April 2015 Chemo Crew... Starting in April? Please join us!
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Wow, I see It's been a busy day of posts for us April gal pals! All I can say is: Thank you, thank you thank you!! I was on my bed crying like a big baby, feeling so freakin sorry for myself and decided to "check in" on the board (which is weird since I'm so, so sick of cancer right now all I want to do is run from it!!). It's day #5 after treatment and I'm still so damn fatigued and cranky. I walked the dog for a half hour this morning but that only made me more cranky b/c I needed to rest on the couch for an hour and a half afterwards...really!! But then I read all your posts and so much of what was said resonated with me and in a weird way-comforted me. From the down in the dumps feeling which just "takes hold" of you some days; the "do-gooders" who text every darn day to see how your feeling; having to tell everyone that your "OK and getting stronger" each day with a freakin smile on your face; the family members who still continue to go about their day/activities without even comprehending what all this is doing to us; the physical and emotional discomfort; the hair loss issues, even the prayer book...I just picked mine up off my dresser and read from it this morning (haven't done that since this whole ordeal began)-weird, huh? Anyway, I so wish each and every one of us did not have to meet under these "challenging" circumstances but we are quite the great group (heck, if you think about, we really only "got together" a little over a month ago!). I think these "experiences" do bond us in a very unique way & the support, comfort and even laughter that we bring to each other is a blessing. O.K. now I'm done rambling (that was quite cathartic I must say) and a note of thanks from one April Gal pal to the others!!! -
Fran, your post was great and said exactly what we are all feeling! Perfect. Wish I was that good with words.
I added a bleeding hemorrhoid issue to my side effects today. Good Lord not enough that I have chemo drugs trying to kill me but the good Lord decides not enough trouble there add some GI SE too. Then I quickly picked up my bleak outlook and made a grateful list. And my mother reminded me that God doesn't give us more than we can handle.
So we all must be the superwoman of the world! And I'm counting on all of you and love reading the posts here as he's blessed us in this group together to get us thru.
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Renee, if it wasn't the straw the broke the camel, it would almost be funny. Maybe we'll all find humor in some our our experiences some day.
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Hi - just a quick note, I'm beat! YES we are AWESOME! I too want to escape cancer, but I like to check in with the DB because if I can add a word of support, etc. I'd like to do that.
KB - I felt just like you did - I knew it wouldn't change the circumstances, and I hated it when I was bawling on the phone to DH/Chuck, but it felt good to let it all out. It sucks that we have to explain it to them again and again. And, I hate it because it's not me at all - of course I want to do it all, but I can't, and that's what makes it more miserable.
I made it through my marathon day - started off with waking up Gwen and feeling her hot - yet, 101.4 temp. Checked with my mom, yep - she can stay with her, and got on my way to Boston. Called school, after school program, and DH on the way. Got to Boston (only a 2 hour commute for 35 miles!), stayed all day for the meeting - I felt a bit fatigued in the PM, but had a large ice coffee to get me through. Then, I'm heading out, and read a text from DH asking if I can pick him up from the dealership where he is leaving his car for service. Now, first, I had told him - I am going to be beat like last time, and especially after staying in Boston all day, so please get someone else to give you a ride home. So, now he asks me this, but I'm thinking by now he has given up, so I say "I guess so" and he accepts. Then I punch it into GPS, it is going to take me 1 hour and 9 minutes to get there. It's 40 min round trip from our house, so if he left then, he would be back before I would even be able to pick him up. He still says yes. So my GPS takes me all over the place to get to the dealership. Midway I have to go to the bathroom, I'm thinking I'm going to pee my pants. All I can think about is how I'm holding my pee full of chemo. Then, I pick him up and ask if he communicated to my mother, who was starting dinner for us so that we could be done in time for taking my daughter to TKD tonigh. "Oh, I don't know." Urrhgg! He's so friggin' selfish and clueless. So now I'm pissed, and he's all "it's all fine, we are all fine." I'm like - yeah, your fine! I guess I am going to have to spell this out for him AGAIN.
so much for quick :-) needed to vent
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lovlilynne - you have cared so much for your family. I wonder if there is family denial because you have always been there for them. Wouldn't be surprised by that. My family is sometimes there.
Reading all the posts and relating to the many stories.
GingerChi - are you going in for chemo #3 next week, too?
Finally, does anyone need chemo beanie look-a-like scarf/caps? Also knit caps. My local CancerConnection has some for free that anyone can have. I got two silk ones today and they feel good on my newly shaved head. If you need one, we can mail it to you. PM me via this forum.
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Dear Lorraine, mysunshine48, Lynne, littleblueflowers, KBeee, Sue, gingeel, GingerChi, Thank you so much for your support and encouragement! I will follow your tips and advice. Honestly, I feel much better already. I am sorry that I brought the negative energy yesterday. All the ladies here have been so brave, positive, and supportive! It's a real pleasure to be part of this group! Cheers, lemonade
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Well said, Fran! And hope you recover from the fatigue soon!
