IMPLANTS REMOVED: YAY!

I appreciate this discussion and thankyou to Bettyboops and others who have shared. Had I not needed radiation I probably would have opted for reconstruction during the mastectomy surgery. My BS said no reconstruction. However, it has been very strongly encouraged by many (medical and family, friends) after I am done with chemo and radiation.

Yet something inside of me is saying, no, no.

The push from others to have reconstruction has been creating conflicting feelings within me. On top of struggling to accept my new body image.

After reading this thread I realize that in a way I was fortunate that due to other medical needs we pushed the pause button on reconstruction.

At this point in time I am 99% sure that I will not have reconstruction in the near term and 95% sure I won't down the road.

My God Mother is a 30 plus year survivor. She had reconstruction and had a failed implant (it leaked). She had a second implant and it created pain and discomfort. She finally said take it out, I'm done.

DoggieBytes:  I think everyone wants you to go back to "normal", so they can treat you as if nothing has happened. They no longer have to worry about your CANCER!!  Everything is ok now.   That's what they want, but it is not reality. And that is their problem.  You just take care of YOURSELF.   Finishing one course of treatment doesn't magically whisk all those emotions away.   If only !!    We are here for you to vent and rant!!  ((hugs))

That is really interesting, M.    I wonder why,,,,  makes me wonder if it gets pushed more here in the States.

GrammyR, that may be the big decider! We don't have to have it all done at once. My Mother had BC in '94 and never considered recon. I was given the option, by my surgeon and he also said I should remember, the door was not closed, if I decided to do it later.

It must be difficult, if you have to make the decision to do it immediately, or to forgo. That's a lot of pressure at a vulnerable time.

We have a free medical system, through the public Hospital system here, but we also have Private Insurance, where we can choose our own surgeon and specialists, but there is usually a gap payment, depending on who you choose, when you go private.

I have read many stories here on BCO, of women saying they were really coerced into recon by Doctors and others, who have decided like BettyBoops and the others here, to deconstruct later.

Then there are the ones like Glennie, who had skin left for the possibility of recon, which was really not discussed. The decision is then left on whether to have a revision to make the area flat, as it should have been in the beginning. I was one who had a "Dog Ear" left, I don't blame my surgeon for that, it is something that can happen and many women aren't too bothered by them. I was irritated beyond words, by mine and opted to have it removed due to the zinging and zapping of cut nerves I could feel 24/7. Best decision I ever made!

In a perfect world, everyone would be given every option, time to decide and the power to do things in their own time without any interference or pressure. No, delete that, in a perfect world, none of us would have to make any decisions on this, because BC, simply wouldn't exist!

Grammy, how did your being thin affect the result badly? I ask, because I have wondered about that. In most post-MX pictures I have seen there is enough tissue on the chest so that you do not see the ribs. On me, it looks quite different, with the ribs very prominent. The pec muscle on me can't be very thick

Momine- I was 5'6" and 108 lbs with all my ribs showing ( all my life up until then) There was no spare tissue so even at 250mls (Saline) I felt the stretch terribly.I had nerve pain along tbe incision line area which goes up under my arm. Sadly I have gained quite a bit since then ( 138lbs) so very uneven now and still find it so uncomfortable w/all bras and have these rolls of excess tissue where they removed nodes under my arm. I should not complain though as I am blessed to be here still .

Aug242007, as totally distasteful as that sounds, I am sure you're right! Greed has to play a big part in it, because there is rarely enough information given to women, when this recon surgery, is being pushed on them. We hear about it here all the time, so many women saying, if I'd known then, what I know now, I would never have agreed to this.

What an experience for you, I have a name for those guys, they are "Dicktors", not Doctors!

I totally agree, Glennie. I am so happy when I hear of a recon that goes well and the woman is happy with her results, I just object to women being coerced into a surgery they don't want.

Great post Bettyboops! I too agree that there could be a turning of the tide and women will say no and they won't be coerced by these people who are really only thinking of monetary gain and not the best interests, of women. We know, that living without one, or both breasts, is very possible and for those of us who have made that decision, either to begin with, or after deconstruction, like you, are comfortable, with our choice.

I don't mean to hijack this thread, but this is a question for non reconstructed women.

I have started toying with the possibility of a chest tattoo again. I wanted to do it when I first had my UMx, but got conflicting advice on the length of time it had to be before it was safe to Tattoo the skin after surgery. I am 2 years out now and have been experimenting with temporary Tattoos from a Tattoo artist here in Australia.

I have a section of my scar which opened up when I got an infection, early on, it resembles the "Blip" on a heart monitor, but the rest f the scar which is very long and goes from slightly over my remaining breast, across my chest and curves around my back because I had a revision surgery to remove a "Dog Ear". It is all very fine and barely noticeable now. My only concern is about the possibility of LE. I am wondering though, so many who have reconstruction have nipple Tattoos done, does anyone have any experience with the stats on LE after any kind of chest Tattooing?

