INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

Chevyboy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taqLEjCVTdo

susan3

Chevy...you need to write a book....wooow...a lot in your life.....

Beachbum, teach the world to sing....yes, that would be beautiful. Gentle spirits for all. And when the world sings, I will dance,cause I can't sing on key to save my life...lo

Chevyboy

I think we all have stories like that, right? Some things we just like to forget.... but other things that happen to us, might help someone else get over their thoughts,....

dunesleeper

Before I read this page I want you all to know I am OK. I have a psychologist, a psychiatrist (ugh), and a social worker (through the cancer center). The thought came to me because mom would be with her brother. Yes, it has been difficult. I was really nice, asking my mother to please not fix food for me for while she was on this trip. I really really really wanted to get back on track with my eating -- by fixing food for myself the way I did when I lived at my house. Then she fixes all this food, leaving all these leftovers and announces that I'll have plenty of food to eat. I was so upset I was actually calm. I told her that I asked her not to do that. that I wanted to fix my own food. She says, but you won't fix your own food. I say, I did when I lived at my house. I add that I was really looking forward to getting back on track with my diet! I literally went over to her, lifted up her face (she was looking at the chili), looked into her eyes, and told her that. For a short while I even thought maybe she GOT IT. But then reality set in. She will never get it. I will, until the end of my life, have to kill off my personality -- and I can't do it. So, there will be no end to this butting of heads. I did start looking at apartments today though.

dunesleeper

Chevy, you are a hero! And Susan, well, LOL, I can't sing either. It's on my bucket list. I need to look into the cost. I don't need to try out for American Idol. I just want to be able to carry a tune.

JWoo, I apologize for any pain my remarks may have caused you. I had a boss who committed suicide, and my mother's sister-in-law (where mom is now) lost a daughter that way. No clue. It does leave a load of unresolved questioning. Please accept my apology -- and anyone else who I upset in here. The relationship with my mother is strained badly, and this has been a rough day, but I have every intention of making the next 2 weeks good ones. I'll even be able to go to the oncologist without my mommy. She refuses to let me go alone. Isn't that nuts? OK. Enough of that. I will also check out some apartments and prices. It will really hurt my mother's feelings, but I'm losing my mind!

sas-schatzi

Okey Nellie, We all have dark sides. Dunes I know you are on some dark threads. Save the dark things for them and let your sunny side shower us. 

Enough of suicide and it's extended talk.

Those wishing thoughts for Jwoo it's okay. This is a place of talking about life and how to keep it.

sas-schatzi

This is more how our brains work

If our brains feel like this, take your happy pills and become.....

Spookiesmom

ok nurses, what are these tests? I could find vit d, CMP, CNC. I know ca27-29 are tumor markers. What's Cea and 25-hydroxy?

Spookiesmom

Wow chevy, lucky he didn't shoot YOU!!!!

Jazzygirl

Hi folks- shifting gears here, I got across town today to drop off three bags of linens for the ladies at the shelter. I bagged up some sheets, towels and three comforters that needed to be passed on and learned there were three women getting ready to move out of the shelter into transitional housing. These things will help them and when I heard three women and knew I had three comforters (I had more of the other things), I thought "oh good, each one will have some bedding and towels to start out with." It felt good to pass them along to help women who have nothing and are starting over from nada.

I have a good friend trying to lure me to Durango next week for a little winter outing. We are trying to find a place to stay that works for both of us. The place she found is on the slopes is going to be too small and the one in town I like does not have a good shuttle to the mountain for the days I don't want to go up there. Well, maybe it will happen or maybe it won't!

Time for a walk before the light ends.

Teka

sas-schatzi

 

Jazzygirl

Teka- LOL, and some are bigger than others!

Rosevalley

Teka - too funny!