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Kbee, Lynne, wow, it must be the day for husbands. Mine threw a hissy fit because things that I moved from our old house weren't being put just so in the garage of the new house, and proceeded to sulk for an hour as I kept packing boxes around hIm. Ummm....I schlepped boxes all day! On chemo! He just rebuilt flight helmets at work! Come on! Luckily he seems mostly over it tonight. What the hell...are they all PMS ing?
On the plus side, we are sleeping in our new house tonight!
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lemonade...it's so ok to be however you feel here. This is a safe place. No need to be chipper if you arent, we support you no matter what! Hugs!
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Hi all...I am now 5 days post 1st cycle of TC. I have been reading about everyone's experiences and many are so different! Right now I am not sure what are SE's and what are not, because I have a freaking COLD. I went to the ER the other night with a temp, but my bloodwork and chest X-ray were good so I was sent home. I have a rotten cough and am fatigued, plus have body aches. No fever now, my immune system seems to be doing its job. (Thanks, Neulasta!) Just wondering...how long before my hair starts falling out? My scalp feels kind of prickly but I know it's too soon...probably just sweaty...
Oh, and on the matter of husbands...I really have a terrific one, he cooks and cleans etc. But sometimes he just doesn't think. Him: "What did you do all day?" Me: "You mean besides lie on the couch wishing for merciful death?" Okay, sorry, not funny. But I did feel a bit hurt that he does not understand how rotten I feel, and for the first time since my diagnosis I actually had a major meltdown. I used to be a big-time crybaby, but surprisingly with all this cancer stuff (including my colon cancer 18 months ago) I haven't felt like crying. Until today. I feel better now.
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I'm on day 7 of my first cycle of dose-dense AC, and it seems we've all experienced different intensity of SEs. For me Days 2-3-4 were the hardest physically, but on day 5 I started feeling a little more human and yesterday, after a shaky start. I had a pretty normal day. I even went to art class and managed to paint, which was great for me psychologically! Hopefully today will continue to improve.
You ladies who are working and/or caring for children are amazing! I admire you beyond words, and it makes my issues and complaints seem pretty small by comparison.
As for husbands, our only disagreement so far has been over the schedule, which also sounds like a common theme. Once we got past him being upset with me for saying he was "oblivious" [which he heard as "not supportive"], we finally agreed that the schedule has to be better coordinated. It's been a crazy six weeks since my diagnosis and he's as tired of doctors and hospitals as I am. But we've got a long way to go. So we sat down with calendars and marked out everything. I told him when I think I will need his support and he agreed not to schedule something without talking to me first, or to reschedule when possible. Some things are beyond his control but he now understands that him being flexible is key to my emotional well-being. Since flexibility is one of his "needs improvement" areas, he's working hard on it and I appreciate it. I'm working hard on speaking up when I need something rather than just smoldering over his failure to figure it out. We'll be doing the calendar update every week. Fortunately, we are both self-employed so have some ability to control the schedule.
I hope everyone is having a decent day, or see one coming soon!
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Dizzpark, My MO was very specific in warning me about the constipation and I am so very glad he did. He doesn't pretend side effects don't exist lik emy former MO. I am thankful because I could arm myself. Stool softeners, Metamucil, prunes, etc...I use them all and they seem to be effective during that first week.
ksusan, Great job on the treadmill walk. Wow!
thisizit, Glad the port insertion went well.
Fran, You put into words how we all feel so eloquently!
Rpayton, Ouch on the hemorrhoid! Agree we are superwomen. People have no idea.
Lynne, What an exhausting day!!!!! Yes. Spell it out for him again. In writing if it works better. I think when I used the word cruel with my husband it finally hit home.
Lemonade, No negative spirit brought. We all need to vent now and again and this is the place to do it. We all have good days and bad, and sometimes it helps to see when others are having bad days too, because you know that you're not alone in how you feel. And then you read about someone else's really good day and see that the good days are right around the corner. We're all here to pat each other on the back on the good days and accomplishments and carry each other through the storms.
Littleblue, Men are just so clueless sometimes. Glad you are sleeping in your new house!
Andrea, Hope your cold eases soon. I had shaved my hair, but the stubble really came out quickly about 15 days post first TC infusion. It was holding firm still on day 12, started a little more on day 13, but by 15, I came out quickly. A good cry every now and then helps. I hope you can get some rest without criticism from your husband.
