INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

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  • Rosevalley
    Rosevalley Member Posts: 3,061
    edited February 2015

    OMD you guys.. so funny. I have a serious question to those of you with teenage girls. What have you done to help your kids when they get vicious phone texts from other 7th graders? I mean yesterday we were sitting on the bed my 13 year old and I, and she gets these floods of texts from another girl.. "bitch you get bad Karma, everybody hates you. Nobody likes you." wait a bit... more venom.."bitch .... blah blah.." I mean it went on and on. My DD started to cry.. So I texted back all these sweet things.. "have a nice weekend. Sorry you feel so angry." etc.. finally the other kid stopped. I told her to return kindness at every nasty word and not get upset since clearly that's what the other kid wanted. Any ideas?

    Seriously Chevy was the tripod of girls you? Amazing photos. We are expecting a monsoon of rain... what's new.

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  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited February 2015

    Rose, I think it's cyber-bullying. Around here the schools can get involved in that. I'm long gone from the school scene, have no other ideas.

    Stay dry?

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  • PattyPeppermint
    PattyPeppermint Member Posts: 11,162
    edited February 2015

    ohh cami and Chevy are back. Yes. Sweet. Too funny

    Hey all - SAS. I didn't see your message cause my head still hurts. Hurts to read , specially to focus in typing and laying down is. best. I had a history of migraines before my thyroid was found hypo. Since I have been on synthroid for about 4-5 years I have only had maybe 2 Befire this. Was thinking the vomiting from the pain med, anesthesia , pain , spasm was not allowing the synthroid to stay in my body long enough before vomiting to be effective. Was hoping it would line right out. Better every day. Def will call pain mgnt dr mon. I have a follow up appt on wed but don't want to wait that long.

    Hootie hoo to all for now. Bbl

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  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited February 2015

    Seriously hope they come out next week but with the last couple of days the fluid output had gone up. Hoping tonight they go down and keep going down. The bright side of the last two days is that the car had been fixed!

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  • Beachbum1023
    Beachbum1023 Member Posts: 1,417
    edited February 2015

    Hi M0mmyof2, great news on the car, another thing off the to do list. My drains were in 11 days total, but I had surgery 12/15 so I had the holidays. So I had them a couple extra days because the office was closed. But not really a bad thing I guess. And the fluid did go up before it dropped way down. But the removal was a cake walk. Tickled a little, a band aid and on my way.

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  • luvmygoats
    luvmygoats Member Posts: 2,942
    edited February 2015

    Rose - that is soo sad about the texts. Can you explain to your daughter that the sad person texting that s**t is doing it because she is miserable (the one doing the texting). One way to make yourself feel better though not a good way is to tear someone else down. That's what I used to do with my DD but thank goodness long b4 texts since she's 27. It was Friday night - was it at some kind of sleepover kind of thing? "Let's find someone to pick on". Great response and bet the texter was floored since she was no doubt expecting the same carp back. Or "please stop, please, oh pretty please" Agree with Spookie that school might need to get involved. But #1 is build your DD up which I'm sure you are doing. Maybe time for special DD/Mom activity if only a trip to the ice cream store

    Wish you could send some of the monsoon just N of us. I think they have resorted to drinking recycled UM discard water.

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited February 2015


    Patty, lovey, if you had onset of headache after surgery, with associated s/s of vomiting, positional changes that makes s/s better or worse it should be reported. You are assuming that your past medical history is part of this problem and that your perhaps not absorbing your Snythroid. Well at least you are through the worst b/c you said your symptoms are improving. But you may be deluding yourself. The fact that your symptoms are worse when you are up and better when you are flat lends towards a spinal headache. That is way different than a migraine.

    Spinal leaks can self seal that would be evidenced by s/s's resolving. But a blood patch may be needed. There I said it.

