Starting chemo September 2014
Comments
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anyone still have intermittent pain in breast treated? I just started having random pains in mine: not sure whether to call Mo or not
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Toby, My rads breast is still sore sND swollen wit some intermitrant pains. Some from rads and some from the lymph node dissection in Feb. I had a negative mamo a few weeks ago so I think it's just normal sloowww healing. Love, Jean
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Thanks Jean! I talked myself into obeying the "three week rule" -- pain no more, so am not calling yet. Good to know my symptoms are much like yours
Prayers for you dear one
K
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Hi ladies!
Sorry I have been absent, but it has been a busy summer! Hope all of you are doing well, and that life is settling down and becoming normal again.
I am having a very rough patch right now. My cancerversary was last week, and today marks 1 year since my BMX and I am in such a funk! I have been near tears or in tears for over a week now. I am usually pretty good about talking myself up and out of this stuff, but for some reason, this has hit me so hard! Please tell me I am not the only one, not crazy, and that this will pass. Still dealing with all of the divorce crap too, which isn't helping, and I am struggling my butt off financially, and it is all so overwhelming. Somebody pass the wine and the chocolate!
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Hi ladies. Nice to hear from some of my chemo sisters. It's hard to believe it has been almost a yearme since we all started chemo. Long difficult journey this has been for all of us. I've been taking Femara since the end of January and at age 72 will probably take it for life. I also have 4 more herceptin / perjeta infusion to go every 3 weeks till the end of October if my heart stays strong enough. Other than neuropathy, some left over swelling and underarm tenderness from rads I have few sides left from treatment. I have some pretty bad hip and knee pain but I think that is arthritic. Trying to do 10 miles a week of weight bearing exercise to protect my bones.
Bad hair day, you have been through so much and have lost a lot. Please be gentle with yourself. I for one still have crying jags. We all need to mourn what we have lost and then find the strength to go on. Love, Jean
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BHD, it is so good to hear from you. I was getting worried that "he who shall remain a sh*thead" was bothering you again. Yes, dear, I had my one year BMX anniversary earlier this month as well. It was strange to look back over my calendar from a year ago and see what I have been through and what was ahead of me for the next few months. I might as well have lived at the doctors offices!!!! I just can't believe it has been a year, and look at me and you. We are still here, I have only lost two body parts, a toenail and have curly/kinky grey/white chemo curly hair, but I will deal with that and the stupid comments I get. "Your hair is so cute. How did you get it so curly?" It is called "chemo" -- dumbs**t!!!!!!
Have your 15 minutes of pity party and be done with it!!! You have way to much to look forward to. God knows, I had mine.
Is Little E back in school yet? I bet he has grown a foot. We are going to my son's house tonight as he is coming home to surprise his wife. He has been working out of town and hasn't been home for about 6 weeks, I am so excited!!! But we can't stay long, because someday I want to be a grandma!!!!
It is so good to hear from you again, BHD. Come visit more often!!!!!
You go Jean!!!!! You rock!!!!
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This is me and my baby just before he leaves to go back to Oklahoma to work (yes those are tears). I miss him already!! They now tell him he may be there for the rest of the year. But look at that hair!!! That is 9 months PFC untouched. CRAZY stuff!!!!!
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No matter, you and son look wonderful! and the length of your hair
BHD: I was in a deep funk for about a month and realized that it was the beginning of this journey: mammos, biopsies in July/ August, and I think I am still recovering.
I remember how you had to plan for the weekend, stocking up on movies and games for E, when you felt like crap. You are a strong lady: you got this, and us!!!
Jean, as they say, you rock
Kath
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Thanks ladies! I love you all and you are so precious to me! Finally had a minute to look back at posts, and your pictures are fab!
My hair is crazy pants! I need a cut (and an eyebrow wax!) so freakin' bad, but I truly can't afford it! I hate the vow of poverty that came with this cancer diagnosis!
He who shall be called sh!thead is still a sh!thead! You can't fix stupid or stubborn! Don't know why I waste valuable moments of my life trying to reason with somebody who is so unreasonable! Grrr!
Little E starts school this Weds! This summer flew by! We moved from the apartment into an adorable little rental house. Then the sh!thead got ugly about money again, and I have been riding the struggle bus ever since! (I would like to run him over with that bus some days!) Meeting with my lawyer tomorrow to figure out what comes next. Lawyer wants to hand him his @$$. I am trying to take the high road. It's pretty hard some days, especially when you suddenly have no idea how you are supposed to pay the rent and buy food for the kiddo. But I keep on keeping on.
I have been a hot mess lately with emotions. It's like pms times a million! But since I have no girly bits anymore and I take Tamoxifen, I can't blame it on the hormones. This has been the hardest year of my life, and every time I think I can see my way out of it, some other issue pops up. I am now dealing with bone pain, and I am terrified to even call the doctor. My therapist says that most cancer patients develop PTSD. I can see that. Every time I get a headache, I am convinced that I have a brain tumor now!
