The waiting is starting to get to me...

123JustMe

Just diagnosed early June and the reality of it it all is sinking in. Woke up last night thinking that it was just a dream but then thought to myself "this isn't a dream this is your new real" . Anyway, I have met with the BS, MO, and RO. Still waiting for genetic testing results which should be available late next week.

Hoping to get the ball rolling soon! Wondering how and when how you told your co-workers your diagnosis? Or Did you tell them?

Moderators

JustMe, we're really sorry what you're going through. We know the waiting is so hard... Please come and vent anytime you need, we're here for you!

Related to how and when to tell your co-workers, please take a look at the article Breast Cancer and Your Job, you may find it helpful.

Hugs,

The Mods

Bippy625

welcome 123,

This is a very surreal experience.

You are at one of the most difficult parts, but it gets better. Once you have your plan, it gets easier mentally.

Hmmmm work. I was 46 and worked for a solo attorney, had to quit due to chemotherapy. Many others can advise about to tell or not to tell coworkers, and will be along soon. Loads of women keep working all through tx! And/or take leave, work from home, or lesser hours. Your own particular tx may not be bad, so try not to fear it right now.

Joining a tx group is very beneficial and I did all my support right here. Best wishes

123JustMe

Thanks Bibby for the words of encouragement. The waiting is so hard because the MO and RO said lumpectomy and radiation but that is based solely on the biopsy results! I am concerned about the actual pathology report and the Onco DX test but I haven't even had the crazy lumpectomy yet! I am doubting my decision for genetic testing.......

hummingbirdlover

I'm so sorry you find yourself here but welcome!  Those first few weeks after diagnosis are awful.  It's such an emotional rollercoaster and sleep is wonderful because you can forget about it, momentarily, and then you wake up and it all comes crashing back in.  It's hard but I promise, it's going to get better once the puzzle pieces start to fall into place.

I absolutely told my work.  My time off qualified as leave under FMLA so I had to complete paperwork in order to get it approved and they have been so wonderful.  I took 6 weeks off for my BMX surgery and then another 2 weeks when I had my TEs placed and then I'll still need to take another 2 weeks off for my exchange surgery.  They have been super supportive through the entire thing.

It might be a good idea to wait and tell them once you know what your treatment plan is going to be so you know what you're dealing with and what time you might be asking for.  A lot of that you won't know for certain until after the final pathology reports come in.

I met with a genetic counselor right off the bat but honestly, I completely panicked and left without finishing the testing.  I had already decided on BMX so it didn't much matter treatment wise to me.  I will probably go back in sometime and finish it.  It's a good thing to know.

Hang in there!

Trvler

I would wait to tell anyone that isn't very close to you until you have a treatment plan in place. But I am a very private person by nature.

dchavy

Welcome and so sorry to hear that we are in the same boat.  The waiting is very frustrating.  For me, its too much time to think. 

I told my boss right away because I knew all of the appointments were going to cause a strain on my department and I wanted to stay ahead of it.  They have been very kind and supportive and are doing everything they can to be flexible with work duties.  Hopefully you will have a similar experience when the time is right for you to tell your employer.  I would suggest sometime soon because paperwork will need to be filled out for FMLA and short/long term disability.  I think it may help to keep the stress down if you know that you have all of your ducks in a row in terms of time off from work.  I know that aspect was incredibly stressful for me when I was first diagnosed.

I hope you have answers soon and that you are able to not worry quite so much.  Feel free to reach out if you need to vent.