treatment far away from home

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floridagal
floridagal Member Posts: 4
edited March 2015 in Just Diagnosed

Three weeks ago I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma after a routine mammogram and a follow up needle biopsy. Immediately my gyn referred me to a surgeon who told me, you don't need a mastectomy, it is small, you need a lumpectomy. I said what about meeting with an oncologist and a radiologist He told me "no" that comes after surgery. He would not discuss lumpectomy versus mastectomy, radiation and its effects...nothing. I told him I would get a second opinion. And so, after much research, on Tuesday of next week I will go to a NCI facility many states away and meet with a team (surgery oncologist, oncologist, radiation oncology therapist and perhaps a plastic surgeon-appointments scheduled for one day. Then I will need to make a decision as to where to have treatment.

I am single, late 60's and have no family except one son who would be at my surgery and after for a couple of days. After that I would be on my own. That is scary. But I thought that someone on this site might be able to share an experience of seeking treatment in another state, finding accommodations, hiring after care people to help, etc.

Ad tell me how you managed it emotionally. Is this doable?

I posted a similar question a week ago and received one reply and I might add, really helpful. But That person had not sought treatment in another state. Can anyone give me input on your out of state treatment and how you made arrangements for accommodations after care etc.


Thanks for any help you can give me

Comments

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited February 2015

    I hope you will get some responses. I stayed local; I was offered a lumpectomy or mastectomy by the surgeon (who didn't have the greatest 'bedside manner' either....I think surgeons like patients better when they are unconscious!), did my own research, did the surgery (chose a lumpectomy) & then met up with the oncologist after the pathology report. From what I found in my digging around is that if you have a pretty 'normal' cancer (if those two words can be in the same sentence), there will be 'standard of care' treatment recommendation, and you will get the same options wherever you go. Best of luck!

  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited February 2015

    Beesie is a resident expert on the lumpectomy/mastectomy question. I am copying her very good and impartial post on that topic as it may be helpful to you as you are making your decisions:

    "Some time ago I put together a list of considerations for  someone who was making the surgical choice between a lumpectomy,  mastectomy and bilateral mastectomy.  I've posted this many times now  and have continued to refine it and add to it, thanks to great input  from many others.  Some women have gone through the list and decided to  have a lumpectomy, others have chosen a single mastectomy and others  have opted for a bilateral mastectomy. So the purpose is simply to help  women figure out what's right for them - both in the short term but more importantly, over the long term. 

    Before getting to that list, here is some research that  compares long-term recurrence and survival results. I'm including this because sometimes women choose to have a MX because they believe that it's a more aggressive approach.  If that's a big part of someone's rationale for having an MX or BMX, it's important to look at the research to see if it's really true. What the research  has consistently shown is that long-term survival is the same regardless of the type of surgery one has. This is largely because it's not the  breast cancer in the breast that affects survival, but it's the breast  cancer that's left the breast that is the concern. The risk is that some BC might have moved beyond the breast prior to surgery. So the type of  surgery one has, whether it's a lumpectomy or a MX or a BMX, doesn't  affect survival rates.  Here are a few studies that compare the  different surgical approaches:

    Lumpectomy May Have Better Survival Than Mastectomy

    Twenty-Year Follow-up of a Randomized Trial Comparing Total Mastectomy, Lumpectomy, and Lumpectomy plus Irradiation for the Treatment of Invasive Breast  Cancer

    Twenty-Year Follow-up of a Randomized Study Comparing Breast-Conserving Surgery with Radical Mastectomy for Early Breast Cancer

    Now, on to my list of the considerations:

    • Do you want to avoid radiation? If your  cancer isn't near the chest wall and if your nodes are clear, then it  may be possible to avoid radiation if you have a mastectomy. This is a  big selling point for many women who choose to have mastectomies. However you should be aware that there is no guarantee that radiation may not be necessary even if you have a mastectomy, if some cancer cells are found near the chest wall, or if the area of  invasive cancer is very large and/or if it turns out that you are node  positive (particularly several nodes).
    • Do you want to avoid hormone therapy (Tamoxifen or an AI) or Herceptin or chemo? It is very important to understand that if it's believed necessary or  beneficial for you to have chemo or take hormone therapy, it won't make  any difference if you have a lumpectomy or a mastectomy or a bilateral  mastectomy.  (Note that the exception is women with DCIS or  possibly very early Stage I invasive cancer, who may be able to avoid  Tamoxifen by having a mastectomy or a BMX.)
    • Does the length of the surgery and the length of the recovery period matter to you? For most women, a lumpectomy is a relatively easy surgery and recovery.  After a lumpectomy, radiation usually is given for 6 weeks. A mastectomy is a longer, more complex surgery and the recovery period is longer.
    • How will you deal with the side effects from Rads? For most patients the side effects of rads are not as difficult as they expected, but most women do experience some side effects. You should be prepared for some temporary discomfort, fatigue and skin irritation,  particularly towards the end of your rads cycle. Most side effects go  away a few weeks after treatment ends but if you have other health  problems, particularly heart or lung problems, you may be at risk for  more serious side effects. This can be an important consideration and  should be discussed with your doctor.
    • Do you plan to have reconstruction if you have a MX or BMX? If so, be aware that reconstruction, even "immediate" reconstruction, is  usually a long process - many months - and most often requires more than one surgery. Some women have little discomfort during the  reconstruction process but other women find the process to be very  difficult - there is no way to know until you are going through it.
    • If you have a MX or BMX, how will you deal with possible complications with reconstruction? Some lucky women breeze through reconstruction but unfortunately, many have  complications. These may be short-term and/or fixable or they may be  long-term and difficult to fix. Common problems include ripples and  indentations and unevenness. You may have lingering side effects (muscle pain, spasms, itching, etc.) on one side or both (if you have a BMX).  If you don't end up with symmetry (symmetry is not a sure thing by any means, even if you have a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction done on both sides at the same time), will you regret  the decision to remove your breasts or your healthy breast? Are you  prepared for the possibility of revision surgery?
    • How you do feel about your body image and how will this be affected by a mastectomy or BMX? A reconstructed breast is not the same as a real breast. Some women love  their reconstructed breasts while some women hate them.  Most probably  fall in-between. Reconstructed breasts usually looks fine in clothing  but may not appear natural when naked. They may not feel natural or move naturally, particularly if you have implant reconstruction.  If you do  choose to have a MX or BMX, one option that will help you get a more  natural appearance is a nipple sparing mastectomy (NSM). Not all breast  surgeons are trained to do NSMs so your surgeon might not present this  option to you. Ask your surgeon about it if you are interested and if  he/she doesn't do nipple sparing mastectomies, it may be worth the  effort to find a surgeon who does do NSMs in order to see if this option is available for you (your area of cancer can't be right up near the  nipple).
    • If you have a MX or BMX, how do you feel about losing the natural feeling in your breast(s) and your nipple(s)? Are your nipples important to you sexually? A MX or BMX will change your  body for the rest of your life and you have to be prepared for that.  Keep in mind as well that even if you have a nipple sparing mastectomy,  except in rare cases (and except with a new untested reconstruction  procedure) the most feeling that can be retained in your nipples is  about 20% - the nerves that affect 80% of nipple sensation are by  necessity cut during the surgery and cannot be reconnected. Any  breast/nipple feeling you regain will be surface feeling only (or  phantom sensations, which are actually quite common and feel very real); there will be no feeling inside your breast, instead your breast will  feel numb. For some, loss of breast/nipple sensation is a small price to pay; for others, it has a huge impact on their lives.
    • If you have a MX or BMX, how will you deal emotionally with the loss of your breast(s)? Some women are glad that their breast(s) is gone because it was the source  of the cancer, but others become angry that cancer forced them to lose  their breast(s). How do you think you will feel? Don't just consider how you feel now, as you are facing the breast cancer diagnosis, but try to think about how you will feel in a year and in a few years, once this  diagnosis, and the fear, is well behind you.
    • If you have a lumpectomy, how will you deal emotionally with your 6 month or annual mammos and/or MRIs? For the first year or two after diagnosis, most women get very stressed  when they have to go for their screenings. The good news is that usually this fear fades over time. However some women choose to have a BMX in  order to avoid the anxiety of these checks. 
    • Will removal of your breast(s) help you move on from having had cancer or will it hamper your ability to move on? Will you feel that the cancer is gone because your breast(s) is gone? Or  will the loss of your breast(s) be a constant reminder that you had  breast cancer?
    • Appearance issues aside, before making this decision you should find out what your doctors estimate your recurrence risk will be if you have a lumpectomy and radiation. Is this risk  level one that you can live with or one that scares you? Will you live  in constant fear or will you be comfortable that you've reduced your  risk sufficiently and not worry except when you have your 6 month or  annual screenings? If you'll always worry, then having a mastectomy  might be a better option; many women get peace of mind by having a  mastectomy.  But keep in mind that over time the fear will fade, and  that a MX or BMX does not mean that you no longer need checks - although the risk is low, you can still be diagnosed with BC or a recurrence  even after a MX or BMX. Be aware too that while a mastectomy may  significantly reduce your local (in the breast area) recurrence risk, it has no impact whatsoever on your risk of distant recurrence (i.e.  mets).
    • Do you know your risk to get BC in your other (the non-cancer) breast? Is this a risk level that scares you? Or is this a risk level that you can live with? Keep in mind that breast cancer very rarely recurs in the  contralateral breast so your current diagnosis doesn't impact your other breast. However, anyone who's been diagnosed with BC one time is at higher risk to be diagnosed again with a new primary breast cancer  (i.e. a cancer unrelated to the original diagnosis) and this may be compounded if you have other risk factors. Find out your risk level  from your oncologist. When you talk to your oncologist, determine if  BRCA genetic testing might be appropriate for you based on your family  history of cancer and/or your age and/or your ethnicity (those of  Ashkenazi Jewish descent are at higher risk). Those who are BRCA  positive are very high risk to get BC and for many women, a positive  BRCA test result is a compelling reason to have a bilateral mastectomy.  On the other hand, for many women a negative BRCA test result helps with the decision to have a lumpectomy or single mastectomy rather than a  bilateral. Talk to your oncologist. Don't assume that you know what your risk is; you may be surprised to find that it's much higher than you  think, or much lower than you think (my risk was much less than I would  ever have thought).
    • How will you feel if you have a lumpectomy or UMX and at some point in the future (maybe in 2 years or maybe in 30 years) you  get BC again, either a recurrence in the same breast or a new BC in  either breast? Will you regret your decision and wish that you'd had a bilateral mastectomy? Or will you be grateful for the extra time that you had with your breasts, knowing that you made the best  decision at the time with the information that you had?
    • How will you feel if you have a bilateral mastectomy and no cancer or high risk conditions are found in the other breast? Will you question (either immediately or years in the future) why you made  the decision to have the bilateral? Or will you be satisfied that you  made the best decision with the information you had?