Still fighting with SEs. The bottoms of my feet are covered in blisters, the neuropathy is ridiculous, and thanks to chemo brain, I can no longer read out loud. Thanks Cancer, for stealing the bedtime routine from my little man!
My beautiful new boobs are a mess too. The cancer side refuses to drop and fluff. The left one (that was injured in the bus accident a few weeks following MX) has dropped too far, and when I lay down, the implant slides over into my armpit. Ugh! It needs to be redone, but I honestly don't know if I can handle one more surgery! So I stuff them in a heavy duty sports bra and try not to wear anything with a pattern so they don't look so lopsided.
I will get through this! I will get through this! I will get through this!
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Oh badhairday, I feel for you. It has been a long difficult year for sure. I am dealing with a lot of hip and knee pain. Limping through life now. I woke up crying in pain at 3:30am and am now sitting with a heating pad. Cancer has stolen so much from us all. Now to find a way to go on. A dear lady from another thread just posted "don't give up!" Love, Jean
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There goes my baby! Off to 2nd grade! All I could think of this morning as I watched him get on the bus was, "Please God, let me be here to take this picture for the next 10 years!"
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What a handsome young man!!!! He is growing up so fast. You will get through this!!!! I know I have said that to myself several times and I am still here and plan to be for at least another 10 years and beyond.
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Hi Ladies. I haven't been around lately because I've been on vacation. We went back to NC to spend time with my family and also spent some time in DC. Then, I was busy dealing with sick pets and getting the kids back to school.
I love reading your posts. We've been through so much together.
Badhairday's comment about PTSD and thinking symptoms are cancer makes me think of a relatively new topic (but very active) on the board: Crazy town. Here's a link. https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/84/topic/833500?page=1
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Hey friends and sisters!!! I put off telling this group last --- cause I didn't want to upset you all. Labor Day weekend my abdomen hurt so bad I went to a walk in that also does scans right near me.
I had been to my PCP who didn't feel anything.
some of you remember I also had a hysterectomy right before starting BC treatment, as I had a VERY small contained area of uterine cancer cells.
Well, a few escaped, and I have a tumor resting on my colon, and small nodules spread throughout abdomen. First two weeks were a true nightmare.
I started carboplatin two weeks ago while my MO fought Blue Cross to cover Abraxene. This is taxols cousin. If you remember I had a horrible burn reaction and had to stop taking it. But, it is also the prescribed drug for uterine. Blue denied me again, but my MO got the pharm company to pay for it.
So, two tx down. We all feel like it is working already: abdomen much softer, etc.
If I did not have my faith I honestly do not know what I would do. I am learning for me, with my MO, we will manage this cancer. I am hearing more and more that cancer is a chronic disease like heart disease, or diabetes, that is managed for life.
I will find out Friday how many chemo tx. I was almost ready to go wigless, thank God I had not yet (for work reasons)
This was last Friday back in the chair. Prayers please that I tolerate this really well!!!!!!!
Hugs and Love, can't wait to hear from yall with good news and updates!
Kath
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OH, Toby, NO!!!!!! You can do this, again. I know you can. I will add you to my prayers as I have a CT Scan on Wednesday. Hang in there, sister.
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Toby, sending you lots of prayers and so much love! I am so sorry that you are going through this again. It goes without saying that we are here to offer you our support.
Really, really f@%!ing hate cancer!
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Kath I am praying for you. Love, Jean
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Toby,
Oh cr@p! I'm so sorry you have to go through chemo again! Great that you got the drug costs covered. Stupid cancer. -
How are you doing Toby? Hope all my chemo sisters are ok.
Looks like I may be getting a hip replacement in the spring. Finally gave in and made an appointment with a surgeon. Love, Jean
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Many here have donated . Thank you !........Wandering around and cheerleading again
Donate today, make a difference directly in all our lives. By supporting BCO, we support each other. Thanks and Hugs
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/110/topic/834331?page=1
Link to the mainboard donation page
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Thanks ladies! Iin the chair now
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You can do this, sister!!!!!!! My prayers are with you.
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Miss all of you! Back to staying up until 2-3 first night of tx from steroids. Saturdays or Sundays I have a good day all around or not so good. It flip flops.
Hair going again tomorrow. thank goodness I was still wearing my wig to work.
SEs not bad: Worst is edema in left leg with redness and pain. I was so scared it was a reaction to the Abraxene and I would have to stop. First tumor marker went down by 85 points with the carboplatin AND the Abraxene. it is really working, Praise Him!
My faith has only gotten stronger, and you have a differrent perspective second round. You know what to expect, get back in the routine, same fears (work performance, staying organized, trying not to gain weight.
I had just gotten off the 20 I gained during 6 months of chemo. 5 months.
I will stay in touch-- Hugs, everyone lets stay in touch with eachother!
Nomatter, Poppy, Badhair, how are all of you?
Hugs
Kath
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Toby, you can do this. I finally finished my last herceptin / perjeta last week. Now on to recovery. Probably needing a hip replacement in the spring. I finally gave in and will be seeing a surgeon in December. Arthritis, not cancer related. Thanks be to God. Love, Jean
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I miss all of you too! You gals are and will forever be at the top of my prayer list!
