exactly as Susan says above. And I don't blame you for freaking. We all go there it is post traumatic stress and normal. Stay in this moment right now, breath. Stop the mind from future tripping. All is in a higher power's hands that we will never control. Your energy, prayers and thoughts are needed elsewhere. Remember worry and anxiety will pass. Let it go and know you will feel better soon. Do something nice for you. Praying for you and all here always.

  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited September 2015

    Thanks ksusan. Shot of whiskey and two ativan should help shortly. I just need to pull it together befor Dh calls tonight. He's heading to a fire in california. No matter what it is, it won't help him to know. Don't poke it. Ok not poking. Deep breaths. Damn atitan tolerance. I cant put m family thru this again.

  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited September 2015

    Thanks renee! Thnks for praying.

  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited September 2015

    Do something nice for yourself (besides Ativan and whiskey, I mean). Be mindful--don't trip and whack an arm or anything.

  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited September 2015

    Remember... You just finished chemo...it is on prophylactic side. Suture granulomad and scar tissue are both very common. Call MO or surgeon in the morning. If they can not see you tomorrow then point it out to RO. (((Hugs))). Cancer and its associated worry just sucks

  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited September 2015

    Yes. Ok. I will call the MO tomorrow. And get RO to feel it up since it's my Dr visit day. Trying to work my way back from blind panic...

  • Stephmoen
    Stephmoen Member Posts: 563
    edited September 2015

    not fair that we will never really feel totally cured and we always have to worry about a new lump and syptoms of mets although I believe and hope it gets better with time..hang in there littleblueflowers don't let your mind wonder to the dark side youre kickass and you kicked cancers ass :)

  • Stephmoen
    Stephmoen Member Posts: 563
    edited September 2015

    positive spirit great picture! Your hair is coming in wonderfully I can't wait to have hair back on my head!!

  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited September 2015

    There is every reason that you are frightened, but not every reason that it is frightening. Tomorrow you'll get more information and, I hope, reassurance.

    If I were there, I'd suggest that we take a 5- or 10-mile walk, or dance in the living room.

    I thought of you today when I uttered a sentence that would have made no sense a year ago: "Emu in a two-ounce bottle!"


  • Alibeths
    Alibeths Member Posts: 656
    edited September 2015

    I hate worries. I know you r fine!!! Just sucks....every little thing, we think cancer. Who the hell could blame us?! Ugh. Hang in there and get felt up MANAÑA for piece of mind. X

  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited September 2015

    Steph, you are right...this place sucks and I'm getting worse. You ladies are keeping me sane.

    Ksusan, I wish we could go walk or dance! I dont know what I'd do withe out you guys. I heart you too!
  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited September 2015

    I can't imagine that this dangerous fire season has helped your equilibrium, either.

    So what's your whiskey?

  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited September 2015

    allibeths, yes. Dear god I hope so. I miss getting felt up every 2 weeks...

  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited September 2015

    Wishing my Jewish friends a sweet new year and a peaceful 5775.

  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited September 2015

    Jen, you are not getting worse. I think during chemo we had lots of good days where you could almost forget you had cancer for a while... Carry on activities like a"normal" person. With radiation, we have a daily reminder disrupting our day screaming cancer at us. Do I think you are not getting worse, you are simply dealing with this new situation. I feel like I have been more negative too lately. I think we just need to get through this next rotten step and things will improve greatly. At least that's what I am telling myself. Any new cool t shirts?????

  • DizzParkMom
    DizzParkMom Member Posts: 316
    edited September 2015

    Platelets are 118 tonight!!! Still less than normal, but 5 points higher than before tx #7. So it looks like final chemo #8 is a go for tomorrow. It's so close I can taste it...metaphorically speaking of course...because I can still hardly taste ANYTHING.

    Jen, sending you reassurances that it's ok. We have been through so much in such a short amount of time and we are still standing. Our breasts may have let us down, but the rest of our bodies have carried us through this "mutant uprising"...even when we filled it with toxic sludge and blasted it with radiation. No matter what we throw at our cells, they bounce back. Our bodies are protecting us and rebuilding us WAY more than they are attacking us. The odds that something scary is growing in the contralateral side after everything you've recently put it through are low (not impossible, but low). After seeing what our bodies are capable of, I fully put my money on your bodies ability to kick the ass of any mutants that try to step out of line!

    So, now that I've said all that, I acknowledge that someday (when I'm feeling a lump) I won't believe a word of it and I'll think its a bunch of crap..and I'll be scared as HELL.

    P.S. Is it so weird that we all jump at chance to get any doctor to feel us up?

  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited September 2015

    ksusan - jamison! I know it's a protestant whiskey but I still like it :) and may your new year be sweet as well!

    Yeah, I suppose having to hide so much of this from Dh is really getting to me...but that's how it has to be for now.

    My brother is trying to create a shirt for all of us as we speak! Thanks kbee..,it's like the fight has gone out of me. I know this is my second lump scare. Finding it hard to stay positive and not obsess. Don't know what I'd do without you guys. I hope I can see my MO tomorrow...

  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited September 2015

    DizzParkMom, great news! I'm so glad you can hit your last chemo tomorrow!

    LB, Jameson is a fine blend, smooth and very drinkable. I'm a single-malt gal, and I also appreciate a nice peaty, salty dram.

  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited September 2015

    I know it is really hard when DH is not there to share fears with. Trust me. I know how terrifying it is to find new lumps. Hopefully you can find something to distract you tonight until you go to the doc tomorrow. I know a bunch of my Sept 2013 gang had suture granulomas develop at their scars, and they appeared seemingly overnight. Stupid cancer. Sorry it's causing so much havoc. If I was not at work, I'd have a drink with you from afar !!! Tomorrow we check another rad off the list and you will hopefully get lots of reassurance. Keep us posted

    Dizz Park, yahoooo for platelets!!! So glad you will be done tomorrow.

  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited September 2015

    keep us posted Jen!!!

  • Addie29
    Addie29 Member Posts: 307
    edited September 2015

    thinking of you Jen. Please let us know how you make out. Like others have said its most likely scar tissue buy our minds always go to mets. Always. I hate this disease not only for what it puts us through during treatment buy afterwards.

  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited September 2015

    Thanks for being there ladies- Well, I saw my Onc. this morning and he felt me up- said it felt like scar tissue from where the sutures are at the end of the scar/ or were. Maybe I just never felt it before? He knows I'm a paranoid mess though, so he got me an ultrasound, but not until tomorow at 1:30. I bet I can eat an entire bottle of Ativan between now and then!!!!!!!!

  • Addie29
    Addie29 Member Posts: 307
    edited September 2015

    think happy thoughts Jen. Push those negative thoughts right out of your mind.

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