INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

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  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited January 2015

    JWoo- my heart goes out to you. Suicide is a very painful thing for those left behind. You are so good to remind us to reach out to those in need who are in mental distress.

    Hugs sister and sending love your way and to all those suffering through this loss.

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited January 2015

    Page 703

    How does a car end up on it's nose?(Smarrty) The air froze around it?

    Beachie  Yay I thought we lost you permanently to YKYACPW. LOL. Did you know there's a hyperlink in YKYACPW's topic box and Warm & Fuzzies topic box to transport between the two threads? Transporter links in topic boxes was one of my more brilliant ideas LOL. It's like Star Trek

    Enerva you can sell these things and be rich! It's so beautiful. love the color.

    Blessings, LMG,Hopeful, Hugs

    Ah-hah caught up YAY. I need to go watch the storm news.

    Love you all.  Keep warm and safe.

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited January 2015


    Jwooo sorry sweetie. Extend our condolences to your DBF. Wish we could physically be there for you. Love & Hugs & Prayer's L&H&P's 

  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited January 2015

    Jwoo, So sorry to hear your news. Yes, take good care of you and DBF, it's going to be hard for quite a while. There's a group here that I think is nationwide called Survivors of Suicide. It's for family and friends who have had to deal with this event. Maybe it could help down the road. Hugs.

  • susan3
    susan3 Member Posts: 3,728
    edited January 2015

    Jwoo, so sorry to hear. In my prayers...hugs....

    Lance Armstrong , yes he did the blood doping and cheated , prob like most of them. Grueling sport. I ride, and my hubby is a great rider . Blood doping and every drug out there...I still couldn't do the Tour de France

    When my lungs took a beating with the last chemo...I was going to ask my doc if blood doping was an option. A little bit of oxygenation can go a long way.....lol.....but he doesn't exactly have my sense of humor so I kept my mouth shut....yes...I can, if I try real hard, I can shut my mouth...lol

    Stay warm and safe everyone out there on the east coast

  • dutchiris
    dutchiris Member Posts: 855
    edited January 2015

    Sas...Very dense breasts. I don't why it didn't show on the MRI but they did see some enlarged lymph nodes. Both breast however looked the same but I only had cancer in one.

    Ever heard of Leser-Trelat Sign? That was something the Derm talked about regarding my back.

  • dutchiris
    dutchiris Member Posts: 855
    edited January 2015

    I hope everyone is dealing with the snow alright. We are expecting freezing drizzle.

  • Holeinone
    Holeinone Member Posts: 2,478
    edited January 2015

    Good Evening all, it's late.

    Jwoo, heartbreaking, I am so sorry for your & DBF loss. Take care of each other, sending hugs to you.

    Susan & Envera, your work is very impressive. I want to do that when I grow up...lol.

    Dunesleeper, "cool beans". I have never heard of that expression before.

    Rose, sad for you & your mom.

    Chevy, sore tush? Go to Walmart, walk around, that will fix it.

    Blondie, are you lurking? Has anyone seen her on the other threads?

    Sweet Dreams...

  • dutchiris
    dutchiris Member Posts: 855
    edited January 2015

    My kids once asked me what "cool beans" meant. I said I guess it means they're not hot.

  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited January 2015

    Blondie just posted on the Can we have a forum for older people with BC?

  • Holeinone
    Holeinone Member Posts: 2,478
    edited January 2015

    Dutchie,

    Looking at your bio. Yesterday was your 2 year post dx date. Did you realize it? I do not like the anniversary word with Cancer, sounds too cheery.

    Is that a rash on your back?

  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited January 2015

    JWoo, sorry to hear this.

    Well they lowered the snow totals for what I'm gonna get. Now we may get nothing more than 14-22 inches! My family in Rhode Island will see more than I will!


     

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited January 2015

    Noooooooooooo! It's "Cool Beans, Chili Dog!" that means when someone says something, or does something "cool"... then you are supposed to say "Cool beans, Chili dog!"

