Here's what cheezed me off today

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  • mel147
    mel147 Member Posts: 479
    edited October 2014

    Sounds like my experience at work today was similar to yours wambles while you were waiting for your MRI.  I share an office with 2 people, but only one was there today.  Another co-worker came in to sit down and talk to her along with another person.  Next thing I know I hear the conversation turning to the topic of cancer and dying if the treatment doesn't work, etc. etc.  I really couldn't believe it.  I just sat doing my work and not acknowledging them or the conversation.   I know the person who started the conversation just wasn't thinking and I wasn't mad at him...at some point he realized what he had been saying and he did say something to me about it, but still...the topic just made me sad.   It makes me realize how important it is for me to think of the people around me when I am speaking so I don't inadvertently make someone else sad.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2014
    mel147 

    you are more understanding than I would have been. As this journey continues, I seem to be losing patience with stupidity. And wambles, your friend wasn't really a friend. Have you found yourself getting rid of "fair weather friends" I did and I've found new friends who are real. 

    Still wishing to hear from Rocky. If you're reading this, give me a shout!

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  • purple32
    purple32 Member Posts: 3,188
    edited October 2014

    GOLILLY2

    DUMP the doc ...wouldnt be too thrilled with the husband either right now, but who knows what he may be going through I suppose.  My husband has stage 4 inoperable colon cancer ( recurrence) and its not EZ in either of us right now.

    Find another dr. asap!

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  • Bicque
    Bicque Member Posts: 73
    edited October 2014

    Hi Wambles, 

    I do not know what your friend said, but please do not be demoralized, I know, easier said than done, right?! None of us is perfect or flawless in our pursuit of good health, we certainly give a **ck about you.

    You mentioned issues with tamoxifen and anastrolze, I'm not having problems with tamoxifen but I know I've read posts by others who lowered their doses, might that work for you? I've also read posts about others noticing differences in SEs from one brand to an other of the same drug, perhaps switching brands might work?

    I'm hoping today is a better day for you, take care!

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  • aunt_paula
    aunt_paula Member Posts: 271
    edited October 2014

    Wambles, I'm so sorry your friend hurt you, and so glad you're here.

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  • mel147
    mel147 Member Posts: 479
    edited October 2014

    rohanna - yes, when I thought about it later I thought I really should have said something to indicate I didn't appreciate the conversation but I guess that was my first run in with stupid in a while and I guess it just shocked me into silence.  

    Good news, though...nothing majorly cheezed me off today except maybe my co-workers super sweaty son sitting in my chair at work while I was away from my desk.  Blech!  I consider that pretty minor, though, so, hot diggety dog!

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  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited October 2014

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

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  • wambles
    wambles Member Posts: 67
    edited October 2014

    Gosh, this one floored me

    Had my first gynae appt today to get the wheels in motion for my oophorectomy.

    The doc was a lovely woman, very thorough with her explanations etc.

    Then she came out with this gem: Having your ovaries out will make future decisions regarding chemo, easier.

    I've had two bouts with BC and never had chemo first time round. As far as I've been told it wont be happening this time either. Except...... I've had an MRI, CT and bone scan...

    Do they know something I've not yet been told? And was this gynaecologist being totally unprofessional saying what she did?

    More to the point, how can an ooph affect chemo decisions? I'm very confused right now.

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited October 2014


    Wambles, the only thing I know of is the choice of tamox versus AI's. Oophs in --Tamox. Oophs out ---AI's. Other agents have no idea.

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  • wambles
    wambles Member Posts: 67
    edited October 2014

    Yes, sas, that's how I understand it. And she had my file in front of her so knows what I am/have taken hormone wise. Its the fact that she mentioned chemotherapy that got me stumped.

    Don't think I could handle that!!!

    I know, gotta do what ya gotta do but I'm social phobic, have serious anxiety and depression problems (to the point of self harming) and I really don't handle all this BC stuff very well.

    I'm sorry

     

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  • shycat
    shycat Member Posts: 76
    edited October 2014

    As I understand, some chemo agents can destroy or negatively affect fertility which can still be of concern to younger women.  Removing the ovaries means preserving fertility is no longer a concern and makes those chemo agents available for use.

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  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited October 2014

    My onc told me that because I was post-menopausal, my chemo would include taxotere.  Pre-menopausal would have been taxol.  And if I'd still had functioning ovaries, she'd have wanted either an oophorectomy or Lupron to shut them down.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2014

    OK, I've got a good laugh for you! Today at the onc's the medical asst. was going over my chart with me. It states in 2 places that I'm post menopausal and the tech asked me "Are you still breast feeding?" I just looked at him with a stunned face because my mind went blank. Then I just cracked up and couldn't stop laughing. Then he got the giggles and we couldn't stop. Finally, when I could breathe, I said, "If I was still breastfeeding, we should call Brian Williams and the National Enquirer!" The lady at the desk had to come tell us to quiet down. Which just made us laugh harder!

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited October 2014

    Forms and protocols are soooooooooooo stupid. Great you had such a laugh today b/c a box had to be checked, hoped the Ma learned something.

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  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited October 2014

    That is really funny!

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  • wambles
    wambles Member Posts: 67
    edited October 2014

    Hi

    Thanks for the replies re chemo and ooph. Kinda understand why it was brought up now.

    As for the breastfeeding/postmenopausal comment, that had me giggling too. Gotta love medical protocols!!