    I'm going to be a real brat here b/c I love you. CALL YOUR PAIN DOC. It's not fair to him or you for you to self diagnose when he's responsible for the surgery he did on you. If there is a spinal leak he will want to know. DO YOU WANT ME TO GET INTO ALL THE BAD TROUBLE YOU CAN GET INTO? (I have my hands figuratively on my hips and I'm tapping my foot)

    At the very least drink two liters of coca- cola a day. The fluid helps to replace the fluid lost in a leak and the caffeine in the cola helps with the headache. I suppose mountain dew can accomplish the same thing.

     I'm not pulling this stuff out of my ass. sweetie.

    Reread your post, missed the spasms---------girl pay attention to me

    If you get a temp call EMS                  am I getting through

    Call your pain doc

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited February 2015

    Patty BTW any idea on what page I wrote those pain interventions

    Chevy I know you said you were going to save that info. I need to get the pain scale revisions

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited February 2015

    Rose google your state and cyberbullying. Here in Florida they passed a state law re:Cyberbullying. Keep all texts related to the bullying as evidence.

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  • Rosevalley
    Rosevalley Member Posts: 3,061
    edited February 2015

    Luvmygoats, Sassy, Spookie- I sat with my kid and we talked about who are real friends and fair weather friends and when to set boundaries. My DD is an emotionally YOUNG, immature 7th grader and wants everyone to like her. We (Mom/Dad) spend lots of time trying to explain how impractical and unlikely it is that everyone will like you. Pick a few kids and ignore the drama. She's a good kid, highly motivated at school, works hard, loves sports but she is by nature a serious kid, not happy sunny la-la-la easy going. I mean if you got left in a movie theater as a toddler, dumped in an special needs orphanage, 3 foster homes before the blued eyed- red haired giant spirited you away from China to a land where nothing smelled, tasted or looked the same, you would be serious too. Survival is a biggie and she is ever vigilant. Maybe because of the deafness too. It's very isolating. She wants connection to the marrow of her being, just like all other middle school kids, and maybe more so because of being adopted.

    I was hoping if you kill the other kid with kindness and never return "fire" then it would stop. It worked last night. I am trying to tell my kid to turn off the phone. You are right luvmygoats- kids who do such things are not happy. It amazes me that the kids still use such abusive language when I know the school counselors have held many sessions with kids, as a group and one on one, to stop the abusive language. Last year my kid got nailed with sending a nasty text session (basically a fight via text between 2 )and she was read the riot act. She stopped; we look at her phone and messaging. She knows it too. We demand a hand over - like last night. Still there are some raging bullies at the school. I hear it from other parents, same thing. There just are not very many Chinese kids at the school and most of them tend to be rather dedicated students and hard workers, which makes them targets. If you all think of any nifty ideas or comebacks - PM me or write them.

    Patty- Sassy is right about the head aches. if you have a leak and leave it unattended there can be serious consequences. So just call and run it past the doc on call at the pain center. Do not minimize the head ache pain, vision issues and report any numbness tingling you experience, or changes in position causing symptoms. Hopefully it's nothing. Better a quick call and leave it to them. I hope things continue to improve for you.

    I hope it improves for Blondie, Holeinone, Momof2 and everyone else I missed. Special hugs to Jwoo..

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited February 2015

    Patty, quote from Rose "Patty- Sassy is right about the head aches. if you have a leak and leave it unattended there can be serious consequences. So just call and run it past the doc on call at the pain center. Do not minimize the head ache pain, vision issues and report any numbness tingling you experience, or changes in position causing symptoms. Hopefully it's nothing. Better a quick call and leave it to them. I hope things continue to improve for you. "

    Patty the doc will be happy that you called him. Trust me they would rather have symptoms reported early rather than late. I have seen docs cry b/c they couldn't do something b/c it was to late. Your symptoms are saying he needs to know. Let him decide what plan to follow. The last part of my last post was very dramatic b/c I wasn't getting through that you needed to make a phone call.