    I thought it was funny too, when I heard it about 20 years ago!

    image

    JWOW.... geez I'm sorry... Unless you have seen this, or know someone who was left behind, you will never understand it when people decide to take their own life. Like you said, other people fight for each day... would give ANYthing to stay with their loved ones... But some, celebrities included, are selfish enough to want no more to do with 'their" life, like it is THEIRS to do with what they want. And they choose to hurt their loved ones in the worst possible way. Life is so precious! Even for those who are hurting, and injured... I feel like killing yourself, is just like killing all of your loved ones...

    Yes, I loved Robin Williams too, but when he took his own life... in my little mind, I lost all respect for him. He hurt EVERYone who loved him. Okay I know he wasn't thinking straight.... That could be said about every person that does this.. But that doesn't change the fact that they played God... and ONLY thought of themselves.

    Sorry.... this subject is as bad as Politics or Religion... Sorry JWow...

    And so where is Cammi? Come on kid... we need you back with us.... You are my Fauna.... Like Flora and Fauna... I start picking on these other gals when you aren't here!

    Was it on here, that one of us gals had her Credit/Debit card "read" while it was in her posession? I'll post this link anyway... because it happened to me like 4 years ago!

    http://www.dailyfinance.com/2011/02/08/rfid-skimme...

    http://blog.refactortactical.com/rfid-theft-and-ho...

    If this happens to you, that means someone has ALL of your information... Your name, SS#, and if it is not caught in time, can clean out your checking account before you even realize it! They make small charges first, to see if they go through, and if THAT works, then like with mine, they buy Airline tickets, and email your card # to their friend in Florida, where THEY charge MORE airline tickets.

    Mastercard called me one night and asked if my name was "Chevy"... (not really) and if it was press "1"... I thought WTH?? So that's how I found all this out! They cancelled my card, and that was only the beginning. You have to tell your local Police Dept. because someone is using your identity... You have to notify l the Credit Reporting Agencies, SS department, to put a "watch" on your SS #, go to your bank, and secure all of your information, and keep that on file, and THEN notify the IRS, because they send you another "code" every year to send in with your W2 forms!

    THEN, about 3 months later CapitalOne called to ask if I was trying to open a new charge-line! The same people who stole my identity were trying to establish another line of credit with my name... and yes, they used my SS# also. So now I carry the Police report I filed, in case some felon with my info. gets stopped.

    All you have to do is either not carry your card/cards, or put them in one of those aluminum cases, in your purse... OR make your own case, with aluminum foil around some sort of pouch... I just don't carry mine, unless I HAVE to. Just keep a little extra cash at home.... and when you go out stick some in your purse. We never pay for gas with my Debit card... Just be careful....


  • dunesleeper
    dunesleeper Member Posts: 2,060
    edited January 2015

    Good suggestions Chevy. I guess this will make you mad, but I sure was considering ending it all this morning. I dropped my mother off at the airport, and I figured she could be notified by the police, and she would be with her brother. It was just a lot of thought because I don't have a gun. I don't buy one because I know I get like this. I'm going to go back to sleep, and maybe look for some small apartments. Living with my mother is definitely worse than the alternative. I hope that doesn't make you mad at me, because I like you. But this is part of who I am, and if people can't take you for what your are, I guess you are better off without them.

    I'm very sorry for your loss JWoo.


  • dutchiris
    dutchiris Member Posts: 855
    edited January 2015

    Holeinone...I did not realize it. I guess it was an "anniversary".

    The sign of Leser-Trélat, a rare finding, is the sudden eruption of multiple seborrheic keratoses caused by a malignancy. It was not certain that this was present but I did have lot of them.

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited January 2015

    Dunes.... Just remember we are always here kid... I know things seem so bad for you right now... Is there anyway you can get to a "safe place" You feel like you have no-one, that no-one even cares... And that you would be better off just leaving it all behind....

    But I would never be "mad" at you! I just wish you could find just SOMEthing to make you feel like life IS worth living... Can you reach out to "someone" to help you through this?

    I remember one time... After I had left my Husband for about the 3rd time... I called him from my gal-friends house, because our Daughter's had told me he was going to kill himself... I talked to him... trying to calm him down.... I even called the Police, to tell them about him threatening suicide... They wouldn't do anything, until something happened!... Or until someone else was threatened. It all worked out... and Thank God it did.... but feeling like you are at the end of your rope, is just hard on all of us, and your family that care about you....