I love the idea of a large gorgeous tattoo but when I discussed it with my LE therapist she said that's a terrible idea, for me. I am dealing w truncal LE in addition to right arm LE which puts me at risk for worsening my LE. I was soooooo disappointed but accept that she is right. Instead I have to live vicariously through all you ladies who can and do get tattoos to cover their scars.

Amy

See, girls, this is what gets me swinging the other way again. I would never forgive myself if I got LE from doing this. I may just continue with the temporary tattoos for a while. They really do work very well.

This is a pic I posted on another post to show how a temp, even though it is not something I would actually have tattooed on me and I know the color is too strong, but the way it covers the "Blip" in my scar at the front, and the size, is exactly what I am aiming for.

Ariom, where do you find these "tats" I could totally dig temporary ones...in fact they seem almost ideal as I tend to change my mind quite often so I could also change my tattoo!

Thank you for the photo

Amy

thank you for posting your experience. I had a BMX with immediate reconstruction using expanders, then implants. For me it was awful.

I know of other women who love having implants so I know it is not the experience everyone has. But, I was, and still am a bit annoyed that the difficulties many of us have with implants weren't presented to me then. I also regret that I was never told about the DIEP surgery at all, just the Tram where they remove your abdominal muscle and most women don't recover their abdominal strength afterwards. I just ruled that out because if I don't keep my core in good shape I have awful back problems.

My story also is much like yours where honestly I was focused on my diagnosis and treatment plans, when I went out of state for a second opinion I didn't even ask to include a PS, which I regret.

I asked my PS to create smaller Breast from implants because I didn't want to look like I had a boob job with big, high set Breast. I was 53 and figured if they were smaller than my natural C+ Breast than they might not look as fake and I wanted to have the benefit of going braless. Anyway they placed expanders in and 10 days later I was so sick and my left side was bright pink/red. By day two the area of red had doubled, I had high fevers and felt like I had been hit by a bus.

I spent six days in the hospital on some of the strongest IV antibiotics and just got sicker. I really wasn't even able to make decisions but I kept urging the surgeons to just remove the expander and culture it because it was clear to me I was on the wrong antibiotic. They were reluctant to draw fluid from around the expander for fear they would puncture it. I convinced them I could care less I wanted to figure out what bacteria it was. They cultured it and on the fifth day it finally grew and revealed what the infection was. I can't remember the name but the hospital and surgeons were freaked out because it was a very rare bacteria so they rushed me into surgery to remove the implant.

Everything was then done in such haste and they weren't definite that they would remove it but they needed to open me up and clean it out. Well suffice to say it was horribly infected and they did remove it and sadly, because I didn't have a chance to talk through my options, they left the right expander in.

The also figured out that Bactrim an old, oral antibiotic was the best treatment so I went home the next day. Because I was supposed to start chemo in two weeks, which was delayed now by a month they told me I wouldn't be able to put an expander back in until I was through chemo. I was so sad they didn't just remove both. I felt their approach didn't give me the option of deciding I may no longer want implants.

Anyway they replaced the expander five months later after I completed chemo. On my third full I got a red Breast again. This time they immediately out me in antibiotics but again did not culture it because they were worried they would compromise the expander. I was on antibiotics for four months, would sligtgly improve and then it would come back. I was sure that my body was rejecting the expander on that side. They told me I should have the left removed let it heal and start again. I thought implants were so much softer than the expander so told them just take them both out, culture the infection and clean out the left and put implants in. If I rehected those too I would just leave it alone and be flat. They did and I didn't reject the implants but for the next year and a half I was in constant pain. I hated having my pec muscle stretched over my implants, and my implants were very small. The left was completely different than the right because of all the scar tissue. It was awful.

On these boards I found out about DIEP. It was a big surgery but my major concern about my ab muscle was answered because they don't take it. I researched it well once I found out there was this option. I went to NOLA, one of the top places for this surgery and had those awful implants out five weeks ago and two flaps from my abdomen put in to create Breast. It is a BIG surgery and I awoke in a lot of discomfort as you can imagine, but I immediately told my husband, even with all the internal stitching they did on the flaps that my chest felt wonderful. That iron bra, rocks in my chest feeling was entirely gone. I kept them small again but they are soft, and sag (Zoe's I so wanted some sag) and to my touch they feel just like a Breast. I am starting to recover and they have healed and feel even better.

There are many paths to wholeness and I love hearing others tell theirs. I do think implants and DIEP and having nothing at all should be clearly presented and we understand all the options, the risk and the benefits.

Thanks for sharing your story. I told my surgeon we had one try on the DIEP if I didn't take them, I had complications I was done and just wanted them both out. I still feel that way and for now and mostly so happy to be rid of the implants.

Take care,

Julieho

tattoos? Isn't that more needles!? Nooooooo, no more needles. ;-)

I do like the temporary tattoos, that's something I could roll with.

For the needle averse (and lymphedema concerns here too) another option..

I've had henna tattoos done, semi-permanent and I had a lot of fun changing up designs.