Stupid comments ....

returned to work this month and was bracing myself for some good ones. (Mind you I work in a hospital with people who should know better)

So far: everyone's first instinct is to pet my ridiculous post chemo afro like I'm a puppy.

Also: so ..what's your prognosis....really?

NurseShark,, tell them you are going to live until you die.  And then walk away.

sbelizabeth, that is such a sweet story!

Of course you can post, there is no judgement here on what you want/need to say in order to get it off your chest. I can only imagine how distressful it must be to lose a part of your identity, something that made you feel like you. I want to believe that people are trying to be kind and reassuring with their comments, they just haven't thought it through from the other persons perspective. As for the stories about others' misfortunes which rarely seem to end well, that is pure thoughtlessness! I think it's pretty normal to have shitty days where you feel like it's all too much and everyone and everything annoys you - or is that just me

DSW1976, the food and drink cures people talk about irk me to no end. I was told on a low carb group that I follow, that had I only stopped eating sugar and bad carbs soon enough, the cancer wouldn't have grown.Huh?! I had to lay into her, because I started eating better before anything showed up on the ultrasound, and bam, 6 months later....there it was.

whoa,, sbelizabeth,,,,, that is just so cruel!

sbelizabeth, this is one of those I wish i would have thought of that .........ask her who she wasn't nice enough too.

Elizabeth, toxic person. Is she easy to keep out of your life?

been lurking these boards a lot, these 'dumb comments' threads have me cracking up. so time to jump in.

It's oddly reassuring to know that it's not just ME, that everyone seems to be hit w/ stupid questions, insensitive comments (like my sister joking I'd make a good Uncle Fester for Halloween); or selfish family members who make it all about them, scheme to make this work to their benefit, or those that seem indifferent and put out; or otherwise well-meaning friends can be the worst. I'm more accepting of it now, that they 'try' to understand but will never really get how much this has taken over, how hard work and life are (and I'm doing well BTW).

Still my favorite from just about everyone is the presumption that there's help and support out there – and no I don't mean groups, newsletters, fundraisers but actual hospital-bill paying HELP – and it's just an email and phone call away. I'm like, uh NO and my head is about to split open from slamming it down on the desk so many times.. but if they want to call and make themselves crazy, power to 'em.

anyway, that's my why of saying THANKS. reading these posts have restored some of my sanity. :-)

I'm recently diagnosed and haven't shared with a lot of people yet but know dumb comments will appear soon enough but so far the best was are you sure you have bc. I wanted to respond "no just joking so you would feel sorry for me", somehow I managed to keep my tongue in check and simply responded with yes.

Ironically today's daily devotional was about watching your words as they have the power to bless or wound...seems like a lot of our friends, family and coworkers could use this reminder.

Tomorrow I see my BS for my first visit and can't say I'm looking forward to it...I'd rather take a vacation, but want answers and a treatment plan so I know what is ahead of me.

Thanks MsPharoah for the welcome and yes big sigh I'd rather not be here but glad I found the site is so much information to be shared and knowing we aren't alone. My family and friends comforting. Tough part is no family in Florida so lots of phone calls with my sisters and loving from my close friends.

Leftywasmyfavorite,

Glad you got to take yourhoneymoon/vacation you never had to Disney World. Coming to Florida in the summer or fall can be tricky as definitely is our rainy season. We are in that rainy everyday pattern right now and I would love to be able to sit outside for an evening but not today. When we get to take that next vacation it will be special and just a chance to enjoy without going here there and everywhere. A cabin in the mountains with a hot tub on deck will do quite nicely.

Hugs,

I am often struck by how similar comments affect us differently. I'm sorry the Uncle Fester for Halloween comment made imisswine feel bad. I think a lot depends on the relationship, context, tone of voice, etc. In my case, having my kid, who loves cosplay, plan all sorts of bald Halloween costumes for me was actually funny and the humor helped us both deal with things. I was actually going to do one of the costumes, but it turned out I was not quite bald enough on Halloween.

My husband and my brother shaved their heads in solidarity. I didn't ask either one of them to do it, but I was deeply touched that they did.

The three of us visited a botanical garden together and I went commando. I treasure the photos of us from that day! I put one on facebook and a friend commented, "You look like an exotic model." My heart sang for a long, long time.