    We will do ANYthing to help you.... Can you get a hold of your Doc? Tell him what is going on? One time, during this whole mess, I was soooooooooooo down, I just thought I couldn't DO this anymore.... I didn't want to go on like this........ I went to this church... and asked to talk to someone.... And she sat down, and I just fell in her lap and sobbed. When we are at our lowest point, all we can do is start up again..... She was just there to listen...

    We need to find the strength to live another day.... to feel like someone really does care... and then just put one foot in front of the other, and take that first step.... You just need someone you feel like "cares" for you....

    And we do..... I get tears in my eyes thinking of you.... and I don't even "know" you.... We love you.... xoxoxo

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited January 2015

    You know one time, when I was working at Coors, I was the Bartender this one day.... And this guy came wobbling up to the bar, and wanted a beer! We could give employees a beer, after their shift... That was the policy at that time....

    But he looked obviously like he had left his job, and started drinking, or else he came to work drunk... So I just kindly said "I'm sorry, but I'd rather not serve you sir, because I think you have already had enough".... So he turned around an walked away, bumping into tables, and the door-way, and weaving down the hall...

    I called Security, and told them, this Employee had just left, and could they watch him, going down to the front entrance, because I thought he would fall over.... So they stopped him out front...

    I didn't hear anything else until a couple days later... They wouldn't let him drive home... Called his Supervisor... And he was found dead, because he lost his job. The Security guy came up to our break room and told us all this... I just started crying! I just felt like it was MY fault! I was so sorry I didn't let him drink! That I called Security! It was MY fault! Didn't matter what MY Supervisor said... All I knew was, it was my fault.

    I didn't even know the guy... MY supervisor helped ME get over this.... I had forgotten all of this.... until now... If I can give just one person, a reason to live, or if I can make a difference in someone's life... then that's all that matters.

  • Rosevalley
    Rosevalley Member Posts: 3,061
    edited January 2015

    Chevy your posts make me laugh, such silly funny remarks and observations and beneath the banter, lots of soul and love. You did nothing to cause that man's suicide. You just happened to see him along the way. I hope all those thinking of suicide, will wait a day and talk to some one about their thoughts. Mental pain can be just as horrible as physical. JWoo so sorry for your DBF loss.

    For all those frozen and snowed in, stay warm! This too shall end. Spring will come.

  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited January 2015

    Chevy- Cami's brother passed away last week so I expect she is in the throes of family services this week. I am on one other thread with her so if I see her there, I will let you know you are thinking of her.

    I hear from Blondie too as she is one of my "bco besties" and she is doing okay too, but said her other ankle is feeling sprained, perhaps from all the weight on it due to the fracture and split on the other.

    Dune- I am sorry that things are so hard for you with your mother. I understand that too, as I never had an easy relationship with my mother, and she never helped me with anything difficult I went through in my life. I was always expected to just help her and that was the way it was until the end. I was always in the parent with her my whole life (sigh).

    I hope you can find another place to live for awhile. Any other family or friends in the area who might be able to open up their home to you for awhile?

    I woke up in the night with body aches from the Prolia shot, but nothing I could not take care of with some aspirin. I went back to bed and slept in until almost 8 a.m. I am going to plan to be home for awhile this morning, then get out and about this afternoon.

    I see that the Boston area is getting the brunt of the storm and hear from friends in Maine it is just getting started up there. Be safe my friends back east.

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited January 2015

    Yes, thanks Rosie, but you just can't help thinking "but what "if"......" Maybe by talking about things that "hurt" we can somehow help someone else over a road-block they have in trying to go on... Just one more day.... and then another... and maybe something will "happen" to turn a person's life around...I hope so.

    Then there was the time I came home from work, and found my Dad sitting on the sofa, with a shot-gun across his lap.... crying. I was just floored! I didn't know what to do! I was just 18... I think I just went to my bedroom and hid.... I remember calling Mom home from work.

    He left, and Mom came home, went to get his Step Mom, and they found him at his girll-friends house, telling HER good-bye. It's a wonder I am as normal as I appear to be.... Ha!