    HUGS

    Rose, I think the way you are managing the bullying is masterful. Just suggested checking out if there's a bullying statute b/c I had to use the Florida statute last year b/c I was being stalked. Never thought it would get to that, but when it did, it was very nice to have the statute in hand to back me up

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  • luvmygoats
    luvmygoats Member Posts: 2,942
    edited February 2015

    ((((HUGS)))) Rose and for your sweet daughter. Don't know any comebacks except just what you are doing with her.

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited February 2015

    Rose- that is awful about your daughter and those texts. I don't have kids, but think one would also be able to block that number from any incoming calls or texts? I agree the school should be notified.

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  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited February 2015

    Rosie!!!!!!!!!!I think I would be so pissed, I would report them to the school. I know that would be hard on your Daughter...... but that is bullying! I'm just so sorry.... I feel so bad for your Daughter...

    You were very calm about it..... Oh let ME get on that cell phone, if MY Daughter was bullied!!!!! Those girls would not know what HIT them.

    Damn good thing they didn't have cell-phones in those days.... Okay, kindness is nice, but a good bat, or stick of dynamite is even better! Damn those kids! I think I really would report them to their school, and let them handle it.... Bullying can really HURT those kids! I'm sorry....

    Okay yes.... It was me standing on Ivan's shoulders.... I LOVED that Acrobat class.... until he and another guy were swinging me around in a back-bend, and then when I was over their heads, one was supposed to catch me.... but I fell down on gymnasium floor on the back of my head....

    And that's when I had a severe brain-concussion with amnesia, and helped me forget all of my childhood years.... all of my school years.... I see the pictures of those times, but I don't remember being there....

    Okay now shut-up Cammi! I just KNOW she is going to say that's what led to my demise and become a world-renown pole dancer! Hah.... But a darned good one at that....

    Hey Peppermint & Mom

    Yes Littlegoats! And Mom 2.... Report those damn little girls! Of all the nerve! They will keep doing it, until some sort of intervention happens!

    Wait..... does she need that phone? I don't know how we survived with one phone in the house....!!!! At least the kids weren't so sneaky! I know "they all have one" but ..... Oh God.... I don't know how we survived!

    Ah geez.... Sass is going to be a brat..... join the club kiddo.... so am I! We NEED to be brats sometimes..... and so is Cammi She is our mentor... She can be our teacher.... of something....

    We need to get Cammi in on this.... where IS she....??? Probably out making a Walmart run or something.... In her Pajama's....

    Yes.... save the texts.... and notify the damn school.... It just makes ME mad because I HAVE Daughter's.... I remember one time when the youngest one had a worthless boyfriend, and she broke up with that little piss-ant, and he took her SHOES, and didn't give them back to her.... and she walked home crying!

    Dh went TO his house.... had a little "talk" with that little beetle-brain, got her shoes back, and he never bothered her again.

    Us Mom's need to take charge here.... You want ME to come out there? I just de-activated my FB account.... I am just too old for that nonsense.... and sometimes you see stuff on there, you wished you HADN'T seen....

    image

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  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited February 2015

    image

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  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited February 2015

    Rose, stop making excuses for both girls. Middle school is hard to get through anyway. Their hormones are exploding, peer pressure, grades, parents,life in general.

    Doesn't matter if your DD is Chinese and adopted. Kids would bully if she was green with orange spots. I've seen them do it if you don't have the "right" sneakers. Or the "right" hair style. Or whatever is "right" this week.

    If this brat is doing this to your DD, I'd bet the farm she's doing it to other kids too. It's not harmless girl stuff. I heard of a young girl who killed herself because of it.

    The school needs to know. They should have procedure in place to deal with it properly.

    You asked

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  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited February 2015

    Feeling a bit better about the drains. Output dropped a bit today, hope it keeps going, getting sick of these dagnabit things!


     

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited February 2015

    Mommy- I hope the drains can come out this week. That shower will be waiting for you!

