Starting chemo September 2014

LARock, so sorry about your mouth! I scratched up the roof of my mouth on toast! The strangest things cause problems on this chemo train. For heartburn, I've been taking my hubby's prescription acid blockers. OTC meds just weren't cutting it.

Thanks for all of the support with the teen son problems. I'm not a big crier... but I cry for my kids... and only 3 or 4 times about this entire breast cancer issue. We contacted his school counselor about his grades (Ds and Fs), and yesterday she called him into her office to talk to him. She told us that he broke down and cried; told her he is distracted and concerned about my BC. Sadly, I'm not sure if this is entirely true... or just an additional excuse.... basically only part of the problem. The school district cut the school psychologists a few years ago during the budget crisis. Today this son and DH are attending the school districts' "Pathways to Higher Education" conference. I hope this inspires him. As my dear Daddy said "You couldn't pay me enough money to go back and relive those teenage years".

Kris, I just saw that you added something I wrote to your signature. I am honored... and I say that to myself every single day!

Rough night of sleep for me too, thanks to my overzealous TE fills yesterday. Ouch! So hope this is worth it!

Today is a sad day for me. My wedding anniversary. While I was getting dressed this morning, I was thinking back to getting ready on my wedding day, and how I believed that I had truly found my soulmate, and that although neither one of us was perfect, we were perfect for each other. I meant every word of every vow I made that day. Been a lot of years: lots of joy, lots of tears. Never imagined I would spend my anniversary morning doing the kid handoff in a Starbuck's parking lot and facing this BC experience on my own. I know I have to let myself mourn the loss and move on, but it is all so raw and new, just like this cancer diagnosis. Two months ago today, I had no idea that I was about to lose my health, my breasts, my husband/best friend, my home, and half of my time with my son. Aug. 5, my diagnosis came in and it has seemed like the hits have kept coming. Yesterday was such a good day for me, and tomorrow will be too. Guess I'm just giving myself permission for today to be awful and sad and rotten. Somehow need to pull myself together tonight to attend a benefit that is being put on by a member of my BC support group. She gifted me the ticket, and although I really want to curl up for a good old crying session, I think maybe God figured I should get dressed up and out of the house tonight and try to have a little fun. So I'm painting on my face and forcing myself to put one foot in front of the other! Thanks for listening to me whine, and for being so encouraging to me as I navigate this crazy path!

Badhairday, My boobs hurt in sympathy for yours. Are you taking motrin, Tylenol... anything to help with the pain?

Two months.... and so many HUGE changes for you. Raw and new is right! I wish there was something I could do to help you. I know you have your support group and your church. Lean on others now. Give yourself time to grieve today! Allow yourself to cry for an amount of time (an hour or two maybe)... then get in the shower and put on your makeup and dressy clothes and enjoy the night with your friend. It can be hard to get out there.... but do it my friend!

BTW, if you think antidepressants would help you during all this upheaval, talk to your doctor. They have made a huge difference for me (and I'm not someone who even take Tylenol before this BC crap).

Kris and Kaya, My DH is from Steamwood, Ill! Small world! He still has family in Elgin, Schaumburg, Skokie and Mt. Prospect.

also forgot.... Anyone else experiencing neuropothy?? 

Well, for a day that started out fairly badly, it ended up being a great day. 

After another rough night I went to the drug store and loaded up on Prilosec OTC, Miralax, and several Biotine products - mouthwash, gel and spray.  The Biotine is really helpful for anyone suffering from that terrible taste and dry mouth. 

I decided today was a good day to simplify and DH, who is a hair stylist, buzzed most of my hair off. I wear it short for the most part anyway but it feels good not to have to mess with it.

DD and I played tennis this afternoon. It was hotter than blazes (100+ degrees) and I had to sit and rest frequently but it felt great to be out there. 

Even better, DH made veggie burgers tonight and I think it was the best tasting thing I've had all week. I was able to eat the entire thing. Hopefully the Prilosec will ward away any heartburn tonight!

It's been fairly quiet on here today. I hope that means everyone is also having a good day!

LARock, I considered the shotgun "solution", but my friends reminded me I don't look good in orange or stripes!

PoppyK, my doc just upped my Lexapro and Lorazepam. I am convinced that's the only reason I haven't fallen completely apart!

Zimastar, sorry about the hair and the neuropathy. No advice, but I feel for you on both counts!

Zjrosenthal, a friend who is going through chemo for a blood cancer told me not to waste a minute of the good days dreading the bad ones, or you miss out on enjoying them. Easier said than done, but advice I've been trying to follow myself.

Kris103, Hope your nausea goes away and stays away! And I also love that saying from Poppy. Somebody should stitch that on a pillow!

The fundraiser benefit tonight was really nice. it was a sellout crowd of 200, and they raised a lot of money. There were tons of fabulous prizes, which I did not win, but I hung out with some of my support group ladies and a few of the husbands, and we had a great meal, and a nice time catching up. Our volunteer bartenders were from the Cleveland Gladiators football team, and a lot of us felt like dirty old women for admiring the eye candy! LOL!

