The waiting is starting to get to me...

welcome 123,

This is a very surreal experience.

You are at one of the most difficult parts, but it gets better. Once you have your plan, it gets easier mentally.

Hmmmm work. I was 46 and worked for a solo attorney, had to quit due to chemotherapy. Many others can advise about to tell or not to tell coworkers, and will be along soon. Loads of women keep working all through tx! And/or take leave, work from home, or lesser hours. Your own particular tx may not be bad, so try not to fear it right now.

Joining a tx group is very beneficial and I did all my support right here. Best wishes

I'm so sorry you find yourself here but welcome!  Those first few weeks after diagnosis are awful.  It's such an emotional rollercoaster and sleep is wonderful because you can forget about it, momentarily, and then you wake up and it all comes crashing back in.  It's hard but I promise, it's going to get better once the puzzle pieces start to fall into place.

I absolutely told my work.  My time off qualified as leave under FMLA so I had to complete paperwork in order to get it approved and they have been so wonderful.  I took 6 weeks off for my BMX surgery and then another 2 weeks when I had my TEs placed and then I'll still need to take another 2 weeks off for my exchange surgery.  They have been super supportive through the entire thing.

It might be a good idea to wait and tell them once you know what your treatment plan is going to be so you know what you're dealing with and what time you might be asking for.  A lot of that you won't know for certain until after the final pathology reports come in.

I met with a genetic counselor right off the bat but honestly, I completely panicked and left without finishing the testing.  I had already decided on BMX so it didn't much matter treatment wise to me.  I will probably go back in sometime and finish it.  It's a good thing to know.

Hang in there!

Welcome and so sorry to hear that we are in the same boat.  The waiting is very frustrating.  For me, its too much time to think. 

I told my boss right away because I knew all of the appointments were going to cause a strain on my department and I wanted to stay ahead of it.  They have been very kind and supportive and are doing everything they can to be flexible with work duties.  Hopefully you will have a similar experience when the time is right for you to tell your employer.  I would suggest sometime soon because paperwork will need to be filled out for FMLA and short/long term disability.  I think it may help to keep the stress down if you know that you have all of your ducks in a row in terms of time off from work.  I know that aspect was incredibly stressful for me when I was first diagnosed.

I hope you have answers soon and that you are able to not worry quite so much.  Feel free to reach out if you need to vent.