INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

Apologies Susan. Rose colored glasses remark applied to your mom (well maybe not considering your desc. above). I have much the same. Have not talked to my mother's only sibling since my mom passed away 12 years ago and don't ever intend to. She is exactly the manipulative person your mom is and oddly enough has a son who is exactly like your brother. They could be twins - loner, happy in mom's home, college educated. No clue what will happen to him when she passes.

And you are right. You can't change them. I know most everyone on here knows the old adage psychiatric or psychological origin. You cannot change anyone else's behavior. You can only change the way you respond to it. Big hugs.

Sorry about Lowe's and your cabinet. I've really had good luck with them in the past. Prayers that your cabinet arrives soonest.

Sassy - I always have chocolate hidden somewhere. It's like a place of safety.

Off to program my new weather radio.

Sas, read that again. My bp is fine. Shush

Teka!!!!!! Little honey.... pay no attention to anyone who becomes offended by the word "sorry"..... That word means a lot to me.... And it lets the person you are talking to, know you empathize with him/her, that you care, and that you are WITH them in your feelings.... So it is a "good" word....

So I'm sorry you are sorry...... about something.....whatEVER! Hah!

Also.... Susan, and Littlegoats...... just don't worry about anything your Mother does or says.... she isn't worth the time.... You knew what she was like with YOUR Daughter..... and she is the same way with you.... manipulative....

Some women are just made out of pretzels, and cracketrs, and weeds..... Other women who are caring, and supportive are made out of chocolate covered raisins, and peanut-butter & jelly, and love everyone.... You can trust them....

We don't need toxic people in our lives, even if they ARE "family".... Sometimes family can make you feel little, and guilty, and not worth a tinkers-darn... But as adults we can choose who to spend our time with, and who to call or talk to..... And unless they want to change their ways, you don't have to feel guilty about not wanting anything to do with them. We don't OWE them anything.....

pretzels, crackers and weeds....never heard that...did you make that up? Is that a chevism? Lo

To all- I guess I should have shelved my opinions on "sorry." I feel in my life it is used as a shield for real empathy and deflects a truthful response - kind of like a canned acknowledgement of suffering but really empty and meaningless. The same way unengaged parents will acknowledge a whinning child wanting to show them something- "oh nice honey," while still talking on their cell phones not at all caring interested or engaged. My husband in particular throws the word around like most folks use salt on their food... oh "sorry.." "sorry.." I would rather hear silence then something that means zip. But the word is popular and will be used whether i like it or not. Glad some of you really mean it when you tell someone you are sorry.

I won't be talking much because my entire bottom lip is covered in ulcers.. WTH? Owie... little ones all over. Hate this. Afinitor caused mouth ulcers but I quit that a year ago. oh well. I haven't taken any NSAIDS either.. hmm.

Susan- I pretty much have given up on my family. I figured I shared way too much. So I edited!

See Blondie it's not just your twins. There is "fun" in every family.

OMD Susan! I thought you said septic tank! Eeeeks! Are those the same thing as canker sores, or fever blisters? Or Herpe's? See, I know those names, but don't know the difference.... Someone told my Daughter to eat a CAN of black olives, to heal her fever blisters.... She DID it, but didn't notice any difference.... those will go away by themselves anyway.... So I am of no help on THAT problem....

Yes.... I made that up.... But even In-laws are like weeds.... they show up everywhere, even when not invited.... and they are just not useful.... My MIL lived close to us, and never even asked our little girls if they would like to go for a walk, or to the park, or just ANYwhere! She was a selfish self-centered woman.... So they didn't really get to know her as "Grandma".... Only when we all got together.....

A little girl used to come here before and after school....Her Parents just couldn't be bothered with her.... I even did their ironing.... Both Parents worked... She hasn't talked to her Mother in 6 years.... She called her on Easter, just because she thought she should.... She then asked her Uncle if she mentioned talking to her on Easter..... Her Mother said..... "I can't recall".... Such a bitch....

That woman never even asked "Lesa" how HER kids were, her life, or her husband! Lesa used to talk to me about her child-hood.... about how she wasn't allowed to leave her room.... So when she came here, we were "like a real family" to her....

She is coming over next Monday.... driving from Ft. Collins, to spend some time with me for hugs and kisses, she says.... So see? She doesn't have to be in her Mother's life....

Rosie..... I talk to my closest Daughter 2 times a day.... But Orlando Daughter, about once a week.... along with the Grand-sons.... Going tomorrow with Janie..... she wants to pay for her cremation.... I'll just surprise her, and write out a check for that.... It's just nice to be able to help them out, because years ago, it wasn't that way at all....

We used to WALK to the park, because we only had one car.... And stop at the soda-fountain, and get a chocolate coke, to drink with the sandwiches I made for our picnic!

Chevy- Thank goodness you were there for Lesa! Probably changed the entire way her life worked out. Someone cared and showed her she was special. Some people shouldn't be parents. It's hard to be a parent, really hard sometimes. I am glad you get along with your daughters. If I called my Mom twice a week she wouldn't remember the first time! Ha! She didn't use to be this way, sad really. We used to talk but once my brothers moved in 6 years ago that was over. She just never could be bothered with Grandkids. She was always kind of selfish. People are what they are.

My 2 cousins spend an enormous amount of their time bitching to my Aunt about work at the ER and Hospital. I didn't do that. When I left the hospital... I LEFT! I didn't want to talk anymore about it or relive it.. the shift was happily DONE. Oh.. my intestines are in an upheaval today... along with my sore mouth. I am going to go...no errands today. stuck near a bathroom. Chit... ugh.. life in Cancerland your body is a friend and foe!

SAS

DROP IT

I knew a woman who had no contact with her family, but would fly to Germany at Christmas to spend it with her 'family of choice'. So Lesa had the right idea. If you have weeds at home, seek out flowers somewhere else.

Love that teka

Rosie yep i know

Oh and Susan, my other favorite expression is "hell is other people." I think you know what I mean!

for fever blisters, get Acyclovir, also know as Zovirax. Prescription if you can take it. Comes in pills or cream. My insurance covers pill form, not cream. Works very fast and if started soon enough, they don't form blisters.

Patty posted on another thread, she's taking a break.