Starting Chemo in December 2013

Kim - I totally agree with you. My husband and I wouldn't have made it this far without our faith.

Lisa- I'm so sorry. My husband and I separate in 2003 (before kiddos). I went to counseling, he went to counseling, then we both saw a marriage counselor. We stayed together. I feel like going through that made us stronger and is probably the reason we are handling this BC so well. We have ups and downs, don't get me wrong, but so far so good. Of course, I'm still at the physical healing stage. Have 3 more surgeries so we and kind of still in "fight" mode. We haven't really begun the emotional healing yet.

Jbokland - how are you feeling?

Michelle- GREAT NEWS!! So happy for you.

Holli :0)

I hope you don't feel like I'm abandoning any of you. You can contact me anytime on Facebook. I just find that I worry about a recurrence way to much. Especially with this being TNBC and that this was a recurrence after having a double mastectomy. I was just going to stop posting, but didn't want any of you to worry. I consider all of you friends and can't imagine how I would have gotten through this without you. I probably won't be able to stay away anyway. I'm just going to try it for a couple weeks and see if I worry less.

thanks for asking! I am really doing pretty well. I hope to get at least on drain yanked on Wednesday; the other is still draining around 50. Pain is minimal, I have not even had an Advil today...put I did enjoy a wine tonight! I've had two days out for light errands. I'm looking forward to a haircut tomorrow because my newly wavy hair has me nuts

Lisa, am thinking about you! Staying busy with stuff that makes life full seems to be the key for me to keep my mind off the worries. Although I know when the next check comes in April I'll probably be a wreck. I will be thinking about you.

Kathy, sorry to see you go but I understand. I had a hard time in October when there was pink everywhere, too much of a reminder. They had the pink breast cancer ribbons stuck to the floor at the mall and I stepped on everyone of them that I past. Childish....maybe, but did it make me feel better...YES! Fair winds and following seas my friend. We hope to see you back.

Holli, I hope your follow up appt went well. Are you feeling better?

Lisa, praying that you have benign results and that you don't have to wait to long to get them!

I have my 15 mo w/MO follow up next week...

Have a good week-end, ladies!

Ornge_mama, YAY! Deported! I love not having my port. I've had one herceptin with my arm vein so far and it was alright. Only three more to go!!!!

Lisa, Yum!!! Now I want cookies!

Hi Ladies! Jodi, your middle daughter is a carbon copy of you! all 3 are simply beautiful! Good job momma!

I have recovered nicely from my last surgery....went back to Mayo last week and got the air removed from the expander and had it replaced with 300cc of saline. I will go back on Jan 7th for a little more and will have the implants put in around April or so.

As most of you know from Facebook, i had quite a scare a little over a week ago. My PET scan came back with an area of concern under my left armpit where I had all the lymph nodes removed. This led to an ultrasound and then a biopsy. My fear was at an all-time high during these days. I did my best to keep busy and try not to worry about it, but deep down i was scared to death. I sobbed like a baby at work when I got the call on Friday saying there was no evidence of cancer. Lisa, I will be tucked right there in your pocket and know exactly what you are going through....everything will be ok.

Hard to believe Christmas is right around the corner, thank God we are all in such better places this year vs. last. Ugh.....gives me chills just thinking back to a year ago.

I miss all your posts and miss all of you!

Michelle

Hang in there Lisa; we're in your pockets!

Jodi, that picture is amazing! What beautiful babies you have! I LOVE the boots!!!

yeah, Michelle, such better places right now. Today was my oldest GS's 6th birthday. I was so excited to go to his party this year. Last yr, I was in the middle of my NADIR with chemo and decided it best to stay home and not go to Mr Gattis, for fear of getting sick.

oranje, good for you, for going to yoga!

My friends' (that took me to chemo) daughter has been DX'd with MDS...pre-leukemia. She had Leukemia exactly 16 yrs ago. She has since married, had two babies through in-vitro and is only 41 yrs old. I'm so praying that she makes it through this. She is in the hospital now with an infection from the IV...I hope they can get it under control soon, so she can receive TX. She has had blood transfusions last week. If any of you are inclined, please include her (Lisa) in your prayers. Thanks!

((HUGS))

I hope you all have a wonderful week~

biopsy done. They call it a cyst as it's not palpable, a "lump" is palpable. I didn't know this distinction before. Anyone else know this? it reduced down almost totally and she could barely see it after taking the samples, which is a good sign...except that's how my cancer "lump" acted also and was not expected to come back malig. I'm feeling good and "positive" right now (God how I hate that word) . But won't have path report until wed at the earliest but more likely thurs. How I hate waiting. Because of my history they will test every lump bump and cyst I guess. A few more days of agonizing waiting. ITS GONNA BE BENIGN!

Jodi, gorgeous girls!

Nice to hear from you Michele, and also keepthefaith

Oranje, I have had trouble staying asleep for years. I'm not on tamox. I take melatonin and also 1/2 of a 5mg of ambien. Helps to fall asleep but not to stay asleep. I think that's a natural sleep rhythm pattern at that time. That's a common prob with women at menopause, do you still get your period when on tamoxifen? And how many hoursI of sleep are you getting by 3 or 4? There's a slow release ambien but that's a much bigger dose. let usknow what your pc say

oranje, yes, insomnia here, too. Seems like shortly after TX ended, I would have insomnia for a couple nights in a row, then sleep pretty good for a night or two and then repeat. I'm not sleeping that well now, but not taking anything for it. I have an appt with MO tomorrow. May ask her about it...

