November 2014 Surgery Sisters

Wonderful news! Port placement will make it sooooooo much easier! Zofran is a lovely thing. Hope you continue to feel well & thanks for letting us know how you are!

Thanks Awest! Feeling great :-). Hope all is well with you.

Thanks mommacat4. Tired, diarrhea, and a full day of appts at MDAnderson today for pre-port placement activities. At least the weather was wrong and we do not have any frozen precip this AM for my rush hour drive into the med center. That's really good news as ice + Houston drivers is not a good situation.

mommacat4 - sorry to hear your fatigue is increasing. My treatment is no big deal compared to you! I'm going to start wearing my fitbit again so maybe I'll be motivated to get my 10000 steps a day in again. Sure felt better when doing that before cancer kind of took over my calendar :-) and mild exercise like walking is supposed to counter some of the cancer related fatigue. You're right, time will fly by and this will all be worth the issues we are going through in process.

I wear my Fitbit every day. I should probably look at it once in a while lol.

Oh when I first got it I was shocked! I actually have a vivofit, it has this little red line that creeps along the top which basically says "hey lazyass get up and move". Since I hurt my back I've learned to ignore the red line. Not a good thing. But when you pay attention to it and get up and move when it pops up you would be surprised at how much more active you become... It's pretty neat really

NOVEMBER sisters I am dealing with my first true bout of depression since I got the news last June that I would need a mastectomy. I've been able to keep a great attitude, grateful that pathology is negative, dealing with the pain from the TEs ... And now my exchange is scheduled for 9 days away and I'm depressed. Because despite my good attitude, my gratefulness, etc., etc., it will still not be my real Breast. And. That. Stinks. I keep telling myself that I'm more than just my boobs, but today it feels like I've been pushing a rock up a hill all this time and for what? I feel defeated and broken.

I know this won't get many responses, people never know what to say when someone is having a really bad day, and I will most likely delete this post in a day or two (if I ever post it at all). Just wondering if anyone else here has dealt with similar issues. And maybe looking to cry on the strong shoulders of someone who has been there. Thi never happened to me when I had my first mastectomy 19 years ago... Becuz at least I had one good one left. Now I'm Barbie and I don't like it one stinking bit.

Alexa, honey, I understand and have been down that road too. First I grieved for my nipples as I had initially been told a nipple sparing mastectomy was planned. Then I grieved because the plan was for the incision to be under each breast where I already had one from prior open heart surgery. That changed too and they decided to do circumareolarincisions which left me with exactly what I didn't want - a larger scar across each breast I call the shisk-a-boob look! I was so upset that I met again with both my breast surgeon and plastic surgeon. I didn't want to see cancer everytime I looked in a mirror. And now, I have insanely misshapen breasts with TEs until I get to a point where my clinical study allows exchange surg (if my blood counts are safe for surg). I alternate between laughing and crying when I look at my alien boobs and know that even in the long run they still won't be "mine".

At one point I thought they would be close and even better in some ways. Now I just wish it was over so I could move on. MDACC has a body image service that I used to get through rough spots in the past and i don't know if you have access to anything like that. If not I may be able to find some of their educational material online.

Remember, we are all entitled to our feelings as we go through this process. Many of us here understand

AlexaP, I still struggle with the emotional part of loosing my breasts. I too have been told things like "your breasts don't make you who you are" and "you are still beautiful to me" but my mind keeps telling me there is something missing, something not right. And of course when I look in the mirror or take a shower I am visually reminded. I still have my tissue expanders in and on certain spots of my breasts I can feel the empty space behind them where my natural breasts used to be. I can't have my implants in until after my radiation therapy and that is expected to be completed at the end of July. So by the time I get my new breasts it will be closer to the end of the year.

I completely understand how you feel and I know you will have good days and bad ones. It's completely alright. And we are here for support. Don't ever feel alone here because you have all of us.

November sisters you are the best! I was so broken-hearted and you all lifted me up with your caring words! I would say something like "you'll never know what that meant to me" but I know you all DO! Thank you!!! Wow what a wonderful support system we have here, I am so grateful for all of you!

I had my PATs yesterday. Assuming that everything is ok (fingers crossed) im pretty much all set to go. PS said come to hospital at 8 next Wednesday; surgery will be at 10. He said he does not usually use drains with exchange surgery (WOOOHOOO) and I'll go home the same day then follow up in his office the next day. He said recovery should be a lot easier than the TE, since it's exchange and not MX and TE... I will have my last preserve all PT next Monday and hopefully will get full strength and feeling back in my arm afterwards. If I don't, I'm going to a neurologist to see if/where there is nerve damage... Sometimes my hand gets so weak from the pain that runs down the back of my arm that I can't squeeze a bottle of shampoo for instance... A little scary! Anyway, only going to think good thoughts now.... I will keep everyone posted. I'm over on the pic boards as bcnowbrca. I've posted a few pics but will do one right before surgery and then will do post-op as soon as it's not horrid to look at lol...

Thanks again ladies. This is a horrid thing to have to go through - for all of us - but at least we can go through it with people who truly understand and care.mmit really does make a difference. And ohmygosh - after all these frigging snowstorms, I can actually hear a BIRD singing outside!!! ☀️☀️☀️GOODBYE WINTER

Awest, cancer competition should be outlawed, especially in support group settings! Some people don't have the good sense they were born with and will just always take a self centered approach. If there were a competition, I think I'd let other folks go for the win in the "my disease is worse than yours" approach. Cancer can be "cured" or at least managed. Ignorance can be terminal :-)

Tomorrow the 18th! I was a nervous wreck yesterday but feel much more calm today lol

They said surgery will start at 9:30am. I'm glad I won't be sitting around all day waiting

For some stupid reason I thought this would be super easy, give it a couple of weeks, but then remembered he's doing pocket work during the revision. Even my husband said no DUH it will be 6 weeks, you need to make sure you heal properly internally! Wow I didn't expect that from him. So wish me luck! Here we gooooo

Awest thank you! You are a true friend! I'm sure all will be well, I just had a case of the jitters lol

I was MUCH calmer before my MX!

I will keep this picture in my mind. It is wonderful to be surrounded by people who care and get it. Even more so than close family, there is a special understanding that only we sisters can have... So we are all lucky in the sense that we now have each other! And NOVEMBER sisters rock!!!

Lifting you up in prayer this morning during your surgery and during the weeks to come as you recover! Lots of virtual hugs coming your way :-)

Drs office justcalled - surgery has been moved to 7:30am!!! I need to be in hospital by 5:30 so I have to be up by 4:00. Awesome. Wake up sign in and zonk out lol