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  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited February 2015

    She's green with orange spots? No wonder.....Seriously Rosie.... Spookie is right..... the school has to know.... girls like that do more than bully.... they take away a girls self'esteem.... The schools know how to handle this.... I myself would go up there with a water-pistol....

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited February 2015


    This may be on the next page, but the Florida statute was written after the girl killed herself b/c of cyberbullying that Spookie referred too. Familiarizing yourself with the statute in your own state will define steps to take in reporting cyberbullying and who to report too. It then defines what the agencies that you report to responsibilities in action. Then it defines other recources and penalties.

    Chevy  Yay loved how DH handled the shoe scenario.

    Spookie loved your description

    Rosie again you are masterful.

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited February 2015

    Did  several posts today on the constipation thread on how a doc evaluates a problem reported by a patient. The intent of the posts is to have a tool that we as patients can report and track things as patients. As patients we want docs to listen and work through our problems. Rosie's insightful rant and another BCO's member question caused me to mull over how we can get docs to pay attention. Use as you will or ignore :)

    https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/6/topic/781867?page=17#idx_495


     

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  • Rosevalley
    Rosevalley Member Posts: 3,061
    edited February 2015

    I will call and talk to the counselors at the school. I just love them and have such respect for them. They have a hard job. You are right spookie probably nothing to do with being Chinese. My white haired daughter got bullied and made her cry over being teased she was an "albino freak." Her choir teacher stopped the choir one morning and said enough! This girl is not albino stop! That was years ago. Now my white haired daughter dyes her hair brown.. to blend. Kids are cruel. It breaks my heart because her natural hair color is a true stunning white! I am sure my DD would say it was her decision to go brown but I wonder.

    We have had some suicides here because of bullying.. being a kid can be hard. We have had some other things happen too, that required more drastic interventions (a talk by the police) and stopped thankfully. It just seems like a non stop thing.. ugh. The school already bans phones during the day -YAY! I am happy to report this same girl texted my DD and said she was sorry. So maybe sending back daisies to all cannon fire works??!! I hope so. My DD seems better today, done family things all day.

    I am adding to this post - got such cute pictures back of oldest DD from the Dance! She looked so cute in her dress. She and one of the other residents were all jazzed up. Adorable. I will try and get a picture. Night.


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  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited February 2015

    Yes Rosie.... send pictures! I wonder what got that little brat-face girl to thinking about it... ?? Maybe it WAS your kind way of putting it right back on her, and just maybe she started thinking about it, and how she could have HURT someone...

    But i would still talk to the school about this.... I just think SOME things have to be taken care of... If my DH hadn't have gone to this kids house, I would have called his Mother, or gone there myself... It just hurts YOU, not to mention your Daughter, when someone hurts them, whether physically or mentally.

    I remember STILL, the time one of our neighbors told me... "Why are you so ugly?" And I didn't know what to tell her... I was about 7... I just went home and cried... and since she made me feel like I really WAS ugly, I didn't want anyone else to know that I really maybe WAS ugly.. so I never told anyone....

    I'll bet that bitch is REALLY ugly now! Hah! Guess I showed HER! I'm so glad your Daughter has YOU... on her side... She knows NOW, that people may hurt her, but she will go on.... even stronger than before....

    She colors her hair! Well, that's the style... At least it ain't that bright green or red.... or IS it? Do I have to come out there and do a make-over? We did that once with my Brother... He was such a dweeb... He was.... (still is) a year younger than me, and he always followed me and my girlfriends around.... with his little rolled up jeans, his WIDE brown belt... and his plain ole' shirts...

    So WE fixed him....! Made him look like a real DUDE! And he LIKED it! I should send him some of those pictures...

    image

    Well, this is one of my favorites... Dad was taking our picture, and none of us could see Kenny acting his usual silly self.. ! Mom was NOT happy... And Grandma is on the left, Grampa was seated with us... (looking like he wanted NOTHING to do with us kids...Ha!)

    image

    My Dad was in the Navy during WW2... So Mom made us uniforms to match his... You know, I can still do those poses like that...

