Thanksgiving - Diagnosed a week ago

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rosiesgirl
rosiesgirl Member Posts: 89
edited December 2014 in Just Diagnosed

Well, here we go. The first family gathering after being diagnosed a week ago. All of those concerned sympathetic faces. Why do I dread this part so much? I am just dealing with the feelings, unknowns and uncertainty myself and now I have to put on the brave face for others. Don't get me wrong. I am part of a big loving wonderful family. I would feel the same way they feel. I hate to see the fear in their eyes. I have always hated this type of attention and I am not looking forward to this first time with the whole family. I know that they would do anything to take all of this away from me and would literally do anything in the world to make me better. I am just not ready for the attention yet. Just venting.....

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  • blondedoris
    blondedoris Member Posts: 197
    edited November 2014

    {hug}

    It's hard on you in the sense that you're still making sense of what's just happened to you, and you have to watch those who love you trying to make sense of it too.

    One day at a time...if you need space say so and they will understand.

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  • Bippy625
    Bippy625 Member Posts: 890
    edited November 2014

    rosie, normal, what you are feeling. This is an awful time for dx, though no time is a good one.

    Give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel. You may find it easier not to put alot of energy into making others feel more comfortable by being super cheery today. It is ok not to be a beaming positive beacon 24/7. Really. Not that you need to be depressed either, just a mid range is fine. It takes alot of energy to pretend. I wished I had not done so much of it myself. It taxed me severely.

    This is a rollercoaster of highs, lows and everything else in between. You have just begun your journey, but remember one thing-- most important priority is you. I know what you mean about the faces of concern. They do not stop, it is human nature, and you need to be prepared to see alot of it, from family, friends and strangers. Try not to focus on others reactions, you cannot control it anddo not need the psychic weight. Come here whenever you need understanding and gals that get it.

    Just a few tips from a person slightly ahead of you...i wished I had been able to articulate this and put it to better practice in my own beginning, would have saved me so much grief. Only now can I see this.

    That being said, you go and enjoy your loving family and friends today....blessings and best wishes


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  • Chloesmom
    Chloesmom Member Posts: 1,053
    edited November 2014

    WOWRosiesgirl! You spoke the very words that have been swimming in my head. We are in the way to my sister in law's house for the fire dinner with the Fam since my diagnosis last Friday. I pretty well knew it was an issue on the 9th when I had th Mammo and it hurt where I had the lump. It's been a roller coaster. I'm holding up well but te sad faces are getting me down. I am a pediatric physical therapist with an over scheduled case load so have been too busy to think except at 3am. My big challenge next week is meeting with coworkers and giving up some work so I can start to take care of myself. Interviewed a surgeon Tues and meeting with another surgeon and PC both on Monday. Went for MRI yesterday in the snowstorm and had to cancel it as th ins goofed and only authorized one boob! Hubby was mad but I am just taking I in stride as in the grand scheme of things it's no biggie MRI for both next Tuesday.

    All I know so far is ILC small tumor (but painful) low grade, estrogen positive. Don't have HER results yet.

    Let's keep in touch!

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  • Robin3
    Robin3 Member Posts: 145
    edited November 2014


    I was diagnosed the week before Christmas.  It is so hard. I too hate the attention. I was still trying to process everything in my head.  Forgive them for their concerned faces.  It's hard to be you, but it is hard to be them. Good luck! Next month will be 2 years from my diagnosis. If I can help you please let me know. xo

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  • proudtospin
    proudtospin Member Posts: 5,972
    edited November 2014

    suggestion, there is a site called caringbridge (or you can set something up on your own) where instead of sharing over and over the details of your journey, you can put only as much as you want to say to those who you care about

    don't feel compelled to tell all to all or even to answer all the noisy and at times Dumb questions.  Make your choices when you have all your ducks in order.

    and of course, use the gang here to help whenever you want!

    ps....I am 6+ years out and NED (as in no evidence of disease)

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  • rosiesgirl
    rosiesgirl Member Posts: 89
    edited November 2014

    It really was a great day. Lot's of tearful hugs, but that is to be expected. I have been feeling pretty nauseous, probably nerves and the gallon of red-cat I had to drink for my cat scan yesterday. So great advice, Thank you! I think I will investigate the caring bridge, or something similar. I thought about checking into something similar. I really like that idea. I think for now I will forget about cancer for the rest of the weekend. It will still be there on Monday when I go to the oncologist and for my bone scan. Best wishes to you as well, Cholesmom. Let's keep in touch.

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  • Bikerbabe17
    Bikerbabe17 Member Posts: 116
    edited December 2014

    Same thing happened to me. I have an appointment next Monday to learn about the details and the treatment plan. The waiting is the worst. I know nothing except the biopsy was positive. and I'm at a conference all week, just waiting. This sucks. No matter who I talk to about it, the response is the same, it will be ok, so much progress has been made...I know all of that, bit I'm still scared about what lays ahead.

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited December 2014

    Dear Bikerbabe, Welcome to the BCO community. You have joined a caring and informed group of others who can offer support and encouragement along the way. We hope that you will keep in touch and stay connected here. The Mods

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