INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

http://www.wimp.com/yarnknitting/

Enerva! Did you see THIS?

your are right jazzy,,,it just happens. It has been a 13 year journey for me. Never went off treatment , made me take a 21 dy breaK once. Prob a good thing cause I had fluid fillings in my lungs. On treatment again and almost back to full lung capacity. I di not keep silient, did however move many many many into my outer ring.haha.i kept those close who can listen and just let me talk about stuff. And the don't add any comments . They say things when I am done talking like, what fun thing do you want to do this week, or can in come over and in knit with you.

Somehow you have to figure a way you can handle what is ahead of you and keep people close the will be in the fire with you letting you be you !

I have lost friends and fam members over this cause I refuse to eat the asparegus that will cure me. I have actually been the not nice sue...and said you want come run with me...oh right , you can't keep up,,,and that me on 13 years of cancer...you wanna run by me a axactly what I'm doing bad. And further more, while you are pooping all the chocolates in you mouth, chips and pop....evidently you don't believe in preventive precautions . How easy it is to try to control someone else's life and the can't control their ows...those our outer curls, or gone girls.

Ok chevy.....she I was growing up, my brother was 2 years ahead of me....I was proud of my big brother, he of course wouldn't walk next to my...but everyone knew he was my big brother cause of my big mouth and me chasing him on the playground. Well, they called him big tuna....I then got called little tuna.

I one of the salons I worked, three chair salon, we were three Susan's. I wear labeled sueann. Not sure I like either.

It's interesting, when I an with my old friends I am sue, with my knew friends I am Susan, and then there are the really old friend that say hey...hi, cause we need a moment to come up with the name

Have a good all

Hi ladies- my BS office just called and pushed my six month check up with her tomorrow out to March. Ugh. Well, my other stuff was clear (good blood work with the MO and mammo and ultrasound okay), so I am going to focus on getting back to work now on a new consulting gig. They said as long as there were no new problems, March will be okay.

Rather than be frustrated, I am going to shift to an attitude of gratitude to say I am two years out from end of treatment and doing well! My focus now is on better health, weight loss, etc. I did my monthly check in with the personal trainer and lost another % of internal body fat and another inch around my waist. Getting closer to my goals!

I learned pretty young (in my early 30s) who could deal with the hard stuff. I had some very serious things going on in my family and a lot of people avoided me, or acted like no biggie with some really hard things going on in my life, and learned then not everyone does the tough stuff. Either they can't, or don't want to. I had people be honest with some things going on then like "I don't know how to help you" and I would be very clear with them about what I needed and what was not helpful. That is an early skill I developed that helped me through other difficult times that have followed.

Some of the best advice I ever got around dealing with people during hard times came from a counselor I was seeing during a healthcare crisis of one of my parents in my 40s. She said "during difficult times, if people cannot help you, push them to the periphery and pick up with them later. You don't need to be helping people through their feelings or needs during difficult times." That wisdom has helped me many times through the years.

What I have learned is that you don't have to experience something to have empathy for others. I do believe people that either have had cancer or have helped others during treatment are your best support system. It is great when people can just be present with you. I have had great support from people who have not had cancer either. They just cared about me and did what they could to help from near or far.

Susan- oh yes, I have had lots of advice from people before, during, and after treatment too. Wow, I did not know asparagus would cure you, although I have been told the colon cleanse will keep your reoccurrence down. I too have friends who can be present with me even now, and ask how I am doing from time to time. I have others that still act like I just had the flu or something. I remind myself with the later that has more to do with their coping skills than mine.

Oh and I am helping a friend who is going through cancer treatment right now myself. She is in her second round of chemo. She has a gyn cancer, and saw her after her surgery in Dec, brought her some things to eat, had a good visit. She is now back to work and doing chemo too so we are keeping in touch with calls. Right now she is trying to cope with chemo and working so I am not putting any pressure on to visit. But we did talk about a visit soon when she is up to it. I told her I would run any errands she needs too. Paying it forward to another sister going through treatment.

Wishing the newbees here a good support system to help you through!

I don't think the medical system realizes they are talking themselves out of a job. If sugar causes all ills and exercise is the cure, why do we need them?

Chevy finger knitting how did I miss that talent. Claire just got me into arm knitting did this last light

Sass- The PET /CT scan showed a large blob of white across the femoral shaft just below the hip. It looks like it goes clear across side to side. Radiologist said "at risk for pathological fracture, follow-up clinically." The 2nd opinion doc made a case for get it taken care of before it breaks or you'll be sorry. SO I made an ortho appointment for 2 weeks from now the earliest they could get me in. Interestingly it doesn't hurt there but down further where it aches relentlessly and in my left knee. He said it might be referred pain, maybe they could radiate it. My right hip hurts more then the left! I think because I transfer all my weight (alot) to my right hip, trying to keep weight off my left lower femur where it hurts. Then the other spots of pain and misery are explained by the scan. Not surprised. The aromasin must have been working because blood counts are great. My bone marrow recovered. Alas the bones are being eaten again. This doctor mentioned 4 options, 2 just have me wildly depressed, one isn't approved yet and the other my oncologist said he would NOT give me again. So here I sit, utterly conflicted about doing anything. I haven't called my MO, but I might if for just pain meds since I am nearly out. It would be nice to be more comfortable, if nothing else.