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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited February 2015

    Good Morning Ladies---

    Well Chevy u said it u'r self see how easy it is to have u'r legs spread, it was then and it still is. Good for u, BTW is this declared as income?

    Patty just call who u need to call and have this headache checked out. I never knew any of the other stuff, so please cal someone.

    Rose my heart just flopped over---Teens can be so cruel and explosive and sad and every emotion that's in the book. But bullying is so horrible---this is all newer to us but I think u really handed it well, just kill with kindness. But they do say to let the counselors know now, it' very important or everyone concerned. Oh that's just so mean, I don't understand why anyone would bully anyone else to begin with, I mean if u don't like them fine just leave them alone, not everyone likes everyone, but to make fun or be mean to me is evil. I'm sorry u'r DD has to go thru any of this.

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  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited February 2015

    Just sitting back and relaxing at the moment before I finish my coffee and get breakfast. Taking it as easy as possible. Got a load of laundry to do with huuby's help and then prepare dinner to cook in Crock-Pot!

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited February 2015

    Chevy- you look like Shirley Temple in that little sailors outfit! How cute!

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  • Rosevalley
    Rosevalley Member Posts: 3,061
    edited February 2015

    Jaz- I thought the same thing! Shirley Temple.. the smile and dimples and the cute sailor dress.

    Chevy you were really adorable and your neighbor was a witchy-poo to tell you you were ugly. I love the old photos.. your brother seems just like my brothers.. goofin for the camera. My blond daughter's hair is a tasteful soft brown. Funny when the white roots come in it makes her look like she is prematurely grey, when in fact she has true platinum blond hair- snow white and just gorgeous.

    Sassy- there is another gal on the Mets forum who is interested in any thyroid connection between breast cancer. I thought of you since you seem to know so much about it and suffer from effects. You might take a peak and or send her your wealth of information on it.

    Patty hope the headaches are behind you. Blondie hope you are thriving and getting TLC in rehab with your punk purple hair and matching cast! Are you going to join the red hat society where the women wear purple and bright red hats when they get old? Holeinone are you feeling better after the surgery? Hugs to everyone I missed who struggle with drains, pains, SE and life in Cancerland. Cami- kids are mean for sure.. these phones just give them a more discrete tool for spreading nastiness!

    I will be happy to see ortho doc this coming week. Legs are so achy.. endless. Kept me up last night; that icky dull relentless ache. For all of you that are stage 3 and less, heads up when you get a bone ache that just doesn't quit and is not from pre-existing injury or arthritis. It's most likely bone mets. If they blow you off get your PCP to investigate. Words of advice from the trenches. :-) Oh and "you can get cancer in your knees!"


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  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited February 2015

    Just caught something in Roses post. Has anybody ever been involved with the Red Hat Ladies? I did, but it wasn't a good match. Anybody?

    Blondie, we could have matched purple casts!!!!image

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  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited February 2015

    It's because of that purple cast Spookie! Spray paint it red, and try it again..... Who are the red hat ladies?

    You mean THESE "ladies" Spooks?

    image

    No, they look rather morally lacking.... I mean not even EYE would go out like that.... Cammi MAYbe.... but not me...

    This one reminds me of you, me and Sass!


    image


    image

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  • Smaarty
    Smaarty Member Posts: 2,951
    edited February 2015

    yes, spookie, I did Red Hats. Twice, two different groups, several years apart. Just didn't work out.

    That cast is from some time ago, right?

    Waiting for DS to come visit and have dinner. Making turkey. The other kids are coming too. So about 15 people for his birthday and Bon voyage. His last visit for 6 months. He leaves for Aussie at end of month. Sure going to miss him. We'll talk by facetime but that doesn't alway work well.

    Hi to all. It raining here! Hallelujah! Suppose to continue for the week, off and on. Take care, got to go clean house

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