Starting Chemo March 2015

and Theresa, yes I did feel like your twin when that happened yesterday. I just put coconut oil everywhere there was a place to. Nuff said haha. I will be ok now.

Katy I'm still worried you are running a low grade fever. It has to mean something?? I understand not wanting to leave Jack and the comfort of your home but I wish you'd put in a call to him, maybe late afternoon? I just worry about all the little pieces coming together and becoming a bigger problem. Sorry for worrying so much, my kids tell me all the time I'm a worrier. Please remember how much you are loved and needed just by being who you are. I would give anything to lift you now and I haven't given up thinking of ways! For now a big warm hug your way-

Carrie-I was just thinking of the same thing, a couple friends that have virtually disappeared since I started chemo. One is a 15 yr BC survivor and she had told me she could handle walking with me through anything but  not the chemo. She has such horrible memories of what she went through and she swore she wouldn't be going through it again. She's also been avoiding mammograms because she's afraid so I understand to a degree....the other friend who btw made me promise to never leave her in the dark if my cancer came back following the death of her college roommate to BC. When I told her she said something like "I just don't think I can handle this now" and of course I said "no problem I understand" but it hurt. She called a couple weeks ago to get info and I think to say she called because nothing since.

 I don't know what I'd do without everyone of you from this thread. You fill a huge void in my life right now. I had a dream that my mother was alive and just as I remembered her the other night. It was a sweet dream and so vivid. Maybe she is with me somewhere?

waychris-As you can tell this is a very unique and super supportive bunch of ladies. We welcome you in with open arms. Because we are so chatty it's hard to address all of everyone's concerns so if you have a need and it doesn't get addressed right away, keep trying...we all are battling our own SE's and lives in general. I think you'll be glad you did. Also if you want to share your first name, many of us did that some time ago and it feels more personal.  I'm Diane

Diane- I know she is there with you.

It is so hurtful how friends "put in an appearance" then disappear. You find out who your real friends are but humans are frail. We are weak. Far from perfect. I try not to blame them but I feel cancer has made me very selfish and there is NO ROOM AT THE INN for those who aren't in for the pound.

My temp is holding steady at 99.9. I guess I'm going to call the after hours line now. It wouldn't take much to spike it into the danger zone so i might as well give them a chance to do their job.

Will update for sure.

Keep us posted- I know waiting is the pits but I do feel better knowing you are being seen - praying WC is ok

Katy - keep us posted on how you're doing! You have us all very worried about you. I wish I were closer so I could help out with Jack.

I know what you all mean about losing friends - my best friend and I have lost touch over the last few months since my diagnosis. It's disheartening and sad to say the least, but some people just can't handle the realities of life. It's not always pretty.

My heart also goes out to everyone who has been enduring tough times lately. Life hasn't spared me, either, but we're all survivors. We can get through everything that's thrown our way, I just know it. Especially because we have each other.

I'm feeling much better after Friday morning's water barf. It was a one time thing... luckily, it hasn't happened again and my appetite has been fine. Not really sure why it happened though. I'm feeling okay after last weeks chemo - just having a hard time drinking enough water daily, and the bone/joint pain is no joke. I ache all over. I also can't get a good nights sleep in. So ready for this to be over, but I have a long road ahead of me...

WP- I know Jack would love you! Glad you are making a bit of a comeback.

I've just been triaged, they are leaning towards admitting. Maybe I'll still get lucky. This hospital, where I had my bmx in Dec has only private rooms. They are making every effort to keep the cooties away.

Trvler I get steroids like you, night before, morning before, in the bag and a few days after. My understanding is it helps with nausea mostly.

Trying not to think about the sharp pains in my cancer breast on the OTHER side of the breast.

Steroids are anti-nausea meds, also one of the reasons they are often included in the extra fluids given in the couple days following tx if needed.  They also help with allergic reaction - just like steroids given when you have a rash or poison ivy, etc. Interestingly, sometimes they are a catch-22 though, and can cause swelling - ask me how I know this, lol!  Some docs will eliminate them from weekly infusions because the dose is smaller - same reason Neulasta is usually eliminated for weekly dosing - it does not usually have the same impact as dose dense or 21 day dosing.  Also, for some Taxol does not cause nearly the degree of nausea as Adriamycin. 

For those who have to go to the ER during chemo (Katy - sorry you are there!) protocol is to isolate you - do NOT let them leave you in a crowded waiting room, and please play the cancer card. 

trvler - taxanes can cause allergic reaction, sometimes systemic, but often in the form of rashes - which are common with Taxol and Taxotere, not sure about Abraxane.  Usually they will infuse your first Taxol slowly, but sometimes increase the rate on subsequent tx if you have no problems.  The typical SE from taxanes also include bone pain and neuropathy.  Weekly infusions seem to cause less of this because the dose is smaller, but you can have cumulative issues toward the end of your tx.  I took a cap of B6 and 30g of powdered L-Glutamine during my six Taxotere (every 21 days) in 10g doses 3xdaily dissolved in a cold drink, and had neuropathy by the mid-point, but it resolved completely by about 90 days PFC. Generally, Taxol is considered the milder of the AC-T regimen - but people react to these drugs very individually.  Also, if you are not Her2+ and receiving concurrent targeted therapy, Taxol is given by itself rather than in a drug combo, so that is easier on most people. 

Trvler - I'm on weekly Taxol with Herceptin and I get steroids in IV before Taxol, each time

Holy Shit Sandwich, Batman!

I'm away for a few days while a friend visited and our poor group has experienced losses, illnesses, accidents, and hospitalizations. I wrap my arms around you all and am sending physical and emotional healing vibes out there into the universe for you.

Sloth - I am grateful for your post and the lift it has provided in the midst of this tough time. The mid-point of anything difficult is when it is easy to get lost in it and forget there will be an end. You also pinpointed something I had been feeling since my friend came into town - that feeling of being "the friend with cancer". She was supportive and so were all the other friends we visited with but I always had that feeling. Especially when we couldn't meet up with one of them because she was just getting over bronchitis and I didn't dare go near her.

I had a good time with the visit but am exhausted! I was surprised and a little disappointed that she didn't offer to help out with anything at all. Not that I was expecting her to take care of me, but still... I really wasn't in any shape to take care of all meals,, host our other friends for lunch, clean up meals, etc. without a little help. I am so glad I have a safe place I can say that out loud. I feel selfish but I need to say it.

Tonight I am allowing myself to be lazy and await my husband's delayed flight. The house is a mess but I will catch up with laundry and all that other crap tomorrow. I'm in the middle of a marathon of Naked and Afraid. Have any of you watched this?! Pretty strange but in a way that you can't tear your eyes away. The girls are happily playing "jungle" outside after watching part of an episode - hahaha!

I found the "naked and afraid" season one on Amazon. Sounds like more fun than "bald and exhausted" so I'm gonna give it a watch. Thanks for the suggestion, I find these kinds of quirky reality shows to be just the ticket for escaping this reality.

LOL Sloth! Bald and Exhausted! Ha!! That's great! That's for the giggle and smile.