INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

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Comments

  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited November 2014

    Hard to sleep or even stretch out in bed and rest while trying to make sense of BC information. Yes, I read your public posts on other threads. *Hugs*

  • Bcky
    Bcky Member Posts: 167
    edited November 2014

    I had the Lumpectomy on 10/31. Friday I went in for the Pathology. Now I am waiting for the Oncotype. By far this is some kind of frightening situation. Like a bad nightmare I cannot wake from. The Surgeons Assistant is asking to see if I am open to Chemo if my Oncotype is high. I do not want chemo but they found tumor cells on a lymphnode. I had a small frontal headache today and immediately I thought it could be a tumor cell migrating to my brain. The cancer treatments they offer are horrifying. The whole thing is beyond my minds ability to cope. They thought I had rib mets in a Cat Scan but Pet Scan proved I did not. I think the waiting and what ifs and toxic treatments are beyond my resiliance really.


  • footprintsangel
    footprintsangel Member Posts: 43,890
    edited November 2014

    I hope You got my prayer I sent You Bcky, I know You will do fine

    theres a lot of love.  We all have been were You have and still sometimes

    I get that way. Then I know I must think good things or do something for

    someone else, But journaling helped me. 10good things in front back was scary

    and when You close it, You read a lot in front

  • Bcky
    Bcky Member Posts: 167
    edited November 2014
  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited November 2014

    Probably a stress headache. No doubt, you're feeling numb from the neck up. Please have someone with you for each Doctor appointment for support. In time you're going to have a BC care plan. You always get the last word when it comes to your BC treatments!

  • footprintsangel
    footprintsangel Member Posts: 43,890
    edited November 2014

    You will make it, Please stay strong, knowing You are alot

    of support and love here.

  • Bcky
    Bcky Member Posts: 167
    edited November 2014

    How is it in 2014 almost 2015 they do not have a cure for this? I got a bill from the Radiologist for her consultation. It was 500 dollars. I have in my heart rage that the modern medical system is criminal. They charge 5 hundred because they can. Why is the US not like Canada. The Free Market of Capitalism should never be allowed in health care. I have two college degrees and have worked so hard all my life to have modern medicine offer me poison for a not really cure and to financially devastate me. I am sad angry and scared. It is all outageous and I simply cannot acclimate to any of it.

  • footprintsangel
    footprintsangel Member Posts: 43,890
    edited November 2014

    Please know that there are many places that will help with the

    bills and other help You needs, one is the American Cancer Society

  • momof2doxies
    momof2doxies Member Posts: 342
    edited November 2014

    Hello, I am Jenifer and I am awake AGAIN. I have had 2 primary tumors in the past 2 years. I am about a year out of chemo. However, I am now healing from a torn rotator cuff. The surgery and rehab for that requiresme to have my arm in a sling for 8 weeks. I hope to be out of the sling around Christmas.

    Bcky…The waiting will always be the worst part of treatment. I will keep you in my thoughts for a low onco score. And when you get that result, then you will be able to make the best plan. If chemo is best for you, so be it. It is doable and life WILL get back to normal. I went through everything this time last year. But I found the strength to be the mother of the bride in May '14 and I will be back to normal as soon as this shoulder heals.

    Just wide awake and listening to my DH snoring. I have a physical in the AM with my PCP. Will be glad to get that over with :)

    I love a laugh, so I hope Ya'll will enjoy some of my Southern humor.

    ((hugs))


  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited November 2014

    Quiet day, this evening reclined and watched a new 2 hour *Finding Bigfoot* show!

  • footprintsangel
    footprintsangel Member Posts: 43,890
    edited November 2014

    Hi momof2doxie, Good luck with all You are doing in the morning, I am

    wide awake too and know it better to stay positive and laughing is a healing

    med. Take care, footprintsangel

  • footprintsangel
    footprintsangel Member Posts: 43,890
    edited November 2014

    Long day today, needed to do laundry and the rest of the day I relaxed.

    cause I am still fighting as You know.

  • Bcky
    Bcky Member Posts: 167
    edited November 2014

    I see so many DCIS and IDC in the same diagnosis I swear DCIS must be the MotherShip from which IDC springs. I thought to have a mastectomy but I hear/read so many women have chest wall recurrence. I also did not have the courage. That was my first real surgery Friday/ Lumpectomy in my life. I have always been really really strong but this cancer is the first time in my life I am admitting I am simply too afraid. Too afraid of Mastectomy. Too afraid of chemo. RUN FROM THE CURE! Cause there is none. And I hate all that fluffy punk stuff too. Makes me want to get angry. It is almost like propaganda. No it is propaganda. The US has a huge epidemic of breast cancer and No Real Cure so the media has everyone believe breast cancer is just a minor boo boo and not the awful searing nightmare it is. RUN FROM THE CURE!