    .I hope that this helps. And remember.... this is your decision. How  someone else feels about it and the experience that someone else had  might be very different than how you will feel about it and the  experience that you will have.  So try to figure out what's best for  you, or at least, the option that you think you can live with most  easily, given all the risks associated with all of the options.  Good  luck with your decision!"


     

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited February 2015

    Dear floridagal, Check out this link on our site for information on tips of seeking a second opinion. Perhaps there will be some information of help. The Mods

  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited February 2015

    What part of florida are you in? There are at least 3 major Cancer treatment centers here. Mayo on Jacksonville, Moffitt in Tampa, MD Anderson in Orlando. There may be Cleveland Clinic in Miami.

    Are you close to any of them? I know of a BCO sister here who flies from Washington state to Mayo

  • Denise-G
    Denise-G Member Posts: 1,777
    edited February 2015

    I sought treatment only 60 miles away.  I write a breast cancer blog and hear from MANY women who have gotten treatment in other states away from home.   Also, I've talked to women who live in other countries who have come to the US for treatment.  Especially at MD Anderson in Houston.  I so admire all the sacrifices they have had to make to do this. 

    My suggestion is to call the cancer center you are visiting for your second opinion.  They usually offer help for out-of-town patients.  At the Univ of Michigan where I received treatment, they have a hotel within the hospital, or if that was booked, would find accommodations for you.  They are well schooled at helping patients who are coming from out of town.  Also, at U of M, they had short-term housing for people going through Radiation therapy. 

    I applaud you for going to a cancer center with a team approach before you make your decision about treatment!  I'm single and understand the challenges of going through breast cancer.    You can do it!  Make the decision that you know is right for you!  You will meet amazing people along the way that will help guide your journey!

  • dltnhm
    dltnhm Member Posts: 873
    edited February 2015

    I can't help with the out of state question -but a second opinion cannot hurt. How "small" is something you can investigate on reputable sites also.

