3 more days till surgery

(((Nursie))) hang in there…it's been a couple years now but I remember how scared I felt just before my BMX. I couldn't explain why but I was a wreck. I had immediate reconstruction too. What I can tell you is I do not regret it one bit…the surgery went really well and I haven't had any problems with the reconstruction. They predicted 6 - 7 hours in the operating room but I was out in 4 1/2 hours. I stayed one night and went home the next afternoon. Worst part was the drains but they were able to pull them in a week. As one of my BMX sisters said, her breasts tried to kill her so she got rid of them - that's how I feel too, I don't miss them. I had skin sparing MX and was able to keep the feeling in my breast skin so that was good. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, this time next week it will be behind you (((Hugs))) Maureen

I cried so hard after diagnosis. I felt sincere , true terror and despair. One fleeting moment I though I would even prefer to kill myself than to face all that I feared. My loving husband knows me so well. We have been a couple since I was 15! He very patiently held me through one of the nights of terror and asked that I try to voice exactly what I feared and that we would slay each demon one by one.

At that time I did not yet know stage, or grade, or what type of surgery or treatment, or outcome or anything. My fears were many, huge and all very real.

We talked about each fear . Very patiently he talked to me about the best scenario and the worst scenario. What we could do for each fear. What we may need more education on. What we may have to just try to set aside for this night. Mastectomy was of course one of the big fears .

I understand fear and I now understand that most of what we fear does not happen at all. Most of what I needed materialized the second I needed it but never a moment sooner.

I hope for you all that you need and a little more to spare.

Nursie, happy to have you back. I think a long chat with your onc is in order to answer your questions. But first things first, no one can predict your outcome, but its good they're treating your cancer aggressively. Your biggest fear right now is of the unknown. Once you get started I think things will start to feel more hopeful for you. I recall telling my father the loss of my breasts wasn't nearly as frightening as the thought of chemo, but I survived and it wasn't nearly as awful as I expected. You will receive support from many others in your same situation. Listen to them, read these boards and check out the December chemo board. I found this immensely helpful and supportive. Hang in there Nursie.

Amy

hello sweetie, i too felt that way, and even more for i was planning my wedding when i found the lump, i was so sad to go into a second marriage with the right man i,d prayed for,i was having a L mast, and felt so un whole going into this marriage, but my wonderful Fiancee, now husband said, that he rather have me here, than keep my breast(lumpectomy) and nothave me here. So sweetie, u see whatever keeps u here with family and friends was my choice, now going on 21 ys Survivor(Praise the Lord GOD. msphil(idc,stage 2, 3 nodes, L MAST, CHEMO BEFORE SURGERY AND CHEMO AFTER, WE GOT MARRIED AND THEN i did rads, 5 yrs on tamoxifen0.

Hi

Good luck!!!! It can be a huge relief.

I had glamour shots taken the night before. Sleep deprivation helped a great deal.

I have decided to wait for breast reconstruction. Initially by choice

Now just waiting to see how things go