  • footprintsangel
    footprintsangel Member Posts: 43,890
    edited November 2014

    I have IDC and have had high chemo and 3 surgeries and

    am still enjoying life. Trying to think of all the wonderful help

    we didn't have years ago. I count my blessing

  • Bcky
    Bcky Member Posts: 167
    edited November 2014

    I gather this is supposed to be a light and easy thread to help people sleep and I am being awful. I am sorry. I am just frightened. But anyway I am going to take a pain med and try and sleep. You are all in my prayers and I am a sister. Love and Prayers. Good Night.

  • footprintsangel
    footprintsangel Member Posts: 43,890
    edited November 2014

    Please do not think that, we all have been there, and people did

    help us too. God bless You and keep You in the arms of His love

    Please let us know how You are doing. Hugs and prayers.

  • Holeinone
    Holeinone Member Posts: 2,478
    edited November 2014

    hello to all...

    Welcome to all the newbies. I got to keep this short, on my phone.

    PattyPepper, stay upright please. Why do the ladies on this thread keep falling? Sounds like a opening to a joke. Maybe Chevy or Cami can answer it..

    DutchChris, talk to us..what's going on?

    I have been AWOL. I'm in Las Vegas, driving home in the morning...

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited November 2014

    OMG I just wrote a whole post and it went poof, yes poof on me how dare it.

    I'm sorry again for being MIA--I'm just goofy and floopy--I did read about the UTI's that what I have been having on anti0B's now and got called 3 x by my Dr. something to do with the culture so I start again this week, I don't know what's going on and I get the all the time too???WTF

    Welcom all the newbies and Bcky I know this is all hard to digest, but when u know the whole story and they have a plan, sometimes everything seems to go in place, and u'r fear subsides, just don't google and we're all hear for u and don't ever apologize for anything u say, unless u call me a name that disgusting like others do. U'll find strength where u never thought u had it, so if u need something for nerves ask u'r Dr. and tell them exactly how u feel. Most Drs. are very helpful in that way so use that to u'r advantage--it will help u immensely.

    Blondie always (((HUGS)))

    And Chevy always ????? and a raspberry, the sound doesn't come thru on a computer.

    I didn't read all the thread yet, so I'm just going on what I read so far. And u gals are great.

  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Member Posts: 5,712
    edited November 2014

    Hugs back

    Bcky no worry no it is a thread 4 us totalk in case someone like me is up...what chevy said, the inknown is the worse, no decision has to be made right now.

    Hole vegas, did u have fun

    It is cold here 38 or something 

    2am gonna 4 a while  then try 2 sleep happy Monday 



  • JWoo
    JWoo Member Posts: 1,171
    edited November 2014

    image

    my friend and I at Heathrow!

  • Blessings2011
    Blessings2011 Member Posts: 4,276
    edited November 2014

    Lurking but not posting.... finally discovering the realities of the effect of TBIs on emotions... ARGHHH! Major meltdown yesterday. But I woke up this morning, realizing that if I can just do this one day at a time, I can do this.

    I need to refocus on what I can't do, and focus on what I still CAN do. Which is a lot.

    Thinking of all my Owlette sisters who need a good hug and big prayers.... sending both through this screen.

    And - how awesome is this pic?

    image

  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited November 2014

    Relaxing with my coffee before I get my act in gear!

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited November 2014

    Morning gals! Hah! Blondie.... thanks! You should HEAR some of my stories.... AND Cammi's! Of which none of them are true.... well maybe some parts maybe.... but we tend to expound on them.... a little.

    Now Spookiers, no, wait.... I don't know either... I think her head is on her feet... I think I can distinguish an ear... a pink ear... possibly?

    Mema.... Yes, it was the BEST exhibit I have ever seen! And set around all the gardens, like the glass sculptures were PART of the ponds, etc. Something I will never forget! It is here through November.... I can't imagine how they will dismantle it all....!

    Meow, we are supposed to get cth weather here tomorrow.... That is "colder than hell" for those of you who don't have a clue what that means, as if in Florida! Rain would be good, but that bitter cold, is just.... well BITTER!

    Foots! Yes, we are warm.... Ha! I love to snuggle up on the couch with my warm blankets that I make...

    For those of you in Florida, who don't know what a blanket is..... oh never mind.

    Oh Teka, you found a BCKY! That must be short for Becky.... I'm pretty good at these things you know... She can't sleep!