    Hugs

    Xx

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  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited October 2014

    lol

    Hubby's being a total jerk today, had to stay home and cause me to be aggrivated. So he's gonna be busting his butt working in the house.

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  • Beatmon
    Beatmon Member Posts: 1,562
    edited October 2014

    and now my friends they have added, have you traveled to Africa in the last 3 weeks? Really. I'm here all the time! 

    But I do understand.

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  • Rockym
    Rockym Member Posts: 1,261
    edited October 2014

    rohanna, way too funny!

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  • mel147
    mel147 Member Posts: 479
    edited October 2014

    rohanna - glad you all had a good laugh about it!  Although I had a hysterectomy in 2003, I was asked many, many times the date of my last menstrual cycle. I guess everyone goes on automatic pilot with this stuff!

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  • ndgrrl
    ndgrrl Member Posts: 741
    edited October 2014


    Hi, This sounds like a great place to vent. I know I should not let people get to me and this happened this past summer but it still brings me down if I think about it. I was 44 when diagnosed in July 2013- Day after DX we went to Duluth for vacation as we had planned before DX.. This year hubby and I went back to Duluth and stayed in a wonderful Bed and Breakfast and stood on their upper deck to watch the beautiful fireworks.  Us and the other guests got to know each other and hubby mentioned something about this vacation to Duluth is in celebration of me being almost one year cancer free.   One of the ladies looked at me and said how old are your children. I said 20 and 22- she said good, you raised them your job is done so you can go.. I said what?  She said well you do know breast cancer always comes back. Give it 5 yrs you will see!!

    I stood there with my mouth hanging open and couldn't say a word. I guess since a friend last year was 5 yrs out when her cancer came back and losing another gal I knew to bc this summer really made it all hit home!!  We could have booked to stay over the 4th of July again for next year but I was not about to even consider running into that woman again!!!!  

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  • wambles
    wambles Member Posts: 67
    edited October 2014

    Oh ndgrrl,

    Sounds just like the Mr Charming who told me EVERYONE dies from cancer!!!

    Don't ya just wanna tickle em under the chin?

    Hugs to you,

    X

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  • Janett2014
    Janett2014 Member Posts: 3,833
    edited October 2014

    ndgrrl, I just noticed that our Dx stats are exactly the same. I also have kids in their 20s, but I'm older than you. How are you doing on Tamoxifen? I'm on Arimidex (Anastrozole). 

    What a stupid and insensitive thing for that woman to say to you! I have two sisters and a cousin who are way past the five year mark and several friends and acquaintances too who are MANY years past diagnosis and treatment. I posted this on another thread (I think it was "Success Stories"). A lady at my church said to me when she heard about my diagnosis: "Honey, you will be fine. I had breast cancer, let's see, more than 30 years ago, and I'm fine." She had a UMX and no other treatment. 

    Anyway, I guess it's no surprise that some people can be kind and supportive and others are just mean, negative clods!

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  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited October 2014

    Oh that would have made me go "Oh yeah, well my mom had colon cancer and she has been cancer free for 15 years, ya dippy broad!"

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  • Janett2014
    Janett2014 Member Posts: 3,833
    edited October 2014

    I think that anyone who has had BC worries to some degree about a recurrence. For goodness sake though, we don't need someone telling us as though it's new information!

    Also, regarding the mean, negative clods I mentioned above, I am amazed when people point out obvious negatives. When I was in my 20s an older woman coworker said to me one day, "Oh, your skin has really broken out!" I wish I had thought to say, "Thank goodness you told me because I don't have a mirror, and I had no idea!" What is wrong with some people?! Why do they never seem to think about how THEY would feel if the remarks were addressed to them?

    I guess that's what cheezes me off far too often!

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  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited October 2014

    Besides my arthritis acting up in my foot, I slept wrong and can't turn my head to the right without getting a jolt of pain. Looked all over for the neck brace I have for these occasions and can't find it!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • wambles
    wambles Member Posts: 67
    edited October 2014

    MOmmyOf2,

    I have that today too!! Must have slept in a draught. Kinda drags ya down all day long, like toothache.

    Hope it eases up soon for you.

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  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited October 2014

    me too. Sucks when this happens. I think I must have slept in an awkward way to have caused it.

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited October 2014


    Ndgrrl, your story reminds me we should have some stats ready when some Stupid opens their mouth. Usually, that's right up my alley to go search something like that, but not feeling well.

    If someone would volunteer to find these stats and post here , it would help us all :) sassy

    1 how many BC dx's a year dx'd. & ratio in population

    2 Long term survival

    3 definition of metastatic breast cancer

    4 long term survival rate

    Whatever questions you want to add.

    I thought of this the other day when talking with a friend whose information was wrong. I said Oops I know your wrong , but I don't have the correct answer. This would be a good time for having answers

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited October 2014


    NDG If that B&B is something that is really important to you. Please, don't let that stupid drive you away. Lordy, we have few wonderful things in life that are as dreamy as your special place. Sounds soooo romantic

    I would suggest 1 Book the B&B, 2 By the end of this month write down what you would have said to her, pack it away in your travel kit. 3.Next year have it in your pocket ready to pull out to do a "OH BTW your comment from last year was really uninformed, I thought you needed some help on understanding how poorly educated on the subject you are (smiling oh sweetly, while thinking Okay Bitch listen up)." Then teach her. May sound trite, but you will never forget the hurt of that moment. She either learns or is offended. Perhaps she will think twice before being that stupid again. If she doesn't her loss and  you will garner some satisfaction from it.

     

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