Stupid comments ....

Sonjat,

true what you say about food, and offering to cook. I cooked for myself (Indian food) during chemo 25 yrs ago, still cooking and writing about it but I was quickly asked after I finished treatment by other patients if I could cook for them. So I did, strictly as a voluntary thing and have continued to cook for friends who ask me. This time around I still cooked until I got too tired near the end of taxol...plus I couldn't taste anything!

PS: we need a like button around here

Suladog, I know your good cooking was so appreciated. What a nice thing to be able to do. I hope someone reciprocated for you. And yes, a like button is a GREAT idea

You're awesome, Suladog!!! :

Beachbum, what?? does he not realize that you know they did one for someone else? again, people think breast cancer is one and done.

"after my diagnosis someone anonymously left a mason jar on my desk. it was decorated with a few drawings and the words "cancer dust". inside was purple glitter.. what???? I have no clue what the intent was but it's one of those Things that make you go hmmmmmmmm???????"

Sonjat, that's one of the craziest things I've heard. I thought you were going to say that the jar was full of money from your kind coworkers who wanted to help you pay your bills! Wow, that DEFINITELY makes one go hmmmm...

Like death warmed over?

I have been lurking on this thread for a couple weeks being highly-entertained, and today I truly laughed out loud at sas-schatzi's STFU (shut the fuck up) comment.  Some people you need to smack up-side the head more than once. 

I have a very nasty strain of BC running from my dad's side of the family.  Both my oldest sister and I are "endurers".  She has lost 1 daughter to BC, and her oldest daughter is battling with ovarian cancer.  I KNOW the steps to this awful dance.  So when I "got the call" 4 years ago, the first thing I said to myself, "Oh fuck me.  I do NOT want to do this."

But I did, and I continue to slug my way through it.  I never took any prescription medicine regularly and now I have a ziploc bag of bottles.  Let's see ... Gabapentin for the peripheral neuropathy that prevents me from walking any distance at all (compliments of Taxotere).  Tamoxifen for ... well, you know.  It creates its own avalance of SEs.  Zoloft.  Now blood pressure and cholesterol.  And bone density.  A bunch of supplements to help offset SE's of the other drugs ... it's just stupid. 

I can honestly say I did not have too many stupid comments from people, or I just chose to believe they truly meant well.  If you have no direct experience with this disease and choose not to educate yourself about it, you're just flapping your lips.  One of the best things somebody said to me was "I am so sorry you have to go through this."   Yeah I run into people I don't see often, and they generally say "You look great!" (implied:  "You looked like chit there for a while, glad you're not dead.")

No wait, I've got one ... "You have such a nicely shaped head, you look good bald!  You can totally rock that!"

And  ... GO!

208Sandy, you didn't flunk--you're working on your master's degree! (From one state iv to another, laughing so we don't cry.

That sounds like a wonderful photo. Shetland ponies are so little and cute, yet they can endure and thrive in harsh conditions.

When I told a friend at work, she started crying and said, "I don't want you to have breast cancer." It was such an immediate, heart-felt, gut-level response I was moved to cry with her.

The most hurtful comment came from a good friend when I explained my mastectomy (left breast) allowed me to see my heart pumping. She said "How creepy!"And here I was thinking it was cool... however a, dare I say, better friend actually wanted to see and thought it was neat lol

My experience today has me re-thinking the whole wig thing!!

I've been just wearing scarves because I figure they are cooler and I have a ton of them but they do bring attention to the fact that you don't have hair.

Today, I took half a vacation day and attended the LGFB program at my treatment center and before heading into the office, I decided to treat myself to lunch at Panera Bread. I was wearing one of my new bright floral scarves and not long after I sat down to eat, the girl that was cleaning tables came up behind me and flipped the tail of my scarf and told me that I was "rocking the look". I smiled and thanked her even though I thought it was a tad inappropriate. She walked a few feet in front of my table, took off her cap and showed me her buzz cut then proceeded to loudly tell me that she got it cut for a friend with cancer and how her poor friend's cancer had come back 3 times ... she went on and on very loudly talking about it cancer and hair loss and I grew more and more uncomfortable feeling like everyone in the room was staring at me. She finally walked away and just when I thought it was over, she came up from behind me again and leaned over like she was whispering except she wasn't whispering when she asked "Do you mind telling me what kind of cancer you have" That was it!! I told her that I did not want to discuss that with her at all. She said okay and finally walked away but by that point I was mortified and frankly I'm pretty easygoing about all this cancer junk but that was unbelievable!!

Terrible of that girl to do that to you!

On the other side of the coin, I finally got brave enough to just wear my do rag (Skull cap) in public. About a week after I did, a young woman came up to me in a store, asking for advice, etc. She had just been diagnosed Stage 4 and I connected her with Bestbird. So if I hadn't worn my do rag that day, maybe that connection wouldn't have been made for this young woman. I guess what I am saying is I think there are really good people out there, people who need us, and then people who are flat out assholes, like that girl.

Sorry you had to go through that.

MeToo: Oh, my sympathies. People aren't always being mean, more like not realizing they're being hurtful or not thinking things through.

I am not getting one, I will have one for lifting restrictions for 6 weeks following reconstruction, but I refuse to get the other. In the past the other teacher in the district with BC did not need one. The press and the EOC attorneys will have a field day.