Chevy- I suppose. I have a cane that I got at Fubon Asian Market for 3 bucks! Some weird Chinese wood. works though. We have crutches that my kid used last year when she had surgery on her foot. Maybe I will try that. I have uptake in my right humerus and that will ache only if I lay on my stomach up on my elbows putting pressure on it. The crutches shouldn't aggrevate that.The left upper arm never hurts because they cut all the nerves in it, when they did the axillary disection 17 nodes out. So it can light up on a scan but never hurts. There is cancer in the right femur proximal and distal, both knees, tibia and distal ends of the femur. Funny this 2nd opinion doc wasn't even going to scan my knees but I begged the radiologist and sure enough- cancer in both. Wish doctors would listen to patients. I am just hanging out in my chair... no moving or walking and no pain. Kind of limiting but effective. I will have to decide something... procrastinating like that will accomplish anything but avoiding the ultimate! haha.. the games we play in Cancerland. My pets missed me and all I have done is pet and cuddle with all my furballs.... lovely.

I have to add that I was gone just 10 days and got back and my tulips are coming up!! In January??? I have lovely round pink camillia flowers and the Camilia bushes are loaded with buds. My lenten roses are ALL popping up and budding... holy cow winter just vanished and spring SPRUNG! I am not complaining, just so surprised!!

walkers are great. For about three months I had to use a walking stick, but as stable as the carts in the grocery store...lol so I think chevy is right, walkers, with the seats are the way to go. Have a chair ib bathroom when I can't stand to wash. That works great to.....transfer bench next so I dont slip liked chevy...lo

You guys.... when you get chemo, does that treat all of your body, or is it generalized? I had thought it went through your body, and woukl work on any cancer cells.... unlike radiation, which is more localized...

You can see how much EYE know.... I just thought that chemo would help you all over.... different types I know.... It's like you are chasing that evasive med that will help!

I'm so sorry Rosie..... I have to figure something else out for you.... Go buy a Kneeler... That way you can work in your garden where your Tulips are coming up! I have one, and it helps around the house, AND the gardens!

This is it.... It really helps me getting down AND up! Can you work in your garden? You can turn this upside down, and sit on it....

I just heard that Nevada has a vote up for legalizing pot. Can you imagine, you can play slots and smoke a doobie, all at that same time?

sugar cakes, if you do Facebook, you might want to see about setting up a friends group just for your BC. I have a friend who's triple negative and now about 6 months out since her last treatment. It was an easy way to keep people up to date and to let them help as needed. She had meals sent to her and the family, car rides when needed, etc. got lots of encouragement from friends out of her area too. Something to think about

Smarty- I had one friend who lives back in my home state who I thought would be better about it. She very quickly distanced herself from me and then remembered that summer before, she had lost some work associates to advanced melanoma. She was really freaked out about it when those friends passed, and then when I remembered that, I got it that she was not going to go there with me. So I let her stay at a distance.

She e-mailed me at one point about how I was doing during treatment (rads at that point) and had a lot of fatigue. I don't need to tell any of you how that can take over sometimes. She was not understanding about that either, and I got a big lecture about being depressed. I told her the fatigue was from treatment, then I stopped talking to her.

She tried to resume with me at one point hoping to see me if I was back east (I was last summer and did not let her know) and with e-mails about whatever was going on in her world. My fair weather friend came back! At this point, I just send a Xmas card to let her know I am doing okay. I am not sure I am even going to do that this next year. The friendship just sort of feels over (but also think it was fading before anyways). Sometimes we need to let some relationships have their natural ending.

So I understand the friend you don't see so much anymore. Bet we all have a few of those after this. I am thankful for the ones who went through it with me and still stick around!

My Mom had polio. We have had quite an outbreak of measles on the West Coast and stupid parents think getting an MMR vaccine will kill their kids, or make them autistic. Ignorance. My adopted daughter is just a gem. Genetics think she had rubella, or rather Mom had rubella. So my DD is mildly retarded, mildly autistic and deaf. For the want of a 15$ vaccine she would be perfect. My Mom told us stories that when she had polio, the kid next door died and the one on the other side of her house ended up in a wheel chair. After therapy and all, my Mom learned to walk. She is fine. So all my kids got vaccinated. We have a Walforf school in Portland Oregon where something like 30% of the kids are unvaccinated. Incredible. The parents need to walk around the airport in Bangkok and see the beggars, blind, withered legs propped up on skate boards, deaf all begging for hand-outs. You would get your kids shots after seeing those pitiful human beings.