Sorry Sassy would love to be up-beat and happy. Well the scans showed progression. So back to adding more miserable crap, 4 options. I had to laugh, because the new onc (2nd opinion) insisted that you NEVER get cancer in your knees. My miserable pain in my left knee had to be arthritis or injury but it was NOT cancer. Case closed no further discussion. So I pleaded with the radiologist to scan past my knees even though it was ordered mid thigh for the PET scan. Bless his little heart he did! Guess what? Distal ends of the femurs 13.9 and 11.5. Bilateral proximal Tibia lesions 8.1 and 14. So that blows that theory. I get cancer in my knees. I have a large lesion on my femur that might cause a fracture. He wants me to see a orthopedist. There was uptake, sternum, ribs, both arms. Lung nodules stable and one axillary node was doing something. Lungs, liver and all no activity. Uptake in the same place in my back as always.. same old same old. Cancer sucks and causes endless aching. Good news my blood counts were great. White count elevated as always. So now pick a new poison... sigh. Anyway, that's all folks. Between this and seeing my Mom, it's been kind of a bummer of a week. I surely will miss all this sunshine. Florida has WONDERFUL SUNNY SKIES full of fluffy white clouds. Lovely. Thanks for listening.

Teka

That reminds me, love the new Kim Kardashian Super Bowl ad on-line.

Teka

Rose, sorry, but pleased that I brought a little fun your way! *Hugs*

Jazzygirl

Rose- I am sorry to hear about the progression. Cancer sucks big time.

I am glad you got a break to go to Florida for a bit and enjoy some sunshine. Did you go to the ocean?

Spookiesmom

Well, I dodged the bullet this year. Comparing DEXA from 2 years ago, the loss is getting worse, but not osteoporosis. YET. So I guess that's good

Jazzygirl

Spookie- what are you T-scores? I am between -1.5 to -1.8. Not osteoporosis yet either, but don't want to get to that point either.

I was glad that BSBC approved the Prolia shot and hope it helps. I will find out in December when I go for my next dexa scan again.

Rosevalley

Jazzygirl- YES! I went multiple times to the beaches. The Jacksonville beaches are stunning! White powdery sands, lots of shells, blue rolling water and huge skies full of clouds. I saw lots of birds in the wetland areas..too many shore birds to count! Lots of fun. I REALLY enjoy bird watching... can park it for hours with binocs and be a happy camper for the day! So many things to look at that are different from Oregon that it's very interesting. Plants are neat too, textures, shapes and designs. The whole environment is so different it's fun. I just couldn't walk as far as I would have liked to painful.

Spookiesmom

I don't know what that is, really. Something was 1.7, is now 2.something. She glossed over the pills, even less about the shots. Said I wasn't ready for any of it yet. Will have a D3 test soon, already at 5,000 daily. May increase that. Said the fact my wrist broke in 3 places shows increased risk for fractures. I said a 20 yo would have broken bones in that fall.and it was amazing more bones didn't break!

Unlike SOME people who were pole dancing in the alley and broke their hip!

Jazzygirl

Spookie- I take 5000 mg of Vit D daily too. They suggested I see how I am doing with my Vit D levels again, so I need to call my PCP now and go get that done. Be careful with how much you take, you can get Vit D toxicity. You don't pee the excess out like you do with Vit C and other things.

Rose- the trip to the ocean sounds beautiful. I grew up near the ocean (east coast) and miss the water. I often take vacations to place with water (Hawaii, Caribbean, etc.) Florida has some nice beaches!

sas-schatzi

Spookie the 25 hydroxyl is a part od the D test. CEA is a tumor marker.  <5 elevated in smokers.

Spookiesmom

Thanks Sas.

Jazzy, I started the D3 waaaaay before ca. A pain doc said it would help my fibro, and it does

dunesleeper

Sorry Rose. But that sure was nice of that tech to listen to you. I hope they can treat it, and I'm glad it's staying out of organs. Best wishes Rose.

susan3

what helps your fybromyalgia spooks? My has acted up big time on this new chemo.

Enerva

holy I stepped away for a few minutes to send a pm and you ladies wrote two pages lol

Slow down lol

Anyway I am off to bed I need to take a pill to help me sleep tonight I just finished a hat for a friend a different style lol like a bon maley style lol hope she likes it.