Each breast cancer survivor was given a gold medal when we walked in, and at one point, we danced around the room in a conga line, with everybody applauding and high-fiving us. It was this amazing, diverse, and zany group of ladies. I laughed harder than I have in ages. It was so good for my soul, and it is so wonderful that some of these women are so many years past their diagnosis and treatment, and yet they keep showing up to help us newbies get through it all. So inspiring, and something I hope I am able to do someday.

On the way home, I picked up the keys to my apartment! Tomorrow is moving day! Woohoo! I wonder if I will be this excited at this time tomorrow night?

In other news, my boobs are still killing me, and I will never, ever, ever agree to another 100cc fill again. OWWWW!

zjrosenthal,  I'm in the same boat with you.  I feel almost like my old self and yet dreading chemo #2 on Wednesday.  I'm not dwelling on it but it's always in the back of my mind.  I have a really fun day planned today.  My DH and I are in a 9 hole golf outing followed by a football watching luncheon.  DH is really looking forward to it.  I'm not much of a golfer and it's kind of cold out there this morning but he's done so much for me the last few weeks, I can't say no.  And, I'm working on having a positive attitude.  Definitely looking forward to the luncheon and spending time with friends.

Good luck tomorrow and have an extra great day today.

raining, what a crappy weather day today, on a positive note, I lost 4 pounds this week, before this cancer diagnosis my DH and I were trying to eat healthy and lose weight, he was actually in line for Bariatric surgery, but one of his medical conditions got worse and sidelined that, then I got diagnosed, so we continue on our quest for weight loss and healthy eating, dry mouth has been an issue this week and constipation, but I got the right drugs, and it helped, hoping to get out this week and do some leaf peeping, if the weather cooperates, for those of you facing chemo this week, hydrate, hydrate, hydrate, and may you have few side effects! I'm on the backside, knowing this is when my WBC is lowest, I'll try to stay away from germs, lol! Some days I feel like a hermit! But if it keeps me healthy, so be it! Keep the faith!

Can anyone describe what round 3 was like for them? Was is better, worse or the same? I have meetings and a presentation to give exactly one week after my infusion and I am scared of the fatigue and other SE being worse.

Melannmor44- I'm approaching #3 this Thursday. You don't have your treatment posted...but if it's C/Tax I would say after #2 was actually better for me. I was prepared for SE after #2. For instance I had thrush the first time and was able to start medication for that before it started this time.  Since you're not having the Nuelasta shot you're able to cut that one off your list and that SE will for sure be easier then this time.  I did not find SE got worse and no NEW SE developed. I would say I was slightly more tired, but that could be life in general right? 

Best of luck tomorrow!

SueBe - Round 3 of CT for me was a combination. I had gotten better at anticipating and countering side effects, but at the same time the fatigue was deeper and I'd get a little short of breath when I was active. It was about the 1-week point when I started to feel more like myself again. It sounds like you might be in for a long day with meetings and a presentation to do. I've got no particular sage advice, outside of rest whenever you can. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Hello ladies! I really don't post much, but linger a lot. I think posting really forces me to admit that this is really going on. I keep thinking I'll wakeup & this was all a bad dream. I am also a mommy of kids ages 3, 5, and 7.   Had only 1 infusion & it went fine. I am a huge needle phob, so I had a port placed before and am soooo glad I did. I was quick & painless. Had very little SE, which is good.

My main problem is the sadness. I just can't get past it. I am scared to death about hair loss. I didn't cold cap & am wishing I did. I only started a week ago, so no loss yet but the thought consumes me. I seriously cry every time I think about it. Call me shallow, but it is a real concern. I work in an elementary school & have 3 small kids of my own. I am more worried about all the reactions from them than anyone. I just hate everything about this situation & still can't wrap my brain around it.

barremom-yeah I asked my doc about it, he said the fatigue would be worse.  I am gonna start taking levaquin in 5 days for 10 days.  He said that could cause joint pain, yay, not!  Only two more to go.  Ready to be finished.  

Miscraw,  The hair loss and the general sadness of what was to come was my biggest problem.  I cried every time I thought about losing my hair, but guess what?  It fell out anyway and I got two wigs.  Nobody notices, unless I tell them I am wearing a wig.  It looks almost like my real hair and I can take it off when I get home, along with the girls, and get comfortable.  As my DH has told me time and again, my hair will grow back (his will not)!!!!  He loves me for who I am, not what I look like.  This too shall pass!!!!!

anyone .......hair stats after first infusion?  I picked my wig with DH two weeks ago and have primed staff I am going for a makeover

Starting to shed I think...day 10. Want to make follow up appointment for S Saturday but the unrealistic part says why?  I may still have hair?!!!!!! 

Day 14 really the magic number?

Sybil....LOVE it. First twin comes home from college Friday for a week....still have to tell him about chemo

Second one the following Thursday. Looking forward to a spotless bathroom and going milk it!!!  Haha. Seriously DH has been great, but will appreciate the boys help