November 2014 Surgery Sisters

mom2threeboys

Just checking in to say my first infusion went well overall. A difficult time starting my IV (4 tries) and a bit of nausea mid infusion, but doing great as soon as zofran was on board. Feeling wondeful today with no problems. Looking forward to port placement before next infusion in 3 weeks! Thanks for all of your support Nov Sisters!

AlexaP

Wonderful news! Port placement will make it sooooooo much easier! Zofran is a lovely thing. Hope you continue to feel well & thanks for letting us know how you are!

Awest

Yes, thanks for the update. Getting the show in the road so to speak. 😊 Glad you are doing well so far. We will keep praying for progress and comfort!

mom2threeboys

Thanks Awest! Feeling great :-). Hope all is well with you.

mommacat4

mom2threeboys, I am glad to hear you're doing well. Keep up with the se's as they rare their ugly head. Hopefully you won't have many of Them.

mom2threeboys

Thanks mommacat4. Tired, diarrhea, and a full day of appts at MDAnderson today for pre-port placement activities. At least the weather was wrong and we do not have any frozen precip this AM for my rush hour drive into the med center. That's really good news as ice + Houston drivers is not a good situation.

mommacat4

mom2threeboys, unfortunately it seems the fatigue is cumulative. I have had 4 treatments so far and each time the fatigue has hit me sooner and harder. I know you and I are on a different chemo cocktail but I think fatigue is a common factor with all chemotherapy. Hang in there, it will all be over before we know it.

mom2threeboys

mommacat4 - sorry to hear your fatigue is increasing. My treatment is no big deal compared to you! I'm going to start wearing my fitbit again so maybe I'll be motivated to get my 10000 steps a day in again. Sure felt better when doing that before cancer kind of took over my calendar :-) and mild exercise like walking is supposed to counter some of the cancer related fatigue. You're right, time will fly by and this will all be worth the issues we are going through in process.

Awest

Thinking of you girls. On step at a time, one foot in front of the other!

AlexaP

I wear my Fitbit every day. I should probably look at it once in a while lol.

mommacat4

I would be afraid to see how little I would use A Fitbit. Lol. Even if I wore it everyday. But then on second thought the reality might surprise me.

AlexaP

Oh when I first got it I was shocked! I actually have a vivofit, it has this little red line that creeps along the top which basically says "hey lazyass get up and move". Since I hurt my back I've learned to ignore the red line. Not a good thing. But when you pay attention to it and get up and move when it pops up you would be surprised at how much more active you become... It's pretty neat really

mom2threeboys

I was surprised at how much I moved, how many flights of stairs I climbed, etc. (or how little depending on the day). Then I joined a group of friends online and we could motivate each other to get our 10,000 steps daily. If it was 10PM and everyone else had made their goal for the day, you can bet that instead of going to bed to watch evening news I would hop on the treadmill to watch while walking just so I could also make my daily goal. Positive peer pressure :-)

AlexaP

NOVEMBER sisters I am dealing with my first true bout of depression since I got the news last June that I would need a mastectomy. I've been able to keep a great attitude, grateful that pathology is negative, dealing with the pain from the TEs ... And now my exchange is scheduled for 9 days away and I'm depressed. Because despite my good attitude, my gratefulness, etc., etc., it will still not be my real Breast. And. That. Stinks. I keep telling myself that I'm more than just my boobs, but today it feels like I've been pushing a rock up a hill all this time and for what? I feel defeated and broken.

I know this won't get many responses, people never know what to say when someone is having a really bad day, and I will most likely delete this post in a day or two (if I ever post it at all). Just wondering if anyone else here has dealt with similar issues. And maybe looking to cry on the strong shoulders of someone who has been there. Thi never happened to me when I had my first mastectomy 19 years ago... Becuz at least I had one good one left. Now I'm Barbie and I don't like it one stinking bit.

