Anxiety getting worse not better

If you haven't tried it yet, you could also ask your therapist about EMDR therapy. It really helped me with a different traumatic event (other than cancer) and helped me get over some specific triggers.

Huge bear hugs to Rachel and PerAngusta. I have anxiety too - diagnosed as "cancer caused anxiety" - gotta love it. I've always been a worrier, but I could keep it in check. With my C diagnosis (almost to my one year anniversary, which is increasing my anxiety for some reason), anxiety shot through the roof. I found myself crumpled on the floor in a bookstore for a good half an hour, unable to move during holiday shopping last year. I think that the initial fear of the unknown re BMX and chemo was the worst. Now, a year later, it should be better, right? I do have some good days. But, its due to pharma. I'm on Citalopram and Ativan. I don't leave home without my Ativan since my panic attacks are debilitating when they occur. I've even had to take Ativan to get myself out of the car to go into yoga. That's ridiculous. But true. A friend described Citalopram as something that doesn't make you happy, but acts as a net to catch you from falling into the anxiety pit. I completely understand the fear of recurrence. I'm in a place pf decision making for my post chemo treatments, and I went from advocating less toxic treatments early on to now worrying that I haven't done enough. My MO just yesterday decided to switch my Tamoxifen to OS and an AI, given new trial results. I was advocating for this change. I had wanted it. So, you'd think that I'd feel relieved. Nope. I'm scared and worried and wondering if I'm afoul of the "be careful of what you wish for" adage. I try to put on a face of health, happiness and confidence for my 9 yr. old daughter. I'm her entire world and only parent. But she sees me climbing into bed at 6pm (unable to sleep but exhausted and too tired tor read to her or play a game). I cry for the childhood memories that she is accumulating through this stupid C. But, I will say that I tried to go off the Citalopram and it was then that I realized how much it was helping me and needed. There should not be any mental health shame here. BC causes anxiety. I've been told to live in the moment, to eliminate the worries. That's a hard thing to do, but yoga helps me to try. I recommend Yin yoga or a restorative class (more concentration on the meditation/stretching/healing aspect instead of a flow workout). Even if I'm having a bad anxiety day, and can barely drag myself there, I never regret having gone to yoga. I leave in better spirits.

My wife and are newbies and we are at the beginning of this lousy journey. I can only imagine how you feel.

concernedhubby, Can you say more about the PTSD drugs and why you are terrified about taking them? Thanks

Hi All!  Happy New Year ....I hope!!!  Just joined this group today and was so happy to find this topic!!!  I've suffered from depression and anxiety for many years and take medications which help.  Being diagnosed last August has certainly not  been beneficial to my emotional state.   I was almost beginning to believe my idiotic husband who thinks I am just being overly neurotic.  Thank you all for being so honest about your feelings and the different ways that you cope.  It actually makes me feel relieved...(maybe not calm!!)  but certainly not crazy!!

Chemicalworld, its like your doctor was trying to shame you for asking for help, and I don't like that. It irritates me how doctors often minimize the anxiety that womens' health issues can create and that all we women need to do is keep that friggin' positive attitude and everything will be okay, honey. Really, it pisses me off. We need to be more direct and assertive and say, hey, this is really bothering me. Stop allowing the doctors to make us feel like we are drug addicts because we want relief from anxiety so we can go about living our lives more fully. We are not little girls. We are women.

I found my onc wasn't as supportive with helping out with anxiety issues so I dealt more with my gp. It was actually his nurse practitioner that worked with me to find a solution. I remember having such difficulties at first trying different meds she prescribed. I finally called the doctor's office and asked the receptionist could the np please call me, even tho that's not really something that she did. I begged the np to please not give up on me in trying to find something to help me with what I was dealing with. I said, please know that I'm being sincere when I say these anti depressants are not working for me. Please work with me to find something that can help. I was so sincere, and she is such a gem, and that's when we finally figured out I needed meds for anxiety and not depression and I got the prescription for buspar from her.

If you feel the need for medicine to help with anxiety or depression, please follow your instincts and keep after your doctor to get what you need.

Rachel, I am sorry you are afraid. Fear is so debilitating and sucks. I'm trying to figure out to overcome my own.

