Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Chevy, glad to hear you had a great birthday. I think you lie about your age, though! LOL. You're much too young at heart to be 78 'cause that's older than I am.

Blondie, it's great that you're extending your vacation and are having a good time.

Welcome back, Teka. We missed you.

Hi to everyone else on this fine Sunday.

Carole, if I was going to lie about my age, I would say about 50.... Ha! My Daughter gave me a silver angel wing one time that said "If you didn't know how old you were, how old would you be?" I would be 50..... ! But I only FEEL like I am 50 in my head.... My body is not agreeing at the moment...:)

To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury;
and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable; and wealthy,
not rich; to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly; to listen to
stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart; to bear all cheerfully,
do all bravely, await occasion, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual,
unbidden, and unconscious to grow up through the common.  This is to be my
symphony.  -William Henry Channing

Chevy, I would probably pick 50, too. I am one of those women now who looks in the mirror and wonders, "What happened to YOU?" Still I'm thankful to be able to enjoy everyday life.

Octogirl, the wedding sounds like an ideal opportunity for you to enjoy getting together with family. I hope you have a great time.

We had a busy morning. We were up at 7 and took a thermos of coffee with us down to the boat. It wasn't windy, for a change, and we went out on the lake for about an hour and did a little fishing. No catching except for one small fish that went back into the water. Then we drove into town to the gym, did our workouts and then went to breakfast.

Now dh is doing some carpentry work for the resort owner and I'm free to do--or not do--whatever.

Hope everyone is having a good Monday.

Six blouses for $41 sounds like a steal, Jackie. Especially at Macy's. I find blouses at Kohl's for $5.95 but the merchandise is less expensive on the whole.

I thought about Rita today and realized we haven't been hearing from her lately. I knew she would understand how pleased I am over a good round of golf today. We played Eagle's View, the small course close to us. It is a par 64 course and I shot 77. I had pars and bogies and one birdie and only 3 double bogeys. I actually played better than dh who is a much better golfer. Wish I could play to that level more often.

We're having another beautiful day here in northern MN. Last night it got down to low 50's. We pulled up the fleece blanket toward morning. Today it's in the 70's. Perfect. I would have to move here if it were summer year round.

Happy Tuesday to all.

As I look back at the entire tapestry of my life, I can see from the perspective of the present moment that every aspect of my life was necessary and perfect.  Each step eventually led to a higher place, even though these steps often felt like obstacles or painful experiences.

Wayne Dyer

Morning all

All is quiet on this end, which you know, for me is a welcome reprieve. My DS goes back to So Carolina this weekend, after 9 weeks of camp. The camp goes for two more weeks, but he has to go back to teaching Tues. I will miss him SO much.

We finally sat down last weekend to discuss my finances. I am so confused. I was of an era where Bob did all financial stuff. I knew how much he made, and what we spent, but 401k's and IRA's were strictly his. He would make me look at them every so often, but that was all I did, really, is look. Now they are mine. There's not a fortune, but there's enough that I have to get them in order and make a will. So Rob gave me the questions, and I started making calls Mon. Oh my how confusing! I can take all the money in the IRA and move it to a regular savings account without having to pay any taxes or fees, but anything I take from the 401k, I have to pay a 20% tax on now! and that may be adjusted at tax time, depending on which tax bracket I fall in to. But wait- I need to take $9,900 out right now because Bob would have been over 70 1/2. (I end up with $9100 after taxes). Then, there is the fact that I own two houses that are still in my name and my husbands. And they are entirely different situations. We lent Nancy and Scott the down payment in the house in Ga, but they have paid the mortgage, taxes, upkeep, etc since day one, so they just have to give their siblings back 1/5 of the down payment from their inheritance when that time comes. But this house in Fl was bought in 1978 and there is 40 years of equity in it. The daughter who lives here now pays all the utilities and up keeping, but the equity is shared equally by all 5 siblings. She can't afford to buy it outright, so we have to figure out how to work that out. I think I have to refinance both in order to take Bobs name off and put the girls names on, but maybe not. I have reached the point where I need a professional to see that everything is set up correctly- but do I need an accountant, an estate lawyer, a financial planner, a tax lawyer?? And how do I find an honest one?

The silver lining in all this ( besides the fact that I have enough money to worry about) is that when calling about the 401k, as I was about to hang up, I asked if he could tell me who I had listed as beneficiaries - turns out I had no one listed at all. So that much, at least, has been taken care of.

Honestly, I think the easiest thing is for me to make sure it is all spent before I go.

Hugs to all

Anne

Anne, I was thinking ( though at some point I think you would have to get someone with total credentials ) that a number of issues could be ( if you have it there ) discussed and gone through with attorneys from  any local lawyer's college.  We used one of those once and it worked for us fine.  These men can do a lot of work on your behalf for a minimal price or free and everything they 'might' do would have to go thru one of their professors.  Still, I do think when it came time to put it all together in total legalese  and structured just the way you want it, you would need someone to collate it all with all the provisions you want in the documents.  It is just a thought and you could get a lot of answers and not worry about hourly fees etc. while you are figuring angles of how you wish for things to be.  Just a thought for you.

You're right though ---  I'd be less inclined about what I left for everyone as opposed to making sure that you have what you want and enjoy as much life as you wish. 

Jackie

Here's a disclaimer just in case. I am neither an attorney nor a CPA. And I have a hard time trusting either of the above, or a financial adviser, so Anne I do understand your questions.