Awest

Alexa, I refuse to ignore this but can't type a book at the moment. You gave me my first good laugh today with your lazy ass comment. My shoulders are here and ready to be used!!! You can even text me 580-917-3338 (Anita.) I want you to know that we are allowed to grieve for ourselves. We lost a part of us. It's okay. We are right here with you.

mom2threeboys

Alexa, honey, I understand and have been down that road too. First I grieved for my nipples as I had initially been told a nipple sparing mastectomy was planned. Then I grieved because the plan was for the incision to be under each breast where I already had one from prior open heart surgery. That changed too and they decided to do circumareolarincisions which left me with exactly what I didn't want - a larger scar across each breast I call the shisk-a-boob look! I was so upset that I met again with both my breast surgeon and plastic surgeon. I didn't want to see cancer everytime I looked in a mirror. And now, I have insanely misshapen breasts with TEs until I get to a point where my clinical study allows exchange surg (if my blood counts are safe for surg). I alternate between laughing and crying when I look at my alien boobs and know that even in the long run they still won't be "mine".

At one point I thought they would be close and even better in some ways. Now I just wish it was over so I could move on. MDACC has a body image service that I used to get through rough spots in the past and i don't know if you have access to anything like that. If not I may be able to find some of their educational material online.

Remember, we are all entitled to our feelings as we go through this process. Many of us here understand

AlexaP

Thanks ladies. It was a low point for me... I'm sure I'll be there again... Most of the time I am able to tell myself that this is the new normal and nothing I can do about it, so might as well embrace the new me but the other day was just a stinker... My husband is so sweet, telling me the important thing is that I'm alive, we've been through this before and we will get through it again and he thinks I'm hot no matter what. That guy deserves a medal! No, a crown! Today I'm going for my PATs so I'm a little more excited. At least this darned uncomfortable TE will be out soon - that's a celebration right there!!!

mommacat4

AlexaP, I still struggle with the emotional part of loosing my breasts. I too have been told things like "your breasts don't make you who you are" and "you are still beautiful to me" but my mind keeps telling me there is something missing, something not right. And of course when I look in the mirror or take a shower I am visually reminded. I still have my tissue expanders in and on certain spots of my breasts I can feel the empty space behind them where my natural breasts used to be. I can't have my implants in until after my radiation therapy and that is expected to be completed at the end of July. So by the time I get my new breasts it will be closer to the end of the year.

I completely understand how you feel and I know you will have good days and bad ones. It's completely alright. And we are here for support. Don't ever feel alone here because you have all of us.

Awest

You girls are all so amazing and kind hearted. Alexa, I'm glad you had a better day. I was worried WITH you.

You're the first I think for the exchange surgery. Can't wait for updates on that!

Last night I sent to a Relay for Life meeting. We had to introduce ourselves and tell our story. So I did. This girl said to me ..... Ya, but weren't you diagnosed really early? WTH!!! She said it like - since I wasn't a stage 3, my journey doesn't rank. Why are people like that? O'well!!!

Anyhow.. As always, it's great to visit with you all on here.

AlexaP

November sisters you are the best! I was so broken-hearted and you all lifted me up with your caring words! I would say something like "you'll never know what that meant to me" but I know you all DO! Thank you!!! Wow what a wonderful support system we have here, I am so grateful for all of you!

I had my PATs yesterday. Assuming that everything is ok (fingers crossed) im pretty much all set to go. PS said come to hospital at 8 next Wednesday; surgery will be at 10. He said he does not usually use drains with exchange surgery (WOOOHOOO) and I'll go home the same day then follow up in his office the next day. He said recovery should be a lot easier than the TE, since it's exchange and not MX and TE... I will have my last preserve all PT next Monday and hopefully will get full strength and feeling back in my arm afterwards. If I don't, I'm going to a neurologist to see if/where there is nerve damage... Sometimes my hand gets so weak from the pain that runs down the back of my arm that I can't squeeze a bottle of shampoo for instance... A little scary! Anyway, only going to think good thoughts now.... I will keep everyone posted. I'm over on the pic boards as bcnowbrca. I've posted a few pics but will do one right before surgery and then will do post-op as soon as it's not horrid to look at lol...