    While you are looking into these things and wrapping your mind around your diagnosis, just try not to get too ahead of yourself. It helped me immensely to have met with and assembled a team in the event that one or more of them was necessary after surgery. In my case, each step of imaging revealed more. It ended up that I needed all of them.

    But as I told a friend who just went through a diagnosis of IDC with a "small" tumor, knowledge is power but the odds were well in her favor that she would be the "rule". My situation was the exception.

    She learned this week that she indeed is the rule. Florida has many highly respected cancer centers where you would be able to get a good second opinion.

    So sorry you have to go through this.


  • rleepac
    rleepac Member Posts: 755
    edited February 2015

    I can' speak to going to a different state but I am traveling from 'rural' Central Valley, CA to the big city of San Francisco to go to a comprehensive cancer center at UCSF and boy am I glad I made that choice!

    My local BS was willing to do bilat mastectomy although he only thought lumpectomy was needed. He didn't do a SNB or care about genetic testing (despite family history and 75% Jewish ancestry). He also didn't want to send me to MO until after surgery. He also said that no scans were necessary unless later...down the road sometime...I had symptoms. My local PS was also on-board for BMX but is not trained in skin-sparing or nipple/aereola-sparing MX and said that it wasn't an option for me. After looking at his pictures and his comment 'my job is to make you look good in a sweater' - I truly feel like I would have been butchered!

    I opted for a transfer of care to the UCSF comprehensive breast cancer center. Top notch place! Met with the BS first and she took my case to the 'Tumor Board' because the first surgeon didn't do a SNB but did find one micro-met in an adjacent lymph node. The 'Tumor Board' unanimously recommended chemo BEFORE surgery. The BS also thought a lumpectomy would be adequate treatment but was completely understanding and fine with my desire for a BMX. The BS and PS have done extensive work on skin-sparing/nipple/aereola-sparing MX and their post-op pictures were absolutely amazing (compared to the local PS pics that looked like work done in a 3rd world country). They also had me consult with a genetic counselor and they are running BRCA 1/2 (with reflex) testing. Then, the MO office called me before my appointment with him and said that he wanted a PET scan before chemo starts.

    I truly feel that I am getting the best possible care and I am willing to drive 2+ hours to get it. My BS (although she is probably biased) said if she had a family member dx with breast cancer, she would fly them across the country to come to UCSF. My BS is only one of about 10 BS and dozens of other members of the 'team'. The team approach is what makes me most comfortable. Even if you don't opt to go somewhere else to get treatment - I highly recommend a second opinion at a comprehensive cancer center.

  • wrenn
    wrenn Member Posts: 2,707
    edited February 2015

    I'm in Canada but am 68 and live alone. I took a plain tylenol the day after bilateral mastectomies and was fine. I could manage things on my own by having groceries in before surgery and having items on the counters (hard to reach up sometimes). The drains were a nuisance but manageable. I hope you find a doctor you will trust and that things go smoothly for you.

  • BrooksideVT
    BrooksideVT Member Posts: 2,211
    edited February 2015

    I'm guessing you chose your center because it's near your son? As it happens, my three sons all live in the northeast, and all live near different NCI centers, so where I'd stay was not an issue. I chose Dartmouth, two hours away, where I'd been having my mammograms, had had my biopsy, and also had a couple of other specialists. Loved the team approach! Before surgery, I met with the BS, the PS, and the decision-making team. My BS presented my tumor to the tumor board and all agreed that surgery was my first step, and that I would not meet my MO and RO until after they'd had a chance to review the surgical pathology. I could not decide between lumpectomy and mastectomy (single or double) with immediate DIEP, but I just wanted the thing OUT, so I chose lumpectomy, knowing insurance would cover the DIEP if I subsequently decided to go that path.

    After reading all the post-mastectomy and reconstruction threads here, and learning about some of the lingering side effects, I am so happy I chose lumpectomy! I took painkillers on day one, took one at bedtime the second day, and that was it. I'm not sure whether I drove myself home on day two or three, but remember quite clearly that on day four I was outside chopping ice on my walkway. Oh, and despite having two golf ball-sized lumps (one benign) removed from my B-C cup breast, I look absolutely fine.

    While your NCI team will plan your treatment, you have the option of having rads and/or chemo (should you need them) in your home area, with the NCI docs prescribing and supervising your treatment.