I agree with Luvmaui, we are a second marriage for both of us, with children from both marriages. We had done wills, but hired a recommended Estate/trust lawyer and found many things that needed to be changed. A trust will not only make sure things go where you wish , but will make it much easier to distribute , without Probate. It may also protect you, after 5 years, from having a nursing home get your assets. It us worth the expense.

nother lovely day here, a few clouds but not too hot. Actually had 2 days on the calendar without anything planned!

Hi all, After my trip to California, we were home for 3 days. We ferried to CT and to New Hampshire for a wedding. It was wonderful to see good friends and enjoy the scenic setting. DH had caught my CA son's respiratory illness. On the way home from NH Monday, I came down with it. I do nothing but sit on the sofa or outside on a lounge chair. I had such big plans for this week before my return to full time work in 11 days.

Our kittie was in boarding again - She is growing, and her behavior is changing a bit. She is exploring the house and hiding on us, and playing a lot more. All good! She still sleeps most of the day but is starting to seek us out at night and whimper on the 2nd floor. We don't allow her in bedrooms because so many of our guests have allergies.

Kittie came home from boarding with itchy ears - they tell me she has yeast and gave me drops. Always a pricey surprise! (vet check, lab test, meds)

It is good to see some familiar "faces" checking in. The discussion about estates is very important and helpful to those of us who have put it off. I will put it on our priority list. The fact that a trust can protect assets is an important point.

Jackie, how nice that your employers are getting a new pup. It sounds like a good choice.

Chevy, your birthday sounded like a wonderful celebration. You are amazing...with all you do. Don't stop - have a wonderful year ahead!!

Anne, I agree with those who recommended an estate lawyer. You need a professional.

Teacher, sounds ridiculous to have to take 3 meds when 1 would do the trick. Hope you get the situation resolved in your favor.

Joan, what a bummer to come down with an illness with so little time left before you return to work.

Greetings to everyone else.

Good morning....I started a Z pack and got off the sleep meds, and I feel more energy today. Still congested and coughing, but I feel well enough to get dressed and run errands. I have not been out since Monday. I don't mind lying low, but there is so much to do before I return to work.

I took my indoor kitty for a walk outside today and she loved it and wanted to crawl away and hide under things. Of course I did not let her. She is slow to move and rather clueless. I want to get her an outdoor enclosure - has anyone tried one for an indoor cat? I'd like her to spend time on the deck with me.

Hi

Joan, so sorry your vacation ended with sickness. My son flew to So Carolina this summer to bring his wife and daughter down for a few weeks. He was sick when he left here and by the time he got back three days later, they were all sick. We had prepared a big birthday celebration for my granddaughters birthday, and it was too late to cancel (we thought). Since we couldn't reschedule, myDIL texted everyone telling them about the colds they all had. While we ( mainly my daughter who is in a wheelchair because of a broken ankle), had prepared food for about 20 adults and at least 15 kids, we had 8 adults, mostly family and no kids.

Had a great time yesterday. Went to a "luncheon", very casual, with a group of people I used to work with at the middle school. Everyone there is now retired. The best part is that our old principal was there. He is such a wonderful person. He is truly loved and admired by anyone who knows him. I got there at 1:30, lunch officially began at 2:00 and we didn't leave the restaurant until after 5:00. The school we worked at has changed principals 3 times since I left, and the turnover in teachers reflects the downgrade in leadership. Last principal was arrested at the guidance counselors wedding for alcohol and drug use and possession- enough to sell I believe. They now have an interim, and cannot replace the old one permanently until he has his day in court. Seems so silly and unfair to the students, but is based on innocence until proven guilty. He is currently working in one of the districts area offices.

One of the teachers that just retired in June was naming the teachers who have left this year. She ran thru about 10 names and the rest of us just looked at her- none of the names were ones we recognized and we have all retired within the last 5- 10 years. It's very sad, because working there was a joy, we really felt like a family. Everyone, from the principal to the janitors were treated the same, always. Mr C, the principal, knew 95% of the kids at the school by name and there were over 1200 students. He also was out side at dismissal every afternoon, directing traffic. What a role model and inspiration he was. The turnover in faculty then was extremely low- and usually was not because teachers were unhappy teaching there. Spouses got better jobs that required moving, or they quit to be stay at home moms. And he was there for 30 years- most of the staff that started with him were still there when he left.

Anyway, back to my financial situation- I have contacted a CPA that my girls used to babysit for, and he is out of town till next week, but I will set up an appt as soon as he gets back, and one of the teachers that works at the camp also works for Prime America part time, and he said he will bring one of their best guys over to meet with me. I have known Jimmy for over 20 years, and I know I can trust him to have my best interests at heart. The CPA has also said he will do as much as he can then will recommend someone to finalize everything.

Funny story re beneficiaries- when adding the kids to my 401k as beneficiaries, I needed to include their SS#'s. I have them for everyone but the youngest. I texted him to get it and his response was, " I don't need any benefits. I just want you to be here forever". I told him I want that too, but looking at the past, so far not many have gotten that chance, but that I would be here as long as I possibly can. He stopped by last night and I again asked he for the SS# and he still refuses. I told him his name, DOB and address were down so he was going to get something anyway. He changed the subject.

Gosh, I always intend to post a short note here and end up with a full length novel. Sorry

Anne