    I thought Mom would shoot him herself! But everyone knew about his "other" friends... They stayed together.... for over 62 years!

    After Mom died, I finally learned how to "love" my Dad.... All that crap I grew up with... All the pain I saw my Mom go through... I just learned to finally love my Dad, for who he wanted to be... I finally became part of his life... He cared for me, but I didn't know it until he lost Mom... And then all was forgiven... couldn't forget it, but you learn to forgive by accepting someone for the way they are.

    Okay, I'm tired of being serious.... WTH is Cammi? Or Spookie? I need some diversion over here.... xoxo

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited January 2015

    Oh Hey Jazzy! We were posting at the same time! Yeah, Cammi is having a rough time... I just want to think she will find us, and maybe smile again!

    I KNOW! I read that about Blondie! WTH??? She needs to stay in bed, and be waited on, and served drinks, and watch movies...

  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited January 2015
  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited January 2015

    Jwooso sorry to hear this. Hugs, xx

    Have MO appt later. Will discuss latest DEXA.

    Saw a purse in a catalogue that has the RIFD blocker in it. Thinking of ordering it, that's what chevy rambles about.


  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited January 2015

    Spookie, you can make your own, by cutting out 2 pieces of cardboard, then wrapping foil around it.... then putting that fancy Duck Tape over it! Yes....that's what I was rambling about....

    It was such a PITA getting the whole mess cleared up! Went on for months! When your Identity is stolen, you forget who you ARE!

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited January 2015

    And then you have to become someone ELSE! Scared

  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited January 2015

    Yeah, a pole dancer in the back alley?

    Need a new purse anyway only $20.

  • Beachbum1023
    Beachbum1023 Member Posts: 1,417
    edited January 2015

    Chevy - we never know what anyone has in their own mind, only they do. While he chose his path, you may have saved many other people from a fatal accident had he been behind the wheel driving.

    I have lost quite a few people in my day, some suicide. I mourn the loss, more for me than for them. Their own private hell has ended, and I cherish the days I had them in my life. I am a better person today having loved and lost them, than to never have had them in my life.

    I hope you realize that you may have saved lives, we never truly know that do we? Peace my friend.

  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited January 2015

    Beachbum- I like your post. I never venture to know how people feel inside, physically or emotionally, anymore than I could expect them to understand how it felt to go through BC treatment physically or emotionally.

    Compassion is the key, as everyone is dealing with something.

  • Beachbum1023
    Beachbum1023 Member Posts: 1,417
    edited January 2015

    Hey Jazzygirl, if only we could spread that message, world wide. Perhaps that is why so many turn to evil, drugs, meds etc. to get by. Had someone showed true compassion towards them, they may be a better and happier person today.

    I'd like to teach the world to sing, remember that from years gone by? Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate it.

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited January 2015

    Hi Beachbum! Yes, thank you.... I know what you mean.... I DID help save someone's life one time.... I was trying to find a place to park at work, in the parking lot... Sat there waiting for this little TRUCK to just move! He was in the middle of the lane... Then I saw a girl jump out of the passenger seat.... and run between the cars!!! I thought WTH???

    He got out after her, with a GUN! Damn! I saw this shiny pistol in his hand! He picked her up, and threw her into the back of his truck!

    That's when I shoved my car into reverse.... my heart POUNDING! I SPUN around, and drove right to the front of the Brewery....!! A security guy was sitting there in his truck.... I was SCREAMING...."Someone is up there in a white truck with a gun, running after this girl! !!! " I was just panicked! I got out of my car, while he went to find them, and I ran inside, listening to the radios, that my Supervisor was listening to, with Security.... This guy, drove down the service road, with another Security in BACK of him, and he ran into a hill, and then he killed himself!!! Can you just imagine??

    The gal had been shot in the hip.... Security guy #1 got her in his truck.... I then went back up there, parked my car.... saw her bleeding in the truck, but she was okay....just bleeding.... He was waiting for an ambulce....

    I went back in, still shaking.... I was questioned so many times.... Finally after about a month, and thanked me for saving her life! They had been going through a divorce.... He took her to work.... and just lost it....

    She worked in our department.... and I was just a new gal.... but I felt so bad for HIM, but at least she escaped.....

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