Busy day here. I have to work an education event at work at 11:30, so will get my walk/run (more walk than run) in before that, get my kids to/from their various events in the afternoon, make an early dinner, and then go to a 3 hour FD training tonight. Hoping I have energy for it all; I can tell my hemoglobin is slipping a bit lower. I've been trying to eat lots of iron rich foods hoping it might boost it a little bit. I am pretty sure the only thing it is boosting is my cholesterol! Wishing everyone a good day. It's hump day. Halfway through yet another week in this marathon called chemo. We're getting it done!
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Hi, I don't think I've welcomed all the newbies, but I've been adding to my list as I see them: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Goesf6x_13...
If you don't see your name on the list, feel free to add it - you can also add any other details you feel like sharing.
AndreaC, I have heard hair loss strikes around 17 days past first infusion. TC might be a little longer, so I think what you are feeling is a little early for hair loss.
SE have actually been a little better this cycle, except for dyspepsia - that has started early and strong. I was going to start Pepcid after weaning from the Zofran, but I started yesterday due to fiery heartburn. I also woke up nauseated, had to take my Zofran and stay in bed for a bit for it to take effect. I think taking my shot later (took it around 7:30 PM at home) helped a little bit. I've been having on and off chest heaviness/pain this morning, but I'm thinking it's just a side effect of the Neulasta.
Gwen is still home sick - temp has stayed under 100, quick strep was negative, but waiting on the longer test. Dr. thought it was viral.
Hair is starting to fall out - started in the basement, but this morning when styling, lots of hair in my hands - I mainly finger style, so noticeable. But, it doesn't hurt or tingle, so that's good. Maybe because it's already short.
Lynne
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Lynne - I have TERRIBLE heartburn with AC - my MO says it's all those types of cells being targeted, I've never had it in my entire life before! Anyway, she has me take prescription strength meds starting the evening before AC to get the stomach acid down early!
Glad you're feeling good otherwise! I finished AC #2 Thursday and had no heartburn this time.
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28 minutes ago Karen30 wrote:
hello everyone- day 5 post AC and finally feel a bit better- I skipped all the extra decadron this time only had what they gave me in the bag during infusion- it definitely reduced the volume of the shakyiness but I still had it. My red devil is via push as well - interesting how some places have different protocols - it's really toxic so I'm glad they check and triple check as the give the push. My liver functions were out of wack as well prior to infusion so they are rechecking on Friday- I have avoided all OTC meds even emergenC this week- coconut water has been my rehydrate- I only had the plain one for days around chemo - it's not great tasting but after day 2 I've had the flavored ones and they are not bad at all.
I'm sorry so many of you are having a difficult time with hubby's- I don't know how you do it- I'm newly divorced and can't imagine having to deal with a hubby as well- I will say I found outy ex is now officially dating some poor woman- my initial thought was how unfair it was that he got to be living it up while I was dealing with this crap- I'm trying not to become the bitter ex wife- but it does suck - still as many of my friends have reminded me karma is a bitch - and I definitely don't want him back so all I can say is good luck to her she is going to need it!!
I hope those of you headed to the spa today have an easy ride , and those recovering enjoy our few days of "normal".
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OK, so I must say I do have the best hubby God ever made. He asked me the other day what he should/could be doing that he isn't already. Wow, what an opportunity. But I couldn't think of a thing. How blessed I am.
And girls, I gotta say, you keep me laughing. Andrea, you cracked me up with your comeback. I'm so proud everyone can keep their senses of humor inspite of everything.
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Andrea & Karen30- OMG!! I was hysterical!!!OK just an FYI for you moms of boys...apparently "oblivious" DH's begin their training very early on-like at 17! My DS says to me this am (at 5:45 am bc I can't sleep)-"hey mom, what day is my graduation party?". You, of course, must understand my sincere surprised reaction b/c we have been discussing HIS high school graduation party since freakin EASTER (over and over again I may add) and we JUST ordered the invitations on SUNDAY-which he saw!! I So I calmly say, "it's 6/20-the day after graduation". He gets all pissed off and says "well, that won't work" (b/c apparently his best friend is planning on throwing his party that same day).. SERIOUSLY.... the only positive thing that we have had going on since the last five months of this hell began and he says, "that won't work"?????? Yep "obliviousness" in training!!!!!!!!
Enjoy your day ladies-I'm going to see a movie tonight (the one with Blake Lively where she never ages) at 6:30 pm (yep, I'm being a rebel-leaving my family to fend for themselves & going out to the movies with a girlfriend of mine in the middle of the week-yep rebellion!)
Take Care,
Fran
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Support and congrats to everyone getting treatment this week! Every treatment done moves us toward our goal. You're rocking it!
What kind of eye drops are those of you with dry eyes using? This is an exciting new SE. What I've tried isn't working, but my ophthalmologist's office says I should just try using what I've got more frequently. "Or we can plug your tear ducts..." Yeah. I absolutely want to jump to the extreme intervention. Also: "You're past due for your diabetic eye check." Yes, you might notice from my chart that I have permission from the ophthalmologist to wait until after chemo. "Well, I don't know about that." And yet, the ophthalmologist does.