    As someone already mentioned, your center will be well-equipped to arrange housing for you. For an example of how out-of-town residence and recovery might work, do read the NOLA in September thread here, where women discuss their experiences travelling to New Orleans for surgery and recovery.

    Also, do maybe let us know which center you'll be going to. If you do decide to hang around for rads or chemo, you might enjoy meeting a "local" or two.


  • Kicks
    Kicks Member Posts: 4,131
    edited February 2015

    B sure to meet with the Breast Cancer Navigator at whatever facility you go to. They are a wealth of info and help.

  • mysunshine48
    mysunshine48 Member Posts: 1,480
    edited February 2015

    My question is how do you travel to places that are 2 - 3 hours away? I am 66, no family near. I have a good friend who said she could come for 2 weeks, but I have no idea if I can drive that far....and home.....for treatment. I still have to have an MRI to see what is realy going on. My GYN referred me to a local surgeon, but I don't like the way the GYN acted. She was cold and did not seem to care. She basically said, well, you can go where you want. As soon as I can, I am going to get a new GYN!

    I think I would feel much more comfortable with a place with all the people needed in one place, but travel is a problem. Anyone have any ideas? Are there people or groups who can help or I can pay to drive me?

  • mysunshine48
    mysunshine48 Member Posts: 1,480
    edited February 2015

    I am in Florida too and am sort of in the same position you are. I am in Bonita Springs. Where are you?

    As I said in another post, I am looking to driving to Tampa.......somehow.

  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited February 2015

    hi Sunshine! I'm a little foggy on geography, Bonita is close to Ft Meyers? Ok, that's a good hike. Do you have your treatment plan yet? I guess you're going to Moffitt? They should be able to help you, maybe stay up here during treatment than commute. And treatment SE is different for everybody. Some are able to work, others not so much.

    It would be good to have it lined up, but you might not need it.

    Keep in touch!

  • Denise-G
    Denise-G Member Posts: 1,777
    edited February 2015

    Florida ladies - I've talked to women who have been very satisfied with their treatment at

    Cleveland Clinic in Weston in Western Ft Lauderdale.    Still not close to Bonita Springs, but not a bad

    drive across Alligator Alley.  Just thought I would throw that out there.

  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited February 2015

    I thought there was Cleveland Clinc south of me, but wasn't 100% sure on that. Yes, another good choice for her.

    Really no need to leave Florida, lots of good treatment choices here in state,.

    Moffitt is closest to me, has always been my plan B

  • bc101
    bc101 Member Posts: 1,108
    edited February 2015

    I had a bad experience with my local clinic so decided to have my treatment at a teaching university breast center. However I ended up changing providers in midstream because I wasn't satisfied with the way things were going. So for my BMX, I decided to go to a major cancer center that is 3 hours from my home. I will never regret it. My team was exceptional. The center uses a multi-disciplinary approach. Instead of one doctor, I had access to an unlimited source of specialists. It was amazing and so worth the drive.

    I didn't have to have radiation or chemo, but if I did I could have stayed at the Hope Lodge. I was lucky in that my husband was able to drive me to all my appointments. However a couple of times when he couldn't, I used a shuttle service that worked out pretty well. I drove to the pickup spot at a mall where they had van shuttles because it is a major shopping destination. Twice I had a family member drive me. If my husband couldn't have taken off work, a friend of mine in Florida offered to come stay with me and help take care of me. All you need is one good friend who is willing to go to the moon and back with you on this journey. They are out there. Sometimes you just have to reach out and let them know what you need.

    Good luck to you!

  • Togetherness
    Togetherness Member Posts: 202
    edited March 2015

    Mysunshine I am in fort Myers and had treatment here and was very pleased with the care I received at Florida Cancer. I had IDC stage 2 with four chemo treatments and no radiation. I had a bilateral masectomy with reconstruction and just had my implants put in 4 weeks ago. Second opinions are always good and Moffitt is great but I needed my friends and family. Wish you well!!

  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited March 2015

    I went through all my treatment with Fl Cancer Specalists in Clearwater. They were/are excellent. But Humana decided to kick them out of network, so I had to find a new MO.

    I think I got the last laugh, my new MO used to be with FCS.

  • Kalonis52
    Kalonis52 Member Posts: 134
    edited March 2015

    Honey, I had IDC in 2006. I went to Lee Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa. It is a wonderful place to get treatment. Look into it.

    www.moffitt.org

    Good Luck,

    Kaloni Winking

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