Thanks again ladies. This is a horrid thing to have to go through - for all of us - but at least we can go through it with people who truly understand and care.mmit really does make a difference. And ohmygosh - after all these frigging snowstorms, I can actually hear a BIRD singing outside!!! ☀️☀️☀️GOODBYE WINTER

mom2threeboys

BC is nothing if not a roller coaster, isn't it ladies? At diagnosis and surgery I receivved several nice cards and letters from people across country and I wanted to write brief notes back to thank them for their support. As the roller coaster continued to twist and turn, I'd find myselt thinking I would write those notes as soon as another step was complete in my BC survival process. Finally dawned on me that it takes much longer than expected to reach a point where your direction even comes close to something certain. Seems like the process should be fairly cut and dry. Instead, it is a moving target. It is teaching me be less critical of myself and to manage my expectations and timeline.

Alexa, I feel like we are having a virtual exchange as you and that's a good thing for me as I wait for my turn. I need to try to join the photo forum. I'm hopeful someone else will have photos of their TEs falling off the chest along with photos of the end result. Not a good sign when I google and find nothing at all quite like my foobs.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers next Wednesday!

mom2threeboys

Awest, cancer competition should be outlawed, especially in support group settings! Some people don't have the good sense they were born with and will just always take a self centered approach. If there were a competition, I think I'd let other folks go for the win in the "my disease is worse than yours" approach. Cancer can be "cured" or at least managed. Ignorance can be terminal :-)

Awest

Alexa - when is surgery???

AlexaP

Tomorrow the 18th! I was a nervous wreck yesterday but feel much more calm today lol

They said surgery will start at 9:30am. I'm glad I won't be sitting around all day waiting

For some stupid reason I thought this would be super easy, give it a couple of weeks, but then remembered he's doing pocket work during the revision. Even my husband said no DUH it will be 6 weeks, you need to make sure you heal properly internally! Wow I didn't expect that from him. So wish me luck! Here we gooooo

Awest

Alexa- I have had you heavy on my mind. I want to tell you to remember how far you have already came. YOU'VE GOT THIS SISTER! The bumps in the road are not yet mended but you get to get rid of the ROCKS!

I'll be on my knees praying for your journey. You are one step closer to beating Cancer girlfriend! 😉

I wanted to find a pic of friends holding hands, praying, or in a group hug to remind you that you are not alone. We have your back! Please update us when you can - I want all of the details.

It's okay to be nervous and scared.

In friendship - bonded for always. 💛

AlexaP

Awest thank you! You are a true friend! I'm sure all will be well, I just had a case of the jitters lol

I was MUCH calmer before my MX!

I will keep this picture in my mind. It is wonderful to be surrounded by people who care and get it. Even more so than close family, there is a special understanding that only we sisters can have... So we are all lucky in the sense that we now have each other! And NOVEMBER sisters rock!!!

mommacat4

Alexa, good luck tomorrow with your surgery. I am praying for you too. I can't wait to hear how it went for you. I am so excited that you are so close to the completion of your reconstruction. I am still so far away from mine.

Awest, you are such a wonderful woman. You are so supportive and I know Alexa really appreciates your support and friendship. I love the picture as well.

mom2threeboys

Lifting you up in prayer this morning during your surgery and during the weeks to come as you recover! Lots of virtual hugs coming your way :-)

AlexaP

Thank you, dear friends!

You have reached out to let me know that I am in your thoughts and prayers... Except for this group we are total strangers, yet I receive more care here than from my family. I always thought my family was close knit until now; now I realize it was me always checking Up on them, not the other way around. Well, on second thought, I do have a close knit family - my sisters here! 😊

I'll be sure to let you all know how I am doing as soon as I'm able. Thanks again! xoxo

AlexaP

Drs office justcalled - surgery has been moved to 7:30am!!! I need to be in hospital by 5:30 so I have to be up by 4:00. Awesome. Wake up sign in and zonk out lol