I may be fortunate with my family, in that my father and my wife both had Hepatitis C, so my mother, sister, and wife are familiar with "sitting on the couch" as a triumph over fatigue, and understand about fuzzy brains, disrupted sleep, the need for hygienic measures, and opportunistic infections. (My father acquired Hep C before it was known to exist, and given the treatments available shortly thereafter, didn't have treatment success and died of liver problems. My wife was treated around a decade later and was cured. Both acquired it from transfusions before 1992.) This isn't to say that there hasn't been fighting/squabbling, but most of that has gone since I actually started chemo and we've all relaxed a bit.
I have lorazepam and alprazolam to use as needed. My MO gave me Ambien (Zolpidem) for sleep. It works okay but not great for me. Might work well for some of you, and it's not a benzodiazepine so it's easier to get off it if you use it for a long time.
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My nails are getting a little discolored right at the 10th day after chemo 2. My hair began falling out at Day 17. My palms seem a little tender and dry (gotta put gloves on when doing any dishes)..lotion helps. I had high anxiety that is now tapering off and a slight scalp pain. With a lint remover, my stubble hair comes out easily. BUT the hair on my legs is snug - REALLY?!!! I was hoping for the benefit of leg hair loss. The games chemo plays are not funny!
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So all you people with neck and shoulder pain from your port you may want to see if you have a blood clot. I told my surgeon about the pain yesterday and he said it was probably nothing. However, I had the test today and I do have a blood clot in my neck. Now at emergency so I can get medicine to dissolve it. It is always something isn't it
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what kind is test? For the blood clot
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Thanks, melb44. I had ED x-rays done, which ruled out "port fracture," misplacement, and blood clot.
Positive_spirit, my head hair hangs on more with the buzz cut, and my leg hair is loosening 2 weeks after TC #2. Arm, armpit, and "elsewhere" (ahem) hair is mostly hanging on, so far.
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Melissa! So sorry about your port/blood clot. Do you have the power port? I had the neck and shoulder stiffness, but I thought it was from neulasta. It did go away . . .
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I do have a power port. I can't remember the exact name of the test but it was in the vascular center and was similar to an ultrasound. At first they were going to admit me but looks like I am going to get a shot and then get another at my oncologist's office tommorow am and then they will teach me how to myself the shots twice a day. Still stuck at the ER though waiting on shot.
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Dry eyes - I'm using the super lubricant gel tears that come in individual disposable vials. Doctor says just use them more often because they can't hurt you. So far, that's about the only thing I've encountered in the last few months that doesn't come with a 5-page flyer explaining all the different ways it can kill me.
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Hi All
My ophthalmologist recommended Genteal Gel...feels good in my eyes...They have been my biggest troublemakers during chemo...on my third bout of scleritis.
TC #3 tomorrow...wacked on steroids today...hope everyone's SEs can calm down, hugs to all!
arlene
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it's morning of 2nd chemo treatment ugh it's bittersweet I finally feel myself just to go through it all again but I am excited to get it over with. I'm officially bald shaved it off yesterday if I get brave enough I may put a picture on here lol texted one to Ali who gave me a little confidence (love you girl!!) the great news is I FiNALLY saw my oncologist yesterday longest 3 weeks of my life and she was so impressed with how much my tumor shrunk she said it was remarkable after only 1 treatment and drastically smaller can barely feel it I'm really hoping for a pcR at the end of all this!! She said I'm respinding very well to treatment
It better be killing that damn cancer after all the hell it puts is through! Will def be getting the neuprogen and iv fluids tomorrow hoping for better results with it good luck to all who are going to be in the chair this week!!
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Good luck ladies with meds this week!!
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Have been coughing for three weeks. Had a fever of 101 last night. MO finally ordered a chest X-Ray and it turned out I have pneumonia. But MO didn't admit me to the hospital, only gave me oral antibiotics... Very frustrated ...
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can I just brag for a minute
my husband has been incredibly supportive since I have found out about my bc he had gone to almost every dr appt with me plans on going to every 6 hour long chemo session with me when I was in the hospital last week he slept on the chair next to me wouldn't leave my side unless another family member was there with me. When I shaved my hair off yesterday he came with me and went first and made sure when it was my turn he cracked jokes and told me how beautiful I was so I wouldn't cry. I was so nervous to show my 5 year old son my bald head but he asked me to take my hat off looked at me and said it's not funny you don't look like a boy it's just perfect and gave me a big hug
not to mention my 2 sisters and brother as well as my parents my in laws and friends everyone has rallied around me to do everything they can do to help I literally have made dinner 3 times since I found out. It's funny how being diagnosed with such a terrible thing can make you realize how truly lucky you are..just feeling emotional today I guess
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