Robin, I hope all is well! Gheez. I think your BS is just being cautious. My RO is that way and sometimes he freaks me out. The BS is probably pretty knowledgeable and if she was too concerned, would send you in for more testing right away, instead of waiting. Sometimes I wonder if there is really something to be concerned about or if they are just covering their own butts. Try not to stress too much.

Lisa, hang in there:).

Good morning ladies -

Jodi - Your babies are beautiful, just like you!

Oranje - I too have sleep problems. I can fall asleep, but wake up all night long. I take melatonin, but it doesn't help. I will continue to take it though, as my integrative health doc says that it is a tumor blocker. I also tend to have the majority of my hot flashes at night which wakes me up.

Holli - Happy Anniversary. May this coming year be filled with good health, love and abundant blessings.

Michelle - So glad to hear that your results came back.....no cancer! My mind goes back to last December a lot right now. Trying not to let it steal my Joy this year.

Lisa - Praying for clean path report.

Keepthefaith - I will be praying for your friend's daughter, Lisa.

Robin - I agree with Keepthefaith, I think that if your docs were really concerned, they would have you in for more testing immediately.

Have a great day ladies,

Kim

Yay Lisa!!!

Happy anniversary, Holli!  loved seeing all your pics.  We almost share an anniversary - we will have been married 14 years as of Dec. 29th - we got married in Texas too!

My doc wants me to try melatonin first . . . we'll see if it makes a difference.  She also said to count backward in increments of 7.  Sounds complicated!!!  Kim, glad to hear that melatonin may be a tumor blocker .

thanks sista's! Getting back to my old self...good or bad I don't know but feeling more normal since getting the good news! I literally feel lighter!

Kim, how much melatonin did your integrative doc say to take? Mine said 6-10mg but then mo said she's not sure if it does anything and on dr oz few wks ago he said take the smallest amt (3mg) and take 90 min before bedtime as it takes that long to "work". Dr oz says some wrong things though and he was not talking at all about cancer related to melatonin. Melatonin is supposed to help to fall asleep but not stay asleep

The counting backwards I think is to distract your mind from other thoughts but that would stress me out I think. It's like counting sheep. My trouble is also staying asleep but for me it may be when the 1/2 dose of ambien wears off in 4 hrs then BAM awake and hot flashing! Theres an insomnia thread, "a place to talk in the wee hours" on this board. They are a riot there, don't know what they are saying but seems like they have a good time. Check them out for some laughs or if you need some midnight reading. I read it occasionally but don't post.

I have had a very rough few days. We started my husband in the hospice program about 10 days ago due to his decline. He had a severe episode of aspiration pneumonia this Monday and the hospice nurse thought it would only be 24-48 hours until he died. Well like Lazerus he recovered. Not back to his baseline, still needing oxygen and not able to eat except a few bites of puréed foods. Today he actually was able to speak a little again. Still weak and falling a lot. Every day the nursing home calls about finding him on the floor. My son and his fiancée even flew in from California on the Redeye flight Monday night expecting to stay a week for a funeral. Now they are flying back on the 26th. Selfishly I am delighted to have them home for Christmas.

Lisa wonder news about the biopsy but we all knew it was going to be OK.

Holli. Happy anniversary, the card is great. We have been married for 34 years.

Jody your girls are adorable all dressed up.

I was tapering my Ativan down from 1 mg at night, 1/4 pill every 2-3 weeks. I was going to go down to only 1/4 a pill but with all the stress of the week I stayed at 1/2. I started 3 mg of melatonin before tapering the Ativan. I still wake up around 3 AM but am able to fall back to sleep quickly. I never had a sleeping problem before the BC but there has just been so many bad things happenings this year I just need the Ativan crutch a bit longer.

BENIGN!!!!! BENIGN!!!!! YAY! Lisa!!! The best word EVER!

Robin, I'm going to go with overly cautious. I saw my MO Monday. She didn't like that my BS is recommending MRI on the alternating 6 months from the mammo. She said that it leads to a lot of false positives and unneeded biopsies. Hmmmm, that confuses me.

Happy Anniversary Holli!

I am still taking Ambien to sleep. My feet still burn at night on occasion and my hands get hot every night, making it difficult to sleep. MO upset me because she is never optimistic when it comes to my neuropathy going away. I really don't need Ambien every night because some nights the hand heat is mild and my feet are fine. I just never know which night, Now that I've been taking Ambien for a year I can't sleep without it. I've been researching how to get off of it. Basically its like ripping a band aid off and being miserable for a week until your body learns to fall asleep on its own again. Then I'd like to take it for only burning hands and feet nights. I may try to transition to Melatonin.

I had a good cry last night. I hadn't cried in a while. My feet were burning and I was pissed because chemo F'd up my body and then equally pissed because I felt guilty because I should be grateful to be alive and not whining about my hands and feet and tender radiated boob (which MO says could be tender for up to two years). Then I got a text message from my boss saying a women that I worked with (but didn't know well) who transferred to Denmark 4 months ago wanted me to call her. My first thought "oh no, she has breast cancer". Yup, she was diagnosed yesterday. I talked to her for an hour. She doesn't even have her pathology back. I HATE THIS DISEASE!!!! So I had a good cry and poured a glass of wine.

Today I feel better and am going to get a good workout in and go to a Christmas party with friends and my rock hard chest guy and not even think about this messed up disease!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!