UMX or BMX at stage 3 ....any regrets? Advice?

I'm IBC and had UMX 5+ yrs ago with no regrets at all. I did not do recon - again no regrets at all

Dancing, I had lobular cancer and it is notorious for not showing up on mammos and scans. In my case, the follow-up on the good breast would have been intense and would most likely have involved many biopsies. Also, I like symmetry. So I chose BMX and found a surgeon willing to oblige (some won't, because medically/statistically it is not warranted unless you are BRCA+). In my case, it was a good thing too, since lefty was full of LCIS and other pre-cancer that had evaded mammo, U/S, MRI and CT. However, that is how lobular often behaves and if your cancer is ductal, please disregard that bit.

I did not have recon. Initially the idea was that I would have delayed recon, but the more time passes, the less likely I am ever to do it. It is a bit weird being flat and it is an adjustment, but it really doesn't bother me in any deep way. I am not interested in having lumps of silicone wedged under my pecs. Like you, I do not have enough tissue for a flap. After much research, I decided that I would not be happy with the look of reconstructed breasts and I am SOOO not interested in any more surgery, especially not a surgery with a very high complication and failure rate.

Momine, I could have written your post.  Same here.  ILC in the right breast, chose a bilateral and the left breast had LCIS that never showed on mammograms.  I have never had any reconstruction and after ten years I am completely happy with that decision.

Dancingdiva (love your screen name), this is such a personal decision.  I wish you peace and clarity in making your decision.

Dancingdiva, I was aware that many rad oncs will allow placement of expanders before rads.  Mine was just super-cautious.  He wanted the targeting of the rads to be exact, to the millimeter, and had had some incidents where the rads-damaged skin just didn't hold up to expansion, got infected, and the expander had to come out. 

I'd had other rad onc opinions that an expander would be fine, though.  For my own situation I wanted as much skin GONE as they could get, which would have made an expander even more challenging.

I had bmx 3 years ago this month. I told BS from the get go I wanted both gone. He gave me a little argument but did what I wanted.

My RO was pleased I chose no recon, made it easier for him to target where he wanted.

I'm still flat, have no regrets.

Hi Dancin, This is a really personal decision. For me,as her 2 pos, and older, almost 50 I pushed for an prophylactive mastecomy on my good side.( From the point of discovery of my lump to my 2 weeks later surgery on my bad boob, I was loaded with BC and had 12 pos nodes). Once I was over all my chemo and rad tx I demanded the other one off.Path report on that one showed alot of atypia and hyperplasia, a ticking time bomb. No regrets and no more mamos!

I wanted a BM but my SO didn't want to do that. Finally convinced her, then started to fight with insurance co. Unfortunately, because of chemo related problems, I wasn't strong enough to have a BM. Yes, I regret that. I didn't elect reconstruction which I don't regret. But each of us have different needs and desires. Were I younger or my relationship status different, I may not have made the same choices. My only advice is to go with what you're most comfortable with.

Best,

bride