Toby,you are amazing! I admire your attitude and your perseverance!
Jean, everybody I know who has had hip replacement says that it is hard, but well worth it in the end. Wishing you the very best!
I am struggling pretty hard these days. My bones ache all the time. Goodbye Tamoxifen, Hello Aromasin. But the pain persists. I have now added a rheumatologist to my list of doctors. Based on the tests I have had so far, he believes I have either lupus or psoriatic arthritis. My brain is still foggy, and I find myself losing the word I want or saying a completely different word than what I mean. I'm still so tired all the damn time too! I have gained weight, and yet I don't care enough about it to get my fat ass off the couch and do something about it. Still a mess emotionally as well. So much stress, so little support, and not enough money. I am seeing a therapist, in the hopes that she can help me push through this and take back my life. Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer. Some days it just hits me hard, and I guess today is one of them.
Little E is doing great! He keeps me going, that's for sure! PSR, soccer, cub scouts. If it wasn't for that little guy, I would never have to put on pants!
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Geez.....ladies, I thought we all were doing superb. I always look forward to reading what you are up to, but WOW, I had no idea. I thought my life was busy with my annual scan, 3 month check up, trying to find another breast surgeon to make me completely flat and the best one, my husband (child) has been sick with a cold
Toby, second time around, I cannot imagine the heartbreak. I guess you don't want to see my one year PFC hair pictures?
Jean, really??? Of all things, new hips?
BHD, you are amazing!! After all you have been through, you just keep trudging forward.
Whers is Rose and PoppyK?
I don't want to rub it in but, GO ROYALS!!!!!!!!
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Oh bad hair, I am glad you shared with us: Nomatter, of course I want to see your hair! Had my DH and one son shave it over the weekend: honestly not nearly as bad as the first time!
Jean, as you know prayers with you!
Stay in touch all!! Badhair, you are doing all you can: even finding some humor: I agree, if I didnt have to I would stay in bed in my robe all day!!!
Kath
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I don't know about you ladies, but I am glad October is almost over. I am so tired of all this "pink" crap I could just burn it all!!!! Although blue isn't a bad color for October, GO ROYALS!!!!!!!
Anyway, BHD, you are so right and funny, if I could go to work in my pajamas, I would!!! Hang in there things will get better. Anytime you need us, we are here for you.
Okay, here are my one year pictures and now it is time for a cut, what a mess!!!!!!
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Pardon my French ladies, but Pinktober can suck it! Every time somebody mentions it to me, they receive a reality check!
Nomatter, dealing with a man cold might be harder than cancer! They are such babies when they're sick!
As a Cleveland native, I am jealous of your Royals! We got nothing! Well, I guess we have LeBron, but I am not a fan of him, and I loathe basketball!
Your hair looks crazy amazing! I love it! I just had my second post chemo haircut to get rid of the chemo curls. I am now sporting a pixie cut that I get lots of compliments on. Those curls were just too much to fool with, and I wasn't feeling too pretty with my curly bedhead afro!
Toby, you are so strong! And I don't mean that in that lame way that other (non-cancer having) people say it. You are living through this with such grace!
Still waiting on answers from all of my scans and blood work. Trying not to drive myself too crazy, but you all know how that goes. Little E is a good distraction, and we are gearing up for Halloween. Last year I was too sick to go trick or treating, so this year I am determined to push through and be as festive as possible. He wants his dad to join us,so he who shall not be named will be along. I may need a stiff drink afterwards! LOL!
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I'm around, just not checking the boards as often!
Badhairday, Maybe you should have that drink before he who shall not be named shows up. I, too, think of all of the events I missed last year when in treatment. I hope they find out why you are having so much pain. Changing from Tamox could help quite a bit. Chemo brain is awful. I hope your therapy helps you. Depression and PTSD are common during and after treatment.
Jean, I have a few acquaintances who have had hip replacements. They are so happy with their results and wish they had done it sooner. I hope you have the same results. Through it all, your attitude is so positive and uplifting!
Toby, Your insights into chemo 2.0 are so interesting and informative. I wish you didn't have to go through this. Cancer stinks.
I still am stiff and sore, don't sleep well, am fat, and don't think clearly. Thanks cancer! Chemo brain is really bringing me down. But I am doing more of the usual mom stuff.... driving carpool, taking care of the kids, football, marching band and so on. I stay in bed a lot more and sometimes (like today) don't get out of bed until 11am. My oldest son graduated high school. He did it the hard way (long story), but he is done. Now he needs to find a job (hopefully some holiday work) until he starts college. My middle son (high school junior) is wonderful. His grades are great. Still has the same girl friend. The only problem is he stays out too late... not doing anything bad, just hanging out at friend's houses. My youngest son is doing well in 7th grade. He is too hard on himself and expects perfection. He certainly didn't get that from me! We went on vacation in August to North Carolina to see my Dad, his wife, and my brothers. Fantastic time. We also spent a few days in DC.
I must add that I don't know what I would have done with out you during chemo. I think of you often and include you in my prayers.
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