I went to a spiritual bookshop and went rock crazy. They had stones in all colors and makes, each promising different health benefits. I actually felt a sinus clearing when holding one. For years my sister has sworn by the power of rocks and I've pooh-poohed her, deciding it was a bunch of hooey. I have no idea if it does anything, but I figure I need all the help I can get right now. So I now have rocks to meditate with. I'm in the cancer phase of looking for answers/help in new places. The yoga retreats that used to sound cultish now sound like a possible answer. I'm grasping at anything these days. I want to drink the coolaid to make this all go away.

I remember this mandatory women's health survey that the U of Mich gave all women as incoming freshman and again senior yr. one of the questions was "does the tv have special messages just for you." My dog is named Snowflake. The other day, some talking head on tv said "Snowflake" during a weather report. My dog suspiciously looked at the tv and hasn't trusted it since. I've been laughing reminded of that old survey question. As crazy as I feel, I haven't gotten to the point where the tv is having special messages just for me - only my dog.

Denise, I'm sorry that your mom received a diagnoses of bc, but am glad that she found relief for her anxiety.

I'm still in the active treatment phase and am already worrying about recurrence.

In addition to a therapist and anti-anxiety meds (btw I just weaned off Celexa because my MO says it interferes or interacts with AI hormone meds?)....alternative methods can be helpful.

My sister was DXd right after me.  She has always been an anxious person and it often channeled into anger too.  She started taking meditation classes and has found it helped.

No matter what religion you are in meditation has been shown to help reduce stress, lower BP and have many positive health benefits.  This is also true of acupuncture.  My Rad Doc actually provides 6 free acupuncture sessions free at her clinic!  She really believes in it.

I brought a natural white crystal with me to the chemo clinic, I cleansed it in a crystal singing bowl, asked it to protect me at the clinic, put it in little brocade drawstring pouch.  Whether it's a placebo effect or not, it helped.  It helped because I felt at least a little bit more empowered or have some control over my life.

I think, in my case at least, one of the greatest drivers of anxiety is the loss of control.  Even the fittest, healthiest people can get cancer.  Even if we do everything the Doctors ask us to do it can come out of remission.  This helpless feeling when facing a disease that is deadly is overwhelming at times.

It messes with our minds and hearts, big time.

So anything to help calm the mind, relieve stress (such as yoga), practicing meditation, aromatherapy, acupuncture, crystal therapy is good IMO. 

I wear a wrist mala, I use it to count my meditations and also to remind me to stay calm and be patient.  It is like a rosary for your wrist, it doesn't matter what religion you practice, as meditative prayer is meditative prayer.  IMO no one has to be happy about this, or think that having cancer in their lives brings positives (it can, sometimes it does) but we have to validate the fear as legitimate and then move back to a place of calmness.  When I can be happy and joyful, when I have that spirit in me I let it out, when I enter a fear state my only job is to get back to a place of calmness.  IMHO when facing extreme fear and anxiety it's too much to 'just be positive and happy or just smile' as many will admonish us.  No, our only real job in overcoming fear is to be calm.  Use your energy to get  back to the middle place of calmness.

I hope this makes sense and helps.

Namaste.

Marilyn - Freeway driving is nerve wracking even without BC!! Merging from the left and exits from both sides. ARGH!!! Hang in there and take the side streets, if possible.

Doggiebytes - my sister gave me a handful of healing rocks, each with a note telling what it is supposed to do. I am not usually into the spiritual thing, but I swear that I do feel the energy of some of them sometimes. I hold them one at a time to see which resonate with me different days- it changes. I'm not sure that I'm a believer, but feel like it can't hurt and I can use all the help that I can get. Like you, I've found that meditation helps. I started restorative yoga with treatment/surgery recovery to help with stiff joints, but the meditation aspect and mental benefits have been the best unexpected thing. It has helped me to stay in the moment, appreciate the moment, and take a day at a time. My sister also gave me a mandala coloring book for meditation. I love it.

The anti-depressants made me depressed! Right now, we are trying a super-low dose of trazadone to help with the anxiety and insomnia. Seems to be working fairly well so far.

Oh great...let's add to our anxiety with Pinktober!