Advice on telling others?

So sorry you are joining our group.

Telling people is really a personal decision.  It does make some sense to tell people after you have met with the Breast Surgeon next week as she will have more specific information for you.  On the other hand, you may want to tell some people just because you may need some support. 

After I was told I had Breast Cancer by the Radiologist, we told our kids ages 12, 13 and 19 because I knew I wouldn't be able to hide my emotions totally and it was a weekend.  They all took it as expected.  We were honest with them about what was going on, what we knew and what we didn't know and encouraged them to ask questions and talk to us or other family members.  Others, we told as we knew more information.

Once you meet with your BS, you will get more information about your cancer itself, more testing (MRI, CT, stuff like that), and will discuss what type of surgery is warranted.  There will be more tests, and more doctor visits, but trust me, it will get better.  There will be more waiting on results, but you can get through it.  Once you know if you are looking at treatment after your surgery and you get that treatment plan in place, you really do feel a bit better.  For me, a plan meant we were moving ahead rather than standing still.

A positive spin?  Well, everyone will really take their cues from you.  If you are positive about the fact that it was found and that you are going to rock treatment, it is easier when telling others.  Trust me, you will still get "the puppy eyes" and will hear other people's horror stories, but just block it out.

You can do this!

It all sucks, you do not need to try to put a positive spin on this. It is what it is. One day at a time. I also have lobular. I assumed it was caught super early as I was proactive with mammos & exams by Drs.

Until the surgeon gets in there & removes it, you do not know the whole story. Hopefully it has not gone into the nodes. If that is the situation, it is possible you will avoid chemo. My mass in the armpit ( axillary nodes ) was enormous. My primary tumor small. This is a roller coaster of twists & turns. Some nausea & you want off, NOW ! My best advice is to be selfish. Take care of you right now.

Telling others is another can of worms. People do not react like you think they will. Some go way over board, crying whenever you see them. Others are stoic, no biggie. Organizing an event that includes plane tickets & hotel reservations you will have to make a few decisions. I would wait until after your Dr. Appt. In the big picture, not a huge deal. I got tired & annoyed listening to others, about someone else's story with a different Cancer ....it never ended. Also, being diagnosised & receiving treatment, it's a new language. I was completely overwhelmed with all that was happening. I did not find this website until my last chemo infusion. I needed this place from the beginning, to learn & to be able to be honest.

Hi Bizzy and others,
I saw this new thread and think it is a great topic for newly diagnosed.
First, for those who have a newly diagnosed breast cancer, I am sorry you have to be going through this. I was where you are 3 years ago, and I remember these feelings.
This discussion board is a very helpful place to get information and to discuss the things that family or friends probably don't understand or don't want to hear.

As Holeinone said, we are learning a new language.

I agree -- focus on you and don't worry too much about others.  There is plenty of time for them to get on board.  As others said here, people react so differently.  The issue with waiting is that you have been dealing with the diagnosis for a few weeks and when your family and friends hear it, it is brand new for them. 

Did you have a biopsy?  If so you may already have some information available about your cancer.  Staging does not usually happen until after surgery, but that is what family wants to know right away.  It takes time.
Use this time to inform yourself and plan your appointments and any urgent matters or special outings. 
I chose not to tell my adult kids until I saw the surgeon and got the preliminary diagnostic biopsy results.  I told only two people at work and swore them to secrecy as I did not want my adult children to hear it from anyone else.  And I told a best friend. 

When I phoned my kids I had information for them and a plan.  I felt in control and was able to reassure them.  Of course, we all reacted and discussed the unknown path ahead.  My daughters came and took me out for a wonderful evening of dining, laughter, and memories.  It all seemed surreal.
I immediately closed out my social media page because I am private and could not imagine my cancer being discussed in public.  I went back online well after treatment was done.
I did not have parents to tell...so I cannot relate there. 
We found our own way to deal with this...
And you will find your very own path. 
Best wishes for your appointment and the decisions you will make. 
Joan

hi, u mentioned ur mass was in the armpits? What were ur symptoms

((((Hugs)))) Welcome!! 

The choice is totally up to you, who you tell and when. You know the people in your life better than anyone else, so you go with what you feel is right.
For example, to this day, I've never told my father of my diagnosis. My mother passed away from Metastatic Breast Cancer in 2000. It devastated him. How in the world could I tell him that the same disease that killed his wife, has now attacked his daughter?! 
I also never told my son. He was 11 at the time of my diagnosis and is now 13. He has a right to know his families medical/health history, so when he is grown, I will tell him....but for right now, I choose to keep him sheltered. 

Some people can't understand why I made those decisions, but you know what? I could care less. I did what I felt was right for me and my family. I have no regrets and 2 years later, am still happy with my decisions. That is the only thing that matters.
So, like I said.....you know those in your life the best. And you know you best. Do what is right for YOU! That is the bottom line and all that matters!