Think I'm losing my marbles
Only 10 days since I was diagnosed & everything is going so fast & not fast enough. I spend my days in a fog or pissed off about something trivial or sobbing uncontrollably. I found out on Wednesday that it is highly unlikely I will need radiation therapy and I cried.all the way home like it was bad news?!?! Yesterday morning I was getting ready for work & just collapsed on the floor in tears for no reason. All I've wanted since this all started is a date for surgery so I can get this thing out of me. Now that I'm just waiting for my surgeon to call with a date I'm scared to death. What in the world is happening to me
Comments
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The stress will do it to you RoosterGirl. I so remember collapsing on the floor sobbing. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind my old self was witnessing the heap of despair wondering who the heck is that?? There is no easy way through this. Anti anxiety meds were made for times like these and they do help. Talking helps too, especially to someone who has been there before. Be sure to join the surgery sisters when you find out the date. Hang in there.
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It's all very normal. I was much the same way. Waiting can be the hardest part. You have been severely shocked and don't have coping mechanisms in place yet. That being said, a lot of women need help in the form of antidepressants to get through this time. Don't feel bad about taking them as everything can be so overwhelming right now. Hang in there - this too shall pass.
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Honestly, your reaction is totally normal. I swear, I cried at anything, for a month straight. Those first days were the hardest for me. Hang in there and hopefully things will start to move for you. Once that happens it does go quickly. I promise you'll feel so much better once there is a plan and clear treatment path. I'm sorry you are here, known that you a are not alone!
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