Here it is on me lol

Good night all

I am missing my pet

Anonymous

Hi all!

Try as I might, I just can't keep up with all the happenings going on here. I have been reading every day, but no time to post.

Sassy, am so very sorry for the latest development. Truly hoping it's a false positive or in its infancy stages. You have got to be one of the strongest people I know. Good thing you're smart enough to understand all this stuff and can advocate for yourself.

Cami, so sorry for the loss of your beloved brother. Please know I'm sending you love and hugs and you and your family will be in my prayers

Jeni, how horrible about your DBF's Mom, so very sorry for your loss. That must be so difficult for you all. Please tell DBF that our prayers are with you all.

Susan, it's good to see you on here again. That sweater you made is absolutely beautiful! Looks like a lot of time and love went into making it. Hoping the wearer appreciates all you've put into it.

Jazzy, how are you doing after your shot? Hoping that there were no SE's

Smaarty, glad that the DMV trip was that easy.

Enerva, aren't you talented! Beautiful sweater that you made! Also, love that hat!

Hi Patty, hoping you're feeling better soon.

Blondie, hope you're doing better. You are in my prayers too.

And our own Chevy was a life saver? Add that to her resume! Thanks for keeping this thread moving and so uplifting

Yay for you, Spookie!

Blessings, how are you doing? Hope you're doing well with all your caretaking.

L&H&P to everyone else I didn't mention directly... LMG, Wren, Dutchie, Hi1, Mommy, Rose,

Welcome to the newbies: Beachbum, Dunes

As for me, spent several weeks with a horrible cold/cough, drained the life out of me. There were days I literally slept up to and more than 18 hours. Had a funny experience late last week, took a full dose of meds Friday afternoon, slept like a rock till the phone woke me up at 6. I thought it was 6 AM earlier that day! So confused. Just turned around and went back to sleep. It's been difficult for me to get even one sentence written out, so I've just been posting on W&F because it's so easy to post and it lightens my spirit. My mom has officially been moved into hospice status, same facility (as least for now). Have had meetings about her the couple of weeks. Difficult to see her in person, she appears to be sound asleep, with mouth wide open, I have seen her with her eyes open probably not since 2014. But at least she's not screaming out in constant pain. Hospice nurse called me today to say Mom's eyes were open when she visited today and Mom tried to communicate with her. So sad to see my Mom wasting away; Dad can't bear the sight of her in this condition and he's really in a bad state himself - can't stand to see her and guilty that he isn't spending more time with her. I was really in a sad state last week what with my mom's condition and my DD turning 21 (hadn't heard from her in a time, with the way things are between us, didn't think she'd want to spend time with me). Went out last Wednesday to have a meeting for Mom and planned to spend the night at Dad's. Got a late text that DD was coming home that night (her bday was Thursday) so I made a mad dash home. So happy she wanted to spend time with me! She spent the night, I got to make her breakfast and we had a small celebration for her. Her friends took her out to dinner for her bday (she's the youngest in their group), then her sweet DBF took her to Santa Barbara for the weekend for wine tasting. Her life is so difficult and busy, she's almost totally responsible for everything for her, it's good to see her appreciated and out having some fun. Also, last week, had to go to court for DH; apparently "we" didn't file appropriate paper work and the nice judge gave DH an extension of a month to get all that stuff done. I've also been very busy everyday still job hunting, it's getting depressing that nothing is turning up. I know, if God wanted me to be working right now, the right job would just appear but it's just not happening no matter how many hours a day I job search and have submitted dozens of applications just this new year alone. Praying for a miracle that I find employment soon and can bring in a decent wage.

Anyhow, didn't mean for this to be a book. Don't know when I'll get to try to keep up with all of you. I'm grateful I get the notifications on my phone and realize there is life outside my home.

Anonymous

A friend posted this on FB:

Enerva

2nd time I am so sorry about your mom I saw mine in so much pain till finally she could not open her eyes. Please be strong for both of you. Dad and you will be in my thoughts. Sending you hugs.