    Bcky, we will take care of you... I can't do it at night, because I'm one of those that sleep...Ha!

    Don't be afraid Bcky... You have to wait until the final pathology report, to see what is going on... Remember, we are here for you... If you have even one little positive node, which I see, you did, they will want to protect you with radiation, and maybe chemo! So many of these gals did not want to do it either, but if it helps them, and keeps things from getting worse, then at least there are ways to fight this...

    You must be scared! We all are/were too.... You just can't help it. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

    It's like every little ache or pain, or twitch, you will naturally think of the worst... but just get it checked out... You are Stage 1.... that helps.

    And don't cry Bcky.... then you get us all a-cryin, and it puffs up our face, and our eye-liner runs...

    Yes... Teka said a stress head-ache... so we'll go with that. Yes, take someone with you... Find some handsome thing, if you don't have one of your own.... okay?

    Just don't worry... do you have insurance? I know it is ridiculous... don't tell Sassy, or she will be all over this like honey on a bee... wait... like honey on toast... or something.

    And so now we have a Jennifer... and she has Doxies! Yeah! OH MY DOG! A torn rotator cuff? Can't you find anything simpler? I went through this with my Daugher#2... Yes.... Aw geez.... that's all I can say....

    Yes, we need low onco scores.. Mine was 19... a "low intermediate" but I whined and said no, I don't want to do that, so I didn't. So I didn't go to chemo-jail.

    So Doxie.... don't stay away too long... Your husband snores? Damn! Put a pillow on his nose... or kick him in the butt... maybe hum to him... If all else fails, banish him to the stair-well... THAT should do it... Hah!

    BCKY! You are still awake? Get some sleep girl! Are you alone? I mean is there anyone like family that can be there for you? This will all get easier.... and don't be mad.... these are all things we have to go through.

    Lots of disappointments, sure, but we want you to think every day will have a bright spot....

    Just don't go tearing your rotator cuff, like MomoDoxie die, or fall and break your hip, like I did... Or then there is Spookie, who did a face-plant on the floor... doing some crazy dance move... It COULD be worse!

    See? Foots is your cheer-leader! THAT gal is tough!

    And there is Cammi! WTH Cammi! You lost a post? SURE you did! You are feeling puny? What's going on here little girl? You must need some Chicken-soup! And Milk Toast... GO TO THAT DOCTORS OFFICE FAST! You don't sound healthy to me! And so what IS this....? You say "and u'r fear subsides.... " Well at least you spelled "fear" right.

    You sound like Charles Dickens or someone with this "fear subsides" stuff. (She don't know how to spell YOU, so she just says "u". She thinks she is texting or something)

    Oh WAIT until she says "recockulous".... Ha!

    Morning Blondie girl! You are in PA? It's supposed to get down to around ZERO in a coupld days! DAMN! That's all I can say...

    Morning JWOW! Good Pic! And what's going on Blessings? A melt-down? That's not good... What are TBI's by the way... Okay.... just try doing 10 minutes.... get through that, and then go on to 10 minutes more. How is your head doing, by the way?

    And I love your picture of the Owl!

    Good pictures JWOW! Like telling us your story! Your friend reminds me of Mariska Hargitay!

    Morning Momom! I'm having coffee with you! Have a good day gals!

    xoxox

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited November 2014

    Cammi! You said "raspberries?" I got some. I bought 4 little containers at 88 cents each! Did you say you want some?

  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited November 2014

    I DO TOO KNOW WHAT A BLANKET IS!!!!!

    I'm wrapped up in one now, it's fricken freezing out!!! It's 57!!!!!! My feet were like ice cubes last night, had the heat pad on them. Must find my heated BLANKET today. This winter stuff if for Northerners. Or people from Colorado

  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited November 2014

    First load of laundry is going. Threw one of hubby's winter coats and all the hats and gloves in to get washed.

  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited November 2014

    Busy day, Husband and I heading out for 6-month PCP visit and flu shot.

    image

  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited November 2014

    lol

    Holy crow! Just flipped over to the Weather Channel and I am seeing the storm that my relatives are getting back in Wisconsin. Even my brother who lives east of the Twin Cities is getting it! The local station said this morning that its gonna be colder here in the coming week and a couple chances for us to see flurries!

  • momof2doxies
    momof2doxies Member Posts: 342
    edited November 2014

    Good Morning Ladies,

    Well I finally fell asleep maybe around 1:30, and now it is time to get ready for the PCP appointment. When I get back I a going to try to start decluttering. It may take awhile for this one hand/arm lady. So hope everyone has a nice day. ((HUGS))

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